Introduction and Academic Misconceptions About College
This discussion might be a bit controversial. Use at your own risk.
There is nothing below that represents LEGAL or MEDICAL advice, or the substitute thereof. Consider it strictly entertainment.
Welcome to our "Misconceptions About College" series.
Losers & Assorted Douchebags -
At some point I will release an official guide to college.
Not just about getting laid.
Academics, making friends, parties, greek life, athletics, drugs, hidden campus resources, right down to cheating on tests and in-depth legal (or not illegal) tactics to claim minority status for scholarship purposes.
That's right - THE DIRTY.
- Who are YOU to write such a guide?
I'm Chris, I went to college for ~7 years.
In fact, I went to 8 different colleges (not full-time at all of them) -
- Emory University (Top 20 overall, Ivy Reject School, 7,500 undergrads)
- University of Maryland (Home state school, 26,500 undergrads)
~ Famous Alumni: RooshV
- Furman University (Country Club of the South, 2,700 undergrads)
- Santa Fe Community College (FL) (Junior College - How Far I Had Fallen!)
- University of Florida (Graduate, Scholarship Warrington School of Business, Manga Cum Laude, 33,000 undergrads)
- University of San Diego School of Law (Was Top 40 Law School When I Applied, Left in about 10 days, Scholarship)
- * Cal State - Long Beach (Summer classes 2005)
- *Montgomery College (Summer classes 2002)
fun fact: Which college girls has Chris slept with the most? (UCLA)
- Okay, big deal - you went to a bunch of schools because you clearly had some weird psychological problem, why would I want to turn out like you?
(this is a reasonable question)
I paid over $90,000 in taxes last year (not all Good Looking Loser). Including $16,000 (13,000 federal, 3,000 state) every 3 months.
(I'm doing alright)
I can trick hot girls into liking me.
(that's what people say anyway)
I have a genuine interest in helping guys in their 20's that want help. My 20's weren't what they should have been and I had no one to help me.
Also - despite my decade of self-professed underachievement aka "Good Looking Loser", I was actually pretty successful at a few of the schools (Emory, Furman). But was as lonely and isolated as could be at some other places (Maryland, Santa Fe CC).
I've seen it all.
Life as a naive, hopeful incoming freshman.
Life as a FOUR-TIME, here-we-go-again, depressed transfer student.
Life as a first-year Law School student.
(I left the school - but still went to the parties. Hah. What a fucking loser.)
Breaking into social circles, only to leave them behind.
Getting kicked out of the fraternity.
Amazing spring breaks that literally bring tears to my eyes.
Spring Breaks all alone in my room while inserting my friends' names on XBox football rosters because I missed them.
Athletics and steroids.
Inline Hockey National Championship. (state non-college team, but I'm still proud of it)
Racism and male pattern baldness.
The endless comfort of being an over-privileged kid. The endless silent guilt of wasting my father's money.
Admittedly, despite streaky college success, a fair amount of my advice comes to you in HINDSIGHT.
This is different than the "pick up" and "party scene" advice that I give - which ALL comes from years of total hardcore experience.
I could claim to have been the "Big Man On Campus" at a major university - but I wasn't.
While achieving "my potential" with women came well after college - I spent ~7 years in college in 4(?) different majors, at 8 different schools - in almost every dynamic possible.
Back then, I was never 1/100th of what I currently am today - but what I experience in the Los Angeles party (and at times - pick up) scene-
I know exactly what I'd do if I went back.
(Good Looking Loser, Class of 2019?)
Based on that introduction, you might assume that my college experience was off-the-fuckin-chain - IT WASN'T.
I'm just an above-average writer.
In fact, for me, college was largely uneventful... at least compared to what it was cracked up to be/could have been.
My lack of social achievement (nice word for SEX LIFE) in college was the reason I became so obsessed with "pick up".
And like I said in "30 Things I Wish I Knew In My Twenties" (Part III, #22) -
"Everything Happens For a Reason and It's All MY FAULT."
To my close college friends who read this - this should not marginalize the time we shared. My feelings about myself and "the system" in no way represent our friendship. I am truly thankful for you guys.
Let's talk about some of the misconceptions about college.
Academic Misconceptions About College
(Social Misconceptions will begin in Part II)
Misconception: A College Degree Ensures Security
(Good Starting Job and Long-Term Income)
Alright, lets get the boring ones out of the way.
If you've swallowed the Red Pill then you already know this.
Maybe you want to hear it from me.
