Plight of the Lonesome Bodybuilder - Roadblocks, My Liberation and Hope (Part III)

So What Prevents Bodybuilders From Fixing Their Shit?
(Pride, Pride, Pride x 10,000)

In Part II of our series "Plight of the Lonesome Bodybuilder", I discussed the most common problems that "The Bodybuilder" faces and offered first-step solutions.

In this section, we'll discuss why most Bodybuilders will not make any effort to fix their sex life, but also offer hope to the small percentage that are willing to admit that the antisocial lifestyle is keeping them undersexed and that their body is not scoring them tons of hot girls.

Let's begin -

With solid potential and beatable 'problems', we would think that this Bodybuilder character would be willing to make the necessary changes/social improvements to have a good sex life that he actually yearns for.

From what I have seen, unfortunately, this RARELY comes to pass.

Virtually all the "Bodybuilders" I knew in my 20's are still sexually starved in their 30's and still living the exact same life. Most are even more isolated since they are no longer in college. Some of them literally wear the same clothing.

As their 2nd decade of life ends, many become more and more frustrated that their body has not won them a pile of elite women.

Very few Bodybuilders will acknowledge that they are simply "XXL-sized Loners" who don't Get Laid nor willing take the necessary steps to fix themselves.

Though there are many explanations, a primary reason is -

Most undersexed Bodybuilders are compulsive liars living in absolute denial.

I have never been exposed to a subculture that lies as much as Bodybuilders, competitive or not.

I heard countless ridiculous stories, from countless ridiculous Bodybuilders about how they only use low/moderate doses of steroids (or being natural), their training routines, their diets, their former dominance in high school sports, how much money they make, opportunities in modeling/life that they are afforded because of their physique to having wild parties/3somes with pornstars in the middle of the day - the lying that many validation hungry Bodybuilders do would make most politicians stunned.

The biggest problem, however, is that they are never honest with themselves.

They simply won't admit the obsessive Bodybuilding life isn't getting them women.

They frown on the 'Juiced Party Boy' because he's "small" or "doesn't have the discipline" to abstain from drinking and social temptation.

The irony is - although many non-competitive Bodybuilders consider the sport/lifestyle to be self-improvement, most completely reject any other forms of self-improvement that they would greater benefit from.

Although they excel in physical stature, most Bodybuilders have so many glaring social and emotional weaknesses that they actually fall in the below-average category when popular females evaluate their options for casual sex or relationships.

There's no reason this should ever happen, Bodybuilders are extremely hard workers and look better than the average guy, but it does.

bodybuilder weak glassesAgain, the geeky thin frame glasses.

How Did I Escape the Lifestyle/Body Dysmorphia?

Although I was never 100% the stereotypical 'Lonesome Bodybuilder' with underdeveloped social skills and absolutely no life, I did have stages where I didn't Get Laid (or even meet new girls) for 5 or 10 months at a time.

Life wasn't bad though.

It's hard to say that I was even depressed.

If anything, I was too comfortable.

I had my own luxury apartment, the nice Florida sun, I had a credit card with no limit that I could put food on, I had a wonderful gym, I had a nice car and I do whatever I wanted, when I wanted.

Still, there would be WEEKS where I literally didn't speak to another human other than saying -
(I would have 3-4 hour long talks on the phone or AOL Instant Messanger with friends from back home)

Thanks. the person that swiped my keychain gym membership at the desk.

I told myself that I was "building my body" while most kids aimlessly drank their nights away.

To some extent, I was right.

To a larger extent - I was in denial that transferring colleges several times left me as a Lonesome Non-Competitive Bodybuilder with nothing in my life but steroids and an equally as boring long distance girlfriend that I would trade in a second for a hotter girl.

I finally escaped the obsession with the Bodybuilder lifestyle in 2007, but it was a gradual process.

Here's how I did it -


0:00 Make 2015 your year - this resource might be a helpful start.
2:50 Who is the 'Lonesome Bodybuilder'?
6:40 Gym life kept away from depression but kept me in denial.
8:40 Get a good body and move on
10:40 How I escaped 'Lift, Eat, Sleep'  
11:15 Terrible knee injury in 2006 in insane football game
15:05 Hair loss caused by steroids
17:00 If you trying to Get Laid, women prefer an "athletic" or "toned" bodies. (read number #18)
20:40 I thought I should be getting a lot of pussy. (Sense of Entitlement)
23:25 Admitting I couldn't talk to hot girls that I didn't know.
24:30 Found the PUA Community which gave me hope. 

So What's The Point?

The point of this series is not -

"Never go to the gym."

"A good body is worthless."

"Steroids is bad."

The point is -

The 24/7 Bodybuilder lifestyle is a recipe (excuse) for isolation and a pathetic social/sex life.

