How to Lose Your Virginity
Welcome to Part IV of our "How to Lose Your Virginity" series.
In Part III, we discussed how to efficiently message girls online, get their number and call them.
Now it's time to meet up with them.
Remember how I told you that "you are going to Get Laid for the first time, like most people Get Laid for the first time/in general"?
That is what this covers.
You will go out with a girl that is interested in you (and physically attracted to you because she chose you based on your pictures) and you will go a little further with her each time.
Most guys ARE NOT meeting girls at bars/on the street and aggressively dragging them to their apartment and fucking them.
Most guys are moving slowly with girls and engaged in some sort "dating" (usually 'courting') dynamic.
I know you don't want to be like most guys, but you need to drop that attitude for right now.
Most guys have already lost their virginity - so let's just start there.
Step 7: Meet Ups and Date(s)
You will likely be going on at least 3 dates before you sleep with girl - I want you to know that upfront.
5 or more dates is more realistic.
On each date, you will be going a little further with the girl.
There will be very little pressure; by the time the 4th or 5th date comes around - you will be fairly comfortable and she will want to get naked.
I don't even want to put extra pressure on you and tell you, "The goal of EVERY date is to Get Laid".
In general, this is what we are shooting for -
- 1st meet up - Meet the girl
- 2nd date - Kiss the girl
- 3rd date - Mess around with the girl (clothing on, usually)
- 4th date - Get naked with the girl and mess around
- 5th date - Get naked with the girl (have sex - if you haven't yet)
- 6th date - Repeat/see 5th date
Somewhere between date 4 and 8 is when you will have sex.
By Date #6, the vast majority of girls will be expecting it.
I cannot tell you enough -
IF THEY GO OUT WITH YOU (particularly on a 3rd and 4th date)...
THEY LIKE YOU.
AND WILL BE EXPECTING "SOMETHING TO HAPPEN".
So if you get scared, insecure, or confused, try to remember that they "like you".
By the #6 or #7 - it is more awkward to NOT mess around with the girl than to try to get her naked.
It will happen for you.
I promise you.
Just follow what I say -
First Meet up (Coffee Shop/Cafe/Brief Meet Up)
- Goal: Meet her
Once you get more experience (or you spend a decent amount of time on the phone with the girl), you can setup a first date where you scoop her up from her house and drive her back to your place or begin at Date #2 or #3 .
For now, your First Date is just a brief meeting at a coffee shop or non-server cafe.
Figure out a hot spot (or a location halfway between her and you) and go meet her.
Get coffee, ice cream, a sandwich, walk on the beach, some drinks, whatever.
You can pay for her if you want, or not - it doesn't really matter.
Just lean back and talk with the girl.
Get her talking about the subjects that she is into and just listen -
What was it like growing up in [city]?
What's your favorite part of being a [occupation]?
How often do you go home and what do you parents do?
After about 30-45 minutes, tell her that you've love to stay longer but you have to get going.
This shouldn't be abrupt or unexpected - she should know in advance that you were only meeting up for a little while.
Don't worry about touching her or trying to kiss her - I don't even want you doing that.
Just give her a hug goodbye and say you'll text her later.
You can text her "Nice meeting you!", 15-20 minutes after you leave.
If she replies, she's likely interested in seeing you again - which the vast majority will be if you look like your pictures and got them talking about themselves.
First Date Prep
Since you are inexperienced, it's helpful to have a few things, stories, themes to talk about with the girl.
You can make a note of these in your cell phone.
Just make sure you look good and feel sexy.
Don't be more than 5 minutes late.
After the first date, don't be trying to text her to "check on her" or see what she is doing.
Do not add her on Facebook after your First Date.
If she texts you - answer her back (usually not right away) but don't get caught up in some long text thread. If she keeps trying to contact you - get her out on Date #2 ASAP.
Second Date (~2-3 Hour Meet Up)
- Goal: Kiss her!
After at least 2 days, ask the girl out on a second date using the same phone/text procedure discussed in Part III.
(Ideally, you should be going out with several other girls following this exact blueprint. In one 3 day period in 2008, I had 18 dates I went on. YES - 18 - I actually went on only 11 however.)
Text her, when she replies - call her, make small talk and setup plans - ideally for nighttime.
Your plans can literally be ANYTHING.
When I was still doing the "dating" thing (2008) before I was getting same day/night action - I used to pick up girls and drive to 'Chuck e Cheese' (it's a goofy kids place with games) for my second date. But I also did things such as hiking, desserts, grocery/clothing shopping, smoking hookah, beach afternoon, bowling, etc.
