Face and Smash Your Real Issues
This is one of my favorite topics.
As much as I like helping guys Get Laid, I also like helping guys get their shit together. Maybe more.
God knows that I really had to work on myself to get the results that I have.
I wasn't the [usually] super positive guy I am today when I started this stuff.
A lot of guys get into this whole "I want to bang lots of HOT chicks" thing because they think it will solve a lot of their problems.
Don't get me wrong- banging chicks and having an endless supply of HOT pussy at your disposal will enrich your life a ton. There is no denying that, especially if you have been undersexed for years.
It won't solve all your problems though.
It actually does the opposite for a while -
It will bring your problems the surface and force you to kill them if you want to continue to progress.
Furthermore, it really isn't possible [to have an endless supply of HOT pussy to snack on] until you at least get most of your issues handled.
I'm seen it a thousand times- a guy gets into this thinking that this process is about picking up women and getting pussy. If they learn this stuff and do it, everything will fall into place. The stuff they have to overcome is "bad body language" and approach anxiety. While that may be true, that's not usually how it works.
What most guys don't expect is- this whole process, regardless of how long it takes, strips them down, exposes their deepest insecurities and forces them to tackle their issues before they have any sort of major, consistent, repeatable success.
This process [of self-improvement] to get pussy, causes EVERYTHING to surface.
Whether you like it or not.
Picking up women, being a player or whatever the fuck you want to call it causes nearly every and all your of psychological issues to surface.
Psychological issues include-
General anxiety, social anxiety, sexual anxiety, depression, nice guy syndrome, poor self-esteem, lack of social skills, emotional neediness, sexual neediness, past regrets, past 'failures', appearance issues, self-limiting denial, body image issues, general self-worth issues, insecurities about penis size, low confidence in your lifestyle, inability to manage time, low confidence in your career, bad relationships with friends, bad relationships with your parents, financial insecurities, work ethic issues, addiction to pornography, conflict in past relationships, perfectionist/obsessive compulsive behaviors, past physical or emotional (or sexual) abuse, religious self-conflict, negative view of women, self-loathing, past or current substance abuse problems, etc.
... it will all come to the surface, if you have it.
I literally thought of those 31 things in 5 minutes and 17 seconds. I could probably think of 50 more issues that I've seen if I took another 10 minutes.
There's honestly probably nothing that I haven't seen before.
Things like "I don't know what to say," and "low confidence" are simply a by-product one or more of the above.
It's okay though- that's what we're shooting for.
There's really no process that does strips your life down and raw quite like "Okay, I want to fuck lots of HOT chicks so teach me how..."
That's what it's supposed to do. That's what happened to me once I gave it a chance and that's how I design our program.
The issues will obviously vary from person to person.
Some of you guys are in for a fucking battle with yourself. We'll be there for you if you are willing to fight.
If nothing else- it's better to fight that battle than to slowly die on your fucking knees or live in pathetic denial.
This was never about girls anyway. This is about you. And You know it.
(in some cases it's just about the girls, some guys really have their shit together)
Believe me though- the HIGHEST HIGHS are way more significant than the LOWEST LOWS.
The good news is- these issues can be handled. Each and every one of them. I promise you. Sometimes they appear in bunches, but a lot of the time they appear as isolated issues that are part of a whole.
The better news is- you don't have to completely fix yourself to get lots of pussy. Ideally, you'll do both. I don't want to make this out to be any harder than it actually is. As I speak, 1000 of people are Get Laid, 1000 of girls are sucking dicks.
My attitude toward this is- understand, accept and embrace this challenge.
(just like in "Do What You Want > Don't Be Reactive")
This is really the only attitude you can have if you want to handle this shit as fast as possible.
The fourth step is to overcome it.
Most people simply "understand" their issues. That's about as far as they get.
More good news- again, you don't have to "master yourself" to get buckets of hot, wet, young pussy. God knows I haven't. But you will have to take care of a lot of it if you want to have regular success. When you begin to have success, that will handle a lot of it. Keep in mind that very, very, very few guys ever undertake and see through a process like this. This process isn't meant for everyone either. I used to think otherwise but some guys are actually better off sitting on the sidelines.
The official program isn't out just yet, but we have a HARDCORE and aggressive mindset so you don't have to spend another day, another minute, another minute- avoiding the issues that are limiting your potential in life. We take the necessary [baby] steps to handle the issues.
