"Screening" Mindset vs. "I Hope She Likes Me" Mindset
A post on the forum motivated me to discuss something that everyone ultimately must internalize if they are going to really be successful at picking up chicks. It's especially necessary to bang the the hottest chicks.
This might really be a breakthrough for most guys.
It was for me, even though I didn't realize it at the time.
Here's the audio of Mr. Pussy Inspector. An extended version of this post.
This is the mentality that takes you from average to great-
You won't hear anything like this anywhere else (it's long but it might just change your life):
My success with chicks went from average (bang a girl every once in a while -> sleeping with 3-4 HOT girls regularly) and my approach anxiety virtually vanished once I "got" it and really started doing it. I also used the "Get Laid or Get Lost," mentality on every chick I talked to. It took about 7 weeks; I was going out most nights of the week though.
It's a paradigm shift that you must have if you are going to be elite. It's a mentality that separates those who are above-average and those who are great. It's a mentality that separates the guys who Get Laid once in a while, and the guys who have 4 or 5 chicks to call for sex and blowjobs.
It's called the "Screening Mentality".
This is NOT 'qualifying' a girl. Qualifying is a technique.
Screening is not a technique. It is a mindset.
There's very few guys and even fewer PUA gurus that legitimately have and live this mentality.
It goes like this-
When you approach a girl, you are LEGITIMATELY trying [screening] to see if the chick is cool enough to chill with you.
This is a complete shift from the approach mindset of "I hope she likes me" mentality that 98% of guys have.
Most guys walk up to hot chicks with these kind of thoughts in their head, "I hope she likes me," "I hope she likes my lines," "Hopefully she thinks this is funny," "I hope she isn't mean to me," "I hope I don't fuck up," or "Let me just get her talking, then maybe I'll show her I'm interested."
That was the type of crap that's in my head for years.
After gaining a lot of field experience, hanging out with some guys that got a lot of grade A pussy and banging some girls myself- my mentality changed. It changed a lot. I had met a lot of hot chicks. Some were cool, some were lame, some loved their life, some hated their life, some were surprisingly really awesome and some were surprisingly really disappointing.
They were just a bunch of girls, they were basically all the same. To some degree they all wanted to look good, have friends, be cool, have fun, feel respected and feel loved. Some more than others. I've been with a wide range of hot chicks too. Introverted models, rocker girls, fitness girls, creative girls, druggie girls, smart girls and dumb blondes. They are all the same, with variations in their appearance and how they expressed themselves (personality).
If they were HOT, that stuff didn't really matter unless I was considering a relationship with one of them.
If I wanted to Get Laid, I needed to find a girl that was down to fuck.
So why on earth was I walking up to girls and trying to "get them to like me," "get them to laugh," or "get them to talk"?
I needed to figure out who wanted to bang me.
So instead of running this "I hope she likes this line/joke" game I started screening to see which girls were sexually available.
Instead of finding out which girls liked my lines and jokes, I started finding out which girls were sexually available and down to fuck.
Slowly, I realized I didn't really care if they didn't like my game. That wasn't the goal anymore.
The goal was to screen her and if she was cool and down to fuck.
That took away my approach anxiety. No longer did I try to impress girls. No longer did I care if they liked or didn't like my game. I wasn't a standup comedian anymore. I was a player that 'just wanted ass'.
I was screening girls instead of them screening me. I was in a position of power.
I felt instantly cooler too. I wasn't like the guys who didn't think they deserve to screen and test girls. One night, I met this SMOKING hot model chick named Angelique, and she told me, "You actually think you're cooler than me. Like you actually think that." I said, "I'm cooler than you and you know it." Later that night, Ms. Angelique was laying in my bed screaming so loud with pleasure that my neighbors knocked on the door to tell her to settle down, or for me to go easier on her.
It's a totally different game when you start screening girls. Chicks think "who the fuck does this guy think he is?" Chicks try to impress you. Chicks respond to you differently. There's no such thing as rejection in the regular 'she didn't like me' :( boo-hoo sense. You are the coolest person in the room. And most importantly, you Get Laid a lot more.
All the guys I know that can get the quality and quantity we get- screen girls.
All the guys I know that underachieve- let girls screen them.
I don't bring up celebrities a lot, but: Do you think Tommy Lee lets girls screen him? Or does Tommy Lee screen girls? Do you think Tommy Lee "hopes the chick likes him?" Or does Tommy Lee "hopes he likes the chick?"
Scotty says, "You're an inspector, walk up to a chick to see what she's like."
Go be an inspector. Go screen that pussy.
Mr. Funny Man vs. Mr. Pussy Inspector
I used to work as Mr. Funny Man. The job wasn't great, the work was kinda hard and the pay wasn't good.
Mr. Pussy Inspector is a way better paying job and the work is more fun.
It may take a while to go from Mr. Funny Man to Mr. Pussy Inspector. You won't be used to it for a while. Do it. Do it again. Do it until you wake up one morning (with a chick beside you) and realize that you aren't Mr. Funny Man anymore. Then have her open her mouth and blow a load down her throat. Then go out into the world and do your job- Mr. Pussy Inspector.
Once you get this mentality down, life is different. Very different.
More about screening
As you guys know, if you are trying to Get Laid, screening for sexual availability is the most important thing.
I've gone on-and-on about its importance:
- How to Screen and Filter Out Girls, Instead of Getting Rejected
- How to Tell if She's Interested (Down to Fuck)
- How and What to Screen Girls For
Screening for sexual availability is mandatory. You always want to run sexually-charged conversation with physical advances.
