Social Misconceptions About College -
Sluts, Social Mobility and Size
This is Part III in our series: "Academic and Social Misconceptions About College".
In Part II, we defined the "College Establishment - The Social Hierarchy", which ultimately defines how successful your college experience is with members of the opposite sex.
Everything revolves around The Pyramid.
There's no avoiding it.
You need to find your way to the Top 20% or otherwise you will be playing resident "pick up artist" with very low odds.
(if you are looking to nail attractive girls on a semi-regular basis)
It's important to understand the college social order - it is the basis for EVERYTHING in our college section.
Let's talk about some other social misconceptions and what the reality is.
Misconception: Nearly All/Most College Girls Are Sluts
It is certainly true that girls use their collegiate years, particularly "play stage" between freshman and sophomore year, to experiment with drugs, alcohol and their pussy.
They are away from their parents for the first time, judgmental hometown friends and the social order that they once knew.
Some just come to college to mend a less-than-stellar high school experience but some have aspirations of being seen as the Hot Girl among the most desirable males.
Despite new surroundings, their sexual prime and primal/intoxicated urges - most college girls will be extremely conscious with whom they share their vagina.
Like with college males, the females have a similar social pyramid and fucking (or accusations of) sharing their vagina with the wrong guy (or too many/too often) will send their stock south in a matter of hours.
Because of these social consequences, college girls, especially sorority girls and high-status independents - think long and hard about who they sleep with.
Many of them will measure popular opinion before they decide on it.
(this is done by simply asking other girls 'What do you think of Chris?' 'Do you know Chris, is he cool?')
Some girls who don't do their due diligence find out the hard way.
Eva Chapman was a Freshman when I transferred to Furman as a sophomore. From a sheltered family/small town in South Carolina, Eva was particularly curious to explore her body and see what it felt like to get drunk.
Rumor has it - Eva, one of the best looking girls in her Freshman class, hooked up with 2 soccer players during her first 10 days of college. Although these guys were both among the Top 20% of males and probably competitive against each other, Eva's reputation started to immediately plummet.
One night, I took her back to her dorm and we started messing around. She stopped me when I tried to remove her clothes (for whatever reason I wasn't scared like I usually was) and said that she was still a virgin. We messed around a little bit more and I left.
Someone on the soccer team saw me leaving her room.
On Monday, a rumor started that we had fucked.
Most guys congratulated me.
(Forgiving girls gave me a pass because as a transfer student, I 'couldn't have known' that she was the Freshman slut)
Everyone shamed her.
It was the 3rd person she supposedly fucked and we hadn't even gotten to Labor Day weekend.
Although we never had sex (and she likely didn't with the soccer players), Eva would pay the price. She was denied from every single sorority, despite being nothing short of gorgeous and down to earth. Unless she transferred, her college social experience promised to be nothing but horrible. Even the guys made her life hell and would leave condoms wrappers outside of her dorm room. Eva couldn't transfer because she was on scholarship. She got involved with several of the Christian groups at Furman and I never saw her at a party again.
For every Eva, there's always several more Eva's that find out the hard way during Freshman year. Some of these girls don't even take their clothes off.
Despite the 'several more' Eva's, there's THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of girls that watch and guard their social reputation as if their life depended on it. After the first semester of Freshman year, they guard it even more carefully. Some won't even walk around campus with a guy that is not equal to or more attractive/cool than they are.
The worst thing a girl can be - is a slut.
(or assumed to be)
Although some women want to blame guys for branding sexually-active girls with the 'slut mark' of shame, the truth is - girl-to-girl gossip is mainly to blame.
Popular girls, especially those in sororities who have influence in the community, are social opportunists and welcome the chance to bury potential competition by attaching the 'slut' label.
Most guys don't like sleeping with supposed "sluts" - even though it doesn't usually hurt their reputation. Easy girls just aren't considered as valuable as other girls that keep their pussies tighter/out of the news.
The last thing a college girl wants is to get pregnant or an STD. That is the ultimate slut-tag and sign of damaged goods.
(for this reason, even in the club scene I haven't been overly concerned with getting an STD. I always use protection. Attractive, popular, reputation-conscious girls aren't usually the ones that have STDs. Call me naive but it's largely true.)
Despite the notion that "College Girls Are Sluts," the college establishment and social consequences forbids them from being as sexually-active as most would like to be.
There are certainly some girls that will fuck 2 guys at the same time or go home with a guy (without being certain of his place on the pyramid), but these girls become less-and-less after the first 2-3 months of school.
