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As the "PUA" era of Good Looking Loser slowly comes to an end (don't worry, we still have a ton of GET LAID advice) - Scotty and I have wanted to transition away from "seduction" criticism/lingo for quite some time in order to attract more cool/normal guys than less "geek squad".
I suppose we've done a decent job - the guys in our community really have their shit together, getting pussy or are seriously in the process of getting there (rather than just analyzing it).
I wanted to point out the single biggest problem with PUA or mainstream "Seduction Community" theory.
This is not going to be a super long discussion, just one that can serve as a bookmark to refer those who are still unsure on the matter.
"Creating Attraction"
The vast majority of PUA theory relies on the shaky premise that there is a skill that any guy can use to "create attraction" or produce a powerful emotional response in any women that will make her sexually attracted to him and willing to sleep with him - even if she is not physically attracted to him in any way.
The process is called "seduction".
The skill is called "game".
This theory, while having some credence - is largely untrue.
While "game" can elicit an emotional response and a degree of sexual tension - the amount is actually quite limited.
In the case of popular attractive girls who have most options for same day/night sex - this "skill" is almost completely useless if there is no initial degree of physical attraction (looks threshold).
Arguably, ONLY the confidence element of "game" has ANY validity whatsoever.
The actual "skill" composed of routines, techniques, timed conversational strategies, deliberate body language, while perhaps helping a guy's confidence - are otherwise largely useless at "creating attraction" or "getting women to "like you".
While this "skill" can produce laughter and temporary excitement (as PUA's highlight in their workshops as evidence of sexual attraction) - the female will have absolutely no sexual intent if the guy does not at least meet her bare minimum physical standard (or looks threshold).
In short, "game" is not the foolproof substitution or equalizer and it cannot compensate for a significant lack of sex appeal (looks, style) and swag factor (social skills, social status) if those elements falls below the girl's standard.
"Game" cannot produce a significant amount of physical (sexual) attraction.
"Game" cannot compensate for a significant lack physical attractiveness.
Confidence, too, only goes so far to encourage sexual attraction.
This is especially true when considering GETTING LAID or sleeping with girls on the SAME NIGHT - where attractive DTF girls value sex appeal as their primary [if not sole] criteria.
Over a decade ago (I think?), David Deangelo famously said -
"Attraction is Not a Choice!"
Deangelo was right.
He just had the wrong factor.
PHYSICAL ATTRACTION is not a choice - for both genders.
(he was talking about 'personality' or "game")
This is not to suggest, as some argue, that all "game" outside of confidence has no impact whatsoever on sexual tension.
It has a small effect.
And It won't have any effect if the guy is not considered a sexual option.
But "game" is not the GREAT EQUALIZER that determines 100% of the outcome, as the mainstream suggests.
At best, it can propel a guy that barely meets a girl's physical standards - to a "possible - but not particularly serious" option after a significant amount of doubt, resistance and overall lack of attention.
While that seems promising, the odds are really quite low if the guy sits barely on the looks threshold bubble (-3 levels below).
Sexual Availability
The other half of this fundamental problem concerns sexual availability or "rejection" (to those who fail to meet the looks threshold).
Surprisingly, Good Looking Loser was the first place Sexual Availability was ever discussed.
PUA enthusiasts, forever committed to the notion that the outcome of every interaction is primarily or solely determined by "game" (or lack thereof) - misinterpret rejection and disinterest.
Rejection (or disinterest) occurs for 1 or 2 of 2 reasons-
Mindlessly believing that "game" can compensate for these supposed lesser significant/understood factors - the PUA believes that every "failed" approach, "flaked" text/phone interaction or any disinterest whatsoever is an indication that he has not yet developed his "game" or he did something wrong.
(even though, slowly, part of him tells himself that a lack of physical attraction might be to blame)
That's not the case.
The primary catalyst for SEXUAL ATTRACTION IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE PHYSICAL ATTRACTION.
The obvious PUA retort is -
"So explain how THAT UGLY GUY GOT THAT HOT GIRL?"
There's a number of factors that determine committed (and uncommitted) relationships to which physical attraction is a lesser factor.
For strictly GETTING LAID (SAME DAY/NIGHT) - physical attraction, only short of logistics (where your bedroom is), is the most important factor - for which ONLY social status can compensate.
Not "game".
PUA's want inexperienced guys to assume that "THAT UGLY GUY" picked up (or courageously cold approached) "THAT HOT GIRL" in a book store, mall or bar.
Chances are - they met through a friend (or shared commonality such as work or school), just like ~90% of NORMAL PEOPLE MEET.
Better chances are - they aren't even having sex. He's her friend.
The last resort argument that PUA believers raise is -
"So explain how [insert favorite PUA] FUCKS HOT GIRLS?"
Chances are - he doesn't.
At least not in significant quantity given the amount of girls he hits on.
I spent about 18 months around the PUA scene in Los Angeles and met, observed and interacted with a lot of the mainstream characters.
