The Reason Might Surprise You...
Despite popular school, underachievement is not caused by the usual suspects - lack of work ethic, lack of opportunity or lack of talent.
The reason most people don't succeed with women (or much in their lives) is far more obvious and far more pathetic.
I know what your biggest obstacle is.
It's the reason why you'll never get your sex life together or reach your "dating goals".
(whatever that means)
In fact, I'll go as far as to say -
It may be the same reason that you never have much financial success, never transform your face/body into a package that girls ask to take pictures with, never experience fucking a 19 year old hottie with a dick undeniably too fat for her pussy, or may even explain why you don't really have much fun with your life.
We'll discuss that another time though.
It's not just your problem.
In hindsight, it was my biggest obstacle too.
It was something I struggled with and still do this day, although to a far far lesser degree.
It's the reason I was a "late bloomer", the Lonesome Bodybuilder, remarkably content for being in a perpetual state of mild depression.
We need to acknowledge the cause so you don't waste your 20s and 30s and wonder, "What Happened?"
At the very least, you'll know what to blame if life doesn't work out for you.
I wish I heard it in my 20's, I would probably have 5 years of my life back.
The Comfortable Life of the Undersexed Male
(Why Most Guys Won't Get A Lot of Pussy)
So What Is The Problem?
As you sit in the comfort of your own home or apartment
reading this blog (and many others)
enjoying the free conveniences that would be considered unattainable luxuries just 5 years ago
often pondering your sexual past, reality and future...
It's time you are told the truth of why large amounts of pussy (via cold approach) will continue to evade you.
Believe it or not -
For most guys who read Good Looking Loser, it has little to do with a lack of sex appeal (Looks, Style), Social Freedom (Killer Instinct), Swag Factor (Social Skills/Status), or confidence (Sense Of Entitlement).
The problem is -
You live a comfortable life.
Perhaps you have big dreams that stress you out from time to time or some monthly bills that further irritate this anxiety.
Perhaps you may have even successfully convinced yourself that you are deeply insecure, or at least more than most guys, even though the fact is - you simply just take life more seriously.
Regardless of your socio-economic class, with a few exceptions, if you were resourceful enough to explore far enough into the deep/creepy part of the Internet and find Good Looking Loser - I'm willing to bet that you live a fairly comfortable life, with an excess of conveniences/distractions that you regularly indulge in despite vowing to be productive.
Good Looking Loser, after all, is admittedly - a distraction from what you should be doing.
Your life is simply too comfortable for you to make the necessary physical and psychological changes to really make big time changes in your sex life.
(let alone entire life)
Why stress yourself out when you can just jerk off to a girl hotter than anyone you could speak to?
Why test your self-esteem when you know it's fragile?
Why leave the house when staying home makes you feel like less of a loner?
For age 20 and 30-something men, 21st century mediocrity isn't particularly uncomfortable.
In fact - many secretly enjoy it.
Beating AA is like Beating AA
(Beating Approach Anxiety is like Beating Alcoholic's Anonymous)
Long ago, in "This Process Will Strip You Down and Make You Confront Your Real Issues", I wrote about how the otherwise simple process of walking up to the random hot girls and asking them out/trying to sleep with them will cause ALL your problems to surface and uncover how you really feel about yourself.
The Fear, though it eventually dies, will challenge your soul, it is a direct reflection of how much of a man you are or aren't.
It's just like getting sober if you've spent a half-decade or more under the influence and temporarily self-medicating your problems away - especially with hardcore drugs.
And It's so true.
Our highly unorthodox version of "self-improvement" surfaces your deepest feelings of:
- Low Self-Esteem
- Lack of Confidence
- Inferior Complex
- Childhood Trauma
- Social Ineptitude
- Resentment Toward Women
- Past Bullying
- Trust Issues
- Substance Abuse
- Sexual Inexperience
- In-Crowd/Mainstream Social Rejection
GET READY FOR IT!
The people best equipped to deal with the coming storm - already have most of their shit together.
Yet, "cold approach" is most appealing with the most fragile guys with the most problems.
They literally have no idea what the hell they just got themselves into and often "take a break" (give up) very quickly.
Mike aka "SquattingCasanova" (who I think is a really good role model, especially for Asian guys - I don't care if he talks "PUA") really understands this issue really well too.
(fyi - SquattingCasanova is not "Mike Chang", the equivalent to human spam)
He discusses a "3 month window" in which ~90% of guys will dropout or "quit".
Some will return, only to dropout within the same window. I was guilty of this 2 times (7006, 2007).
