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Everyone's starting point is different, the details of everyone's journey will vary, the roads/highways you take will be different and the total time invested will differ, the phases, however, are very similar and don't really vary too much. We recognize these phases and are building our main program to progress through them one-at-a-time, ideally- in the shortest time possible.
Lets talk about the VERY VERY beginning stage on the road to endless pussy.
Most guys don't start here. Many do, however, and don't recognize/know that they at this stage.
*Social Anxiety (A)
This is a stage that a minority of guys enter in.
It is CRITICAL to recognize if you are at this stage.
If you don't, you will not achieve your goals. I repeat- you WILL NOT achieve your goals.
This stage is evident by having a completely unreasonable amount of general anxiety and social anxiety. This is usually a sign of a medical problem and often requires treatment. I want guys at this stage to not be ashamed of this, it is NOT your fault. You likely have a genetic predisposition to anxiety that is often accelerated/activated by environmental factors (such as a negative interpretation/traumatic events in your childhood or teenage years). In short, even before your body senses a stimulus for danger, it activates a LARGE otherwise unnecessary flight or fight response.
Evidence of Moderate-Extreme Social Anxiety
Things like [or even the thought of things] the following that set off a involuntary fight or flight response is a sign of moderation-extreme social anxiety-
Going to a party, the thought of of going to a party
Talking to a stranger or meeting a new person (even in your own house)
Holding eye contact with people you don't know
Smiling (with your teeth showing) at people
Consciously (or unconsciously) modifying your lifestyle to avoid social situations AS MUCH as possible- avoiding social situations, going to the grocery store/mall when it's not busy and perhaps even picking a career that is as far away from human interaction as possible.
Again, I want you to understand that this phase is NOT your fault.
It is your fault if you don't take action, but it's not your fault that you are dealing with extreme social anxiety.
Many people, cooler than I, have achieved super-stardom and all their dreams throughout an ongoing fight with social anxiety-
Abe Lincoln Freed the Slaves
Gwen Stefani, Scott Weiland, Barbara Streisand, Janice Dickinson, Kate Bosworth, Albert Eistein, Kurt Cobain, Theodore Roosevelt, Bob Dylan, Carrie Underwood, Brad Pitt, David Letterman, Elvis Presley, Jim Carey. Johnny Carson, Julia Roberts, LADY GAGA, Lucille Ball, Nicole Kidman, Robert De Niro, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks and Abraham fuckin Lincoln.
There's no shame in having social anxiety.
Abraham Lincoln had it and he's cooler than you and I.
My Experience with Moderate Social Anxiety and Self-Inflicted Extreme Social Anxiety
While I didn't have extreme social phobia, I did have above average social anxiety that I had to overcome.
Interestingly enough, I actually know what debilitating social anxiety feels like- in my early 20's when I used to do significant amount of steroids and thyroid hormone (with Rx), it sometimes made me a total basketcase... I would literally run out of social situations and hide in my room. Sometimes, even the walk from my apartment to my car was rough, I felt (not actually thought) like there might be someone in the trees with a sniper rifle, looking to kill me.
I beat my social anxiety by talking to lots of chicks and people in general. While that worked, a structured approach would have been much more efficient and productive. Half the time I didn't even know if I was overcoming it because the same feelings of anxiety seemed to return. I also wasted time on the 'inner game' talks (that didn't call for action) from several authorities that told me stuff like "don't care what people think," "be yourself!" "be social," etc.
How We Can Help You / How You Can Help Yourself
Exposure therapy (baby steps for social [not approach] anxiety) can help this but only under certain conditions. There is a delicate line between adequate social tension/exposure to produce cognitive change and too much social tension/exposure that will make your life worse.
Trust me on this.
If throwing you into an exclusive Hollywood club by yourself on Friday night with models standing around basking in attention and considering and laughing about their absolutely unlimited options for sex worked- I'd do that... It DOES NOT work if you are legitimately at this stage. You don't need to be anywhere near those places if you are legitimately at this stage I am describing.
In order to help you, if you are at this stage, I may need your consent to work with your physician.
If I'm not involved in this process- talk to your physician, try remedy after remedy if you have to, try my suggestions for anti-anxiety compounds, ease yourself into the social anxiety drills (not yet publicly released) and have 1 weekly goal that you fulfill that is part of a bigger medium-term (6-8 month) goal.
My primary advice to you is- please keep an open mind.
Don't turn down solutions because "you don't want to take a pill," or "that's not me," or "I don't think that will help, so I won't even try."
You WILL have to new things throughout this journey. You WILL have to try new things if you want to beat social anxiety. Even though its not your fault- whatever you are currently doing IS NOT WORKING.
This is a serious, delicate stage.
