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You're a Player...
When you start to reek Swag Factor and/or become above-average looking with social skills, you will eventually face potentially damning charges -
YOU'RE A PLAYER.
That's right.
And It might happen a lot.
Even if you aren't actually a player and are trying to hit up a girl that is significantly less attractive/cool than you are.
It will happen with fuckbuddies that you haven't given enough emotional progress.
It's even happened to me on camera -
(ironically it's NOT usually the younger girls, like in these examples)
In general, it's not a bad thing though.
Let me tell you why.
Why You Are Being Accused of Being a "Player"
(and Why it's a Good Thing 98% of the Time)
It's helps to understand why you are facing these accusations and why it's definitely not a bad thing most of the time.
Take it as a compliment.
The girl bringing the accusations - LIKES YOU.
Dorky, pushover nice guys without sex appeal never get accused of this.
Once you look like a secure, confident guy, with social skills and sex appeal - you will eventually be accused of being a "player". Girls see you as a desirable guy, if even just for 1 night.
And There will be general consensus.
(I was considered a "player" based solely on looks - long before I actually was)
You definitely want to look closer to a "player" (sexually-active good guy with boyfriend potential) or "scumbag" (hardcore player with no/limited boyfriend potential) than "boyfriend material" (total nice guy, provider) if you want a hot sex life.
See profiles of these guys here -
Fairly or unfairly, girls stereotype "players" (or scumbags) to be sexually-active and potentially really good in bed. They are sexy and a challenge since they have plenty of options. And generally seem like they have a fair amount of experience.
They think of "boyfriend material" (nice guys) as the polar opposite - not sexually-active, inexperienced with limited options.
Boyfriend material is a guy who's sole responsibility is to provide a safe boyfriend/husband, money, house, 2 children, mini-van, white picket fence, dog and bags to clean up the dog shit.
But that's not you.
YOU'RE A PLAYER.
You have options and you often sample those options.
You only call back the options that satisfy you.
Safe guys don't have options.
YOU'RE A PLAYER.
Be happy you're not mistaken for a total nice guy boyfriend/husband material who largely repulses sexually-active/DTF girls who are looking for a confident guy to fuck them good.
Sexually-active girls know that nice guys are almost always awkward in bed (and even step in-between).
For every satisfying fuck they've had from a man's cock, they've had 3 or 4 awkward experiences (or non-experiences) with a timid nice guy that couldn't pull the trigger.
Nice guys can barely initiate a conversation with women they are interested in.
They are scared to touch the girls that they are able to speak to.
They can't even say the word "sex" or "breasts" without their little dicklet retracting inside their body just before emitting a little pee-pee.
What on earth suggests that they will even know how to undress a girl, let alone - give her an orgasm?
Maybe some of these statements are exaggerations but -
Even nice guys know that hot girls rather fuck "bad boys".
You know that too.
You're a player.
And The fact that you're a player makes you a challenge.
The hottest girls love the challenge of converting a lifelong-player into loyal boyfriend while sharing their pussy for months on end while accepting "fuckbuddy" status.
But SOMETIMES...
-Your player status can make you seem unattainable-
Particularly to girls that are Sexually Available (but not necessarily DTF).
These girls aren't necessarily ONLY looking for boyfriends, they are just intelligent (from experience) and don't want to get emotionally attached to guys that ultimately have no interest in them.
This is particularly true of girls that are 25 years old or older.
Intelligent, single, sexually-active girls often think twice about getting emotionally invented/signing on for fuckbuddy status (or even a one-night stand) with a guy if they know they have no chance of keeping him.
Older girls (25+) aren't naive and generally (at least subconsciously) looking for a relationship down the line.
But again, if you are trying to getting laid (or even if you are looking for a relationship) - you want to be seen as a player/scumbag that has options who is a going to be a challenge to lock down.
Not a "boyfriend/husband material/provider" pushover.
Girls will fight to keep you and you will have a loyal girlfriend if they win you over.
(this dynamic is usually the complete opposite - guy chases girl 100% of the time and begs for an official relationship)
Now that you know where the player accusations come from and what it all means, lets talk about what to do if you face "player" accusations.
How to Diffuse Player Accusations
(Without Making a Big Deal of It)
As you know, we aren't big on techniques but here are two that can be effective even though they have limitations.
If you are accused of being a player - treat it like a joke.
Instead -
Accuse Her (and her Mom) of Being a Player (Lighthearted)
(use on new girls)
This is what I generally do, it's basically a automatic trigger.
I was caught a bit off-guard (it's rare to hear this when you just meet a girl, let alone a young girl) but I have a near-automatic trigger for this.
