Why "Bodybuilders" Struggle With Women
(and what to do about it)
Welcome to our 3-part series specifically aimed at "Bodybuilders".
If you consider yourself a "Bodybuilder" but can Get Laid a lot or you don't want to for some reason (and you aren't lying), you can largely ignore this.
If you consider yourself a "Bodybuilder" and have a slew of hot fitness girls trying to go out with you, you can largely ignore this.
You are not among the majority.
I discuss "Why Bodybuilders Hardly Ever Get Laid" in Part II.
Before we begin, it's important to define "Bodybuilder" and to whom I am referring.
"Plight of the Lonesome Bodybuilder - Full Audio"
Who is this "Bodybuilder" to whom I am referring?
This character refers to any semi-loner who is tirelessly working on his body but has no ambitions of actually competing or playing collegiate/professional sports. His "training" and obsession with his body is solely in the hopes of attracting women and feeling superior to lesser anabolic males.
It doesn't matter if the Bodybuilder is natural or juiced.
Chances are, this character won't be an EXACT match for most guys.
There are many shades of gray which will characterize this isolated lifestyle that so many loners are drawn to.
Although not an exact replica, I bared resemblance to this character ever since I started lifting weights at age 16, right up until I shifted "the gym" to my one of my far lesser priorities in 2007. It has remained there since.
Along the way, I met plenty of guys that were the epitome of "The Undersexed Bodybuilder" - a highly motivated, highly disciplined, progressively more lonesome character using non-competitive bodybuilding as his excuse to forgo a normal social life, in hopes of one day attracting his loyal dream girl(s).
Again - I am not referring to the 'Competitive Bodybuilder' who actually does competitions and 'pussy' is actually not one of his primary motivators.
(many competitive bodybuilders would rather Get Laid than win competitions though)
I am also not referring to the 'Juiced Party Boy' who has a social life, parties often, drinks/smokes cigarettes socially and has plenty of friends.
I'm referring to the guy that is a loner, follows a 24/7 Bodybuilder lifestyle and has the secret agenda of "getting girls" as the primary reward from his hard work.
I'm referring to the guy that claims he is "against drinking" (and party culture) because it will lower his natural testosterone for 18 hours and cost him "gains", a moot point if he is taking steroids.
He often considers himself "too good" for health clubs where members aren't hardcore non-competitive Bodybuilders. Yet, ironically, he hates on other bigger/smaller Bodybuilders that follow his exact same lifestyle.
He is the "gym rat", has no social life and lives in his head.
He finds comfort and esteem in his never-ending competition of being bigger and stronger than other guys.
He turns to bodybuilding as a vehicle to ward off depression and remain in denial.
(physical activity is a wonderful means of treating depression, many including myself have found success, but some never move on and become very one-dimensional. And Still don't Get Laid)
Post cycle therapy (or cruising) periods are tough because he simply has nothing to do beside daydream about his next cycle and read various anabolic forums.
And the most obvious sign of all -
He'll be at the gym at 10pm on a Friday night. Alone.
(many Bodybuilders go to the gym during low-traffic hours to avoid social anxiety/talking to people)
Bodybuilders Have Really Good Potential
(if they don't have too many emotional problems)
Before I dissect "The Lonesome Bodybuilder" and anger countless near-perfect examples, I want to express some optimism to whom this may concern.
The Bodybuilder has a lot of potential and if his problems don't run too deep - he'll be getting plenty of pussy once he can do a slightly above-average job of talking to random girls.
Scotty and I are living proof of this.
Within about a year of starting "pick up", both of us had multiple fuckbuddies.
Let's talk about that potential.
Fitness Girls Already Like the Bodybuilder
Although many hot, popular party girls don't feel the same way - the Bodybuilder usually has first dibs on fitness/gym girls and other chicks into the lifestyle.
Many fitness girls (and all heterosexual female bodybuilders) feel his body type is ideal, so long as he isn't too much of a freak.
They are also sympathetic of the emotional struggles that anabolics, relative body dysmorphia and strict dieting bring.
After all, they are basically the same person but have a vagina.
There's plenty of fitness girls that are MEGA HOT and I encourage Bodybuilders to leverage this advantage.
A good looking Bodybuilder with decent social freedom and social skills will have his pick of almost any single-and-available fitness girl at his gym. Cougars, as a distant 2nd option, also like younger Bodybuilders and can somewhat take the lead if the Bodybuilder doesn't know what to do.