At my gym alone, Equinox Fitness in West Hollywood, I'd see about 5 or 6 familiar faces on a daily basis. During a weekend night, there could be double this amount at the usual spots.
Pickup artists mainly do one thing - Pick up girls or "game" them.
They have learned how to harmlessly get girls to laugh - pass this laughter off an "attraction" and teach expensive workshops where they show this "skill" several times.
They also incorporate these techniques to reinforce "laughter = creating sexual attraction" as well.
(some pick up artists do have a better than average sex life and get girls on or above their level - most do not however.)
q: Does "game" matter?
a: Outside of confidence (~social freedom) - not significantly.
Girls (and Guys) want to sleep with those whom they are most sexually (physically) attracted to. Obviously.
So that's it folks.
From time-to-time I'll cite certain PUA terms as a frame of reference but the days of talking about the "community" are basically over.
The days of mainstream community itself... are basically over.
I encourage guys to not participate in "seduction community" discussions in our forum.
Just reference this thread to whomever is still on the fence.
I haven't, won't and will not personally criticize any specific PUAs.
It doesn't really matter to us and isn't productive. Guys that want to gossip about that stuff generally have no interest in having a sex life.
Overall, believe it or not, Scotty and I have a favorable opinion of our experience within the community.
We talked about it before our last podcast.
If not for PUA - there is not GLL.
Chris is just a lawyer/personal trainer and Scotty is the bodybuilder.
Red pill guys, trapped in a blue pill world.
Arguably, the seduction community was the thing that ever happened to us.
We learned how and why it worked - and it had very little to do with "game".
We recognize, however, that the vast majority of guys were not so lucky and some of them are still searching for answers, pussy and meaning in their life.
That is why we started GLL in the first place.
The meaning behind our community, however, has completely changed and evolved in something WAY MORE SIGNIFICANT, exciting and useful - we're just making it official.
"It's About.... BUILDING.A.LIFE!"
... now who said that?
This article is very true. I just removed a post in the forum I made about a particular company in the PUA community. It's no sense saying shit about them. I had AA at the time about daytime cold approaches and basically was told I just needed...
This article is very true. I just removed a post in the forum I made about a particular company in the PUA community. It's no sense saying shit about them. I had AA at the time about daytime cold approaches and basically was told I just needed a 1-on-1 so I had sick game. Anyways, complete scam and I really believe I could do better than this particular instructor now . I still find it funny though how the head guy for that guy company sent me an email saying looks had nothing to do with it. His top instructor is 6'5, good looking, athletic build and has good style. It cracks me up how they market his "tight game" as the reason for success lol. I truly believe this instructor is good, mainly cause he's good looking to begin and has the balls to approach.
Yeah I wasn't referring to you or your post -- I actually thought your post was quite funny. haha
But yeah - take it down if you want.
What you said was 100% true, Scotty and I have seen that guy "in action".
Hey Chris and Scotty,
thanks for the advice and the GLL forum. I have started to "learn" pick-up from a major company, but long looked for resources that let me become a more sexually aggressive person - I am waaaayyy too timid in my approaches,...
Hey Chris and Scotty,
thanks for the advice and the GLL forum. I have started to "learn" pick-up from a major company, but long looked for resources that let me become a more sexually aggressive person - I am waaaayyy too timid in my approaches, and I think I found that "missing link" with your site. Thanks a lot! I am currently taking the 30-days-of discipline and the AA program and already feel like a different person. Cool.
I was wondering about the two points "availability" and "looks-threshold". How absolute are they in your experience? If Brad Pitt walks into the bar, I bet all of a sudden a girl who wasn't before is sexually available indeed. Social Status.
The practical relevance of my question:a girl I like in the bar may not be interested at first, but does that mean I should just give up and assume she is sexually not available? Later in the night, after she has seen me socialize with different people, talking to some other girls, I might have another shot at her.
Haha, glad you found it funny. Well, the head guy of the company and I had some heated email exchanges yesterday. He actually wrote me a reply like a page long trying to counter my claims, and it was super weak. I think he knew the gig was up...
Haha, glad you found it funny. Well, the head guy of the company and I had some heated email exchanges yesterday. He actually wrote me a reply like a page long trying to counter my claims, and it was super weak. I think he knew the gig was up with me anyways. We wished each other good luck though in the end and I figured it was best just to delete the thread in the forum. I definitely don't think the particular pua they were trying to set me up with could do any better than I can. I would actually bet money on it I could do way better than him with basic stuff and he can does his "game" crap all he wants lol
Actually one last comment on this and then I'm gonna stop talking about PUA's myself. I doubt you're real shocked by this either Chris. After I seen your basic guy game stuff and I just made my approaches super basic, my results dramatically...