Example @ 15:35
<iframe src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/80028493" width="500" height="281" frameborder="0" webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen></iframe> <p><a href="https://vimeo.com/80028493">How to Pick Up a Shy Girl and Take Her Home</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/goodlookingloservimeo">Good Looking Loser</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>
Basically - just have fun with it, neither admit or deny it.
Diffuse the situation by making it a funny situation.
Since it's a funny situation, the girl can't "hate" you for it.
But more importantly -
You can call this a "shit test" or whatever you want, it doesn't happen too often and it's a sign that the girl is at least somewhat interested.
Nothing to panic about, even if you don't give the "right" answer.
Just don't try to completely duck these things.
It wouldn't even hurt to text the girl later on -
What up playa
Absurdify the Situation (Lighthearted)
(use on new girls)
This comes from my days in the seduction community (BradP, he gets girls).
When you are accused of being a player, pretend to accept the blame and then make absurd claims -
You're right, I'm a player. I've slept with 4514 girls and you'll be the next.
Even if you're not, I have another girl lined up after you leave.
In fact, if you hang around until 10 pm - we can all fuck and I'll be at 4516.
or
I'm not only a player but I'm a total prostitute.
That's what my mom calls me.
Did you know that?
I literally made money for every girl I fuck.
$50 for a blowjob. $100 for penis in vagina. $250 if I put my dick in a butthole.
And An added bonus of another $250 if you put my dick in your afterward.
It's a pretty good gig. Definitely better than my old job where I would only earn $20 for fondling my asshole on webcam for a bunch of guys.
or
How dare you call me a player.
I'm totally offended.
All you people judge me and it's not fair.
I'm actually a very nice boy and I'm very sensitive.
Just ask my Mom.
One day - I want to meet someone.
Maybe I want to meet someone too.
I want to meet someone that doesn't judge me and calls me awful names.
If the girl has even half a functioning brain, she'll realize that you are joking and generally let the player accusations go for the night.
It's just another lighthearted way to skip over the subject.
Like I said - most girls will drop the issue for the night.
Limitations of These Lighthearted Techniques
These two techniques can be effective but they have their limitations.
Unfortunately, I only realized this after the fact.
I have definitely lost 3 girls by not knowing how to handle this situation. One was one of the hottest girls I've ever even spoke to. I remember it well and I was furious that the 2nd technique didn't work and no one could offer a solution (see below).
The primary limitation is -
Although it's funny and can bypass the issue -
It doesn't change the girl's mind.
She still thinks you may be unattainable and is weary about getting emotionally/sexually involved with you and getting hurt in the end.
Therefore, she is unlikely to spend time with you and even more unlikely to share her pussy.
To some extent, you have to change the girl's mind.
You don't have to convince her you are "innocent", just "not guilty".
Meaning - that you have some boyfriend potential and you aren't totally against relationships.
The technique (patented by Good Looking Loser) will do just this.
How to Diffuse Player Accusations
(Serious Good Looking Loser Technique)
I suggest trying one of the other two methods first.
You can go here first though but this is mainly once you are sure the girl definitely likes you.
It's powerful.
I'm Disappointed in You (Serious, Not a Joke)
(Use on Fuckbuddies that are considering breaking it off)
If you face player accusations, it's time to put your foot down and destroy these absolutely ridiculous accusations.
Just so you know - I've have done this several times before.
You aren't using something that I haven't used effectively.
When a girl/fuckbuddy accuses you being a player, address it immediately.
Here is how the "serious" technique sounds (@3:45)
Tell her that you are disappointed in her -
(adjust it accordingly if you just met the girl)
I'm so disappointed in you.
Are you serious? That's where your mind has been?
I've been really enjoying the time we've spent together and didn't know you were JUDGING ME the entire time. Please tell me that you are kidding because this is completely messed up.
and then
You are an attractive girl too, I never once stereotyped you for being a party girl♥ who sleeps around a lot. Never once.
And Even if you did in the past - I would give you the benefit of the doubt. I don't judge.
I take every relationship, friend, family member in my life at face value and form my opinion of a person's character based on my personal experience.
optional:
I was actually picturing a future with you but I don't know about that anymore.
♥ - Don't say "slut". Just don't, okay?
OUCH.
You probably see what I'm doing here.
It's a HUGE GUILT TRIP.
(I don't mind endorsing this - this stuff is ridiculous and men need all the ammunition they can get against this bullshit)
Not only does the girl think you're not a player/no longer a player, she feels completely awful for even raising the issue.
IT WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN until she pings you for "relationship status" after you've been fucking her for months and she totally digs you.
This is straight from the book of Good Looking Loser and I've never had a girl that wouldn't back down.
It's dynamite and as foolproof as a technique could be.
