If you've spent time around the Good Looking Loser community, you'll know that I "teach" something called "screening".
In short, it is our approach to Getting laid.
Instead of relying on jokes, dialogue and techniques to convince girls to "like you," you simply go around making normal, sometimes flirtatious conversation, with women and touch them in the process.
The women that are "sexually available" will respond positively (or neutrally) and the ones that aren't will leave the interaction.
There are number of reasons why is this the best way to Get Laid.
These reasons include, but are not limited to-
- You never are "working on" girls and you will know very quickly whether a girl is interested or not.
- Get Laid (meeting women) is a numbers game, screening cuts through the bullshit in a matter of minutes (usually, seconds).
- There is usually way less approach anxiety because you are approaching women for sex and not trying to get them to "like you," in which guys tend to feel more vulnerable.
- By simply touching a girl, she'll know that you are a player and not some nice guy pussy boy/funny man pick up artist.
- You develop a RAW NATURAL MASCULINITY along the way. You aren't using techniques to "communicate you are an alpha male".
- Once you are comfortable/realize that the verbal dialogue is hardly part of the equation, your mind frees up and you can easily make small talk/say whatever you want.
Again, our approach to screening to primarily to- Get Laid.
It is not to "meet women" "avoid rejection" "make her laugh!" "get the girl!" "make her think you are interesting" or impress anyone.
Check out every other dating site if you think those mindsets are more masculine.
For most guys- the very concept of screening is a 180 from anything they have thought or done before.
It was for me and I usually get credit for "inventing" it.
Most of us are used to making jokes, acting out rehearsed "routines" and various other techniques where the goal is to impress the girl and convince her to like you or grant you the permission to continue to speak to her.
So, like anything else in life, that you have just gotten started with- it will take a while to fully internalize.
You'll just have to go through the motions in the meantime. That's fine, that's exposure therapy, that's how it's done.
The following discussion covers things that you WILL DO or WILL EVENTUALLY DO to internalize screening and make it authentic.
Like everything else, these insights come from my experience. Some insights were conscious, others are in hindsight.
I don't necessarily suggest that you "try to" do these, but rather- just keep them in mind and judge your progression on them from time to time. If you are noticing that some of these aspects are becoming your reality, you are on the right track. These might also shed insight on why you aren't "getting it" and help point you in the right direction.
By no means to you "need" all of these to be your reality to Get Laid over-and-over-and-over, more likely- you'll be Getting Laid over-and-over-and-over as you work on them.
While these may seem unique to "screening," these will apply to any type of "game" or approach you take. These are universal and the guys that have them succeed at a high level.
When Does Screening Become Authentic?
I could go on at-length about all of these, but I won't- I'll just finger the surface.
#1 You Look Good. (And You Know It)
Looking hot and knowing it is arguably the most important one.
Looks + Style = Sex Appeal.
Notice I said "look good" and not "good looking," being good looking certainly helps, but simply looking good (in-shape, cool, masculine) will give nearly every guy 'above-average' standing with most of society and meet or exceed the 'looks threshold' of majority of sexually-available girls.
Being able to walk into a bar and knowing "these guys aren't as hot as I am" is big.
As narcissistic and superficial as that sounds- that's reality.
If you are in the process of getting together or MAX'ing out your looks and style- it will take your brain a little while to catch up to the impact that your presence is having. If you have never had a life where girls or friends tell you "[name] thinks your hot" or "[name] thinks your cute," you'll probably have to hear or be told that 50-100 times before you actually believe it.
#2 You're Cooler That Most of the Chicks You Talk To.
(And Both of You Know It)
For the analytical guys out there- YOUR COOLNESS should be equal/more than HER HOTNESS.
Remember how I mentioned- when I talk to girls I know I'm cooler than they are?
While it didn't always used to be this way- it's gotten to that point.
Developing a cool vibe, isn't necessarily predicated on developing a cool lifestyle. I know a bunch of guys that do nothing but do cocaine and have sex with really hot girls. They aren't well-traveled, well-spoken or even interesting. They just don't give a shit, which instantly sets them ahead of 90% of guys in that category.
#3 You Are Part of or Near to the 'Top 10%' of Guys.
We throw around the concept of "Top 10%" a lot here.
It's usually focused on the aspects of- Looks, Style, Social Freedom and (Coolness).
You can be in the the Top 10% simply by having 1 or 2 of those aspects down. You don't need to have all 4.
Ideally- you do though.
Guys that have above-average Looks, Style, Social Freedom and Coolness are among the top 1% or 2%. It's rare.
Remember, the average guy has- average looks, virtually no standout style, doesn't talk to random girls and is pretty boring, just like his friends It doesn't take that much to eclipse Mr. Average.
Differing slightly from #1 and #2, it is very important that you are ACTUALLY IN (or around) the Top 10%.
Even if you believe you are a highly desirable man, if the rest of the universe doesn't- then are AREN'T.
In various self-improvement/'pick up girls" communities there is the belief that "as long as you believe that you're awesome/look good/good with women, than you are." That's complete bullshit.
#4 You Will TRULY Not Be Looking for Validation.
Though the aspects are above may be just slightly more important to building a 'screening mindset', this one was BY FAR the most crucial for me.
Screening is not for guys that are looking for validation. It is for guys that want to Get Laid.
Seeking validation is one of the main reasons that guys continue to have a "I hope she likes me..." validation-based mindset. They are just looking to feel better about themselves in the safest way possible and turning to the opposite sex for that.
There's a number of ways to get past this, one of the biggest ways is to simply get your validation, get bored with it and move on to better things, such as- Getting Laid.
#5 You Have Gained LEGITIMATE Experience.
I like to think my blog can change people's lives. Sometimes it can.
But the changes don't happen when you are reading it or watching the videos. Regardless of how inspired you may be.
