Rejection Looks Like This

In general, ~60% of the time when you hit on girls on your level or slightly above/slightly below - you will be "rejected".

The man gives a girl a bouquet of roses. The girl refuses.These rejections take 4 major forms - none of which is the horror scenario that inexperienced guys think "rejection" will be.

This discussion details what accounts for nearly ~100% of 'rejections' when you hit on girls with what I call "Basic Guy Game".

"Basic Guy" is simple stuff that any guy can do so long as he has his approach anxiety under control.

It's not an aggressive, 'Get Laid' or "Screening" type approach to picking up girls since it doesn't involve that much physical stuff - but it's much easier and you don't have to think about anything.

Verbally, it's "direct" so it still does screen out the chicks that aren't available, and more importantly- SCREEN IN the chicks that are available and potentially DTF.

Basic Guy Game is the what you will be doing starting at Week 7 of the Approach Anxiety Program - when approaching girls and hitting on them in this Basic manner will be easier than the drills.

This is the type of IN and OUT "game" that I did for the entire "If I Approach 100 Girls - Will I Get Laid?" project.

It works like this-

LOOK GOOD and -

+Along the way - you can sit down with the girl to chat.
(grab her hand and say "let's chat" "lets sit down for a second" and start walking)

But this is not necessary and is usually a bit too aggressive for most guys at this stage.

Here's two examples of Basic Guy Game:

Despite it's simplicity - don't think that you can't get 3-4+ fuckbuddies from doing this.

Especially if you have established the lifestyle factors that are significant for retention.

The guys that are "naturals" and Get Laid the most do this type of thing when they aren't hitting up girls in their party circles.

Just like any type of "game", when it "works" it's because the girl is AVAILABLE, you talked to her and she considers you cool enough and physically attractive enough (looks threshold) to potentially sleep with.

When it doesn't "work" it's because she wasn't available and/or one of those criteria (fundamentals) needs to be improved.

If you are above-average looking, rejection is almost always a matter of a lack of sexual availability rather than a lack of sex appeal.

If you aren't, rejection will largely be from a lack of sex appeal from just about all the girls that are more attractive or your equal.

GET IT HANDLED - LOOK AS GOOD AS YOU CAN.

Super Important Discussions

Basic Guy - Basic Rejections

In general, your "Basic Guy" conversations will last 3-7 minutes long and will end when you excuse yourself while asking for the girl's number.

Basic Guy Game gets you in the habit of asking every girl for her number - something that may be quite difficult if you've been playing it safe and only continuing interactions if a girl gives near-immediate approval.

OBVIOUSLY you won't get every girl's digits - but if you are following my advice, you'll never wonder what the outcome would have been.

Once you get used to "Basic Guy Game" (and look above-average) you can pretty much expect-
(with girls equal, slightly above, slightly below)

* Remember this is for "Basic Guy Game" and not "Screening" where you will Get Laid AND rejected more often.

These numbers will vary and I explain WHY and EXACTLY what kind of percentages you can expect in this post.

There's 4 predictable rejections that cover just about 100% of what you will experience doing direct, assertive, not-super-aggressive "Basic Guy Game".

  1. "Maybe Compatible - Not Available" (mostly friendly, ~5 minutes) ~30+%
  2. "Compatible - Not Available" (very friendly, 7+ minutes) ~30%
  3. "Not Compatible - Not Available" (aloof, less than 5 minutes) ~30%
  4. "Not Compatible - Not Available" (impolite, less than 2 minutes) <10%

* again - BASIC GUY GAME with good fundamentals, including sex appeal and social freedom. Things change when you are more aggressive.

Basic Guy Rejection #1 (30+%)
"Maybe Compatible - Not Available"
(Mostly Friendly; Usually about 5 minutes)

Common Rejection #1 (Begins at 1:29)

* This is the cologne she compliments me on - just as this girl did.

This is what most Basic Guy "rejections" look like once you look good and get comfortable with the process.

The girl is friendly, seemingly available, but decides for one reason or another - that she can't give you her number.

