7 Habits Of Guys That Get Laid A Lot
This mini-series (Loser lifestyle edition coming soon) is the Good Looking Loser spin off the book "7 Habits of Highly Effective People",¤ which I have most certainly not read cover-to-cover.
¤ not an affiliate link
I have read the most important parts of it though.
The impossible part of writing this post is to narrow down the 7 MOST SIGNIFICANT, ACTIONABLE habits.
There's about 7000+ habits.
For the sake of not having a 186,669 word discussion, I've picked 7 habits and combined a few of them.
Just so you know, we are talking about "cold approach" and not party circle/being set up with girls aka nearly free pussy.
#1 Guys that Get Laid talk to at least 20 girls a week, as part of an overall lifestyle and ask out/try to go home with any girl that seems even somewhat interested.
I cheated and combined 3 into 1.
Hear me out -
They talk to 20+ girls a week...
You understand this.
... as part of an overall lifestyle...
For the most part, absent of sleep hours, guys that Get Laid (via cold approach) spend more time OUTSIDE their house than inside their house.
Sometimes they are working, sometimes they are shopping (errands), sometimes they are at the gym, sometimes they are with friends, sometimes they are at happy hour or a bar or club. Regardless, they spend more hours OUTSIDE of the house than inside.
They are 'busy' and 'boredom' is not a concept they are familiar with.
Throughout the course of any given day/night, they will strike up small 3 to 10 minute low/moderately-flirtatious conversations with 2-4 girls. The number totals about 50 to 80 in any given month.
What they do not do is "go for a sarge" and devote a large chunk of time to wandering like loners with the sole purpose of "attracting" women.
Being a "player" is something you are are. Not something you do.
(related: "Be a Player, Not a Pickup Artist")
... and ask out/try to go home with any girl that seems even somewhat interested.
Whichever girls somewhat enthusiastically return the conversation, they will ask out or try to go home with.
* this is more of 'verbal screening' (flirting) rather than physical screening; most guys that Get Laid a lot do it this way, instead of the more aggressive physical stuff that Scotty and I do. The physical stuff is 'hardcore' screening and gets you laid more.
For Guys That Get Laid A Lot (via cold approach), on average, of the ~20 girls they talk to in any given week, 8 will give them a real number, 4 will respond enthusiastically and 2 will meet up with them. Seasoned guys will do a little better than this. Rookies/Sophomores that don't have approach anxiety will do a little worse than this.
(related: "It's a Numbers Game - So What Are My Odds?")
#2 Guys that Get Laid do so on the same night or the first "date" because they look like 'Players' and not Boyfriend Material.
If you are still new at this (first 12 months), don't let this discourage you from going on multiple dates.
That's what I did for about ~2 YEARS and that is exactly what you should be doing.
Even in the beginning, it struck me as odd that the 'authorities' talked about their adventures/gameplans for "Day 3,4,5..." or multiple dates.
Even inexperienced guys know that:
The guys that fuck a lot of girls aren't going on "Day 3,4,5..." dates.
They bring home girls on the same night, or after meeting up with them once or twice. They often set up "dates" where they propose "watching a movie" (at home) or "going to get a drink" at a location nearby.
No dinners, no coffee, no "adventure" dates, no forms of courting.
Just the basic, acceptable pretenses for sex -
Let's watch a movie.
Let's get a drink.
* The exception to this is the 'serial dater', a largely inefficient approach to effectively get a lot of pussy.
There are so many factors that affect the "countdown to sex" and I've covered a lot of it here -
- "The Real Reason You Didn't Get Laid This Weekend"
- "Retention & Profiles of Guys (Players with Boyfriend Potential v. Boyfriend Material"
Don't stop going on dates.
Just be aware that the GIRL ALREADY LIKES YOU if she goes out with you.
#3 Guys that Get Laid live nearby the location(s) where they meet women and have a repeatable gameplan.
These 2 factors are huge.
Logistics (Within 10 Minutes)
You always hear the concept "logistics, logistics...", but lets give some specifics.
In early 2009, I was still a personal trainer in the Beverly Hills area, so I moved to North Bel Air (90077) - a high-end luxury neighborhood deep in the smug residential hills of Los Angeles.
It was nice telling people I shared a sewer system and lived next to Clint Eastwood, Lady Gaga and Chris Paul for a while, but I grew a little stir-crazy because I was so far from civilization. Not to mention - wasting huge amounts of time in traffic on the 405 and frequent trips for fuel when gas was nearly $4.
