The Numbers Game
You probably heard the phase "getting girls is a numbers game," it most certainly is.
If you hear some "guru" say otherwise, he is a complete fraud. Report him to the proper authorities. 8-)
It is a numbers game, after all- that's why someone of us call it a "game."
If you've followed GoodLookingLoser.com since January 2012, you'll know that "getting girls is a numbers game," is one of the very first things I talk about.
Here are some related discussions-
- Relax. You'll Eventually Get Some Pussy.
- Getting Laid is a Numbers Game: What If I Approached 100 Girls?
- Getting Laid is a Numbers Game: A Closer Look
While most guys know "getting girls is a numbers game," their initial behavior and constant outcome dependency would say otherwise.
It's not until they have gotten significant results until they have internalized the belief that "getting girls is a numbers game." That's how it was for me and I wasn't exactly helped because I studied a lot PUA bullshit that promised "every girl, every time," and other trash that made me blame myself for when interactions didn't go just as I had planned.
I hope to bridge this gap and help you guys understand that this REALLY IS a numbers game, regardless of how good you are.
You'll internalize the numbers game through real time experience, but let me see if I can make it easier for you.
Sexually Available vs. Sexually Unavailable Girls
The first thing I'd like you to understand is- NOT EVERY GIRL IS SEXUALLY AVAILABLE.
For some reason, even the "best" gurus don't touch on this concept of sexually availability too much. The very worst "gurus" think that even single girl is able to fuck, every second of the day and if you don't "get her" it's something you did incorrectly. They insist there's a certain "boyfriend destroyer" line that will make ever girl's pussy dip with warm, sweet vaginal fluid because you said your line. It's obviously not true.
In short, on any given day there's a certain amount of girls that are sexually available (to be picked up) and a certain amount of that ARE NOT. Regardless of what you or I do, we cannot get the girls that ARE NOT available. There's an infinite amount of potential reasons that a girl maybe be sexually unavailable for you or I.
Here are some reasons-
- She has a boyfriend.
- She has a husband.
- She has a lesbian lover.
- She got drunk last night and she's hungover, not looking to talk to new people.
- She is super emotional today.
- She already has a fuckbuddy.
- She already has 10 fuckbuddies.
- She doesn't EVER have fuckbuddies.
- She is a super conservative girl that doesn't have sex without being married for 4 years.
- She already got fucked that day by a thick cock.
- She had a bad experience from the last guy that picked her up.
- Her friends are there and they will judge her.
- She has to wake up early in the morning. (logistics)
- She has to go home early that night.
- She is on her period.
- She thinks she is on her period.
- She thinks she is pregnant.
- She doesn't have casual sex.
- She is a drug addict.
- She didn't take her anti-depression medicine (welcome to Los Angeles).
- She is just out for attention.
- You look like her ex-boyfriend that she hates.
- She doesn't think it's appropriate to meet people at _____.
- She doesn't like players, she only likes nice guys and fucks them after 10 dates.
- She doesn't think she looks good.
- She's just a fucking weirdo at all times.
- She heard a story from a friend that makes her hate guys for a week or two.
- She's obsessed with some other guy.
- She's obsessed with her ex-boyfriend.
- She wants a boyfriend.
- She doesn't know what the fuck she wants.
- She had a bad day.
- She's scared of guys at bars.
- She's scared of guys at clubs.
- She's scared of guys that talk to her during the day.
- She doesn't know how to show guys that she's DTF.
Okay, some of those are far-fetched, some of those are COMPLETELY realistic and common.
No where in there did I say "you are too ugly" "you are too much of a fucking loser," I didn't say that, right?
The point is-
NONE of them are your fault.
NONE of them can you control.
I'll repeat that-
NONE of them are your fault.
NONE of them can you control.
I also want you to keep in mind that "single" DOES NOT mean sexually available, just as "I have a boyfriend" DOES NOT mean sexually unavailable. A girl could be single but have to wake up at 5am the next morning. She isn't home with anyone.
A further point is- there is NO reason to analyze why ONE certain girl didn't talk to you/give you her number/fuck you, it could be any of those reasons. Again, none of those reasons were "you are too ugly," or "you are too uncool."
Chances Are- She already Fucked a Guy Uglier Than You
It's true. The average girl, aged 18-25, who is sexually available at times (we aren't talking about the girls who NEVER sleep with anyone) has probably had at least a handful of partners. Usually more. At least one of those partners was probably UGLIER than you. Not every girl is fucking some actor or model. The hottest girls generally fuck the guys that are slightly above average to good looking.