Dropout rate is the HIGHEST at this stage, I'd say well over 80% quit before reaching the middle level of the next stage- Approach Anxiety.
I'd like to think it's because- the mainstream sucks Bathmate cock and simply doesn't understand the medical science, circumstances and can't design an effective program because the can't Get Laid themselves. Simply telling a guy to "go approach 1000 girls," is an asinine, unproductive and uneducated "solution," that's what GoodLookingLoser thinks.
Reading a book that provides theory and doesn't provide actionable steps, also seems pointless to me. You don't need to know the theory to beat social anxiety (or anything else). I'm sure there's books out there that are really good, written by accomplished people... still it's on you to fix it by taking action.
Either way, this, like all the mentioned stages- can be beat.
If you beat this stage, with or without medication, you should be extremely proud of yourself and it sets the table for you to start getting some results with women (if that is your goal).
Like approach anxiety, if it takes an entire year to beat social anxiety, it's worth it. It probably worth it if it takes 3 years. It won't take 3 years if you work hard though and have/take a structured approached. Unlike approach anxiety, I can't really give you a timetable since their are too many variables in play here. I can only guarantee you will beat it- if you REALLY want to.
Things That Can Trip You Up
First, as with all the stages, the main thing that will prevent you from beating social anxiety is quitting the process. The dropout rate is quite high, as I said, because a lot of guys with social anxiety have moderate depression. Social anxiety combined with sexual (and emotional) neediness is a recipe for depression. It sucks. But it can be fixed. Unrealistic expectations (thinking your going to beat extreme social anxiety in a single week*) can make guys quit. A lot of guys that quit, come back in a handful of months but are basically starting the process over again.
Second, not taking daily action, like most of the stages, is a way to ensure this process will move as slowly as possible. Initially our drills involve things like: talking to (not hitting on) a store clerk and asking a random person where they got their shirt. Stuff that is easy enough to do but stuff you wouldn't do otherwise. That chips away at your social anxiety. The problem with non-consistent action/effort is- you don't change your brain chemistry or progressively lessen the 'fight or flight' auto-response. If you have social anxiety (or approach anxiety) there is usually 20+ years of cognitive HARDWIRING that need to be changed. It doesn't change overnight and it doesn't change by going out one day a week and talking to people for 8 hours. A smaller, more consistent dose of exposure therapy is the way to go.
Third, not being honest with yourself (or us) is a recipe to stay at this stage for a lifetime. At this stage, there are specific drills/things you need to do in moderation to get past it. None of it involves, "okay go hit on 1000 girls," if you can't hit on 1 girl without freaking out. If that actually worked for guys with social anxiety- I've have you guys do that. Again, this is nothing to be ashamed of, circumstances in your life ARE what they ARE and WERE what they WERE. The only thing to be ashamed of is not asking for help when you need it and their are viable solutions. If I had debilitating social anxiety, I'd accept it and try every possible thing until I beat it. Being scared of the outside world is no way to live. Fix your social anxiety and you can be as fly as Abe Lincoln.
* There is a chance, however, to beat social anxiety in about a week or two if you respond well to medication. It goes away.
** guys that have depression also tend to fall into this category. You will NOT be able to pick up and fuck hot chicks if you are moderately/clinically depressed or have extreme social anxiety. Yes, there are guys that are depressed that sleep with hot girls, they already know how and don't have debilitating social anxiety.
Moderate-Extreme Social Anxiety and Moderate-Exereme Depression MUST be handled BEFORE you jump into this whole "i'm gonna fuck lots of hot pussy" game. If it isn't, you will dropout or scar yourself further.
You Have Beat This Stage When...
You can talk to people in social situations and you can feel fairly comfortable not talking to people in social situations. Your brain doesn't set off a dramatic fight or flight response to being in a social situation the thought of being in a social situation.
A few of the final drills include:
Eat at the mall alone and sit near a group of people. Don't leave until they leave.
Walk backwards in the mall for 3 minutes (you can look behind you).
Sit down in an elevator and ride it from the top floor to the bottom floor.
Talk to a store clerk who talks to you first and don't let her leave for about 60 seconds.
Go to a bar/club alone and stand in the middle of a dance floor completely by yourself for 10 minutes. Don't move.
If you can do those without your brain triggering a fight or flight response WHILE you are doing the drill- you are pretty much in the clear. You'll notice that you will get some degree of fight or flight (or adrenaline rush) before doing the drill, that is fine... it should go away within 30 seconds.
Adrenaline is fine, it's natural, it should go away...
Constant sweating, hyper/heavy ventilation, repeated adrenaline dumps without stimuli is not normal- that is what we are trying to fix with low/moderate constant exposure therapy.
If you still have moderate-extreme social anxiety, you won't be able to do those.
I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.