Having a not-so-respected major will eventually get a job that is slightly over the minimum starting salary.
(getting a job is a numbers game - even though I've never had a full-time job)
Having an not-so-respected major doesn't guarantee anything. Whatsoever.
For example, someone who majors in Business - Finance will almost always get a better starting job than someone who majors in Business-Administration (General).
Majors such as "Criminal Justice", "Sociology" or "Liberal Arts" will likely land public-sectors jobs that are nearly equivalent to full-time minimum wage jobs, if any.
Becoming a professional (Doctor, Lawyer, etc.), however, will ensure some degree of long-term stability, provided YOU NEVER LEAVE the discipline and provided that you pay off the $80,000+ in college loans that you owe and get your license to work.
Obviously there are exceptions to these rules.
The truly intelligent Doctors, Lawyers, Criminal Justice and History majors become business owners or drug dealers.
All bets are off at that point.
What's more, most people WILL NEVER EVEN USE (or need) their college degree for their eventual career.
My friend, our new web-designer, says that he can name TWO PEOPLE out of over 100 that he went to college/high school with that is currently employed within the same "field" that their degree promised career opportunities.
Something to think about.
Misconception: What You Are Taught In College Is Mad Useful
Hear me out-
What you are taught in college is largely worthless and pointless. Just like high school. Some pre-professional studies (biology, accounting, etc.), however, do build fundamentals that you are required to master.
College is largely a capitalist tool that ensures that young men and women get into debt and must immediately become part of the skilled workforce after college. Creating and maintaining a system of credit and debt among the working middle class, especially the young and able, is the backbone of capitalism.
Corporations or the state can pay young adults low salaries and low wages relative to senior employees of equal or lesser skill.
Anything that you need to know for a job - you will hear over-and-over in "training".
With that said-
What you learn in college can be useful.
There will be a few things you will pick up from various classes, a few insightful professors, networking skills, self-discipline and social skills that might serve you quite well. You will also get to be around kids your age in a mostly warm environment - which is a big deal.
Remember - often the alternative to college is often living at home with a minimum wage job or army enlistment.
Both of which can offer more than a few of the unintentionally learned skills above.
Misconception: College Is Harder (and More Work) Than High School.
I went to quite a few universities so I can make this call.
In general, college is easier and less work than high school.
Large universities (20,000+ undergraduates) especially. You have a handful of papers and tests.
For most, it will take you just 48 hours to prepare - so long as you've taken decent notes and shown up for most of the classes. The upper-level classes are a different story however.
Small schools, however, can be equally or slightly harder than high school. In fact, small liberal arts colleges are basically high schools.
The teachers take attendance and know you by name. It's harder to cheat in small classes too.
The Ivy League* and more prestigious universities such as Emory, University of Chicago, Stanford, Washington University in St. Louis, Wake Forest and Davidson - will be harder than high school.
I recommend going to a BIG, PUBLIC, LESS EXPENSIVE COLLEGE (Florida, Arizona State, North Carolina, Texas) and not a strictly-academic institution unless they pay you for it.
* I didn't go to an Ivy, but I had over 40 friends who did. Yes, 40+. Winston Churchill High School produces a ton of "blue-chip" academic prospects. My Ivy friends studied all the time and became undersexed alcoholics on the weekends. Most are still living that life. Even the girls.
Misconception: Cheating Only Happens In High School
I don't know who believes that cheating doesn't happen in higher education... but I have a story to tell.
Admittedly, I don't know how well monitored this decade of students are.
Maybe universities are catching cheaters while filming to catch terrorists.
When I was in college (2001-2007), I cheated on just about every test.
Yep - NEARLY EVERY ONE.
(I'll show you what I did - use at your own risk)
That doesn't mean I didn't study - I did. Usually harder than 90% of the other kids. I worked my ass off actually.
I just wanted to ensure I got the highest grade I could get.
I graduated with a 3.71 GPA, with honors.
Also, students in 2001-2007 saw the rise of the Internet.
Resourceful students, aka Good Looking Loser, would use it to his every advantage on any written paper deemed necessary.
(I'm a decent writer so I never straight up cut and paste shit)
The administration was behind the times and didn't know how to police it.
These days I suspect it's WAY DIFFERENT.
I will assume, however, that the student body will always stay 2-3 years ahead of the administration. I guarantee it.
If some of you guys have a ethical problem with me cheating on tests - that's fine.
I'm not going to try and change your mind.
Just acknowledge that - I could have left out this part.
