Masturbation: A Female's Perspective
Meet Lexy, she's my homie that is going to tell you a little about her sex life and discuss women's sexually issues.
If you must know, she often gets told she looks like nicer/sweeter version of Valerie from 90210 who was played by Tiffani-Amber Thiessen.
While it's impossible to generalize EVERY female based on Lexy's testimony, I think you can make a lot from it because there are so many girls like her (you have to leave your house to find them however). Young, ambitious and also realize their early 20's is also about having fun. She's a pretty, happy girl that wouldn't strike you as a naughty girl or even one that you can picture touching herself.
She graduated from the University of California - San Diego (notable because a lot of guys think that- ALL girls who talk about their sexuality must be dumb)
The only difference between Lex and the millions of girls her age is - she's willing to talk about her sexuality.
Good Looking Loser
Did you ever wonder if most girls masturbate, or what females think about while masturbating?
I hope you have because I'm going to share my secrets with you – let you inside my female mind.
Before I talk about masturbation, I'd like to tell you about me.
I'm Lexy, and I'm 22. I am an aspiring actress living in Santa Monica – a Leo – and I love having orgasms now that I can have them. Unlike Christopher, I'm quite stressed and orgasms are like a drug to me – intoxicating – exhilarating – addictive.
You know what I mean, right?
I’d probably strike you as a “nice girl” but one who parties a little bit; I don’t get tagged with the “slut” designation by any mean. Not that I care unless it's someone I'm close to.
Not to sound boring but I’m probably just your normal girl who like everyone else- wants to feel pretty, respected and loved. I have two main social circles, girls that I go to auditions with, we root for each other, get appetizers and party, and my gym/pilates social circle since I teach that on the side at Equinox (that’s where I met Chris if he didn’t tell you). I'm also a server at a restaurant here, but I'm not too tight with the staff since I'm the "new girl".
I’m pretty open about my sexually compared to most girls, but I’m not bi-curious and I don’t really “sleep around,” per definition. Not that there is anything wrong with that. My first six months in Los Angeles I did, not as much anymore. At the same time, I never thought I’d be writing this for anyone, I like the idea though and will try to be super open.
Chris says it’s important that I’m honest and not worry about what people think since that is why topics like this are so taboo. Girls and guys are judgmental, even though they do the same thing they are looking down on.
So, let me answer some questions for you.
How Sexually Active are Females? (Ages 18-22)
I cannot speak for all females, but I can tell you how sexually active I am right now.
Lately, I've had one fuck buddy most of the year. He has to be edgy (I love a man with tattoos), and absolutely must make me have an orgasm. Unlike some girls that develop a taste for edgy guys, I’ve always had one. I’m not “edgy” however.
I wouldn’t consider myself a “size queen” but in a no-strings-attached relationship I’m definitely partial to a guy with a big penis. This is somewhat unique but most girls prefer a guy be above-average regardless. The rest of the year I'm single. This gives me the opportunity to explore, and meet other guys. I'm not going to tie myself down to one man right now, especially if he's not my boyfriend. Most girls, my age, in entertainment feel the same way.
From ages 17-22, I slept with about 3 guys a year. Since moving with Los Angeles 22 months ago, it’s closer to 5 a year. Although I’m cutting that back because I’m more committed to my pursuits in acting than ever.
I would gather that most girls my age that are part of the clubbing scene (as a 2nd commitment to entertainment) and have at least one group of friends have similar resumes.
Do Most Girls Masturbate?
Most girls masturbate for sure.
I would estimate that 90 percent of females between 18-30 masturbate. Honestly, all of my girls masturbate. Nearly all of us are social and sexually active though. I’m sure there are 10 percent that absolutely don’t, but those aren’t the girls that I know.
When You Masturbate, What do You Think About?
When I first begin masturbating, I usually think about having an orgasm.
Maybe that sounds funny…
However, once I begin, my mind will begin to wander. Many times a hot guy I know will pop into my mind. Maybe I saw him that day or maybe it’s from some television show (I have a thing for WWE wrestlers, don’t laugh!).
Most often, I imagine him picking me out of the crowd right in front of other girls, taking me to a hotel room, the beach or somewhere nice, fucking me hard and deep, and I tell him out loud to make me cum (I’m a talker!). I also tell him to cum in me. I grasp my bed sheets when I am close to having an orgasm because I am so sexually aroused.
If I'm seeing a guy that I'm really excited about, I'll masturbate to him.
In my opinion, it's not necessarily a bad sign if I'm not masturbating to my boyfriend or fuck buddy. Once I'm in the moment with that guy, it feels so much better to have sex with him.
Sometimes I like to make it last longer, so I'll stop myself from having an orgasm until later. I pull the vibrator out before I can climax, so I can continue to pleasure myself. This results in a stronger orgasm. Many times when I do this, I will begin thinking of one guy, and then think of another one when I put my vibrator back in. It's very exciting to be with more than one man in my mind.
