How to Lose Your Virginity
Welcome to Part II of our "How to Lose Your Virginity" series.
In Part I, we discussed the biggest problem that Virgins face (lack of a Sense of Entitlement) and 4 specific things to keep in mind that will help you feel good enough about your chances to Get Laid for your first time.
In this section, I'll explain how you are going to lose your virginity, slowly increase your 'Sense of Entitlement' and safeguard your fragile self-esteem.
You just need to follow this process until it happens.
This process is not meant to be "aggressive" or move quickly.
It is at YOUR SPEED.
In fact, it's relatively slow and a lot like how most guys sleep with girls (and lost their virginity in their teens or early 20's).
You have never enjoyed that luxury, so it's time that you experience it.
You won't be losing your virginity the way that you think.
A lot of inexperienced guys are 'turned on' by cold-approach (hitting on random girls, in-person) and see it as a means to lose their V-Card.
It works for a minority of guys.
The only problem is -
Cold-approach (until you are good at it) is the hardest way to score.
Especially if you are inexperienced.
(some of the most sexually experienced guys can't do cold-approach well)
Once you get comfortable with it, it's easy (taking a pretty girl home 1 out of every 2 or 3 nights is realistic). However, the initial period of trying to shake off Approach Anxiety can be very difficult, to get action or not get really discouraged and quit.
(if you get discouraged, look over Part I again)
Cold-approach is seen as the most "masculine" way to Get Laid.
And it might be.
For now, however, I beg you to to DROP the "[I'm a virgin but].... I'm a player!" mindset.
You will be much better off.
Get that "same night pull" and "fuck girl in 10 minutes" stuff out of your head for now.
You have no business doing that stuff. Not yet anyway.
Step 1: Make An Account on Some Online Dating Sites
You are going to do this ONLINE.
Not only will this shield your self-esteem but you will know that you are going out with girls that are INTERESTED IN YOU.
The experience of calling up girls that like you and going on some dates/meetups with girls that like you will be REALLY GOOD for you.
You can't lose.
I don't mean that all the girls will end up in your bed - I just mean that you will be in mostly safe situations and you won't get hurt.
Here are the sites that I recommend -
Right now, there is at least one girl (probably several) among those sites that will be willing to sleep with you.
It's your job to locate her and fulfill her wish.
We have some guides to Online Dating but I suggest you just stick to this series and the recommendations that I give you - these posts are targeted at inexperienced guys.
We will hold your hand as much as possible.
KEEP THIS IN MIND AS YOU READ THROUGH THE REMAINDER OF PART II:
While you are making your profile, you are going to want to find a balance between -
UNIVERSAL APPEAL & BEING YOURSELF
You need to make a profile that makes YOURSELF appealing to as many girls as possible.
You need to find your own balance between the two, I can't and shouldn't decide it for you.
Step 2: Get Professional Pictures Taken
Plain and simple, you will get 30% more responses if you have professional pictures in your profile.
This is particularly important if you aren't super good looking.
(even if you are - they will help)
It's never been cheaper to get good professional pictures done, check out your local deals on Groupon.com.
They won't cost you much over $60, in a lot of cities.
In the pictures, I suggest wearing a suit or something formal/suggests that you have money (or at least some status/class) or have it be a "natural" shot that isn't a staged headshot.
These professional pictures should present your best sex appeal and not be "funny" or "goofy".
(you can use those later)
They shouldn't look like a high school yearbook picture or like you are a used cars salesman.
Simply getting professional pictures taken will set you apart from 90% of guys and guarantee that you get responses.
Having professional pictures in your online profile is NOT try hard if you use 1 or 2 of them.
Step 3: Select Several Pictures that Give You 'Universal Appeal'
In addition to your professional pictures that highlight 'sex appeal', you need some other pictures to convey the 'cool' and 'fun' side of your personality.
I generally agree that most guys should follow Rooster's advice and select 1 main picture for sex appeal and 2-3 supporting pictures that aren't all selfies.
Unless you are particularly low in body fat, I don't suggest any shirtless pictures. At most - JUST ONE.
(shirtless pictures are a Screening method, not a Universal Appeal method)
No pictures of crappy quality (a dark webcam creeper picture) and no try hard pictures where you are with other girls.
Crop the girls out and it makes you look good.
No guns, knives, gang/hate group affiliations, drugs, immature t-shirts, military uniforms or anything unnecessarily polarizing (unless it is super important to you).
If the picture is questionable - don't use it.
This is what I suggest you use -
- 1 or 2 Professional pictures that give you sex appeal (sexy, with class).
- 1 or 2 "Edgy" pictures (nothing too edgy like an outline of your dick in tight jeans or flipping the middle finger however).
- 1 or 2 "Funny" or "Fun" pictures that shows you are a cool guy with a sense of humor who doesn't take himself too seriously.
- 1 "Normal" picture that shows you up close. *optional*
Each picture won't necessarily have 'Universal Appeal' but the combination of all of them will.
