Player Mentality

Some guys have asked me recently- What goes through my head when I hit on (screen) a hot chick?

First off, the stuff that went on in my mind changed quite a bit from when I started this stuff back in 2006.

At first, it was "I hope she likes me," and all those "damn, I hope this goes okay..." thoughts.

Come late 2009 and 2010 (and today), the voice in my head says significantly different things.

Sunday Schedule/Conversation (Numbers Game)

Toward the middle of 2009, I would make a 'weekly list' of the stuff I want to do, basically a plan for the week.

In Los Angeles, without a full-time job, it's easy to sleep the entire day and wake up at 2pm.

I found it helpful to plan out my entire week- just so I could make sure I got stuff done.

The weekly plans included the times I was working, going to the gym, meeting up with friends, meeting up with certain chicks and all the other stuff I could put a time on.

I was no longer doing "mega-sessions" where I would approach 20 chicks and then take several days off. I was hitting on girls everyday. I had recently come to understand that "Being a Player is a Lifestyle, It's Something You Are, Not Something You Do".

So, my weekly schedule never said "Hit on Girls" during any specific interval of time.

I hadn't "discovered" screening in Summer 2009 and was basically running a fairly confident version of "Mr. Funny Man" game. I was pretty good at it. Still, obviously, the problem with that is- half the time I was talking to a sexually unavailable girl and I didn't even know it. It made for lots of "dates" too. Still, I was getting SOME results and I was happy with my progress, even though I wasn't satisfied with where I was at.

On my schedule, was an estimate of how many girls I was going to hit on and rough lowest percentages of the new girls that would become a part of my life and hopefully soon by in my bed. I just put these percentages together in my head (no official data or anything) based on the lowest odds or the least amount of girls that I could possibly go out with taking into the trends I'd seen lately (~35 phone numbers/100 Internet girls). (20 phone numbers/50 in-field girls) My results usually slightly exceeded my percent guesstimates.

On my agenda (related to picking up girls) was:

1) Hit on 50 girls, ask all of them for a phone number (throughout the week)

2) Hit on 100 girls on the Internet with a cut and paste message, ask all of them for a phone number (only on Sunday and Monday afternoon)

Total = Hit on 150 girls

1) of the 50 in field girls = I'd probably get 15-20 phone numbers (35-40%). Of the 15-20 numbers, I wouldn't hear from 5-10 girls (they were probably sexually unavailable, even though I didn't know it). Of the remaining 10-15, I'd be able to get 40% of them out 6-8 girls. Due to time constraints, I'd pick the hottest/most available 3 or 4 to set up "dates" with. I'd bang half of them (2 girls) within 4 weeks and lose the other half along the way (2 girls). 2 girls remain

2) of the 100 Internet girls, 40% wouldn't reply (didn't like my profile, inactive account, didn't like my cut and paste, etc.) and I'd engage 60 girls. 40% of the girls would disappear have a message or two (24 girls). Of the remaining 24 girls, half would give me their number (12 girls). 33% of the girls wouldn't answer my text (4 girls), of the remaining 8 girls, I would get 4 to 6 on the phone and able to meet up. Again, I'd bang 33% of them (1-2 girls) within 4 weeks and lose the remaining girls all the way(4 or 5). 1 or 2 girls remain

Again, this was before the period (October 2009-beyond) when I started banging girls same-day, same-night, 1-2 dates, over and over. Of the girls I "lost along the way," it was mainly (~80%) because they wanted boyfriends (especially the online girls) and I was being too aggressive once we got on a date. Obviously, had I screened them up front, this wouldn't have happened - they would Get Lost immediately.

So I could count on have 3 to 4 new girls as part of my life and likely to have sex with in the next 0 to 4 weeks.

That number seemed low, but still- I already had 2 fuck buddies and by these numbers, I might have at least a couple more by the end of the month. That kept me motivated.

I realized- If I hit on 50 chicks in the field and 100 online that week. I could AT LEAST get 1 fuckbuddy out of it, probably more (with a month or so).

I kept this in mind when I went out or if I got bored with hitting on chicks online.

Not one approached seemed to matter that much, each and every number was just part of plan that would award me 1 or 2 fuckbuddies.

I repeated this type of thing until late August 2009, I had 4 regular bedbuddies by then.

I think this type of thing helped me keep stuff in perspective.

To me, it was like: DO THIS (50 + 100) and YOU'LL GET THIS (1-2 fuckbuddies in at least 4 weeks)

(even though no girl as was ever guaranteed).

Sundays were a bit of a reflection period too.

I'd look on Facebook at the girls that met in Los Angeles, I flipped through my phone book, I used to write down the names and description of the girls I met in my "black book" (it was a binder), I'd flip through my own Facebook pictures and look at the compliments that girls had left me through the years, I'd look through my journal that I had been keeping too, I'd also try to line up a meet up on Sunday night. I also thought about the girls I was probably going to hang out with that week. I just wanted to remind myself that even though I hadn't gotten the [amount of] success I wanted, that I did get a fair amount of girls and women, in general- liked me.

