On the forum, the other day, "Creep" asked a good question concerning the ethics in retaining fuckbuddies in this thread- "An Honest Lay."
His question was-
"On the other hand, a guy who lets a fuckbuddy tell herself she might be able to win him over as a boyfriend might be tempted to outright lie to keep her chasing. Can a guy walk the line between being smooth and being sleazy and still get laid?"
It's probably a guarantee that you will face this issue if you beat AA and continue apply our stuff on a regular basis.
It's a high-quality problem.
You guys probably know my thoughts, my "techniques" and my history with retention.
- If not, check this out "Fuckbuddies? How To Keep Them Around (Retention!!!!)"
Let me brag for a second- it is something I am EXCELLENT at and I feel I can teach better than just about anything else. Really, I feel that way.
To this day- several of my ex-girlfriends are my long term fuckbuddies, I could be wrong but I'd guesstimate that over 60+ girls in Los Angeles would consider me their #1 option for sex if/when they are available, I have at least 1 fuckbuddy [when sexually active] in or around 13 of the top 15 major cities in the United States (exceptions: Indianapolis, IN. and San Francisco, CA.).♥
It makes traveling a pleasure and it's even better when they want to leave their city, come see me for a weekend of sex, drugs and rock n' roll in the Hills of Los Angeles. They even buy their own plane ticket and don't make me pick them up from LAX.
Most, if not all these girls think I'm a decent guy. I could be wrong though.
So anyway, I have both good perspective and a over decade of experience with retaining elite women. Even when I couldn't approach hot girls (1982-2007), I usually had a few that were trying to meet up when I came back to Washington DC, Florida, college, etc.
In terms of my own evolved ethics-
- I don't suggest lying to women, I feel it's usually unnecessary.
- I don't suggest compromising your ethics just to retain some pussy that gets angry, I feel it's usually necessary.
I don't think I've been dishonest with any of them about "how its gonna be," most of the girls are emotionally healthy and don't try use to sex to lock guys into relationships however. It certainly takes two to make it work.
At the same time, I don't feel it's justified, necessary or productive to try to have you subscribe to my ethics which are generally pretty sound for a guy that has managed multiple women. GLL might teach you how to think, but I'm not here to tell you what to think.
Ethics are 100% your decision, just keep an open mind and make sure you are getting what YOU want from your dating/sex life.
Let me tell you about someone I know who has seemingly the opposite view/techniques for retention but is quite successful.
You might find his ethics more on the total scumbag side. No, it's not Scotty this time.
Trevor knows nothing about the "pick up artist community" or any sort of structured, repeatable "game."
He just meets a ton of hot girls through a few of our shared Florida social circles.
But he too routinely hooks up with former girlfriends, multiple fuckbuddies and never seems to not have at least 1 or 2 options for sex.
Trevor rarely ever approaches girls. He admits he's not good at it. He'd tell you that there's no reason for him to "get good" at it, he might be correct.
Trevor has the typical "average guy game," he'll meet girls through his friends, give them a compliment, ask for their number, call them, take them to dinner and come back to his apartment to have a drink and watch a movie. All the while he is giving them compliments. After 2 to 4 dates, he'll fuck them.
Then he'll do it again to another girl.
He is what he calls a "serial dater," he's constantly going out with girls and dating a lot of them.
Okay, so that's not much different than the average guy that gets an above-average amount of pussy. It works. It certainly takes more of a time investment though. Trevor generally enjoys the company of these pretty hot women, so he doesn't really care. Plus he's usually sleeping with at least 1 other girl.
Amazing waistline for maintaining so much healthy natural breast tissue.
The Interesting Part
This is where it gets interesting, actually pretty funny.
Every one of these girls thinks that Trevor is trying to make them his girlfriend.
They are up for it because he has boyfriend potential (not strictly boyfriend material, see my discussion on retention) and he's a bit of a challenge since he's somewhat of a player. He's decent looking, has a good job, has lots of friends, good style, nothing about him or in his lifestyle would you consider "elite" or even "very good" but he'd make a good boyfriend for any above-average looking girl that likes country music and voted two times for George W. Bush. He gets some hotties.
So after 2 to 6 weeks- Trevor and the girl(s) decide to become boyfriend-girlfriend.
Then he'll find another girlfriend, while keeping the previous girlfriend.
Then he'll find another girlfriend, while keeping the previous two girlfriends.
Once the girls find out that he has 2-3 other girlfriends, then generally dump him. But the girls generally find out at different times. He retains his "girlfriends" anywhere from 1 day to 10 months.
Why on earth he does it this way- I have no idea.
He tried to explain it to me, "... how the fuck else am I supposed to have fuckbuddies? It's just easier have them all as girlfriends."
To Trevor it makes perfect sense.
Now, there's probably a million and one things we can say are "wrong" about it, both from an ethical standpoint and a "game" standpoint.
Trevor could care less, he's got 3 girlfriends.
Retention: By Any Means Necessary
Before you dismiss Trevor has a unethical, manipulative scumbag- hear me out.
Especially if you don't have fuckbuddies and you are already worrying "what to do" with the girls you haven't met yet.
I don't condone what he does.
In fact, I explained it wasn't even necessary but he's hardheaded as fuck even though he asked me what he should do instead.
Trevor is getting almost exactly what he wants out of his dating/sex life.
He might send a few more bucks on dinner, but who the fuck cares?
He gets laid. He gets laid again. He gets pretty hot girls. He retains them for a while.
Neither me or my friends can argue with that.
His "girlfriends" are all above-average looking, generally pretty cool and even sometimes "out of his league," from a looks perspective.
First- if you don't have fuckbuddies, don't worry about learning "retention," just beat your AA, hit up some girls online and get moving.
Second- once you get a fuckbuddy or get laid, don't be completely close-minded to handling things somewhat like Trevor. Especially if you haven't gotten laid before. The amount you can learn and grow from having sex with ONE girl several times is more than I can ever do for you.
The next logical productive step is to have as much sex as possible, not "now I need to do retention game."
Don't be close-minded to having that first girl become your girlfriend, even if you know it's not going to last forever. Just be nice to her and treat her right. If you break up, genuinely try to be the girl's friend (but don't fuck her again). Hook her up with one of your friends sometime later if you feel bad.
You have a lot to gain and the last thing you need to do is turn down easy sex and free experience.
Don't be stubborn and say, "Players don't have girlfriends. I'm a fucking player now." It's not worth it.
Having sex and gaining experience from a girl that might not be an actress or model is better than not getting any pussy whatsoever and being close-minded.
I turned down a lot of valuable experience in my early 20's that significantly impacted my development. Don't do that, especially if you don't have a lot of experience.
Again, I don't fully condone what Trevor does, but I also don't condone wanting to get experience and then turning it down.
If you have little to no sexual experience- I suggest you [at least consider] embracing "Retention: By Any Means Necessary."
It doesn't mean you have to go and get a bunch of other girlfriends, just get some experience. You can get just about all the sexual experience you need from ONE girl.
You can figure out your ethics and more ambitious goals later.
♥ About 60% of the girls are from my extended social circles. Remember- I've lived in 8 different cities and went to 6 different colleges. Several of the girls I met via cold approach however.