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Ideally, I want you guys to develop into MEN that don't have much approach, social or sexual anxiety and aren't dependent on others for emotional support.
If you haven't hit on girls ever, the thought of going out alone and hitting on (screening) the HOTTEST girls might be scary. It was for me when I was just starting out. At the same time, I didn't exactly want to be around other guys that could take my focus off of what I was trying to do- GET LAID.
Standing around at a bar or club without talking to anyone might make you feel weird or like a loser. Stupid (untrue) thoughts go through your head, "All these girls know that I'm here alone!" "Everything is looking at me!" If you are just standing around, people actually think that you work at the place, not that you are some creeper that has no friends, no life, no balls and is trying to Get Laid (haha). In time, with experience, these thoughts will go away completely.
Mainstream pick up advice offers the solution, "Be confident!" "Don't care what other people think!"
And Obviously that advice helps NO ONE.
So when started going out alone and was nervous, I developed this cell phone technique.
Whenever I felt awkward, I just took out my phone and started texting someone or playing a game on it. I had the 'World Series of Poker' game that I would play until I saw a hot chick I wanted to talk to. It took my mind off of 'being out alone' and I looked busy. Nobody looked at me like I was out alone or doing something weird.
So if you want to try this- put some games on your phone, surf the web, text people, whatever- look up every so often and see if there's a girl you think is hot. Then go walk up and screen her.
Eventually, I stopped using my cell phone for a wingman and emotional social anxiety support. But it seemed to be effective and it allowed me to go out alone and hit on girls when I was just beginning. I got laid sometimes too. It was more fun than going out with most "pick up artists" and pretending like we weren't nervous and actually had something in common beside "The Game."
It's a "Low Level" technique- but it can be helpful for new guys.
Maybe "being social" or "mingling" is better but frankly- "being social" can take you OFF your focus- Getting Laid.
I thought this technique was better than "be social" which was awkward at the time too.
Some people might say- That's a crutch! That's a crutch!
Sure it is, but who cares?
Walking with crutches is better than not walking at all.
You gotta do what you gotta do to maximize your chances on any given night. Eventually, you won't need it. If it works. Do it.
If your goal is to Get Laid and this helps- Do it. Don't worry if some guy or some "dating coach" that never hits on girls tells you it's a crutch.
It's better than not going out at all.
Simply the fact that you are approaching chicks will lessen your anxiety and reliance on helpers.
It's actually better than a wingman in most cases.
You've thought about it long enough.
Great Idea. I am divorced and older. My old friends who I used to go out with a lot and we did fairly well with the girls are either married or in relationships or have no interest in going out. Plus, it is hard to get together with everyone's...
Great Idea. I am divorced and older. My old friends who I used to go out with a lot and we did fairly well with the girls are either married or in relationships or have no interest in going out. Plus, it is hard to get together with everyone's schedule. If I don't go out alone, I would rarely go out. I do feel funny being out alone when it seems that everyone wherever you go are in little groups. Many times it just feels bad and I leave and roam from bar to bar. But then I have a drink at each place and end up drinking too much. Your idea of using your cell phone is golden. I will be using this.
Keep up the good work. Your website is one of the best out there.
Thanks man! This 'technique' is actually pretty helpful for a lot of guys. I just got an IPhone and I thought- damn I wish I had this phone was I started!!
I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.
Thanks again Chris, life would suck without you.
comment 26220 - "How to Pickup Girls if You Are Nervous... (Nervous Guy Game)"