Better yet - I could paint a portrait that I am a squeaky-clean-by-the-book-undersized-disadvantaged-overachiever who's only dream was to go to Notre Dame.
(hopefully you get that reference - see pictures below)
I'm not. I am what I am.
By Any Means Necessary.
Help Those Who Need Help.
Keep it real.
Misconception: You Can't Undo a Lousy GPA for Your First Job
Even the most Blue Pill folks know that college GPA only counts toward your first attempt at employment.
Nobody cares after that.
From what I know, it doesn't even have to count toward your first attempt at employment.
Case in point -
She "graduated" with a 2.3 GPA in a shitty major from a shitty overpriced Florida private college that is more known for it's cocaine problem than academics.
She walked into a $112,000 job.
She called it too.
Ericka is absolutely stunning, a 10 on everyone's scale and she knows how to dress like a business women and speak the part. She knows how to network with alumni, follow up and charm.
(I used to masturbate to Ericka - she went to my high school)
Before you dismiss her as simply a genetically gifted princess getting her way, I will point out that - there are A TON of hot girls that graduate with a sub 2.5 GPA that end up as lifelong cocktail waitress because they don't even try for good jobs.
(they make good fuckbuddies in their early 20's)
What's more, my friend Ross (not Rooster on the forum), graduated with an even worse GPA from the same school. He even got kicked out a semester.
He managed to secure a leadership position that paid him over $90,000. (verified)
My other friends (just off the top of my head) - Daniel, Sarah Jodi, Keith (RIP), Brandon C., Matt, Jessica S., Brandon Mc. and Ali Shaw were all in similar positions and used their presence, respective alumni networks, eager follow ups, persistence (hunger) and EVERY CONNECTION AND SEMI-CONNECTION THEY HAD to land better first interviews and gigs than a lot of my friends that graduated Ivy League Schools.
Most of the names mentioned were little whores in college and probably learned some form of professional networking that way.
Good for them. Really.
The point is - a lousy GPA doesn't even have to affect ANYTHING - let alone your first job.
According to some of my friends, some employers didn't even ask about it.
Misconception: You Have To Be a Minority -- To Apply as a Minority
Use this at your own risk.
(this is not legal or academic advice)
This completely fictional information is based on the application process to Law School (2006-2007) and case studies that I had my lawyer research.
This is what we found-
On every admissions application, for any level of education, there is a section where you are prompted [but not required] to self-report your race/ethnicity [that you most identify with].
Legally speaking, "self-reporting the race you [think you] most identify with" leaves a tremendous opening in these surveys.
Generally speaking, it looks like this -
(sometimes there's blank to fill in next to 'other')
But on graduate applications, it's more specific and it looks like this -
What's the difference?
The first survey has the term "Native American".
The second, more specific survey, lists this as "American Indian" or "Alaska Native", a specific type of Native American.
THIS IS NOT A MATTER OF SEMANTICS.
Nor a mistake.
"American Indians" who are part of an organized tribe (and often live on/near reservations), have government issued tribe cards that formally indicates their nationality.
Native Americans, such as Native Hawaiian Americans or other non "Indian" tribes, do not. They don't have cards. They aren't considered "Indians".
Most universities (most Ivy League schools, for example) are only looking for "card carrying" American Indians. They don't want you if you don't have the badge.
Several universities told me that on the phone.
Other schools, however, are more relaxed on their requirements and leave the term "Native American" up for self-report with no card required.
Considering the loose "self-report" prompt and lack of "proof" needed to show that you are a Native American...
I went ahead and checked "Native American" on all the applications that listed that option.
I got accepted at nearly ALL the schools where I was a [x] Native American and got scholarships to several of them too. Not one of them asked me for proof. Ever.
According to my lawyer, universities would absolutely avoid investigating your "actual race"; they can get sued and get BAD PUBLICITY.
Listen to this guys-
Good Looking Lawyer said that - in the mid 90's, Harvard Law School investigated a 100% white kid who self-reported as an [x] African-American - when he applied to undergrad.
The kid was temporarily suspended for a period of 2 or 3 weeks in the middle of the semester.
His parents (the Dad was an attorney too) fought back immediately and threatened to sue the school for over $1 million dollars and damages.
The kid claimed he felt he "best identified with African-Americans," and just answered the question [that supposedly had no impact on his admission prospects] as stated and it wasn't his fault that the school gave him a [fucking] scholarship.