Now, this was partially out of insecurity, but either way, I needed all the love I could give myself and a positive mindset going into the upcoming week. I had to remind myself that "I could do this" and my success wasn't luck, it was a conscious effort to play the numbers game and a RESULT of me having a plan and executing. That's empowering.

Overtime, this helped me build a legit abundance mentality (I have a tattoo on my chest).

*Hitting on 50 girls was a little lower than early that year since I was getting some pussy and was going on about 3 dates a week, with 3 different chicks. Mid 2009 was the period of time just before I figured out how to screen girls which really brought me insane results. Again, during this period I ended up on a lot of dates where I didn't get laid because I wasn't too aggressive when I met girls. But it was definitely progress and I was enjoying having regular women in my life even though I wasn't banging all of them.

The "Sunday Schedule/Mentality," has stuck with me to THIS DAY. It just reminds me that it's a numbers game. If I want a new fuckbuddy just had to hit on _ number of girls until it happens. This is the attitude that all the "naturals" have that Get Laid a lot.

If I want to Get Laid I have to hit on X amount of girls.

Sunday Conversation/Mentality Video

Here's a video below about how I approached "the game" when I was learning.

I'm not going to tell you what or how to think about this one... I'm just going to talk about it... you might pick up stuff that doesn't occur to me but triggers something related to your own thought processes. Everyone feels different stuff when they are thinking about meeting women.

What Goes Through My Head When I See A Hot Chick

Now let me tell you about what goes through my mind when I see a hot chick (when I'm sexually available and wanting to approach).

Again, I'm not going to tell you what or how to think about this one... I'm just going to talk about it... you might pick up stuff that doesn't occur to me but triggers something related to your own thought processes. Everyone feels different stuff when they are actually out there hitting on girls.

This comes from my mindset TODAY, not back in Summer 2009 where the previous discussion was from.

It's far different than back 4-5 year ago.

I don't consciously think this stuff, it's pretty much natural... sometimes I do though.

A lot of it was built from my Sunday insights in Mid 2009. Numbers game.

The newer element is screening.

So the mentality is a combination of numbers and screening.

In short, what goes through my head when I approach any single girl is-

These are among the thoughts that go through my head when a hot chick crosses my field of vision.

These thoughts are all much more empowering than "I hope she likes me," "What can I do to make her speak to me?" "etc.," that bullshit.

if you aren't thinking thoughts or similar ones that I mentioned and you are stuck on "uh oh..." or "i hope this goes well.... then take TIME OUT. Literally take TIME OUT and stare at the girl.

Think to yourself... what do I really know about this girl?

The answer is nothing. You know nothing.

You might think you know, but you really don't. I never do. I never can tell. Sometimes I think I do, but usually its at least slightly different than I think.

You don't know if she'd make the IDEAL girlfriend or if she's a train wreck waiting to happen or an emotionally unhealthy bitch. You have no idea. You have no idea if she's good in bed. You have no idea if she is virgin or she has more experience than every girl in a 10-mile radius.

When I see a girl, I approach and screen out of curiosity- Where is she in her life right now?

Another thing to consider- I don't see much reason to convince a girl of anything.

I am what I am. She is what she is.

Lets see if she is want I am.

Most of the time the interaction has already been decided. It is what it is.∏

The girl is either sexually available or she's not- at that exact moment in time.

That has nothing to do with me.

It has largely nothing to do with you if you can approach in a semi-confident manner and have made the effort to maximize your looks, body and style- you'll be attractive enough to at least 90% of girls.

If you haven't- do it.

I almost guarantee that nearly every girl that you approach has banged a guy worse looking and less cool than you.

If you screen her out, its because she isn't available at that specific moment in time.

A lot of guys haven't built a "tolerance to beauty," they look at some girls like they some sort of superior ALIEN creature.

They are humans. Nothing more, nothing less. They all have the same needs as we. They all want some degree of love, money and respect. They need food and shelter to survive. Just like us. They might want sex, but that's something we need to find out.

If I hit on 10 girls on any given day or night, when I touch them I think- "Now you are going to show me your true colors. I'm going to find out where you are RIGHT NOW in your life." I'm curious which one will HIT. Maybe she'll surprise me.

I've hit on 1000s of girls and I never really know what I'm walking into. That's part of fun after you beat approach anxiety.

It's a numbers game, I'm gonna play it until I win.

Example: Look at the scenario below-

Can you pick out the sexually available girl? Can you pick out the coolest girl? Can you pick out the horny girl?

Neither can I.

But if I hit on them. I will find out-

Well what do ya know... 16 girls, at least one of them wanted sex. And It was one of the hot ones. Go figure.