Just nothing too expensive.
This time you will drive to her place, pick her up and go on your date.
Same deal - just have fun and get the girl talking.
The girl is already getting emotionally attached.
Don't worry about your "sexual vibe", just have a good time.
Here is when you have to PONY UP -
At the end of your date, drive her home and before she gets out of your car (or you walk her inside, which I never do) - KISS HER.
SHE IS EXPECTING IT.
Just hold her hand and say -
GIVE ME A KISS.
(you kiss her though)
CLOSE YOUR EYES.
(and kiss her - just like you've seen me do in the videos)
She will close her eyes and you can kiss her.
That is how to kiss a girl.
That is how I did it when I wasn't too experienced and that is how I do it now.
(I just do it faster now)
For some of you guys, that will be your first kiss.
Come tell us about it in the Forum.
DO NOT PUSSY OUT OR YOU WILL HAVE TO REPEAT THIS DATE.
If she stops you (98% chance she WILL NOT, kissing is not a big deal to most girls), she still likes you - you will kiss her on Date #3.
Second Date Prep
I am going to repeat this ad-nauseum - if a girl meets up with you for a second date -
SHE LIKES YOU.
Although plenty of relationship-seeking girls didn't want to see me after our first date, I can't remember a single time when a girl went on a second date with me and cut me off after.
(that I can remember)
Like the first time around, you might want to keep a bullet-point list of talking points in your cell phone if you are scared you will run out of stuff to say.
Take a look at it in the bathroom or pretend to text somebody to peek at it.
Third Date (Whatever + Drinks and a Movie)
- Goal: Get Physical - Clothing On (Perhaps More)
At this point, the girl has already made up her mind if she is going to sleep with you, if she hadn't when she first met you.
The only question is when.
If she agrees to a third date, she is down to sleep with you (now or in the near future).
The main priority on this date is to make sure the final destination is your place - specifically: your living room couch or your bedroom.
If you want - you can go out to get food, a club or do some activity (try not to get her sweaty - girls are self-conscious about a sweaty/salty pussy) and come back to your place for a movie with desserts and/or drinks.
The more convenient plan is to pick her up, drive to a grocery store to buy food and come back to cook it together.
That way, she'll be at your place the entire time.
By the third date, you should be pretty comfortable with the girl, so I encourage you to be a little more 'touchy-feely' with her as compared to your first two dates.
Cook some food together. (or not)
Open up some drinks.
Go sit in front of the TV together.
(or your laptop and watch YouTube videos if you don't have a TV)
Drink up and put on a movie or find something on TV.
(you can also play Nintendo Wii or Kinect on Xbox360)
Make sure you are sitting right next to the girl or cuddling up with her.
Sometime during the movie/show, put your arm around her and begin playing with her hair and massaging her neck for a few minutes.
She is expecting this.
Kiss her after that.
(Kiss her neck too)
Continue kissing her and let your hands wander elsewhere - her legs, her chest and then her pussy.
For a lot of guys - this will be your first time doing this.
You can do this for a while and/or try to take things further.
You might not know yet but - you can get girls REALLY WET even if they are fully clothed.
If you can muster up the courage, tell the girl "let's get a little privacy..." and walk her to your room.
Continue the process and try to go all the way with her with the "escalation" guide that will be presented below.
If you don't go all the way on Date #3, that's just fine, so long as you met the goal of getting intimate and feeling her up.
DO NOT PUSSY OUT or you will have to redo this entire date.
Fourth Date and Beyond (Whatever + Back to Your Place)
- Goal: Go Further/Sex
If you are a virgin and the girl you are seeing is not in "party mode" (girls you meet online rarely are), chances are you won't be having sex with her until at least the 4th or 5th date.
That is fine - that is what I am planning on and why I going to discuss 'How to Have Sex' in this section.
You will be fairly comfortable by then and she will be expecting it.
Identical to the third date, you will want to setup plans where you pick up the girl (or have her drive to your place) and make sure YOUR PLACE is the final destination of the night.
Again, it doesn't matter what the plans are (if any) so long as the girl is in your living room or bedroom at the end.
You don't need to have an "adventurous pick up artist" date because the girl ALREADY LIKES YOU.
If she meets up with you for the fourth time, she's definitely planning on having sex soon enough.
(unless she has flat out told you she is waiting for marriage)
At some point, usually while having some drinks, you will want to start up the same exact process while you are cuddling with the girl - play with her hair, massage her neck, kiss her and feel her up slowly.
This time, however, you are going to go further.