Though it's primarily made to handle accusations from girls you just met/been sleeping with for a short time, you could potentially use this technique when a fuckbuddy wants to have "the talk" and wants to "define the relationship" or get you to commit to something you aren't yet interested in.
Just adjust it accordingly - I think you get how this works.
If you have any other ways (that you've actually used) to diffuse "Define/Determine the Relationships" (DTR) discussions or "Player Accusations", drop them below.
We can never have enough ammo against this type of thing.
Great post,
I've got this a lot over the last few years and have a couple of my own standards that I go to, although I haven't thought of the guilt trip one, that seems powerful, will add to my arsenal. Here are my go to's, all but the last are...
Great post,
I've got this a lot over the last few years and have a couple of my own standards that I go to, although I haven't thought of the guilt trip one, that seems powerful, will add to my arsenal. Here are my go to's, all but the last are said with a shit eating grin:
Line Of Questioning:
Why? Are you a jealous girl? Wow you're one of those super jealous girls aren't you?
Frame Reversal:
Me? You're the player, you've been eyefucking me all night, you're a sexual predator, my mom warned me about girls like you
Exaggeration:
Ya, I'm the worst kind, I'm going to break your heart and fuck all your friends
Ignore:
Haha, you're funny
Intentional Misinterpretation:
Ya I play lots of games, Call Of Duty, GTA, I'm a big player
Vagueness:
I like to have fun
Honesty:
Yep
Feigned Offense:
How dare you insult my honor like that?
Serious:
Look when I'm single I date a lot, and its not often that I find a girl who is special to me. But when I find that right girl, I'll put everything else to the side, being in love means more to me than any random girl.
Damn... the genius of the serious approach. It's like the kind of thing you know in the back of your mind and when someone puts it on paper it clicks right away. Any kind of rebuttal to that would just be an escalation to a full blown squabble,...
Damn... the genius of the serious approach. It's like the kind of thing you know in the back of your mind and when someone puts it on paper it clicks right away. Any kind of rebuttal to that would just be an escalation to a full blown squabble, and contrary to popular belief I think most girls actually desperately want to avoid that with a guy they really like.
What happens if you just agree that you're 'a bit of a player'.
I've told girls I'm seeing that I'll be seeing other girls cos I wanted be super honest or whatever. I slept with 3 girls I told that story to for 6 months each until they started...
What happens if you just agree that you're 'a bit of a player'.
I've told girls I'm seeing that I'll be seeing other girls cos I wanted be super honest or whatever. I slept with 3 girls I told that story to for 6 months each until they started to like me. I probably turned off some girls too though... I don't remember any who told me that was why though.
Awesome post GLL, best website on the internet
This is a huuuuuuuuge problem for me, especially if i meet them on the streets.
i try reversing the script? I'm a playa? Well I hope "you don't give out your number to just random people you meet on the street".
or i say "yeah I Wiiiiiiiiiiish...
This is a huuuuuuuuge problem for me, especially if i meet them on the streets.
i try reversing the script? I'm a playa? Well I hope "you don't give out your number to just random people you meet on the street".
or i say "yeah I Wiiiiiiiiiiish i was a playa"
but my success rates are abysmal given my approach rates. less than a handful per hundred approaches (in terms of day 2s) is not very high. so there's a lot i'm doing wrong. I want to focus on making a strong emotional connection with a girl. that's my goal now.
Chris, I ran into a problem with this recently and could use some advice. I am in a first years grad class and a girl from my second class was out with me, my boy, a girl from my class. I was trying to get at this chick and she was definitely in...
Chris, I ran into a problem with this recently and could use some advice. I am in a first years grad class and a girl from my second class was out with me, my boy, a girl from my class. I was trying to get at this chick and she was definitely in that 25 years of age range. Both of her roomates have BF's and she is only who didn't. Anyways, I know that the chick in my class would have told her of my reputation for pulling club chicks so not sure if that worked in my favor or not but she didnt give me anything to realize where I was at with her throughout the night. She wasnt letting me dirty dance with her much less talk with her 1 on 1 thorughout the night so I chose to hit on other chicks. And then she asks me at the end of the night if I could buy her the late night drunk food. I said no (I would have but she didn't give me jack shit to make me think I was getting anything). Anyways it would have been a no-brainer that Im not that kind of guy to buy girls shit unless I'm getting somewhere with them so I have this nagging thought that if I bought it she would have seen me as potential relationship dude and I could have gotten it in which is kind of the category you just specified. What are your thoughts cause I have no experience with these kind of chicks, usually I just screen them out like you do but would you ever buy a girl her drink/food if you havent necessarily progressed?
I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.
Thanks again Chris, life would suck without you.
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