Depending on the dynamic, sometimes she will excuse herself (like in the video) or sometimes just politely remove herself from the interaction and become busy with something else in the nearby area.

While some would argue that "talking to them longer" would make them more comfortable - the vast majority of women are cool giving their number to a guy - if she is available and thinks he is physically attractive.

There's a million reasons this could happen.
(if your sex appeal is above-average, that is usually not the reason)

She might have actually been interested too but unknown circumstances discourage her from following through.

Just 3 hours ago one of the girls I live with was complaining that "she was an idiot" for not giving a guy that she liked her number when he talked to her in the food court. It's common.

Most common reasons:

Basic Guy Rejection #2 (30%)
"Compatible - Not Available"
(Very Friendly; Longer, 7 minutes or more)

Common Rejection #2 (Begins at 7:02)

This is similar to the first example but the interaction tends go longer, often the girl will ask you questions and will even introduce herself.

In a lot of cases, these girls are interested but not single. Under different circumstances they wouldn't hesitate to give you their number.

While some people say that "all girls are looking to cheat" or "girls always keep several guys as backups", this is definitely not the majority of women in committed relationships. While girls who aren't single still like the attention - they will usually not give a guy their number because it makes them feel slutty - even if they are somewhat indecisive about their current significant other. Obviously their are some exceptions.

If you wanted to take the number of a girl that claims to have a boyfriend you can insist-

"That's cool, we'll be friends now, maybe when we are both single one day, we can get to know each other."
(make her part of your mass text list to which you message "hey sexy" every couple weeks")

I didn't do that in the video and I never really push the issue because it's simply not a good use of time.

Once you get yourself looking good - there's plenty of single girls out there that will sleep with you; "working on" a girl in a relationship is usually a complete waste of time. Half the time they are just looking for attention, the other half they still aren't super serious about cheating - unless they pick up your phone calls.

Most common reasons:

Basic Guy Rejection #3 (30%)
"Not Compatible - Not Available"
(Aloof; Short, 5 minutes or less)

Common Rejection #3 (Begins at 12:08)

This type of "rejection" is noticeably shorter and quicker than the first two examples.

The girl isn't necessarily "mean" or "a bitch" (that RARELY happens if you aren't being aggressive or rude), she is just aloof and not very engaging. Short one-word answers, not asking the basic small talk questions back and not looking at you.

If you put significant social pressure on her (see video: smile technique, lets have a chat - grab and drag to table) she'll comply because girls rarely run into a guy that they can't get rid of easily. Eventually they will bail, but usually with a semi-polite excuse.

For some guys - this makes up the bulk of their rejections.

For some guys - this makes up only 1 in 3 of their rejections.

The difference between the groups is almost always - SEX APPEAL and MASCULINITY.
(after all - THAT is what makes girls wet)

If this type of result makes up the majority of your interactions - your problem is a lack of SEX APPEAL and not "game"/anything else.

Provided your sex appeal is above-average, there is generally NOTHING you or anyone else can do change the outcome. The outcome to the approach was likely decided long before you ever set eyes on the girl - she is simply NOT AVAILABLE.

Remember- just about all the girls that "reject" you weren't unavailable in the first place.
(again, provided that your fundamentals are tight)

Some would argue that there are "maybe girls" that are "on the fence" about meeting you - whom you can "win" over.

That is true to a certain extent, but those girls fit in the 1st category "MAYBE COMPATIBLE - UNAVAILABLE" and not the "NOT COMPATIBLE - NOT AVAILABLE" 3rd category.

Most common reasons:

Basic Guy Rejection #4 (<10%)
"Not Compatible - Not Available"
(Impolite, 2 minutes or less)

Common Rejection #4 (Begins at 14:28)

This is by far the least common type of rejection, especially for Basic Guy Game and anything less aggressive.

It's even the least common type even when you become more aggressive.

The main thing that differs between this and the prior type of rejection-

In this case, girls WILL NOT follow your lead at all.

Unlike the prior video, the girl wouldn't let me lead her to sit down or even comply with basic small talk.