You probably aren't being rejected on your looks, most of the time.
Does that make you feel better?
This is something I had to learn, even though most girls consider me "good looking," I was scared to death of rejection because I was certain that it was because of my looks being inadequate. When I'd "get rejected" by a girl who wasn't available in the first place, I wanted to go home and hide in my closet and cry like the little bitch that I was. That's a true story, between you and I.
Exception: A Small Percentage of Guys ARE Getting Rejected For Their Looks
There's a small percentage of guys that are really ugly, in horrible shape and generally just present themselves as low class, socially-retarded dog shit. This small percentage of guys will be getting rejected for their looks and style, or lack thereof. They will be getting rejected a lot.
In my opinion, NOBODY, outside of some sort of unfortunate accident, has to fall into that category. There are some guys that are genetically better looking and more attractive than others, but no guy has to fall into this "really ugly, in horrible shape and generally just present themselves as low class, socially-retarded dog shit," category where they are getting rejected for their looks, most if not all of the time.
If you fall into this category, pull yourself out. You aren't going to get laid much otherwise.
Girls have a "looks threshold," so long as you aren't looking like shit, you probably don't fall out of that threshold for the average girl.
The average guy is probably not getting rejected for his looks. Not most of the time. And Certainly NOT by the average girl.
Most of the time, he's getting "rejected" by a girl that wasn't available in the first place.
Let me repeat that-
Most of the time, you are getting "rejected" by girls that ARE NOT AVAILABLE IN THE FIRST PLACE (if you are aggressively approaching them and communicating that you want sex).
Usually over half the girls you approach won't be sexually available that day/night/week. The last thing you need to do is blame yourself.
You should MAXIMIZE your looks, your style and your social freedom (via experience) and you will be landing, at least phone numbers, from the majority of sexually available girls.
This is NOT a reframe. This is how it is. I have friends that are better looking than I am and are in magazines and some movies. They are actors and model in Los Angeles. They get "rejected" by girls. And they aren't getting rejected for their looks. The girl is simply NOT available.
That should give you some insight on what this "numbers game" truly is.
I did not understand this when I started and even after I took some training from certain PU companies. They didn't understand it either.
What the Numbers Game Means to Me
After 4-5 years, I have a deeper understanding of this "game," than I had years ago. (this is because of concept encounters)
My understanding is probably too deep to fully explain with text, maybe I'll try to do so in a video.
In short, I know if I want to get laid, at this point, all I have to do is walk up to 100 girls, give them a compliment and ask for their number. If I wanted to basically guarantee my chances, I could additionally message 100 girls the exact same message on a dating site and ask for their number after we talked for a couple minutes. I'll have more than a few options. If somehow I don't, I will just do it again. I'll get laid in a few days. That the way it works every time.
Regardless of what level you are at, even if you are a beginner (without extreme social anxiety) I believe you can walk up to 100 girls, about 30-40 will be sexually available and ask all of them for their numbers. You'll have a date, at the very least within a week. You might even get laid if you run into a horny girl who finds you attractive.
By understanding and seeing the big picture, I never get too caught up in what happens along the way. That gives me tremendous peace.
At times, I have straight up looked at women as numbers and nothing more.
Frankly that's is what they are until I meet them and I see that they are cool enough to hang out with me. That's being detached. That's screening. I suggest you try to internalize that mindset. It took me a while though.
A lot of guys will have a problem with that and say- "Isn't that de-humanizing the girls?" "Doesn't that ruin your interactions and you can't show your personality and passion?" "Won't she see that you are viewing her as a number and not a human being that has feelings, dreams and family members?" "Isn't that what the Nazis and Soviets did to people? De-humanizing them?" (I've been asked this stuff before, really.)
My answer to that is- Stop taking it so seriously. We are discussing "talking to women," nothing more. Stop being so introspective, "why why why how how how what if what if what if" and just start talking to some chicks. If it helps you to view them strictly as numbers, do so. If it helps you to view them as "incredible miracles of sciences with a soul and a brain full of unique passion and ambitions - no two women are ever the same," then do that.
GoodLookingLoser.com Is a Numbers Game
I'm still very new to building an interactive website, but I'm finding that everything that happens on GoodLookingLoser.com is a numbers game.
Everyday, a certain amount of people will visit GoodLookingLoser.com.
- A certain percentage will like me.
- A certain percentage will hate me.
- A certain percentage of people will use this information to enhance their life.