I caught a lucky break from a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-fuckbuddy-who-later-hated-me and moved to Santa Monica Beach at a reasonable price (rent is crazy expensive if you apply during Summer) to take over the lease.
The even better news -
I was literally 20 yards from the beach and hundreds of girls.
By the start of Fall, I was taking girls from the beach/pier into my little one-bedroom apartment under the pretense of "I'm sure you drink during the day too, lets go get some Coronas, I have limes in my fridge..." or "my place is right over there, lets go get some AC (air condition)...".
(this sounds absurd but it works just fine - watch this video)
This NEVER could happen if I didn't live walking-distance from where I was meeting girls. When I was living in Bel Air, the potential for 'same day/night' stuff was quite low. The only good thing (logistically) about living North Bel Air is when girls came over, they would usually have to stay the night - but that would have probably been true any situation.
After my ~year in Santa Monica, I moved back to West Hollywood and got a place in walking-distance of 4 popular venues and I started bringing girls home at night. Sometimes - every night. I had a streak of 9 consecutive nights (got laid 8 times), without one night off.
By Day 10, I was literally too tired and post-post-post-hungover to even celebrate.
So I called my Mom.
Guys That Get Laid A Lot do the ~same thing over-and-over-and-over until they find a customer.
This is true of how/where they meet women, how/where they meet up with women, how/where they get women back to their place.
They might "improvise" the dialogue and the gameplan might become second-nature, but they have a VERY SPECIFIC GAMEPLAN that they are trying to execute.
They are so confident in their gameplan that girls often tell them that are they are "spontaneous" or "exciting".
Like me in 2008-2010, they are usually neither, they just have everything planned in advance - as a man should.
In general, our approach gameplan is -
- Walk up to girls and say the screening dialogue.
- Hold their hand after the handshake until the girls takes her hand back.
- Make small talk for 3-5 minutes.
- Use follow me move (take her outside the place or sit down)/ take her number.
In general, our text/phone gameplan is -
- Text girl anything.
- Call her right when she texts me back.
- Set up non-specific plans within the next 48 hours.
In general, our "date" or meetup gameplan is -
- -Day of- Confirm the time with the girl via text in the early afternoon.
- -Day of- Have the girl drive to my place and park.
- -Day of- Walk down the street/drive 5 minutes for a drink. (30-45 minutes)
- -Day of- Walk/drive back to the place, invite her in for another drink.
- -Day of- Sit on the couch with TV/music on and drink/do drugs.
- -Day of- Start massaging her, touching her, kissing her.
- -Day of- Go into the bedroom (clean and already setup) for more "privacy".
Repeat x 258
Pretty easy huh?
#4 They "Look Good" even if they aren't stereotypically "Good Looking".
If you've been around here for even 15 minutes, you'll know that we acknowledge the importance of "how you look" since that is the #1 factor in a girl being physically (therefore, sexually) attached to you. It also reflects social status, whether actual or perceived.
There's a lot to this, but lets talk about what Guys That Get Laid A Lot focus on -
Guys That Get Laid A Lot take care of their skin (face)
You already know that Guys That Get Laid A Lot focus on 'grooming', but particularly their SKIN ON THEIR FACE.
They are willing to overspend to keep their face looking tight and fresh. Ideally, chiseled too.
If you are one that believes in paying for overpriced cosmetics (I do on some items) check out this brand -
(not an affiliate link)
For most of us, I recommend that you check out "Good Looking Loser's Guide to Inexpensive Skin Care", I've only been at it for about 9 months but people are noticing, in-person and even on YouTube -
Guys That Get Laid A Lot dress cool or rich
Guys That Get Laid A Lot wear cool, current clothing (ideally with some accessories that provide an 'edge' to their style).
You can see the exact clothing that we recommend in our seasonal "Guides to Style".
An equally effective alternative, is the "Full On Rich/Important Guy" style that includes a suit, tie, pocket square, nice shoes, etc.
We'll do a more comprehensive discussion on this pretty soon.
Guys That Get Laid A Lot keep their bodyfat down
Although the guys I know that Get Laid a ton don't all have 6-pack abs (most don't), none of them are fat or appear fat.
They have facial features, jeans not over 34" and can take their shirt off at a pool party.
No double chins/juiced boy, no beer gut, no sagging body parts.
My guess is only half of them go to the gym, but most are active and watch their diet.
There's more sub-habits to "looking good" but...
- Clear, chiseled face
- Dress cool/rich
- Slightly above-average body
... are the 3 most important factors.
#5 Guys That Get Laid A Lot via cold approach mainly hook up with "7 and 8's" but sometimes hook up with "9" and "Perfect 10's".