I usually take off all my clothes too. I want to make it feel like I'm really getting fucked. I squeeze my breasts and ass, but pretend the guy I'm thinking about is doing the touching.
What Do Girls Use to Masturbate? – How Often do Girls Masturbate?
Girls masturbate in several places! ;)
A girlfriend introduced me to water masturbation when I was in sixth or seventh grade. It felt good, but I didn't have an orgasm.
When I first started having sex at age 17 (late bloomer, I think) I found I couldn’t have an orgasm.
I mean, I definitely enjoyed it, and it felt good. I just couldn't get over the edge like I wanted to. I wouldn’t hold it against my fuckbuddy or boyfriend. I wouldn’t fake it either, I would just tell him it felt great! (because it did!)
I've tried a few methods when masturbating, and I finally found a toy that could make me have an orgasm. My shiny pink vibrator has never let me down. It hits my G spot – and it is so hard and big. My fingers never did what a vibrator can do. Now, I can also have a clit orgasm under the bathtub faucet during water masturbation, but I still prefer my vibrator.
Girls masturbate quite a lot!
When I am single, I masturbate between 1-3 times a week.
Still, sometimes it is more often. It is usually only once a day, but sometimes it is twice in one day. I just go with how I am feeling. It depends how horny I am. If my sex drive is high, for some reason, I masturbate. If something turns me on like a story I read, or something I see online, I get sexually aroused and want to masturbate. I love reading Playgirl online and erotic stories when I have the time, and this can get me horny as hell! (I'm into the stories more than the pictures)
If I am at home and get sexually aroused, I don’t stop myself. If my roommate “Mandy” is home, I just find somewhere to do my thing in private. But, if “Mandy” is also horny, or talking about some guy, we masturbate together (more on this later – you'll have to wait). It’s a unique relationship that I’m not sure if all girls have.
If I have a boyfriend or fuck buddy, I still masturbate if he is not available when I want it. It's not as often, of course, but I would say about once a week. If I get to fuck him every day, I don't usually feel the need to masturbate that week.
How Long Does It Take You To Have an Orgasm When Masturbating?
If I purposely stop myself to make it last longer, it can last up to 30-40 minutes. Otherwise, I'd say it takes about 15-20 minutes. However, sometimes I am really horny, and it only takes 10 minutes. When I want it bad, I feel like I'm going to die if I don't have an orgasm.
Where Do You Masturbate?
I have masturbated on my bed, my couch, the floor, in the bathtub and in my bathroom. My favorite place is the bed though. I like to be on top when it comes to masturbation, so I'll usually lay on a pillow, and push the bottom up over my ass to keep the vibrator in place. I don't stick to one position, however. Sometimes I sit up as if I'm riding my imaginary guy, or let him be on top for a while.
When Girls Masturbate, Do They Think About Two Guys Fucking Them?
Or Being With Another Woman?
Sometimes when I masturbate, I fantasize about having a threesome.
My fantasy is being with a hot guy and a sexy girl. Not just any female will do. She has to have a certain look and personality I am tempted by. Sometimes, I will create her in my mind.
Other times, I will think about a girl I have seen, met or know.
My ideal girl has long hair – is thin with curves – daring and outgoing. I'm not attracted to just any girl. I wouldn’t say I’m bi-curious, this is just a fantasy that comes and goes. There has to be a man involved.
I think about kissing her – feeling and sucking her breasts – tugging her hair – inserting my finger in her pussy – and slowly moving my finger all the way in, and almost all the way out to get her wet. The guy watches us and gets aroused. He puts his cock in her and fucks her while I watch and wait patiently for my turn. Then, she watches as his dick (my vibrator) goes in and out of my pussy until we both have an orgasm. I tug on my own hair while I am fucking my fantasy guy too. I love it when a guy tugs my hair while fucking me.
My friend Lizzy, my partner in crime that keeps the immature Hollywood pretty boys away from me, thinks about two guys fucking her while she masturbates. She told Mandy and me that the thought of one guy fucking her in the ass, and another fucking her pussy totally turns her on. Mandy and I don't like anal sex, but we don't judge Lizzy. It's just not our thing. And just in case you are wondering, we have tried it. You can't say you don't like something if you haven't tried it at least once. Every girl has different preferences when it comes to anal sex.
Even after telling you guys all this, it’s not like we talk about this much. It might get brought up on a girl’s night over some wine (well… a lot of wine). There’s a misconception that girls that are pretty open with their sexually are always talking about it. It’s not true.
Do Girls Masturbate in a Group or With a Guy Watching?
The obvious answer is – it depends upon the girl, and some girls masturbate in a group or with a guy watching.
But, I have a better answer!
So, you remember my roommate Mandy...
Well, if we are both horny, we masturbate together. It started out as a one-time thing. We were drinking wine (I think it was Chardonnay) and watching a movie that had a lot of sex scenes. One glass of wine turned into two – three – four – possibly more. I told Mandy I was getting horny, and was very giggly that night.