Once you are legitimately screening and not running "I hope she likes me" game, you can incorporate a lot of other screening criteria if you are trying to find a certain type of girl. It's like giving a chick a 'tryout' every time you talk to a new candidate. This is generally easier to adapt for more advanced guys that already have a few fuckbuddies and are naturally looking to replace one or trying to bring another in.
Anyone at the starting level should start to adapt the 'screening mentality.' It will be quite effective, since it puts an entire different spin on 'rejection'. The first week I started GoodLookingLoser.com, a guy wrote in saying he got laid after months of approaching without results. For some guys, 'screening' will be easy, some guys will find it harder. It takes time to internalize it. You are literally reprogramming your brain. It's the ultimate mindset if you are SERIOUSLY trying to Get Laid.
Girls screen guys all the time; don't feel bad about having balls, standards and criteria.
Let me give you a few examples from my own game and from other guys I know that legitimately screen for lifestyle/other criteria and bang lots of hot chicks-
- I have a friend in Los Angeles that really likes chicks that do cocaine. Somewhere in the interaction he'll tell a story about doing cocaine or ask the girl, "Do you like to party?" Most chicks in Hollywood know that "party" means doing blow. He doesn't give a fuck if the girl thinks drugs are bad.
- I like girls that have nice thick hair. I will say, "I'm the only non-gay hair stylist in LA, hunny let me see your hair," (in a super gay voice) and run my hands through her hair. Whether she likes it or not, if I find a lot of fake hair extensions or if she tries to stop me because her hair is weak or thin then I might stop talking to her. It's up to me if she passes the test, I'll definitely give her a compliment if she passes and make her feel sexy about it. I don't give a fuck if she thinks I'm a dickhead.
- I like chicks that say "please" and "thank you" I can't stand chicks that aren't grateful or aren't appreciative. Once a hot chick becomes my fuckbuddy, we go do different fun things before I bang her. Sometimes when I meet a girl, I'll tell her to say "thank you" for EVERYTHING I do. Give her a compliment, "thank you" give her a napkin, "thank you" give her a kiss, "thank you" give her a sip of water- I expect to hear "thank you." While this seems like a joke, if the girl actually has a problem playing along- she is probably not a girl that expresses her appreciation too often and I'm out. I don't give a fuck if she thinks that's absurd.
- Scotty likes girls that are submissive and do EXACTLY what the fuck he wants in bed. When he meets a girl, he'll command her to do certain basic stuff and follow some basic orders (turn around, shut your mouth, put your hand here) and see how she reacts. It's not a power-trip, he just likes girls that are a phone call away and willing to swallow his load whenever he's horny. He doesn't give a fuck if she thinks he's bossy.
- I have a friend in Chicago that gets a lot of pussy and likes to "hurt" girls in bed because he's got a big cock. It's along the lines of sexual screening but he'll ask if the girl is a virgin pretty quickly. If she's not, later on in the interaction he'll mention that he's well-endowed and most girls can't take his cock. Either the girl will say she thinks she can or be curious to see if its true or she'll run off right then and there. He doesn't give a fuck if she thinks he's perverted. By the way, check out: Get Hung
- I have an unnamed friend that has a big-time foot fetish. Although I don't have this sexual trigger, I've helped him live out a lot of his fantasies. You're welcome buddy. He just tells a chick that she has "cute feet," once or twice in the interaction after they have been vibing. If she's cool with it, she'll probably let him suck her toes or worship her feet- or whatever the fuck he does (haha). I'm going to guess it's way better than looking at girls' feet on the Internet. He doesn't give a fuck if she thinks he's creepy.
- Wouldn't you know- I have another friend that has a smoking fetish. He's turned on by hot chicks that smoke, especially one's that suck on cigars. He'll mainly hit on girls that are smoking. Once he starts vibing with a girl, he'll kiss her and then tell her to give him a "smokey kiss" or blow smoke in his face or something. Chicks are easy going about this stuff, and the transition to incorporating his fetish into the bedroom is pretty easy I assume. He doesn't give a fuck if she thinks he's a weirdo.
- On a lighter note, my friend Mark likes chicks that are in great shape. If they are wearing a dress or if he can't tell, he'll ask them if they work out and say that he likes girls that are in shape. They'll either tell him what their lifestyle is or think he's a jerk. He'll feel the girl up to check their body composition (I do this too). I've seen him make girls do pushups in the bar. He doesn't give a fuck if she thinks he's a jerk.
Now, a lot of these guys are 100% authentically screening chicks which is made easier because they are usually already getting a lot of pussy from girls that fit their criteria. Whether you get to that level soon- it doesn't matter. What does matter is that you understand why screening is important and start doing it. Down the line, you can implement screening for important commonalities or connections. Just screen to Get Laid for now.
No more Mr. Funny Guy, "I hope she likes me game," no more.
Here's me running "I hope she likes me game," on a dating show in 2002- "Chris on the 5th Wheel"
So why doesn't most PU community and mainstream dating advice tell guys to "screen" girls?
Good question. If I had to guess, it's because those guys are just Internet marketers and magazine writers that don't actually get a lot of hot girls (or any girls at all). They have experience telling funny jokes and sharing interesting stories. They have experience talking to girls when they previously couldn't talk to girls. A lot of them have no actual experience fucking the hottest girls. Any guy that is elite in this game operates from a position of power, whether he knows it or not. We can get you to this level.