Everyone's scale is different ("10" = top 10% girl --or-- "10" = top .001% girl) so we aren't driving down that endless road to hell.
Just know that Guys That Get Laid A Lot via cold approach, aren't fucking the hottest, hottest girls on a nightly basis.
THE VERY BEST (including yours truly, in my party stages) are usually hooking up with pretty girls via cold approach, with 1-3 really hot girls in the mix on a monthly basis.
If anyone else tells you otherwise, they are completely lying.
Or they aren't talking about 'cold approach'.
Or they have long cold streaks because they are being too selective.
Or, again, they are completely lying.
Scotty and I (and some other guys I know) are better at this shit than 99.999% people in the world (I bet my 3 testicles on it) and that's always how it's been via cold approach.
All bets are off if you have status in some sort of scene where hot girls try to social climb.
#6 Guys That Get Laid A Lot via cold approach focus their attention on "floaters" and small groups of girls.
If you've seen our videos or just read a lot of Good Looking Loser, you'll know that I rarely talk about "gaming" large groups of girls.
In fact, in the United States club scene, where girls come together in one big group AND leave for their pre-arranged after-party in one big group - cold approaching groups of girls (to take one of them home) is almost pointless for most guys.
We focus on screening better logistically convenient girls that are by themselves (usually during the day, but sometimes at a bar) or on small groups (3 or less).
Common sense should tell you why that is better than "disarming" entire parties of guys and girls that already have plans.
As Scotty Speedball says -
(I'm trying to type it as he would)
If u r new to this shit, then y da fuk would u make it any harder on urself??????
Talk to the chicks that can go home with u if they want
Again, this is for 'cold approach', you can definitely infiltrate large groups of pussy if you already have an in. And more importantly -
AN AFTER PARTY.
#7 Guys That Get Laid A Lot have one or more long-term/distance not-always-exclusive girlfriend(s) and she is often very, very pretty.
This one is interesting and at the end of our list because it's hardly mandatory.
However, it's worth consideration because it has pertained to myself and others.
Of the handful of guys that I know personally and reference for these type "Other Guys Who Get Laid" discussions - ALL of them have at least one girl that they sometimes refer to as their "girlfriend".
She is definitely more of a girlfriend, whether exclusive or otherwise, and more than just a "fuckbuddy" because he/she is very much emotionally attached to the other.
Often, the "girlfriend" doesn't live in the same city and she tends to accept the less-than-ideal, sometimes-open/sometimes-closed relationship because she ultimately believes she will be sharing a future with the guy.
(this is the ultimate retention btw)
Sometimes he/she is working on a career but sometimes they lack total exclusivity is for other reasons. We can't totally define it as an 'open-relationship' because there are often very specific, unique and understood rules that varies from couple to couple.
This "girlfriend" is often very, very pretty and is someone that the guy looks as a VERY GOOD PLAN B, if not an EXCELLENT PLAN A when he actually wants to settle down.
This relationship gives the guy a 'Sense of Entitlement', emotional stability and keeps down his sexual neediness.
He can easily approach girls because he know he already has a hotter girl that he likes more. Just the same, he can jerk off and not feel like he's "not Getting Laid".
This type of situation can usher in a "Golden Era" for many guys who have never experienced such a stage or were previously inexperienced.
Bonus Habit #1: Guys That Get Laid A lot initiate/force eye contact and they don't look down to break it.
(technique: look up, not down/away, and look back)
This is more of an observation than a habit, but hear me out.
When I've been out with guys that are also good with women, most of them are killers with reading and meeting available women via eye contact.
(ironically, I rely on this the least of any guy I know since I rarely wear contacts)
On the surface, they can see what chicks are checking them out (or who is not interested).
On a deeper level, they can communicate that they will fuck the shit out of girls if the invite is accepted.
This is done with a piercing (but non-creepy, this varies person-to-person), yet warm stare that is usually accompanied with a signature smirk or smile.
Eye contact (or silent female mating call) is broken only when the girl bashfully looks away or the guy looks UP (NOT DOWN) and usually immediately back at the girl.
My friend Danny who is the master of this, broke it down for me -
(although his was more of a 'friendly' gaze, since he is tall and good looking)
- LOOK AT HER EYES, UNTIL SHE LOOKS AT YOU.
- LOCK EYES FOR 3 SECONDS AND SMILE.
(DO NOT TURN TO YOUR FRIEND. DO NOT LOOK DOWN. DO NOT LOOK AWAY.)