To consistently score hot non-fitness girls, however, there's usually some changes that Bodybuilder will need to make.
The Bodybuilder Already Has a Good Body and Looks Masculine
Although the impact of "body" on sex appeal to women is overrated, it offers the Bodybuilder a decisive advantage over the average, underweight, skinny-fat guys that are looking for dating advice on the Internet.
The Bodybuilder usually has good posture, looks healthy (if not too big) and masculine characteristics from years of dedication.
If he's not too much of a freak and has a decent FashionIQ, the Bodybuilder will stand out - in a good way.
This will all serve him well if he makes the conscious attempt to go after pussy.
The Bodybuilder Often Feels Superior to Non-Gym Male Folk
This subject runs deep and is quite complex. I will explore the negative flipside of the matter later on. (see problem #9)
Many Bodybuilders feel they are superior to less active, less anabolic males.
On paper, this should be a good thing, they should have a greater 'Sense of Entitlement' to hot pussy than normal guys.
Some legitimately feel this superiority and have a strong Sense of Entitlement to hot pussy.
But MOST don't and their constant comparisons and evaluation of other male's physiques is simply evidence of their own major insecurities.
It's a mixed bag and it's hard to know which Bodybuilders actually have an authentic 'Sense of Entitlement' and who is pretending.
Most are pretending.
The Bodybuilder Has Major Juxtaposition Potential
This may not make sense unless you have read the extremely popular and often-referenced discussion -
Basically, the Bodybuilder can easily become this multidimensional, sexy guy that can easily retain hot girls if he expands beyond the gym into other less stereotypically masculine hobbies/goals.
Here are some examples -
- The Bodybuilder that travels and is trying to be an actor.
- The Bodybuilder that plays the piano and volunteers to help special needs children.
- The Bodybuilder with tattoos that is in medical school to become a cosmetic surgeon.
- The Bodybuilder that knows how to dance and has an excellent sense of fashion.
- The Bodybuilder that can actually have meaningful conversation with non-bodybuilders.
These examples present 100x more 'boyfriend potential' (critical to retaining fuckbuddies) than -
- "The Bodybuilder that is in the gym when he's not in the kitchen"
- "The Bodybuilder that has absolutely no life"
- "The Bodybuilder that can barely speak"
Most Bodybuilders, competitive or not, never invest their time in anything other than the gym and typical areas unfortunately.
While the "Dumb Jock" stereotype doesn't apply to most Bodybuilders (they are usually more intelligent than the average guy), the "Boring Bodybuilder" stereotype is often completely appropriate.
The Bodybuilder Is Incredibly Disciplined
Whether it's obsession fueled by insecurity or genuine dedication and a love for lifestyle - even the non-competitive Bodybuilder who silently wants pussy is admirably disciplined.
He is willing to put his body under tremendous amounts of pain and stress because he believes that it will, one day, pay off in a hot sex life and endless worship from both genders.
He is willing to structure his life in order to eat 6+ meals, macro-nutrients precisely calculated, timed 2.5 to 3.5 hours apart and spend 2+ hours a day in the kitchen while still attending to his other commitments.
He is willing to do this EVERYDAY for years on end.
(how in the hell I did this - I have no idea... the mind is a powerful weapon)
This tireless work ethic (or madness) is admirable and should serve him well if he ever really dedicates himself to Getting Laid.
The Bodybuilder has potential with girls.
Whether he realizes or harvests this potential is a completely different story.
To quote the legendary college basketball coach, Robert (Bobby) "The General" Knight -
Potential only means that you haven't done shit.
We prefer to take a more positive view however.
Like I tell anyone who even semi-resembles this Lonely Bodybuilder character -
If you talk to JUST ONE girl for every hour you spent in the gym, you would NEVER be without sex.
It's true and is worth repeating -
If you talk to JUST ONE girl for every hour you spent in the gym, you would NEVER be without sex.
For many, THAT is the take home message.
The potential is there, stay ripped (sub 8%) and under 205lbs unless you are over 6 foot 2.
(I've picked up chicks when I was 165lbs, all the way up to 242lbs. This is what I've learned.)
Unfortunately, very few Bodybuilders ever take advantage of this potential.
Most waste away their 20's in denial and succumb to the most common problems that Bodybuilders face with the opposite sex -
Questions or comments can be left in Part 3 of this series.
More extensive questions or requests for feedback are best left in our forum.