As an aside, I don't think that dealing with these issues before starting this process is a good approach, unless it involves some sort of MAJOR DEEP trauma.**
There's 2 reasons for this-
One, it probably won't get dealt with since avoidance is seems to be a common theme among guys that want to "fuck lots of HOT girls" later.
Two, beating these psychological issues involves direct, hands-on action and experience via baby steps in a structured environment. It seems that most psychological issues are dealt with by 'talking about it' and 'thinking about it,' to produce a temporary state of relief. It doesn't last. You will literally need to reprogram your brain and thought processes. Psychologists know this but most fail to design programs that do so. Some don't get it at all.
It will all come to the surface. Trust me. Remember- that's a good thing.
That's the first step to lasting change and endless results.
** I'm talking about a trauma that if you come to me- I send you to a doctor ASAP and we work together from there.
Now, obviously, I'm not a psychologist and I'm not a doctor. I'm not even a lawyer, I left my scholarship at Law School after 10 days. Even the best psychologists wouldn't know how to handle this stuff, unless they have legitimately had their fair share of hot, sweet, Los Angeles pussy.
I'm a 29 year-old KID with a lot of REAL life and sexual experience than meeting chicks that were not part of my social circles. I have largely put together the exact lifestyle that I wanted when I started taking my life seriously back in late 2006. Life is always a work in progress. There is no finish line.
I had to face a lot of issues that you wouldn't even know I had.
You can look back at the dating show I was on in 2002 "Chris on the Fifth Wheel, Age 21," and you'd still never know that you were looking a kid that was probably more insecure that 90% of guys on the planet. Even if I wasn't, I had a voice inside my head saying I was.
Without going through over my entire existence (GLL is about you, not me), let me highlight the issues that I especially had to deal with after I dealt with my "denial" issue.
If there is one thing in me that has absolutely, positively changed in me- it's this one. I used to be a very negative person. I got this one largely from my family while growing up. Most guys have this passed down from their parents, even if their parents are really successful people.
Focusing on the negative. What's wrong in the world. What's bad about something. What I did wrong. I accomplished _____, but... My life is good, but _____...
I was a very negative person and engaged in endless negative self-talk. I thought that "being hard on myself" was a good, productive thing. It's not. At least not in the way I did it. Then there were times that I didn't even know I was being negative. Either way, I had a disease that I was killing my success and attracting things I wanted to avoid.
This was a motherfucker to beat. It is probably my biggest accomplishment to date. Even moreso than banging well over 100 (usually real HOT) chicks. Seriously, I'm proud as fuck for this.
I have a hypersensitive negativity radar that gets set off so quickly now.
If I have some sort of undesirable thought go threw my head, I'll usually put a STOP to it immediately.
When I see an unhappy married couple arguing about some meaningless issue, I cringe.
Even if someone makes as seemingly harmless comment like "The weather outside sucks," or "The president (Bush/Obama/Whoever) is doing this wrong..." I hear it loud and clear and it goes in the trash bin inside my head.
I want no part of any bullshit I can't control. In fact, I want no part of any bullshit I can control, because I'll control it and fucking fix it. There's no use thinking about, dwelling on it and masturbating all over it.
There's a difference between being negative and realistic. Usually, only a positive person can tell that difference however. I should couldn't tell the difference when I was a negative thinking, bitter, unhappy, steroid time bomb.
Your thoughts determine how you feel. You can control your thoughts if you get a hold of them. Understand, accept, embrace and overcome it. Takes some time though.
Negativity manifests itself and slows down your process in several ways-
For one, it's easy to get down on yourself.
For two, it's easy to lose sight of why you are putting in the work- to have fun, regardless if it right now or later.
For three, negative thoughts that run rampant prevent your brain from processing positive and productive thoughts.
For four and least significantly, HOT chicks that I have a choice don't want to be around a negative, bitter person.
I haven't "mastered myself" or "mastered the universe," but this one I have well under control.
98% of the girls that I have slept with are super positive people. At least they seemed that way. Opposites do not attract in this case. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Insecurities About Looks and Body Image Issues
This was certainly a one of the main ones.
Since I have beat this one, I can certainly help guys dealing with the same issue.
Ironically, I was a lot "cuter" in my early 20's and didn't get anywhere near the amount of pussy I've gotten in the past 3.5 years. To put it bluntly, my appearance was basically all I [thought] I had going for me.
Perception is reality though.
