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What You Have I Don't
I have an endless list of topics I need to write about -
But more often, I just end up discussing whatever is going on in my head that day, that's how I'm able to publish my best stuff. I'm not a great writer.
Sometimes - ideas just come to me.
But sometimes there's a certain incident that is the catalyst.
This is one of those.
This weekend I was at the gym and a guy came up to me.
He recognized me from this website and the YouTube channel.
Although this has happened several times before, what happened after wasn't the usual.
He asked me for my autograph and to take selfie photos with him.
This isn't something (honest to Christ) that I'm comfortable with, especially the former.
I'll never forget what my 5th grade math teacher, Mr. Edmunson, told our class.
(I was in 4th grade but in 5th grade accelerated math!)
He didn't believe in "autographs".
He wasn't a hater either.
He told our class that "celebrities" (I am hardly that) are simply 'other people'. While talented (or not that talented and simply at the right place at the right time), they are simply humans.
They have the same needs in life -
They want a little bit of love.
They want a little bit of respect.
They want a little bit of adventure.
They want a little bit of security and protection from fear.
They have their own version of our problems, that produce similar feelings of unhappiness and insecurity. Even if those problems are "high-quality" problems, like having to protect their reputation, money or how to further their careers, the net result is the same - worry, insecurity and even helplessness.
He valued a down-to-earth heart-to-heart talk rather than an impersonal autograph.
I do too.
Instead of taking him up on the "autograph" (I did the selfie pictures), I invited him to lunch - on me, of course.
I wanted to discuss HIM and not me because I already knew what his problem(s) were simply by the way he approached me at the gym.
Sure enough, I was correct.
We sat down to lunch and he began to tell me how he was really grateful for the invite, but how he was nervous and even contemplating not coming at the last second. He said he was respectfully "jealous" of my life, past and present - citing specific things, mostly true, but many that he just assumed. He also said that he didn't know how it was going to be possible to get on "my level". Both Scotty and I have heard statement a lot.
(it actually take a lot of courage to say this stuff...)
I knew what was going on.
He was under the impression that he wasn't worthy to be there and somehow I was a special person.
As I explained to him (for 90 minutes or until he believed me, whichever came last) -
I AM NOT A SPECIAL PERSON.
I AM AN ABOVE-AVERAGE PERSON who knows that is ALL IT TAKES to achieve SPECIAL THINGS (IF YOU APPLY YOURSELF).
At best, I am an Above-Average person who has achieved some special things because I've worked at it and did/learned whatever I had to along the way.
Most people don't achieve special things for reasons other than a lack of talent.
95% of people simply disqualify themselves from success because they don't know what they want or allow their inferiority complex to eliminate them ever REALLY trying.
Or even get started - for that matter.
The remaining 5% are the only competition. Attrition and willingness to learn often determines the victor.
Sometimes, the entire 5% finds good success.
There are people far more talented than I, far better looking, far stronger, far smarter, with far better ideas and higher ceilings. Most people would have a bigger penis if they did the exercises.
They don't have the financial or sexual success because they don't believe this "Above Average" principle.
They think they need to be "superhuman" to get superhuman results. They think that successful people are superhuman.
So they never try.
Hardly the case.
In this kid's case, his "inferiority complex" was particularly ridiculous.
He is 22, good looking, if not better looking than I was at his age. Had a lot of friends, a hot girlfriend (he showed me pictures on his cell phone) that he was 'scared' to break up with and school/learning new things came easy to him.
I envy him.
When I was 22, I was wasting my life playing video games (I was REALLY good at NCAA Football and Madden) and posting on Bodybuilding forums, convincing myself that I was "learning" or "relaxing" since school was "so hard".
I was quickly becoming "The Lonesome Bodybuilder", a convenient excuse to live a mundane life as a loner in denial.
I was 'Good Looking Loser'.
One of the biggest wastes of sexiness that ever existed.
Girls liked me but yet I wasted the prime years of my physical appearance in the gym (trying to become superhuman) and my one bedroom apartment on AOL Instant Messenger.
(a man's prime is 28-34, a "kids" prime is 18-23 though)
I can't get those years back.
This character "Good Looking Loser", this person "Christopher Deoudes", should have been so much more in his early and mid 20's.
Instead, I was just that.
Good Looking Loser.
A sensitive 20-something kid that hid his fragile ego behind his physical appearance, scared to death of rejection, motivated only by approval from others.