She's not necessarily 'more rude', she's just not letting herself go through the motions, not open to conversation and sometimes not even open to smiling. Often they don't stand still and try to wiggle and sneak away. Just let them go.

Even with this "rejection", the girls generally aren't mean, totally bitchy or confrontational.

They are just impolite or rude, at worst.

Who Does This Happen [A Lot] To?

Although there are definitely some mentally unstable girls out there, if this is happening a lot (more than once every 10+ total girls you talk to), than it is an appearance issue on your end.

Most girls people are nice and they'll talk to you, even if they aren't available.

From my time around the pick up community (2008-2009) - the guys that have this happen to them a lot are generally wearing outdated clothes that don't fit them correctly.

In addition, having a "style" that reminds EVERYONE of a serial killer, terrorist, neighborhood prowler or some other type of sex offender will do it too. Chest hair, nose hair, body odor, bad skin, crooked teeth, missing teeth, terrible posture, dirty clothing (piss stains), poorly styled/unkempt hair can do it to. Both Scotty and I have seen all that stuff among mainstream students.

Fix those things IMMEDIATELY.
(and do not use meth)

If you don't look at least somewhat sexually active, you will be seen as a CREEPER.

With that said, you can expect one of these every so often and it won't have anything to do with how you look or what you said.

Like I said, girls can be weird and some of them simply don't play along.

But again, this ISN'T BAD - there's no confrontation, name calling or verbal sparing - the girl simply wants to leave for whatever reason.

And again - if you've done your job to look hot - then there's a 100% chance she's the freak.

Argument

When You Leave Without Trying - That Is Not Rejection

Some guys have a 5th type of common rejection that wasn't represented in the video.

Basically, they stop trying to talk to the girl and leave.

I don't consider this "rejection" - I consider this LEAVING.

I'm not talking about scenarios where you've interacted (both physically and verbally) with a girl who is clearly not into it - I'm talking about leaving in 60 or 90 seconds without even trying.

Don't expect the girl to carry the interaction or even meet you 50/50.

For the first couple minutes - be prepared to do 90%+ of the talking and 100% of the leading.

It'll usually be something closer to 70/30, but don't walk off if it's not.

If she is shy, awkward, preoccupied, inexperienced or intimidated by you - she isn't going to speak too much.

Don't mistake this for disinterest.

Plenty of good looking guys interpret initial 'shyness' as disinterest and walk off wondering what they did wrong or if they weren't hot enough.

Shopping woman

Fake Phone Numbers and Flakes?

As per standard definition, fake phone numbers aren't considered 'rejections'.

So we don't have them in that category.

While all the usual "highest-level" cold-approach averages and numbers (60% rejection, only sleep with 5-9 girls of 100, etc.) are representative of myself - I actually don't get that many fake numbers. Usually over 2 of 3 are legit. A 'real' number, however, doesn't means I'll see the girl again.

I never quite knew why I didn't get that many dead numbers or "flakes" as others claim - it might have to do with doing the majority of this stuff in Los Angeles (friendly girls) and generally setting off somewhat interested and/or 'good guy' thing.

Closing Thoughts

That makes up nearly all the rejections you'll see from basic approaching.

A lot of them will fit between categories.

Notice that none of these examples, in my opinion, was the girl an outright bitch.

THAT RARELY HAPPENS - and certainly not part of the 90% that these example encompass.

What IS COMMON is -

Guys will walk away and call it a rejection.

I don't usually walk until I've made a solid attempt at making small talk with the girl.

They are often just shy, especially if they are young and also like you.

Hot girls can be shy because they don't think they look particularly good at that moment in time. (gym, best example)

That is why we INSIST that you only leave after you've asked for the girl's number or she leaves.

Get in the habit of doing that.

Once you are comfortable with that, you'll be better able to trust your instincts and know which girls you should spend your time talking to.

In the meantime and until the day you die (or get murdered) - it's a number's game and HOW YOU LOOK (not your "game") is the biggest element in sexual attraction.

As always, drop your thoughts (and short questions) below.

Longer questions will receive better responses in the forum.