My deep insecurities about my looks made it virtually impossible to talk to new girls since there was a chance I wasn't her "ideal" man (boy). Since I felt that my looks were the only thing I had, I was scared to death to put myself in a situation to think otherwise. Anytime I talked to a new girl, I seemingly put my entire life on the line.If she wasn't instantly madly attracted to me, I would doubt my entire life. Even if she was, I would still have no idea what to do. Even if I did, I wouldn't do it because there was a chance I'd "mess up" and start to doubt myself again.
I describe an incident like this in this thread "Chris and Laura the Redskins Cheerleader," situations like those repeated themselves over and over and over.
Eventually, I just settled over-and-over for "she thinks I'm hot," and wouldn't take things any further because I was so insecure and I felt so much satisfaction for a girl giving me validation. Part of it was immaturity, but most of it was because I was a complete fucking pussy.
Since I was in utter pathetic denial (and safely got just enough girls who approached me/social circles), I spent the majority of my life in the gym thinking that I needed to become more perfect. I eventually started abusing steroids to try to achieve this and ironically became way less attractive.
Major Issues and Conflict With Non-Supportive Friends
This issue was a by-product of a few things- nice guy syndrome, validation seeking (related to nice guy syndrome), my own out of control ego and in some (but definitely NOT all) cases- friends with their own major issues. I grew up in a highly competitive elitist town. Most of my friends thought I was a happy kid that had it all- security, looks, girls, athletic ability, smarts, 'it-factor'. While I had some degree of that- it wasn't what it needed to be to be the man I wanted to be.
Even from age 16, I was on a quest to be my very best even though I lived in denial about a lot of issues. Most of my friends weren't trying to further their lives- they were happy with their mediocrity or unhappy with their mediocrity but refused to take any real action to improve.
As I became more successful, this made for a lot of jealous people that were completely non-supportive and tried their very best to bring me down. Instead of immediately cutting ties with these people, I kept them around because I was a NICE loyal guy and seeking their validation. I would "get back" at people by stooping to their level and passively aggressively talking behind their back. All these behaviors severely stunted my growth as a man. When I moved out west in 2007, I basically stopped talking to anyone who was rooting against me. I was way better off and easily met new friends that were more successful and not intimidated by success.
If you have jealous people in your life that try to bring you down and don't want you to be 100% successful at everything you do, you might have to get rid of them and find cooler, more successful people. You owe them nothing. It doesn't matter how long they have been your "friend" if they don't treat you like one. Do yourself a favor so you don't get caught up in the bullshit. You should probably only hang out with successful people anyway. Success is contagious. And So is mediocrity. Stay away.
Remember- the people that try to bring you down are already below you. And They know it.
Real quick, think about it- if you have friends that are jealous of you now... just wait until you are banging 4 HOT girls on the regular. Think they are going to be happy for you? No fucking way. If you're going to really make changes and they are in your way, delete their phone numbers
To finish this one on a positive note- you are in total control of this. Sometimes it's harder to let go than hold on. But most of the time it isn't. :)
So those were three issues of many that I had to deal with.
Enough About Me
Again, the whole point of this is to let you know what may lie ahead.
Just know what you are signing on for.
My advice is to understand, accept, embrace and overcome the issues that pop up.
Be honest with yourself.
Truth is, you may not know what your issues are.
You might have more than you thought. You might have less.
You'll probably find out during two stages: when you are trying to are fuck girls and when you are fucking girls.
You don't have to be perfect, you just have to love (or like) yourself. Once you really do and build social freedom- you'll be a piece of fucking unbreakable steel.
It took me nearly 2 solid years, but I'm designing stuff to help people get there (or to their goals) much faster.
I have a really good understand of this shit.
Even after you are a "finished product" and have this "handled," getting HOT pussy provides wonderful motivation/distraction and gives you confidence to continue to do work on yourself and continue to improve in other areas of your life. Success is contagious.
Some guys don't want to become that top 1% guy, that's okay- just be honest with yourself and we'll help you with what you need. Happiness is the key to success, not the other way around. Some guys do though.
Remember- failure isn't an outcome, it's usually the result of not putting in enough work.
I don't want to scare people or make this seem any harder than it is. It's just getting pussy, but we both know that's usually only half the story. The fight is worthwhile. To win, you don't have to be perfect. You just have to believe in yourself. Your dreams are important.
I hope GoodLookingLoser.com challenges you and is a catalyst to the life you want.