A No-Bullshit Guide To Martial Arts

By: Ethan X (Good Looking Fighter)

This comprehensive, well-written discussion was written by Ethan, a Good Looking Loser contributor.
The original post was on this thread in our Martial Arts Forum. I encourage you to leave your questions, comments, praise or hate mail there.

This article doesn't necessarily represent the viewpoints of Chris (Good Looking Loser).
I have no qualified view of Martial Arts, it's cool stuff that I know virtually nothing about.
I carry a semi-automatic gun and/or knife, where legal and when appropriate.
I did pick most of the images for this article though, some coming from one of my video games- Mortal Kombat.

Introduction
By Ethan X

I’m going to start off by saying that I don’t mean for this post to disrespect anyone or anyone’s preferred martial arts style. What I do want to do is give a realistic, no bullshit look at martial arts. I see guys all the time asking what kind of martial art they should learn. Most of the time when guys are asking this question it is because they want to learn how to take on another guy and win in a fight, not because they want to learn discipline or respect. Guys want to have a sense of confidence knowing that they can take care of themselves if they ever got into an altercation. So while there are other aspects to martial arts that can be beneficial (learning discipline, getting fitter, etc) I’m primarily going to be judging the following martial arts on their ass kicking potential.

I don’t pretend to be some expert on handing out beat downs, although I do have a long history in the martial arts and like to think that I am very objective with regards to the things that I learn, so I have no problem calling out bullshit when I see it. Again, I mean no disrespect to anyone, I just call it like I see it.

Before I really begin telling you what martial arts are bullshit and what martial arts are legit, I should probably give you some background about me-

• I’ve been involved in martial arts since I was very young.
• I am a former high school and college wrestler.
• I hold a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and am a certified instructor.
• I have studied Judo, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Krav Maga, and boxing.
• I have competed at a low level in local MMA.
• I also grew up in a pretty rough neighborhood and have been involved in numerous real fights and self defense situations.
• I witnessed my first stabbing at school when I was 12 and my second when I was 14.
• I myself have been attacked with a knife, and I can tell you that no matter how cool the Hollywood makes it look, there is nothing at all glamorous about defending yourself from one.

So while I may not be some guru, I do have a lot of practical experience, and I have thrown down on the street with both skilled and unskilled fighters.

Let me call out some bullshit straight out of the gate because I see people spreading it all the time.

It goes something like this-

“It doesn’t matter how big you are. It’s all about the training.”

These are the same people who say that looks don’t matter at all but haven't been getting laid.

Yeah, if you’re super smooth and really confident, an ugly not-as-good-looking dude can pull hot chicks and out game a good looking guy with ease.

But all things being equal, it’s better to be good looking than not.

In the same way, in a fight- it’s better to be the bigger and stronger guy.

Yes, if you’re really well trained, it’s possible for a smaller dude to take out a bigger dude. I’m positive a 155 pound wrestler who got to the Olympics could beat the shit out of an average 220 pound frat guy. But if that 220 pound frat guy was also a college level wrestler, now you’ve got a real fight on your hands, and there is a good possibility that the 155 pound Olympian is gonna get a beat down.

All things being equal, it’s better to be trained than not trained. And all things being equal, it’s better to be the bigger guy rather than the little guy in a fight. Anyone who says otherwise is full of…….. you guessed it……. BULLSHIT!!!

So here we go. This is a list of martial arts that are actually legit, and will actually teach you how to fight.

Legitimate Fighting Styles

Freestyle Wrestling
[Legit]

Western Wrestling started in ancient Greece. It was one of the original sports in the Olympics Games and today is a common sport offered at almost all high schools and colleges. I myself wrestled in high school and college. I can tell you for a fact that wrestling will help you in a fight. Western wrestling has the advantage of being a competitive sport meaning that after thousands of years of trial and error, only the best, most effective techniques that work against a real human being who is actually fighting back are taught.

A few of wrestling’s strengths are that it mimics certain aspects of a fight pretty well, while being relatively safe. The goal of wrestling is to get your opponent to the ground, and control them well enough to get them to their back and hold them there. Most real fights occur at the grappling range, and a good percentage of them do end up on the ground. Much of the time two guys going at it in a bar are just throwing themselves at each other with as much aggression as possible trying to hit the other person as hard as they can, so learning how to fight in close, take control of your opponent’s body, get them to the ground, and hold them down is a very useful skill.

Some limitations of wrestling are that its primary focus it to get someone to their back, not necessarily to submit them. It therefore doesn't actually teach you how to end a fight very effectively. Wrestling can also be dangerous if there is more than one opponent. You don't always want to take a fight to the ground. You never know if a guy has a knife on him or if his friends are ready to kick you in the head after you're on the ground.

Muay Thai
[Legit]

Even if, like Chris, you don't know much about fighting, you've probably still heard of "Muay Thai".

Muay Thai is basically kickboxing in which elbows and knees are also allowed.

If you are a real Muay Thai fighter, you’re carved out of wood. I don’t think I can really do justice to how tough these guys are.

Just watch this video. It speaks for itself.

Boxing
[Legit]

Boxing will teach you two things really well. How to throw a punch (important), and how to take a punch (more important). If you put a skilled boxer in a real street fight up against your average guy of the same size that doesn’t know anything, the boxer will win 18 out of 20 times.

Like I just said, boxing will teach you how to throw a punch, and how to take a punch. However there are some limitations to boxing, and some aspects that just don’t work on the street. Boxing has the positive aspect that it is a sport and therefore is rigorously tested in actual competion against an opponent who is fighting back. Certain strategy aspects of a 12 round boxing match however are unrealistic. In a real fight, there is hardly any strategy going on. It’s usually a violent engagement that lasts anywhere from five seconds to two minutes. There are just two people trying to land punches. Guys may square off and trying to gauge distance, but very rarely to guys actually use any real strategy like feinting, or rhythm, or energy conservation. Those things are fine in an athletic competition, but are sort of useless on the street. Boxing also doesn’t teach you how to fight on the ground or how to avoid getting taken to the ground by a wrestler, so if the fight ends up there, all your boxing skills are basically useless. That being said, boxing is a legitimate ass kicking skill, but you should probably learn some ground fighting as well.