- A certain percentage will do absolutely nothing with it.
The only people I try to target to help are those that will use this information to enhance their life. All my stuff is directed at those people, the rest of the people I absolutely want to scare off so I don't waste time with them in the forum. Does that sound familiar?
If you are one of the younger guys who visit GoodLookingLoser.com, I encourage you to begin viewing the world as a successful businessman. Life is a numbers game. Anyone who is wealthy from their own means, understands how this stuff works.
The numbers game is particularly well illustrated in sales.
Here's an example with numbers-
(I was hesitant to give this example, since some people HATE hearing that other people make money, but I'm going to give it anyway since I'm not exactly hiding myself [I'm showing my dick on another page] and it fits the numbers game perfectly)
As of July 4th, about 400 new people a day come to GoodLookingLoser.com [seemingly] looking to see if the Bathmate is any good. I usually sell 4 Bathmate pumps a day to new visitors. That means 1 in 100 people are buying it. While that might not seem like a lot, it's pretty good for the nature of this device in the male enhancement industry that is loaded with bullshit.
I promote it because it legitimately helps people and positively reflects on me since it's such a good product.
Let's take a look a closer look at what those 100 new people do.
Out of 100 NEW PEOPLE who come to GoodLookingLoser.com looking for a "Bathmate Review," on any given day, according to my Google Analytics report-
* These are estimates.
40% of them will stay for about 4 minutes, not buy it, but come back later that day or tomorrow. They might buy it then, they usually won't though (this could be for any number of reasons- they think I'm lying, they think talking about 'big cock' sex is weird, they hate me, they hate you, they think it doesn't work, the price is too high, they buy something else, they weren't serious in the first place and just saw an advertisement on it, etc. etc. etc.) Nothing I can control.
30% of them will click away either with 2 second or 1 minute for any one of the reasons I listed above. They never return.
20% of them will take at least 20 minutes and revisit later, reading all the information about the Bathmate but not end up getting it.
9% of them will take at least 20 minutes and revisit later, reading all the information about the Bathmate and get it another day.
1% of them will take at least 20 minutes and revisit later, reading all the information about the Bathmate and get the Bathmate today.
Although these are estimates, all of these percentages stay very, very consistent. It's like they never change. It's been this way since I started started promoting the Bathmate back in January 2012. The only thing that changes is the amount of people that have been visiting the website.
While I could try to make the Bathmate section of GoodLookingLoser.com "better" to slightly increase +1-2% how many people buy it, I'd be better off just trying to have more people find GoodLookingLoser.com. If 1 out of every 100 people buy the Bathmate on the same day and 400 people come looking to possibly purchase the Bathmate on a daily basis (4 sales)... I'd double sales if I could get 800 people to visit (8 sales).
The more people see the Bathmate page, the more people buy it.
The more chicks your talk to, the more chicks you will bang.
Do you see the parallel?
It's not an exact parallel. But after over a half-decade of banging random hot women, and admittedly, my lesser experience at selling a penis pump, it's pretty close.
It's 'conversions' as they say in sales.
Once most guys beat the majority of their approach anxiety they will bang about 1 or 2 girls for every 100 they approach.
If their goal is to bang 10 girls in a year, approaching 450 girls in total (1 or 2/day) would do this. Once you gain more experience, MAX out your looks and style, you might expect to bang 3 or 4 girls in every 100. The guys at the highest levels might have periods where they bang 5 to 7 attractive girls.
But still, the outcome of the majority of your approaches is completely out of your control. Most of the girls won't be available for SEX. Not even the single ones, a lot of them are strictly trying to get boyfriends and be courted.
The majority of the time- the key to getting laid more is simply to hit on more girls and not "improve" your game. A guy with average "game" can get laid more than a guy with good "game," simply by talking to more women. The percentages can change based on the quality of girl you approach, but it still remains a numbers game.
That might seem like a lot of "work" to bang 1 or 2 girls, but remember our method- Screening, Get Laid or Get Lost. Short interactions, physical advances, you won't waste your time. It's a lot work if you are playing "text wizard monkey" with a girl for 4 weeks to try and get a non-sexual date.
It's a numbers game. Some chicks are available, most chicks aren't.
If girls "Get Lost" or "reject you," it's usually not your fault unless you haven't made the effort to look at least slightly above average.
MAX out your looks, style and social freedom (via experience) and you'll be able to get the majority of girls that ARE AVAILABLE.*
* If you are shorter than 5-11, get shoes or shoe inserts to make yourself taller.