I will show you an example in a minute.
Unlike what I suggest in "Good Looking Loser's [Screening] Guide to Plenty of Fish", I don't suggest that you use any "hardcore" pictures that disqualify girls that are looking for boyfriends and not down to fuck (DTF).
When you get some more experience under your belt, you can do that.
Until then, you want to appeal to as many girls as possible.
Here is my 'Universal Appeal' package example -
Here is why I why I picked each picture (left to right) -
#1 - Professional pictures make you look like a model. (sex appeal)
#2 - Edgy picture to counterbalance the 'nice guy' stuff. (edge)
#3 - In the bathroom with a huge Swiss Chard leaf. (funny, I look decent in that picture)
#4 - Again, another 'goofball' picture. (funny)
#5 - Close up picture. (authenticity)
#6 - Professional picture #2. (sex appeal)
- If you naturally look masculine, I suggest 2 "funny" pictures and only 1 "edgy" picture.
- If you don't naturally look masculine, I suggest 2 "edgy" pictures and only 1 "funny" picture.
These are just fine-tune suggestions.
They won't make or break you.
Make sure you cover the whole spectrum though -
Cool guy, with masculine sex appeal and a sense of humor, who doesn't take himself too seriously.
The combination of these pictures presents a Universal Appeal and the hard to find juxtaposition that makes girls go crazy (which we will expand on in the written profile section).
Even some girls that don't consider you their "type" (by looks and interests) will find you quite appealing compared to the clueless, generic, one-dimensional guys that have been messaging them.
That is what you are shooting for.
If you want feedback, drop a link to your profile in our Online Dating Forum.
You will get plenty of help - you should mention that you are shooting for 'Universal Appeal' and not Screening for DTF girls.
If you sign up for Rooster's program "How to Get Laid in 5 Weeks, Even If You Are a Virgin", he will personally help you.
* Please don't put a link in the comments section below, we can't have links in there unfortunately.
Step 3: Present Your VERY BEST Self
As I mentioned, unlike online "Screening", you will want to have a profile that appeals to the majority of girls.
At the same time, I suggest you "be yourself" (I fucking hate that term) and don't blatantly lie or totally exaggerate your lifestyle.
Here is why -
Although saying that you are a millionaire might make you appealing to 10-20% more girls, it's not worth saying.
Even though you want 'Universal Appeal', the idea is to still go out with girls that are INTERESTED IN YOU for what you have to offer.
The good thing about online dating is - if a girl agrees to go out with you, SHE LIKES YOU (to some extent) and you don't have to worry about "rejection" on a physical level unless your photos are completely different from how you look.
I don't suggest going out with girls under false pretenses.
(at the same time, I have friends that lie their asses off and get mad pussy - so it's up to you)
Without lying, you should present your VERY BEST Self and not be too cool to fill all the profile sections.
(girls actually read this stuff, especially if they are interested in you)
Lets go through the sections one-by-one -
There's not much to explain here.
I would keep 'Do you drink?' to [Socially].
And I would keep 'Do you want children?' to [Undecided].
That is a relationship type question and any definitive answer [YES/NO] can only hurt you.
It's not a big deal though.
Concept: "Girlspeak" - Standing Out and Relating to Women
From this point forward, I want you to be aware of something that I call "Girlspeak" (also called "Chickspeak" or "Chick Crack").
I have it ALL OVER the remainder of the profile.
It's basically "insider" terms, jokes, tendencies and subjects that girls can relate to and always talk about with each other.
No, it doesn't make me look like a homosexual.
It makes me look like a cool guy who can relate to women and is part of the "in-crowd".
It makes me look like a guy who understands women and probably has a lot of attractive of girls as friends who are trying to pursue me.
Relating to women is part of 'Swag Factor' and it's kind of a big deal.
(see my list about the tendencies of Hollywood girls)
I haven't done much online dating (with the exception of Adult Friend Finder) since 2009, but girls would literally be telling me that I was the ONLY cool guy online in the entire city of Los Angeles.
Some would even message me, some of them were actually hotties too.
It is rare for good looking girls to message guys online.
Obviously, there's a ton of other cool guys in Los Angeles but simply from my online profile - girls knew instantly that they could relate to me and I'd be cool to hang out with - if nothing else.
"Girlspeak" is something that I've picked up from chilling with hundreds of girls through the years, both as friends and sex kittens. I don't expect you to be as well-versed in this subject, it comes from experience.
Nor do you have to be.
When I was in my early/mid-20's, I didn't understand women and their lifestyle all that well.
Just a little "Girlspeak", however, GOES A LONG WAY.
You just need a few terms/lines in your profile to suggest to the girl, "This guy gets it," "This guy is normal and not a creep."
(by normal I mean - not a complete weirdo)
It's actually quite powerful and you know that I don't usually go for this "game" stuff.
Just use what you know.
(you could just copy my profile, that's fine - but it's better to be YOU)
Basically I seem like the Dream Guy, right?