Actually one last comment on this and then I'm gonna stop talking about PUA's myself. I doubt you're real shocked by this either Chris. After I seen your basic guy game stuff and I just made my approaches super basic, my results dramatically went up. I didn't worry about the progressions I was suppose to go through the "sets" and such lol. In fact, I felt like that fucked me up badly before because when a girl started taking about something and I thought it would throw things off like, I'd end up building comfort too early on the interaction or I'd qualify before I finished the attraction phase. One final little joke about the head guy. He's quoted saying "It's a bad idea to only approach 9's and 10's. 9's and 10's are the icing on the cake and should be treated as a reward after you've eaten the middle". Why is that? Cause a person didn't take a weekend long course for 5K that gave them a magic wand or a super powered bracelet to approach them? If you live a big city that's full of 9's and 10's and that's what you want....Why the fuck not?
this article is informative but I think some P.U artists write some good stuff about how to stay an alpha male throughout a whole relationship. Other than that it is pretty useless and I rather prefer to improve my looks than to invest time...
this article is informative but I think some P.U artists write some good stuff about how to stay an alpha male throughout a whole relationship. Other than that it is pretty useless and I rather prefer to improve my looks than to invest time to behave like a pick up artist.
I just read the "Things I knew in my 20ies PART 3 again" and you were writing: Life is not much more than about looks (IN YOUR EARLY TWENTIES). What about the other ages like early 30ies ?
We all know that looks are important for getting laid. BUT - What do you think, can looks also be very important in late twenties if someone wants a relationship with a hot woman? Have you seen hot women in their late twenties picking a guy only because of his look?
This article is spot on, the short amount of time i was in the pua community i quickly realized it was way overhyped after taking a boot camp with mystery and matador(both very well above average looking imo.) the students(dorks) would worship...
This article is spot on, the short amount of time i was in the pua community i quickly realized it was way overhyped after taking a boot camp with mystery and matador(both very well above average looking imo.) the students(dorks) would worship them And think it was their "Game" that got them laid . When in reality they just had their shit together(looks, style, confidence.) The ulgier or nerdier looking gurus that i have met and seen in action, that would use this "game " shit, would get girls laughing and talking to them for a good amount of time, but thats usually as far as it went. Then they would claim that it was because of their masterful "game" that they got the girls talking, when in reality it was because they came off feminine and non threatening and the girls were just using them for entertainment value. None of these girls would EVER have sex with them. The only girls that these gurus could lay were their looks level or below, usually 4s,5s and maybe 6s at best(what they claim to be 9s and 10s).
There's a lot of truth to this. But there are examples of less than average looking PUAs that do very well with women. The British PUAs Yad, Tom Torrero, and Nick Krauser all come to mind. Then there is Owen Cook (Tyler) who is (and was) anything...
There's a lot of truth to this. But there are examples of less than average looking PUAs that do very well with women. The British PUAs Yad, Tom Torrero, and Nick Krauser all come to mind. Then there is Owen Cook (Tyler) who is (and was) anything but good looking. Julian Foxx who was a good PUA was a homely looking dude (with a self confessed small penis no less!) And of course there was Neil Strauss himself.
I'm not denying that many PUAs are tall and good looking. However, I have known many tall good looking guys that sucked with women. But if a guy is tall, good looking and a good PUA, he can score crazy pussy. But if a guy is ordinary looking, even borderline fat, but he is good with game, he too can score crazy pussy. I have a friend 5'9" who is at least 40 pounds overweight. He fucks hot strippers constantly. He's never with an ugly woman. He has balls of steel though; ie "social freedom". He's not a PUA but just a maniac. But he knows how to make girls laugh, how to isolate them and how to escalate on them. And he's a fat, relatively ugly bastard with a damn chubby face. Blows my mind.
So I'm not disagreeing with the main point. The PUA community is peddling a lot of garbage. But it has some core value that men won't get anywhere else IMO. GLL may very well be the wave of the future though. And I do think Chris and Scotty have innovated here. They've basically taken Aaron Sleazy type pickup and applied it to daygame. Pretty awesome.
OFF TOPIC:
Chris, what would you recommend for back acne? I have no face acne at all, but my back is loaded with zits. God dammit, its killing me.
Hi Jack, regarding back acne, I had a friend in college who had terrible body acne to the extent he never took off his shirt. At one point he cut out meat and became a semi-vegetarian and his skin cleared up amazingly and he did not give off a...
Hi Jack, regarding back acne, I had a friend in college who had terrible body acne to the extent he never took off his shirt. At one point he cut out meat and became a semi-vegetarian and his skin cleared up amazingly and he did not give off a greasy smell. Perhaps cutting back on meat and eating fish would help. Good luck.
Haha, funny! I'm having some Tequila shots with my mom and sister. I showed them Scotty's pic (the one in THIS article) and asked them "Hey, what do you think about this guy?"
Sister: Well, I like his eyes, his tattos... I'd say he's an 8 out of...
Haha, funny! I'm having some Tequila shots with my mom and sister. I showed them Scotty's pic (the one in THIS article) and asked them "Hey, what do you think about this guy?"
Sister: Well, I like his eyes, his tattos... I'd say he's an 8 out of 10, I like him.
Mom: Oh, he is good looking! I like him.
Looks before game, fellas! These girls are mostly red pill, don't be fooled! Looks > "Game"
I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.
Thanks again Chris, life would suck without you.
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