Unexpectedly, she leaned over and grabbed my breasts. She giggled back with that pretty smile of hers, and asked me if I wanted to “dehorn” myself. We ended up watching each other masturbate with our vibrators. For a while, we took care of each other at the same time. So, that kind of broke the ice. Now, if I am in the mood to masturbate, I ask Mandy if she wants to join, and she asks me as well. This all started as a joke too!
I have also masturbated with a man's help. I let him take charge of my vibrator and my pussy to please me. This was because he came first, so he finished me off with my vibrator. The sex was hot, and he was great in bed. He just came too soon. Honestly, most girls who enjoy sex, who aren’t looking for a boyfriend, aren't going to have sex with a man again if he doesn't please her in the end. It is disappointing. So, if you take care of a girl, she will want to fuck you again. Ideally, you let her cum first, but it is not a deal breaker if you make up for it. ;)
After Girls Masturbate, How Fulfilled do They Feel?
I feel fulfilled after masturbating; however, it is not the same as having sex with a man.
It's not as fulfilling.
To fantasize is one thing, but the act of actually being with a man – feeling his hard cock – and touching his body is much more pleasing. I have not been able to have multiple orgasms when masturbating either, but can with a real man. I think you can compare it to a guy masturbating. Think about yourself. Are you more fulfilled after masturbating or after fucking a girl? I am guessing you chose the second option. Well, it is the same for a female.
When Girls Masturbate, Do They Watch Pornography?
I don't watch pornography when I masturbate.
Occasionally, I will watch it first to get turned on.
If I’m in the right state of mind, seeing a man's thick cock always makes me do a double-take and watching him give pleasure to someone else (since I know how that feels!) can set the mood for a good orgasm, but I don't do it all that often.
Do Girls Talk to Their Friends About Masturbating?
Yes, girls talk to their friends about masturbating. You know Mandy and I do!
My friends and I compare our methods, and talk about the color – size – and shape of our sex toys. My friends masturbate at least once a week, but like me, they masturbate up to three times a week. Again, it depends if they have a guy, a fuck buddy, their mood, or if they are single at the time.
This is pretty close bond we have, Los Angeles is big and scary, Hollywood is cutthroat, so we are pretty tight. If I didn’t talk to them about it, I would talk with my best friend from back home. Every girl who masturbates has at least one person she speaks to about it.
What is the Difference Between Girls Who Masturbate & Girls Who Don't?
Well, my opinion is that girls who don't masturbate are totally missing out. Girls who don't masturbate aren't usually sexually active – again, they are missing out! I view them as uptight and inexperienced.
I mean – we're not 12 anymore.
It's alright to have sex. LOL!
I am completely comfortable with my body and sexuality. Sex is enjoyable, but I've heard of girls who don't enjoy it. I think it is a matter of knowing how to enjoy it. You have to let go – live in the moment – feel sexy. Some girls just aren’t there I suppose.
When Girls Masturbate, Does it Help Them Get Off During Sexual Intercourse?
Hell yeah! ;) I couldn't have an orgasm until I began masturbating.
I had to get comfortable in my own skin – feel myself – know how to let go – discover my G spot. Now I feel completely sexy, and don't feel uncomfortable having sex with a man. I am confident, and comfortable about the fact that I enjoy sex.
If I am fucking a guy, and he isn't hitting my G spot just right, I can move my legs – rearrange my body – or pull him deeper into me. If a guy wants me to ride him, I know how to position myself, and I can tell he gets turned on by my heavy breathing – and watching my breasts bounce.
I think a guy wants to make a girl have an orgasm. It makes him feel like a man, and it makes him feel confident. Since I know my body, it is a win-win situation for me and the guy I'm having sex with. We both get to have an orgasm, and that is the ultimate goal. ;)
Have I Been Caught Masturbating?
Sorry Chris, but I have not been caught masturbating. :-|
I am pretty cautious about locking doors if I am masturbating alone. I wouldn't want someone showing up unexpectedly to see me riding my vib! I mean it would be awkward, and it is a private time unless agreed upon otherwise. If someone walked in on me, it would ruin my goal of having an orgasm, and that would be uncool!
One Thing I Want to Tell Guys About Girls and Masturbation
Oh, that's hard (pun intended) because I have two things I want to tell guys about girls and masturbation!
Don't ever joke on a girl for masturbating (instant turn off even if you're joking). If the conversation comes up, tell her it is sexy that she masturbates. The guys that put girls down for masturbating are judgmental losers.
I talked about this some already, but when you have sex with a girl, do everything you can to let her have an orgasm before you have yours. Trust me on this. You want to fuck her at least one more time (maybe), and tell her friends how amazing you are (definitely), don't you?
It usually takes females longer to have an orgasm than males, so try to stop yourself. But, if you do cum before she does, offer to please her in another way. Tell her you want to help her finish. Ask if she has a vibrator you can use on her, and tell her you want to please her. Of course, if you can keep going after you cum, you're good to go!
So that’s it for my first little article, I hope you enjoyed it!