Under advice of their attorneys, Harvard immediately lifted the suspension, settled with the family for several hundred thousand dollars and this kid transferred to wherever his father graduated from.
I searched long and far for this story and couldn't find anything.
But there won't be any formal documents if there wasn't a lawsuit - especially from the mid '90s.
If you have any information or links to verify/disprove this story. Tell me.
My lawyer's point was that LAW SCHOOL ADMISSIONS - WILL NOT GO THERE. It's too big of a risk. Besides, it's "self-report" and there's nothing actually legally binding. He was sure of it.
He also said that the Bar (who does background checks on all new counsel) is unlikely to question this either - for similar reasons.
He advised that this type of thing may not apply to Medical School admission however. You need to do an interview for Med. School and the issue may arise.
I can tell you, in my experience, Law Schools that should have outright rejected me gave me admission and money when I self-reported as a Native American.
My LSAT was a fucking lousy 158. (not scholarship material as a white boy - ANYWHERE GOOD)
I'm not telling you to do this.
Remember - this is all entertainment.
But I sure look Hawaiian, don't I?
(I also wrote entrance essays about how the United States is illegally occupying Hawaii and how islanders have a right to self-determination)
Should I Go To College?
This decision largely rests on your alternatives or lack thereof.
For most, the alternatives would be to find a minimum wage job or join the army. Trade schools and 2-year non-university programs, that offer absolutely no social life, aren't exactly tight butthole either.
For those in those circumstances - I suggest going to a LARGE, AFFORDABLE, PUBLIC INSTITUTION, that has Division I football (tell you why later), where you can get IN-STATE tuition or a scholarship.
The University of Florida is the best deal in the country. In-state tuition is just over $6000 A YEAR. If you go to high school in Florida and take it semi-seriously - you can get a "Bright Futures" automatic grant and go to college for nearly nothing.
If you aren't scholarship material or you want to leave your state and go to a LARGE, AFFORDABLE PUBLIC INSTITUTION- you can do it, but you have to be resourceful (very few kids with low GPAs are).
Hint - a lot of major public universities have "deals" with their community college system and state requirements to admit their graduates.
- If you graduate from Santa Fe Community College (FL) - you are legally GUARANTEED entrance to at least the University of Florida, Florida State, UNF, UCF or USF.
Even private institutions have these "hush hush" deals too, sometimes to simply feed diversity statistics to receive Federal funding:
- If you graduate from little known "Oxford College" in Atlanta GA. - you are ALMOST GUARANTEED entrance to Emory University, an elite university, at least on paper.
(Oxford is a historically Black school - so don't ride up in that piece if you're not colored)
CALL AROUND. ASK QUESTIONS.
You can end up at an awesome out-of-state LARGE, AFFORDABLE PUBLIC INSTITUTION for FREE if you apply yourself.
In general, if you are out-of-state, this is how you would do it-
- You would go to the community college/feeder school for 2 years. Consider self-reporting as a minority or homosexual.
- You would get in-state residency and tuition at the end of your 1st year, get good grades, suck up to teachers (for recommendation letters) and the obese but under-appreciated ladies in the registrar.
- You would earn an "AA Degree" (Associate of Arts, not Approach Anxiety) in your 2nd year.
- You would apply for ALL of the community college transfer scholarships/grants/endowments to the major university in the Spring of your 2nd year. Send a picture of yourself.
That is unintentionally what I did. I got a transfer (merit-based) scholarship (and 4.0 GPA) and went to Florida for free.
Community college is way fucking easy. I didn't cheat on most of the tests.
In a forum poll that was active for a very short time, responding to question -
"Is College Worth It? YES or NO."
(Based on YOUR College Experience)
Good Looking Loser Members felt -
Interestingly enough, in a similar poll from early 2012 in the old defunct forum that asked -
"Is College a Scam?" YES or NO."
(Based on YOUR College Experience)
Good Looking Loser Members voted ~65% to ~35% in favor of "YES - SCAM".
(sorry, no screenshot available)
Like most things in life, it largely comes down to your financial circumstances and the viable alternatives.
Okay, we got the boring but necessary Academic Misconceptions Bullshit out of the way.
Hopefully it was useful or at least interesting. Someday, I'm going to make more of an effort to get this in front of kids (of age) that are considering college.
Social Misconceptions in Part II will be more fun.
I'd be happy to read your opinions about "College -- Is It Worth It?" or "College -- Is It a Scam?".
Make sure you have ALREADY GONE TO COLLEGE before you chime in.