I concur with his numbers - they are completely accurate.
That is one of the reasons our Approach Anxiety Program starts off with such laughably easy drills that I demand you DO NOT SKIP the first few weeks - you need to experience successful baby steps and moral victories if you have any chance at getting good at this stuff.
Otherwise, you'll just be another statistic.
Be prepared for numerous temptations to stop or postpone talking to the bare minimum of 20 women a week. There will always be a seemingly justifiable reason.
I don't know anyone like Scotty who left his house 7 years ago to pick up girls and only returned home to fuck them or eating some protein. Literally, I don't know anyone as devoted/crazy as that. He's an outlier, a .0000001% case that hit on 30+ women a week for 7 years straight.
So just listen to me on this - your first 90 days (and entire first year) is absolutely critical.
When I revamp/upgrade the Approach Anxiety Program, my goal is to get that 90% dropout number down to about 67%.
Perhaps wishful thinking though.
9 out of 10 guys aren't successful at anything in life and having sex with 20-30+ random women a year is a game only played by the top 1% of guys.
But 9 out of 10 guys aren't reading this blog post right now.
They are busy being comfortable.
Related: "Can Everyone Beat Approach Anxiety?"
So Why Mess With a Good Thing?
Back to my point.
Instinctually and logically, your mind tries to keep your life as stress and pain-free as possible. Frankly, your mind and body won't even want to go to the gym or healthfully exercise until you program it to.
To your brain, it makes no sense to face your demons when you can comfortably suppress them.
If you have the time to read Good Looking Loser - your life is pretty comfortable.
Even if you aren't overly privileged and often the source of most of your own anxiety, you probably live a comfortable life - provided that you don't live in some failed socialist utopia.
You might argue otherwise, citing your job that you don't love or a boring social life, but overall - you know your life is pretty comfortable.
There's plenty of entertainment and material consumption to keep you from hitting rock bottom which would otherwise really force you to be accountable for those hours that just seem to fly by.
You are just comfortable enough to do what ultimately amounts to nothing and be happy with your effort.
In fact, that's the story of most people's lives.
I believe that most people actually have a decent work ethic, but are lazy at the same time.
This paradoxical life-destroying blend ultimately destroys all their dreams, one by one.
That type of comfortable approach to life isn't going to cut it if you want to be on top (and reap the benefits). And It sure isn't going to transform your mind and body to where you will get regular hot pussy.
Being scared and walking up to hot girls one-by-one (and thinking about it later) will sober you up to reality really quickly.
Every insecurity, issue or problem, past or present - will surface if you continue to proudly resist fear.
The Comfortable Life, perhaps even one that you've admirably earned, is the same reason you will never be anything but.
We've applied it to putting together a sex life so you can sleep with 2 or 3 hotties a week (my initial goal), but it's really just a metaphor for life.
To quote a wise man -
It won't be a lack of opportunity, a lack of work ethic and won't even be a lack talent that will kill most of your dreams - it's the highly comfortable, mediocre life that you are accustomed to.
In this case -
It won't be a lack of sex appeal, Social Freedom, Swag Factor or confidence that will prevent you from having all the sex that you want - it's the highly comfortable, mediocre life that you are accustomed to.
- Me again
Your life is comfortable.
You don't have to do anything heroic to survive.
And That's why you are stuck in this never-ending quagmire.
You get it now.
What To Do?
So now you know why most dreams don't come true.
And That's half the battle.
You have to be hungry and more importantly - stay hungry.
Try your best to embrace our concepts of "Nothing in Moderation", "By Any Means Necessary" and acquire an authentic disdain for the comfortable majority.
Personally, I don't really care how you do it when you start.
Maybe validation is your #1 motivator.
(that was probably mine, come to think of it)
Maybe you are one of the lucky ones who hits rock bottom.
Although rare for newbies, perhaps the authentic masculine joy of getting good pussy is genuinely your #1 motivator.
(eventually this will have to be if you are going to survive/get really good; pure validation only takes you so far)
It doesn't really matter.
If it motivates you, keeps you disciplined and ACCOUNTABLE - it's all good in my book.
It's whatever makes you tick.
Keep an accountably log in our Forum, if it helps.
Avoid Good Looking Loser at all costs, if it helps.
I don't directly teach motivation.
I don't know how.
If you aren't motivated to acquire endless streams of pussy and money by the time you are in your mid 30's (attainable, promise) - there's nothing that I can tell you that is going to convince you to really go after it.
If I think of something to say, I'll tell you though.