SHE IS EXPECTING IT.
Once you have been kissing/feeling her up for 5-10 minutes, tell her "let's get a little privacy" or lead her into your room with "follow me".
If you are already in your room - just walk over to the bed and sit her down.
(If the girl thinks she is having sex, she might stop you and go to the bathroom to pee and fart - this is a good sign. Just put on some music and pick up where you left off - pour more drinks if you are drinking)
"Comfortable Escalation/Foreplay for Newbies"
(it doesn't matter the order in which you undress the girl/yourself)
Here is a basic way to get her turned on and naked.
While still clothed, so far you have -
- Played with her hair then
- Massaged her shoulders and neck then
- Kissed her then
- Touched her legs then
- Touched her breasts and butt then
- Touched her inner thighs and pussy
After you have been doing this for 10-15 minutes or so, take your shirt off and remove her shirt (just grab her shirt and take it off of her).
Get back to kissing/feeling her up for another 4 or 5 minutes and then remove her bra. You can remove your pants at this time if you want.
(you guys might have trouble with this, just go behind her and unlatch it - it's not a big deal if you have trouble with it)
Give her breasts some immediate attention - rub one of them and suck the other. This feels amazing for them.
(this might be another first - if so, congratulations - you earned it)
Do this for a couple of minutes and get your hand down on her crotch.
Rub it through her pants for 3 or 4 minutes. You can push hard, it won't hurt her.
Between the breast stimulation and the pussy stimulation, most girls will be ridiculously wet.
Remove the girl's pants and underwear and then remove your own.
This might be the scariest thing you have ever done, just keep in mind - SHE LIKES YOU and she is worried mainly about if you like her naked body and not your body fat percentage or the size of your dick.
(Even if she stops you, she still likes you and just isn't ready to share her pussy. Continue with the foreplay.)
If you have a hard-on, by all means - put on the condom and finish the job. Most girls will be wet enough to take you.
(if you have a fat dick, you will need to lick her pussy for a couple minutes or put some lubricant on her)
If your senses get overwhelmed and you lose your erection, it's okay - just get on your knees and eat her pussy and touch yourself at the same time to get a boner going again.
If you get to this point when she is fully naked on your bed and turned on from all the foreplay - you will either have intercourse with her or you won't.
If you get nervous and can't penetrate her, don't worry about it - it happens and it often happens on the FIRST TIME with a new partner, let alone the FIRST TIME ever. My dick went limp during my first time.
She still likes you and you'll finish next time.
Just get busy licking her pussy and using your fingers (go upward, not downward).
If you've never eaten pussy before, don't worry - it's the easiest thing in the world and you can't lose.
When aroused, a girl's pussy (particularly the clitoris, on the outside and 2-3 inches in) is super sensitive.
Just lick it at different speeds/directions and see what she best responds to.
You can also just ask her,
"Does this feel good?"
"Tell me if this feels hot."
(No - it is not 'beta' to ask a girl what she likes. In fact, girls love a guy that is confident enough to ask and is trying to please them)
This girl will be your very first so take care of her.
If sexual anxiety is a concern, review this blog post beforehand -
If you successfully have intercourse -
Congratulations, you aren't a virgin anymore!
When losing their virginity, the majority of guys will penetrate the girl for a few minutes but not orgasm.
THAT IS COMPLETELY COMMON.
If you lose your boner, you can still take care of the girl with your fingers and mouth. I suggest you do so.
As explained in the blog post I link to above, provided that you engage in adequate foreplay, a girl's experience is primarily based on her own sexual health.
Some girls will cum the second you insert your dick and others simply don't know how to have an orgasm because they don't masturbate.
There's only so much you can do, her orgasm is largely her responsibility and so long as you try, she will respect your effort.
What If the Girl Stops Me?
Remember, most girls you meet online are looking for a relationship and don't want to appear "easy" or look like a slut to a potential boyfriend candidate.
But since this "dating" process is gradual and fits most girls' timetable, I don't think you will have many issues with girls shutting you down.
The only time I can see this happening is on Date #3, if you try to take things further after kissing/feeling her up during the movie.
Like I said, by Date #5 or #6, most girls will be expecting to at least be naked with you.
If girls stop you, by all means - just try again in 5 or 10 minutes.
If it's clear they don't want to go further, just respect that - THEY STILL LIKE YOU.
Good Looking Loser's Guide to "How to Lose Your Virginity" continues here -
If you have comments, questions or anything else, please drop the comments on PART V (or on the Forum).
You will get direct feedback from one of us - we want you to lose your V-Card and getting moving.