It's not like I'm not interested in those things. I do them all to some extent.
I'm just creating a powerful overall presentation.
I'm aware of what women are looking for.
Remember, one of the goals is to create a juxtaposition.
- If you naturally look masculine - present your nerd/I-have-a-brain/sensitive side in your interests.
- If you don't naturally look masculine - present your 'tough guy' or masculine side in your interests.
Some suggestions are: MMA, boxing, powerlifting, skydiving, contact sports, etc.
You will want to put some thought into this section - it's totally worth it and can really put your Universal Appeal over the edge.
Not to brag but - I REALLY KNOW WHAT WOMEN WANT and I'm handing that straight to you so you can benefit.
I'll talk about this part after you read it -
Let me tell you what is going on in this section.
The whole thing is "Girlspeak".
I'm going to explain so you can come up with your own version that has Universal Appeal.
The first 3 sentences hit home with 98% of girls -
I never thought I'd be on an online dating site...
- Girls feel the EXACT same way. Some are embarrassed, even though it's socially acceptable.
I'm tired of the bar/club scene...
(typo in the profile - no biggie)
- The best looking girls are online for THIS REASON too. Presenting yourself as a 'non-party boy' or a 'retired-party boy' will make you look good to the less desirable girls too.
... watch PBS and Lifetime movies...
- When girls are depressed/PMS'ing, they sit at home eating Ben & Jerry's ice cream and watch shitty late-night movies on the Lifetime Network. Most girls will get this reference or just think it's funny.
I talk about how there's "no pressure" and "seeing where it goes".
These themes are repeated later.
Every girl (online or otherwise) has had a high-pressure date with a high-pressure guy that was painful to sit through.
Simply by acknowledging that, you seem cooler than 90% of guys.
Girls have also dated the "clingy guy", so putting in a line about "seeing where it goes..." is intelligent and funny.
(just don't be mean-spirited, e.g.: "I'm not that clingy insecure faggot who is gonna stalk ur ass...")
This is the part that needs to be YOU.
I'm perceived as a total douchebag by 90% of the population so I insert the line -
I don't like talking about myself...
(which I actually don't)
To balance it out.
If you are perceived in a similar way (or have a nice resume), it's better to downplay it from the start.
Just cover a wide range of stuff so you present yourself as a sexy, confident, athletic, interesting, cool, intelligent young man.
After you type it up, it shouldn't have any glaring grammar mistakes, but it shouldn't look like you spent 2 hours on it.
Again, this is for 'Universal Appeal' not Screening for DTF girls.
I have found that longer profiles are better than shorter profiles if you want to get a lot of responses.
This is the final part of the 'About Me' section.
I always tell girls to step up and message me and I'll take care of the rest.
Girls know they can message guys but this line makes them feel like it wasn't their idea.
The Tori Spelling quote communicates with the Hollywood girls that I see most often, but also to the girls that aren't into entertainment.
Tori Spelling is considered a joke of an actress and nobody in the world respects her.
Even her biggest fans simply feel sorry for her.
You WILL be going out on some dates so don't act like you won't be/too good for that.
It's gonna be good for you anyway!
Here is my "First Date" -
That's probably more elaborate than you expected.
And probably more elaborate than you need.
My friend who gets 100% of the girls he sleeps with online just writes -
for his First Date.
(I get significantly hotter girls than he does though)
Way back when I was doing the pick up artist stuff, I had a 'First Date' section that was very similar to this one.
It seemed to work REALLY well and I had just about 1 out of every 3 or 4 girls writing back to me; many said my 'First Date' was the funniest thing they ever read.
Even in 2008, I literally had more girls than I could possibly go out with just from online dating.
(that's a huge reason I beat approach anxiety but that's another story)
Now, you know what I think about being "Mr. Funny Man", when it comes to Screening for DTF girls and GETTING LAID.
It's a waste of time and can make you look like a total goofball.
But for simply 'meeting women' or casual dating, in moderation - it comes off really well if it's juxtaposed with masculine behavior and assertiveness.
I'm not against "being funny". I'm against trying to be Mr. Funny Man.
There's a difference.
You've seen my videos, I say some funny shit every now and then.
Since you are shooting for 'Universal Appeal', I suggest you lean toward the 'sense of humor' or 'fun' side of your personality instead of "I'll fuck your pussy up" side (a role that you are not yet familiar).
I suggest that you write something funny and then "keep it real" at the end, telling them you'll just meet them for a no-pressure coffee date.
Whatever you put in this section, finish it with -
... we'll see if there's any chemistry.
That is Girlspeak and that is EXACTLY what they are looking for, especially from a guy they meet online.
Here is my full example profile so you can see the whole thing -
Good Looking Loser's Guide to "How to Lose Your Virginity" continues here -
If you have comments, questions or anything else, please drop the comments on PART V (or on the Forum).
You will get direct feedback from one of us - we want you to lose your V-Card and getting moving.