Yet, there's hope, Bodybuilders usually look better than the average guy if they aren't too much of a freakshow.

Harvest this potential, beat your approach anxiety and you'll get plenty of pussy.

And For Christ's sake - put on some current clothing that fits you.

I've seen hundreds of examples of it, including, to some degree - my own life.

For newbies - 

You should dedicate how ever long it takes, usually 12 to 18 months (if you are out of shape), with EXTREME INTENSITY, to build a body that's better than 95% of guys - a fairly easy proposition considering how the majority of people look these days.

50% of people are overweight.

Of the remaining 50% - 40% are skinny-fat.

That covers 90% of guys.

That Top 5% body is usually 8% body fat, with decent muscle size.

How strong you are doesn't matter.

Steroids will help, but they are not entirely necessary, I was plenty ripped without them at age 17-21, arguably in my attractiveness prime.

Hot or NotDrug-free body (7001-2002)
9.9 rating but a total pussy.
You don't need steroids to build an ideal body (female standards), they are still a lot of fun though.

After that, maintain that body without dedicating the majority of your day to lifting and eating.

With 4ius of HGH, high testosterone and thyroid levels - it is super easy. 
(maintaining much larger amounts of muscle is harder)

But even HRT is hardly necessary. If you simply eat less than 30 grams of carbohydrates a day - you'll stay lean.

I don't recommend it if your #1 goal is to Get Laid but - I hardly ever go to the gym these days (my goals are strictly business-related and help you make your life worth a shit) and I still have a good body and even look younger than I did years ago.

Basic 'Good Body' Maintenance Rules

I'll talk in-depth about how smart/barely active people stay pretty ripped with virtually no effort sometime, but here are some basic maintenance rules if you've built a good body and want to turn your focus to Getting Laid -

Continue to go to the gym 2 or 3 days a week for about 45 minutes each time.
(working out on an empty stomach in the morning will seriously control body fat composition)

Try to eat 3 meals a day, rather than 6 or 7 smaller meals. This will open up some time to live your life.

Don't exceed 100 grams of carbohydrates on most days. 30 grams or below is better.

Eat 150-200 grams of protein, only a slight reduction in what you were probably eating before.

Completely stay away from bullshit like sugar and trans fat.

Get your Thyroid Hormone and other hormones in 'ideal' ranges.
(Speak to a physician about this, do not order prescription medications from online pharmacies)

Accept that your "strength" will go to hell.
(Accept it - or go back to overfeeding, large doses of steroids and the undersexed 24/7 Bodybuilder lifestyle)

Stop taking high-doses of anabolic steroids that cause ugly bloating and other temporary side effects.

It's important to trust that your body will not completely fall apart.

In the picture below, I had gone to the gym 4 times in 5 months and maybe 40-50 times in the prior 2 years. I really don't work out much.

My HRT protocol, combined with a low-carbohydate, medium-unsaturated fat, high-protein diet kept the muscle on.

Strength when to hell, but who cares.

Not me.


body on HRTYou are better off being thinner than this. My point was to show that HRT can easily maintain muscle, even in-lieu of regular physical activity.

Pour Conclure

Some people have confused our mission.

My goal was NEVER to make you into a boring, socially-withdrawn Bodybuilder with emotional baggage that does nothing but go to the gym and take huge shits.

Build a good body and move on.

Although Bodybuilding, competitive or otherwise, attracts loners with emotional problems, the potential for a good sex life is definitely there.

Obviously the problems and solutions discussed in this series does not encompass ALL loner Bodybuilders, but in my experience - it applies to many.

It applied to me and I had far less baggage than most other guys relentlessly hitting the weights in hopes of a prosperous sex life.

The biggest obstacle to Bodybuilders is their own massive ego and the endless pursuit of validation/avoiding criticism.

For those who ARE READY to many changes in their life and finally get some consistent action, just remember what I said earlier -

If you talked to JUST ONE girl for every hour you spent in the gym, you would NEVER be without sex.

If YOU are, in full or in part, the 'Bodybuilder' character I describe (I was) and want a REAL SEX LIFE -

It is time to start being honest with yourself and stop hiding from your problems by going to the gym and pretending you "getting better" with women.

It will be the best decision you ever make.

Even if you apply just half the enthusiasm to 'Getting Laid' that you dedicate to Bodybuilding - you will get plenty of pussy.

As I look back my years as 'The Bodybuilder' (7000-2006), I don't consider them "wasted" years. Not even the massively juiced years (7003-2006).

These years built a work ethic, a body and set the table for enormous success with women once I stopped being afraid of talking to hot girls.

You might be in a similar position if you are a Gym Rat too - plenty of pussy awaits if you can make some changes.

Being honest with yourself is the first step.

I appreciate you reading this long series.

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