- THEN LOOK UP, JUST ABOVE HER.
- THEN REALIGN YOUR SIGHTS ON HERS AND KICK HER A SMILE/LOOK THAT SAYS, "I KNOW WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND..."
If she smiles again, or locks eyes -
- WALK RIGHT OVER THERE, BARGE IN ON HER CONVERSATION, THAT'S WHAT SHE WANT YOU TO DO.
I've done this before, one of the hottest girls I've ever spoken to "Patricia" recruited me like this way back in 2002 when she and I were both 19. Girls have a feel for 'eye contact' at a much younger age.
Girls, especially the hottest ones, are ABSOLUTELY NOT scared of eye contact. To them, it's "showing off" their eyes and seeing which men are worthy to stare into them.
Most guys are scared however.
Be a man and hold her eyes.
This will separate you.
I know this because I've watched how some of my friends (Scotty included) do it/something similar.
Even though I'm not a big 'eye contact' screener, nor big on 'techniques', this will be the way a lot of you guys start finding pussy that wants it.
For some, this will be your only move that you need.
Lock this song (and lyrics) into your head and smile -
"I know you want what's on my mind..."
"You shouldn't have worn that dress..."
Bonus Habit #2: Guys That Get Laid A Lot have a nice, clean, prepared house and a cozy place to have sex.
All the guys I know that are fantastic with women put effort into their "bachelor pad".
But not in the way that the undersexed authors at GQ or Maxim magazine tell you.
The place isn't filled with luxury furniture, high-priced "female distraction" electronics or ritzy glassware.
(Nintendo Wii was popular among girls when it came out)
The place should simply be "nice", "clean" and "prepared".
Ideally in a newer apartment/housing complex and no trash, garbage or pet hair/shit laying around.
Let me tell you what I had in my place during the [beginning of] height of my sex life (2009-middle 2010).
It was virtually nothing besides a bed, TV and alcohol.
(the hardwood floors were always a plus though)
In general (aside from normal stuff such as utensils, clothing, pans, a blender, etc.) -
Bedroom (A Bed and TV)
- A flat-screen TV named 'Jenny' that could play music playlists too (2007-2011, RIP)
- A queen-size bed with 4 pillows. (Same bed that I had for years)
- A nice, soft, black comforter (no sheets)
- A desk with a glass top for my laptop. ($100)
- An orderly closet that can be closed.
Kitchen Bar Area/Living Room (Nothing)
- 2 bar stools ($39)
- A bottle of Charles Shaw Wine ($2)
- A bottle of Jose Cuervo Tequila ($22)
- Set of 6 wine glasses from Ross ($10)
- Pack of Marlboro lights ($5)
I also purchased a love seat (2 seater) in late 2010 and moved the flat-screen into the living room.
For 2 years, there was literally nothing to sit on besides the uncomfortable bar stools and my super comfortable bed.
Bathroom (Female Friendly)
Aside from my cosmetics, toilet paper, a little black rug, the bathroom had -
- 2 clean bath towels ($20)
- 2 clean hand towels ($10)
- Extra toothbrushes from Costco ($8)
- Feminine products such as tampons ($8)
- Makeup removal wipes ($6)
- A small personal mirror ($15)
I was actually surprised that more girls didn't ask why my 1 bedroom apartment had feminine products.
It was almost like I expected girls to come over?
Despite being the bare-minimum (bed, TV, alcohol), girls appreciated how nice and clean my place was.
Some even went as far to think, "this guy has his life clean and in order too."
Far from true, but it was a start.
I didn't look 'poor', I was a celebrity personal trainer living in Bel-Air and Santa Monica Beach (rent: $3000+ in 2010), it just looked like hadn't bought much.
My point -
You don't need a bunch of overpriced "stuff" and female distractions.
What you need is a nice, clean, cozy bedroom with a TV and drinks in the living room.
If you have money to put into your place - by all means, do it.
I didn't 4-5 years ago and it did.not.matter.
When chicks come over to your place, they are coming to get fucked - not play Wii.
Obviously there are more than just 7 Habits.
Actually, I gave you 9 because Kratom allows me to reach deep into my soul/brain.
These were the ones that came to mind and if you get nothing else from Good Looking Loser besides this discussion - you'd be Getting Laid a ton if these are your reality.
That's all I got and that's all you really need.
Do me a solid, if you have twitter, take a second and add me -
I read all the user comments on new posts, but if you want comprehensive feedback on a topic - I encourage you to join the forum and post in there.
That is where we can help you. The blog commenting area is mainly for feedback and not advice.