I was like a teenage girl.
(18 year old girl, of course!)
And Still - I was living a better life than most. Or at least I told myself that.
Arguably, it was my half-decade of relative failure, that was the only reason I became obsessed with picking up girls and social self-improvement.
Mr. Insecurity turned out to be my best friend.
But still - I can't get those years back. All those birthdays I spent in my room alone, are old news.
You can though.
Although my life turned out pretty well, if I could do it all over again (stupid hypothetical), I would have done things differently.
I wouldn't have wasted my early 20's being so comfortable.
I wouldn't have been Good Looking Loser.
My message to you "kids" is -
---START NOW---
Not when you are 26.
It's like investing.
If you start early, even if with minimal contributions, you will be WAY AHEAD of everyone else when you become their age.
I'm starting to realize what older, wiser people have told me for years.
They always said that they "envied" my youth and the years are special, if for no other reason than simply not having real responsibilities and financial commitments.
It's the perfect time to get ahead (or at least set yourself up for success).
---START NOW---
You might not get the chance later.
I'm lucky.
Real fucking lucky.
As a Law School dropout who pretended he was a Native American to get a scholarship, with a shitty know-nothing liberal arts major (I did get a minor in business administration!) my Dad blindly agreed to loan me what turned out to be well over $48,000 so I could to go to California and pick up girls as part of Brad P's program.
With no evidence (other than my inflated GPA and biceps), he hoped that I would actually become a high-end personal trainer to pay him back and not prove my older siblings right that I was the 'spoiled baby' of the family.
Interestingly enough, it was my obsession with picking up girls (and having a thick dick that got some publicity in popular party circles) that paid off more than my body and fitness knowledge.
(this blog)
Though I have repaid my father many times over, the guilt in my later 20's was horrendous. It certainly affected my 'Sense of Entitlement' until my personal training gig started working.
I will always feel that I wasted my early 20's and that dropping my Law School scholarship to have him pay for "Pickup Mansion" was completely absurd - even though my relationship with "Brad P." was critical to my initial success and eventual mega-success.
I got lucky.
Real lucky.
Though you may deny that my success was due "luck" and not hard work, I maintain that it was DEFINITELY BOTH, the former playing a bigger role than you might believe.
I don't want you to rely on "luck" though.
You don't have to be me.
I don't want you to.
You have the opportunity NOW.
If you aren't married with a mortgage, kids and a dead-end job you hate/need - you don't have any REAL responsibilities now.
Even if you are working a first or second job. It hardly matters now.
Learn to Get Laid NOW, so you aren't wandering around drunk on Hollywood Boulevard on a slow Tuesday night thinking about at which point your life started going downhill.
Learn to Get Laid before you get in a committed relationship or start your "career".
Sexual frustration will put a ceiling on your entire life and make you resent whichever "wife" you settle for.
Once you know you can Get Laid (my definition: go out 2-3 times and get at least 1 girl in bed), you won't ever have to worry about sex again.
Learn to Get Laid (whatever your definition is), have some fun with it and move on to bigger and better things.
It's possible, these guys are doing just that -
(don't view these at work or in front of your Mom)
And Plenty more guys are having sex with 10-20-30+ women.
That is what my early 20's should have looked liked.
Instead, my posts were on a bodybuilding forum and I was posting selfies of my body to a bunch of dudes instead of the pussy I was hitting.
It wasn't until I was 27 that I was doing stuff like that.
I wasn't on "your level".
I hope you understand that.
I'M THE JEALOUS ONE.
I was just Good Looking Loser.
A comfortable, highly normal, undersexed existence.
Take advantage of your 20's or prepare for the pending mid-life crisis in your 30's or 40's.
People who have psychological breakdowns in their adult years didn't build themselves up in their 20's and are faced with financial barriers that prevent significant change.
They are stuck.
Don't let that happen to you.
Pour Conclure
Before I sound like a grumpy old man on his deathbed, nostalgic about his life as an underachiever, I want to affirm that I do enjoy my life.
It's ideal.
But it's more than I deserve and I know it.
I have no business in the Top 1% in wealth and sex because I'm simply ABOVE-AVERAGE (at best) in reality.
The thing is -
I KNOW IT.
You have your youth and you don't even know how valuable that is.
Apply yourself now and you'll be far ahead of me when you celebrate your 32nd birthday.
~ Good Looking Wise Old Man Loser
I've read all your work; thats one of your best.