(Spring break, however, is a time where girls can have sex/blow with random guys and not face social penalties - so long as the guy is decent looking)
(Halloween, also, is a socially acceptable time for girls to dress like total prostitutes)
Unfortunately, this is what makes it difficult for Independent (non-frat) minorities to hook up with popular or attractive girls.
YOU NEED TO BE PART OF THE TOP 20%.
Misconception: Significant Social Mobility is Possible for Most Guys
It's a misconception that most guys in the Bottom 80% can ascend to the Top 20% by simply "meeting" more people or "being social".
Social groups and cliques begin to close very quickly during Freshman year.
At about 5-6 months - these groups aren't accepting too many new applications and these groups will remain exclusive for 4 years.
While it is certainly possible to become more popular, social mobility into the College Bourgeoisie (Top 20%) is generally limited to only the Top 10-20% of the Bottom 80%.
Some of these guys are "on the bubble" and can put themselves into the Top 20% by rushing a cool fraternity, MAXING out their looks, becoming a notable "friend of fraternity" or securing a Wildcard.
For most guys who reside in the Middle or Bottom 80%, however, will have to deliberately ditch their generally supportive friends in the Bottom 80% and commit to raising their status.
For some, it's worth it.
For others, they simply end up as "Frat Rejects" or "Pick On's" (see Pyramid in Part II) and remain in the Bottom 80% without dignity or real friends.
As loosely discussed, the way to rewrite your college status into the Top 20% is to -
- Rush a cool fraternity (usually one where you ALREADY know some of the brothers).
- Secure a Wildcard. (Johnny McBartender, Johnny McBottles, Drug Dealer-joke, etc.)
- Become a legitimate party boy when you turn 21 or can secure alcohol.
- Become a college level athlete.
In some situations, losing weight and becoming a Good Looking Independent is possible or you might get lucky with your apartment search and end up living with some guys in the Top 20% that take you in. Starting (not just joining) a student club might also net some new friends but doesn't guarantee any sort of nightlife/party scene life. Finding a non-bar/club based Summer job can also provide a chance to ascend. Johnny McBartender is the way to do it if you are 21 and don't want to join a fraternity.
Overall, while plausible, these scenarios are quite rare.
Most students that begin among the bottom - stay there for 4+ years.
It can be tough out there.
When I transferred to Furman University in 2003, I was very friendly to everyone.
One fraternity, Beta Theta Pi, was particularly cordial to me. They helped me find my classes, made sure I was happy, introduced me to others, always invited me to hang out or grab food.
Sometime into my 2nd month, the fraternity president, Jon, told me [something like] -
Chris - we like you. I know that you probably fit in elsewhere, but you are always welcome to chill with us or come by the house. We aren't the cool kids* but we are genuine guys.
If you decide to rush Sigma Nu or Tau Kappa Epsilon (the cool frats), we won't hold it against you. They both want you too. Just don't totally forget us and know that the door is always open. Not many guys like you (Good Looking Independents) want any part of our thing and we understand. No hard feelings. We won't bother you or try to talk to you on campus.
* they were stereotyped as "Star Wars Losers" by all the other fraternities and high-status independents
Jon knew that I couldn't be seen with him if I wanted to become part of the in-crowd at Furman.
He was very frank about it and knew how the Establishment worked and where he stood in the College Order.
It was hard to tell him, "No, I can't be friends with you. Sorry."
It was hard to sit there and listen to my new fraternity brothers rip on them and talk about how little Jon and his crew got laid.
It was only after I got kicked out of Tau Kappa Epsilon that I realized that Jon and his geek squad were probably the only real kids at the entire school.
(obviously I don't like the "system" but it is what it is and I'm teaching you how to beat/own it)
As my college career continued, I met plenty of other kids like Jon at Santa Fe CC and Florida. I made a point of staying friends with them.
As much as I cared, at the time, about being popular and liked, I vowed never to make it at anyone's expense or hurt anyone's feelings if they were nice to me.
Call me a nice guy.
Misconception: All Colleges Are the Same (Social Aspects)
In terms of Hierarchy (Pyramid), 4-year colleges and universities are basically the same.
(Community colleges and commuter schools have a less-definite structure or no structure at all)
It's the same Order as in the real world.
A select 20% 'in-crowd' and the 'creepers' or 'randos' (as popular girls call them) in the Bottom 80%.
However, after going to 8 colleges (only 6 as a full-time student), there is 2 very pronounced social differences between small and large universities.