The changes happen when you are applying (or attempting to apply) the stuff you read.
Like ANY skill or mindset that you are trying to learn, you will have to replace the existing thought patterns with new ones. Some of the thought patterns are pretty stubborn and hardwired from decades of reinforcement.
Screening is no different.
Specifically, you will not adopt screening to your lifestyle unless you legitimately try to work on it in REAL LIFE and retrain your brain to screen instead of acting submissively.
From that you will gain experience. (exposure therapy)
Learning without experience is not learning.
That is what we call "reading".
#6 You Have Above-Average Self Esteem.
Having good self-esteem almost goes without saying and is a significant aspect to the concepts above.
This will be a battle for some guys but just about everything on GoodLookingLoser.com will increase your self esteem so long as you are able make it a priority and see the job through.
At the end of the day, you are going to have to believe in yourself in order to authentically screen girls to be a part of your life.
Starting to believing in yourself, like self-esteem, can be achieved and increased by setting SMALL GOALS and achieving them ONE BY ONE until you reach your BIG GOAL.
Eventually, hopefully, you will realize that taking women back from bars isn't super hard and other challenges will seem much more daunting.
#7 You Will Be Comfortable To Express Yourself Physically.
While screening is a mindset and not a technique, if it were a technique, it will go something like this-
TOUCH THE GIRL
(is she IN or OUT?)
Though its easy to understand this concept, it can be hard to apply it with complete indifference.
In order to become comfortable with being physical up front, you will have to see it WORK and NOT WORK as part of a variety of predictable responses that women will give you.
#8 You Will Get Bored of Phone Numbers, Dates and Talking to Women.
Similar to getting past the need for validation, getting bored of the "results" that you are getting is generally a phase along the way to developing a screening mindset.
Getting bored of the phone numbers, text threads, dates, interactions that go absolutely nowhere can light a fire under you that makes you get more aggressive.
Remember- Getting Laid is an ALL OR NOTHING thing.
You either fuck the girl, or you don't.
Some people (that read other dating sites) give themselves points for makeouts, phone numbers, jokes that make girls laugh and compliments they receive.
It's all meaningless if you aren't a total beginner.
#9 You Will Know What (Who) You Are Looking For.
Some guys are unable to even begin to develop a screening mindset because they aren't actually looking for a girl to have sex with.
They are usually just looking for a girl that will be nice to them that they think they can "work on".
If you are truly LOOKING TO GET LAID, your mentality and actions will be different.
There will be two categories of girls- sexually available girls and sexually unavailable girls.
Whether the girls are nice, mean, extroverted, introverted, happy, sad, funny, boring, etc. won't even come into play.
It's nice to find an exciting, cool girl to sleep with - but if your goal is simply get ass, you won't stand there and talk to her if it's not gonna happen. Likewise, you won't be upset if a girl is rude to you. It's all the same.
#10 Everything Will Seem Predictable.
With experience, you'll come to see all the "various predictable responses" that you can possibly get.
That's good to see when you are trying to beat approach anxiety and it's also good for authentically screening. You won't be afraid to touch girls because you already know how the girl is going to react. Even if you get a negative reaction, you'll know that nothing bad ever happens.
#11 You'll Truly Believe It Is a Numbers Game.
Most of you guys know that Getting Laid is a numbers game.
Only about half of you guys really believe it though.
How do I know this?
The simple fact that most guys say they want to Get Laid but only talk to 10 or less girls in a week and ask what they are doing wrong.
First- once you truly believe it's a numbers game, the only stories you tell as the ones where you Get Laid. It's the only stories you even remember. The rest is a blur.
Second- once you truly believe it's a numbers game, you'll know that it's only a matter of time before you Get Laid. It's not a matter of IF or WHO, it's a WHEN.
Stop recording your "sets" like you are some fucking PUA statistician. Go outside and play.
#12 You'll Know that Girls That React Negatively Have Issues.
(and you don't take it personally)
So long as you aren't being a total creep, when are girl reacts negatively- it's her that has the problem.
This takes most guys a long time to realize and believe this. After all, guys are used to blaming themselves when people are mean to them.
I've hit on 5000+ girls, the women that reacted fairly positively when I spoke to them were generally happy campers throughout our relationship.
I've even slept with girls that initially gave me a negative reaction (or displayed negative behavior sometime soon after).
For the most part- these girls had problems. These "problems" would become more and more apparent as our "relationship" progressed.
I'm so hyper-aware of this now I often don't call girls back that displayed the slightest hint of "bitch" behavior (to me or anyone else) when I met them.
Emotionally healthy people who don't have problems aren't mean to strangers.
Emotionally unhealthy people who do have problems are mean to strangers.
It has nothing to do with you.
Screening is REALLY effective/authentic when you have your own "bitch shield," in fact- you can't get much more authentic than that.
#12 You Will Experience Success (aka Get Laid).
Success will make you internalize screening.
All that you know, or think you know, won't be internalized until you begin to have success with it.
It is only via success (results) that you are truly believe in what you are doing, how it works and that you making it happen.
This isn't unlike any skill/mindset that you are working on. You need to have success to truly believe it.
Success, though I strictly focus on Getting Laid, will actually come in bits and pieces. There will be moments when you experience something, process (and hopefully act on it) in a way that reflects a "me first" screening mentality.
Like I say- the numbers game is to your advantage, you have UNLIMITED tries and you can only get better, since exposure therapy and taking action makes you better.
When evaluating your process, if ever, it best to reflect in monthly (or longer) intervals and use the days and weeks to simply PUT IN THE TIME.
At the end of the day, I'd love for everyone of you guys to develop a screening mindset, some certainly will.
But all that matters is that you are happy with life and that you are Getting Laid (if that is your goal).