Late 20s here and I still havnt got going (anxiety) -- That hit home.
i appreciate it, ive been doing a lot of the new posts in 1 session
there's some good stuff over on Lifestyle (if you havent seen it)
http://www.gll-getalife.com
I had no problem recommending this website to my 16 year old brother. I told him to follow your advice to a t but I restricted him on doing roids. Thanks chris
AWesome dude, yeah 16yr olds have no business messing with their hormones or Kratom.
Thats what I tell my 15 yr old nephew, that this time is time that he will never get back. I think the reason a lot of us waste that time in our 20s (im turning 31 in a month btw) is that we are trying to live up to the expectations of others...
Thats what I tell my 15 yr old nephew, that this time is time that he will never get back. I think the reason a lot of us waste that time in our 20s (im turning 31 in a month btw) is that we are trying to live up to the expectations of others whether that be family, friends etc than setting our own path and goals. So we have this fear not of failure, but of disappointing others and being criticized for our choices in life instead of living our own path and such. a lot of kids im my generation and the following generations think they must be multitaskers if they wanna get ahead in life. they must figure out, sex, money school career path by the time they are 22 and thats insane . I tell my nephew thats its okay to just focus on grades and football right now.( and have a decent social life but dont obssess over this just yet). That you dont have to compete against everybody and just maximize yourself and your goals.
you are right - the whole notion of "competition" is definitely a "kid" thing. after a certain point, you just want 'yours' and drop the measuring stick. thanks for your long comment, there's definitely a lot of 'undoing' that guys need to do to...
you are right - the whole notion of "competition" is definitely a "kid" thing. after a certain point, you just want 'yours' and drop the measuring stick. thanks for your long comment, there's definitely a lot of 'undoing' that guys need to do to be successful (or even get started)
If you wake up and are in the mood to write a post about what needs to be "undone" about success one day, I would love to read that one.
TJ - what do you mean? I'm not quite sure what the topic is
Damn reading this made me feel like I'm wasting my time right now and making excuses for not improving myself. I still live with my parents and injured so I cannot work out yet and on top of that I make the excuse that I don't have the time to...
Damn reading this made me feel like I'm wasting my time right now and making excuses for not improving myself. I still live with my parents and injured so I cannot work out yet and on top of that I make the excuse that I don't have the time to even do the approach anxiety drills. It's hard to get out of this mindset and facing the truth makes me even more angry at myself.
Jun -
just make a plan for now. make something that you can look forward to and the baby steps to get there.
don't beat yourself up
that is going to get old
(the post I was going to write was about that, ill maybe do it tomorrow)
thanks for...
Jun -
just make a plan for now. make something that you can look forward to and the baby steps to get there.
don't beat yourself up
that is going to get old
(the post I was going to write was about that, ill maybe do it tomorrow)
thanks for commenting.
Thanks for the shout out Chris! If it weren't for GLL, I wouldn't be where I am now. I'd probably still only get laid off of dumb luck and alcohol-motivated boldness. Seeing your approach videos and the stuff you preach on this website motivated...
Thanks for the shout out Chris! If it weren't for GLL, I wouldn't be where I am now. I'd probably still only get laid off of dumb luck and alcohol-motivated boldness. Seeing your approach videos and the stuff you preach on this website motivated me to become elite.
Just saw your comment reply on the last post I commented on. Look forward to hearing from you.
wait - which one was that
On the seven habits post you replied saying you'd get back to me in the forum about the PM you sent over New Year's. I just saw that reply last night.
ehh dont know man... im 24 and focused 100% on quitting my job and making money on my own... the girls can wait... but im a special case i guess, i feel especially miserable having a 40 hour a week job.
You've said before u never had to work...
ehh dont know man... im 24 and focused 100% on quitting my job and making money on my own... the girls can wait... but im a special case i guess, i feel especially miserable having a 40 hour a week job.
You've said before u never had to work that kind of job in ur life, so u probably don't really get the sheer hell of it, orrr maybe u do. I could have 100 girls and be unhappy, or be free from a career and be happy. The girls are always there.
yup that point of view is completely valid
i will say though, before was personal trainer in LA- i worked some random jobs (on-and-off gigs) and didn't mind it one bit. but I hardly had to wake up every day for it
Chris, I agree with everything you say. I'm almost 31 myself and recently "celebrated" my 10 years of having sex and studying at University. In retrospect, lot's of questions and doubts hound me about whether I put my life and my 20's to good...