Good Looking Independents Have Access to Popular Sorority Girls At Small Schools
At small schools, there's a higher percentage of Good Looking Independents that have social success. Breaking in (aka being noticed) is easier too. Everyone knows each other.
When I arrived at Furman (less than 1800 undergraduates), everyone noticed me in about 3 weeks. I was an unlisted Wildcard "Impact Transfer Student" for a good year or so.
(I barely used it to my advantage, I'm an idiot)
At large schools, the social hierarchy is well-established and you almost HAVE TO join a fraternity to get access to exclusive organized parties and popular girls until you start going to bars when you turn 21.
Unless you are good looking with great social skills, I highly suggest you join a fraternity if you go to a school with more than 6,000 undergraduates.
(you will still benefit from joining a fraternity)
It is super easy to get lost at a big school where Athletes, Frat Stars, select Frat Boys/Good Looking Independents and a few Party Boys are locked-in as the Top 20%.
If you are a transfer student, at any school, I suggest you join a fraternity.
Social Opportunity and Student Culture Can Vary Significantly
Not every school is full of wild partying or even weekly partying. Nor is every student body quite the same.
Especially at the smaller schools.
Large Public State Universities vs. Small Private Universities (Social Opportunity)
At large public universities such as the University of Maryland and the University of Florida - there is a fair amount of partying, drinking and social/sexual opportunities on just about every night of the week. Excluding Sunday nights, usually. The places are always the same but you will meet new people.
At small private universities, usually those with a distinct religious sect such as Furman and Pepperdine, a lot of kids DO NOT PARTY.
While there will always be a percentage of students at small schools that party, the "party scene" can get old. Really fast. You literally may see the same 100 kids every weekend. At smaller schools in medium-sized cities, there will be 2 nights a week where "something is going on". That something isn't guaranteed to be any fun.
At Pepperdine (and several other schools), the male and female students are on separate ends of the campus and there are rules about how late a male and female can be in each other's dorm rooms.
(with that said, one of the most beautiful girls I've slept with went to Pepperdine and loved to come to my apartment to get loose)
It is IMPERATIVE that you know about "rules" like this BEFORE you enroll.
Schools that have these types of restrictions generally attract a very polarized student body and has enormous social consequences (mainly for girls) for stepping out of line.
Large Public State Universities vs. Small Private Universities (Culture, Social Influence)
The culture and student body can vary between universities.
Large universities tend to have a more "normal" or current culture that doesn't have a polarized/archaic administration or student body. There's always a significant frat/partying scene and people that are into all sorts of things.
At small colleges - it varies.
Some student bodies differed significantly.
In my experience - the male student body varies the most.
At Emory, where there is no football team or any Division I sports, there were a lot of very feminine guys that wore extra-small shirts and took limos to go get their eyebrows waxed on Sunday. They voted for John Kerry.
(it's a Long Island thing, I guess)
At Furman, "The Country Club of the South", guys were very 'traditional' and would go to church and watch Nascar on Sunday. They voted for George W. Bush.
A lot of Southern Gentlemen that looked like this -
In terms of White people in America - polar opposites.
At Emory, their were a lot of Jewish students - over 30% actually.
Furman, which had a large amount of Southern Baptists, had a total of ONE Jewish student. He was referred to as "THE JEW" and was a frat pick-on.
In both situations, the students were very cliquey.
I don't blame religion for that - it's just the nature of the college scene, Pyramid and what happens when hundreds of kids with identical backgrounds leave home, live with each other and look for security. In a lot of ways, I was the same.
If you have a problem with kids who come from wealthy families - you are better off at a large public university where there will be more socioeconomic diversity.
It is IMPERATIVE that you have a feel for a university's culture BEFORE you enroll.
Especially if you are considering a small, private school.
The hundreds of girls I met at each school were largely the same though. They wanted to be pretty, be in the news, have fun, cook up gossip/drama to make life more interesting, do well in school and not be [regarded as] a slut.
Pretty simple life overall.
At Emory, a lot of the party girls had aspirations to go to graduate school and become professionals. At Furman, a lot of the party girls were looking for husbands.
Still, both groups of party girls would sleep with guys if they had equal or higher status, if they could earn social points and avoid the 'slut' label. Even at Furman.
Again, this section only applies to 4-year universities - not community colleges where the vast majority of students don't see each other outside of school or even speak to each other.
We'll continue this discussion of Social Misconceptions About College in Part IV where we dig deep into the Fraternity and Sorority scenes -
If you guys have questions about a particular school (chances are I've been there - haha), post it below.
I can probably tell you exactly what to expect.