Chris, I agree with everything you say. I'm almost 31 myself and recently "celebrated" my 10 years of having sex and studying at University. In retrospect, lot's of questions and doubts hound me about whether I put my life and my 20's to good use. I'm proud of the following achievements: moving permanently to Europe, living in 7 different countries and traveling to 17 others, learning 3 widely-spoken languages, obtaining 5 Master's degrees (in social sciences though - so little money-earning potential there) and fucking 55 girls from 14 different countries. Still, I cannot help to think about the "opportunity costs" of my choices. Half of the girls, I fucked in the last 2 years. Before I was like you, but instead of the Gym, I spent all of my time at the library hitting the books (granted I had steady girlfriends and traveled). I often wonder if I should have been less serious about school, drop out and dedicate more time to getting laid, like you did. Instead, I prioritized CV over pussy and sometimes I regret it. After all, according to your definition (going out 3 times max per lay), I still cannot get laid consistently - far from it! And despite having a girlfriend now, sexual frustration is still putting a ceiling to what I can achieve. I feel unable to move on to bigger and greater things, like you, Grim, Boy Toy and others have. Unlike you, i still feel like a good looking loser at 31 with regards to sex. Do you have any advice for guys like me, whose 20's are long-gone but still not over the "fucking insane amounts of girls" obsession?
Fuck insane amounts of girls. thats your goal and solution.
That's the approach to take.
hint: you will find that you will only have to fuck a certain amount (less than you think) to be satisfied.
Good post again man, read threw ALL 64 pages of material you have writed yesterday, or ok not every single article but them who sounded good, just a question whats you're bpel stats (saw you're nbpel was 7.3)?
I think my inner mind is starting...
Good post again man, read threw ALL 64 pages of material you have writed yesterday, or ok not every single article but them who sounded good, just a question whats you're bpel stats (saw you're nbpel was 7.3)?
I think my inner mind is starting to change now for real, for the last weeks have my dreams gone from mostly nightmares to be like having super powers, get fucked up with friends and getting threesome's with hot girls i know in real life, let them grab my cock and they get like mmm woow that's big, it feels like my real non controllable mindset is starting to change
btw, Im 7.3 bpel and got a really tight fat pad, with some 5.5 meg
Hi Eric - in general I'm at 7.5" BonePressed and 7.0" Non-BP.
What particularly struck me was this:"..and move on to bigger and better things." Though I still enjoy chasing skirt, Ive made the decision like a year ago to do just that and I'm pretty sure that GLL is your bigger and better thing which is what...
What particularly struck me was this:"..and move on to bigger and better things." Though I still enjoy chasing skirt, Ive made the decision like a year ago to do just that and I'm pretty sure that GLL is your bigger and better thing which is what gives you purpose.
So then Im thinking, how do I find my purpose? I could see myself going in so many directions but obviously, at 25, it's time to make some choices. One of my biggest dreams is still to build my own successful business so perhaps its that, perhaps my purpose is building and creating things I'm not sure.
Any ideas on how to discover our 'purpose' in life so to say - I really feel that that is what it all comes down to. Famous writers, entrepreneurs, athletes and so on and so forth are all doing the one thing that they love and which is their purpose (at least for that time being) - I'm actually not even sure if it's possible to achieve extraordinary results of the thing you're doing isn't your purpose.
Any thoughts? [/philosopher mode off]
Have a listen to this
http://www.dangerandplay.com/2014/10/05/how-to-live-your-life-purpose-day-by-day/
(everything he recommends is corrrect - thats is how I discovered my mission)
This one hit me hard in the stomach... At 18 I was already reading the Alt Seduction Fast forum, the forum from where Mystery would become famous. Ross Jeffries and his "Speed Seduction" was starting to get a voice. However it still was PUA...
This one hit me hard in the stomach... At 18 I was already reading the Alt Seduction Fast forum, the forum from where Mystery would become famous. Ross Jeffries and his "Speed Seduction" was starting to get a voice. However it still was PUA bullshit and it never resonated with me. I had to wait until 26 to learn about Steve Jabba and GLL to start making some progress and now the only thing I regret is not having known that before...
For me best motivational post ever Chris!
yup, I've read most of that stuff too, I think everyone gets their start there... until now
I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.
Thanks again Chris, life would suck without you.
Read More...
comment 26220 - "How to Pickup Girls if You Are Nervous... (Nervous Guy Game)"