How Confident Do I Really Have to Be?
(to have a top 1% sex life)
includes: extreme Good Looking Loser propaganda/brainwashing techniques
Recently, a Good Looking Loser forum member asked a good question -
How do some guys have rock hard immovable confidence?
What he meant was -
How can I develop super strong confidence?
The short answer is -
From experience, eventually comes success.
From success, eventually comes confidence.
Pick any skill, any activity - that's how it's done.
People are confident when experience shows that they can already do something.
Certain guys are confident that they can pick up girls because - THEY CAN PICKUP GIRLS.
There is no eBook, no pick up workshop, no Good Looking Loser post that can raise your confidence like actually Getting Laid will.
If you try enough, you will eventually Get Laid.
That's the short answer.
That long answer is more complicated is only something that I will briefly touch on -
'Confidence' is a deep subject and nothing I care to theoretically explore in-depth because there's nothing I can tell you that will dramatically help beyond what I've already mentioned - GETTING LAID.
We condense the subject into the most important form of confidence - "A Sense of Entitlement".
A Sense of Entitlement is actually believing that you deserve pussy and you are cooler than the girls you are talking to. You actually believe that they would be lucky to sleep with you.
A Sense of Entitlement separates the guys that get cute girls and the guys that get hot girls. It also separates the guys that get average girls from guys that don't Get Laid. Aside from sex appeal (Looks, Style) and social freedom (eventually progressing into Killer Instinct), your Sense of Entitlement is the only thing that matters.
With effort, positive feedback (wow, you're hot!, wow you're cool!, wow your dick is a fatty - I'm going to tell my friends on our girl's wine night!, etc.) and results - your Sense of Entitlement will increase.
Having money, improving basic social skills, genuinely enjoying your life/girls and gaining social status in a scene will help too.
Once you fuck (and hopefully retain) ONE hot/super hot girl without the help of your social circle (significant milestone) - you will be in the driver's seat.
If you do it once, you can do it again.
So now you know how it's done.
The second half of the question is the topic that I feel we do need to discuss.
Remember the question -
So How Do Some Guys Have Rock Hard Immovable Confidence?
Lets talk about these guys.
Rock Hard, Immovable Pussy Slayers
You know, the guys that are fazed by NOTHING.
They literally DO NOT GIVE A FUCK about ANYTHING.
Their "frame" is closer to a concrete wall than a frame.
Not just with women, but with anything in life.
Not only are they unfazed by social tension, they seemingly always know what to say and what move to make.
You know, like Brad Pitt in Fight Club.
The world belongs to them.
It's like you could put a loaded .45 caliber gun in their mouth and their blood pressure wouldn't budge.
They would probably just confidently smirk at you.
But the reality is - these guys DO NOT actually exist.
At least not in the sense that many think.
The guys that I PERSONALLY KNOW who are absolutely fantastic with hot girls are very much human. They might show flashes of a fictional immovable character, maybe even several moments, but it's simply a product of experience and not really caring what most people think.
When things go well (instant chemistry with a sexually available girl who likes them), it can look like a scene of a movie. There's no mindtricks or smooth moves necessary - when a girl likes you she'll make you look smooth.
Daniel Au Naturale
My former best friend, Daniel, is the best "natural" I have ever seen.
He slept with over 100+ girls in 4 years of college alone. At the age of 16, he hooked up with a 21 year-old Miami Dolphins cheerleader. He had more girls booty calling him on a Friday night at age 19 than most guys will speak to in a month.
Still, Daniel had very pronounced moments of weakness.
If you didn't know him, you'd be surprised that he got any action at all.
He would literally cry if someone smarter than him called him "dumb". He would think about it for a week.
There would be nights where he'd get ridiculously drunk and angry when the 10 or 15 random girls he hit on wanted nothing to do with him. He would ignore texts from his fuckbuddies and just pass out feeling sorry for himself.
He would even pathetically make up stories about Getting Laid if he was in a slump or his favorite fuckbuddy temporarily stopped texting him.
Seems like a "beta male", huh?
He was as good as it gets for a non-celebrity.
(celebrities don't do 'pick up', there is way too much risk to their image if things go wrong; besides, they don't need to)
He had above-average (B+) sex appeal, social freedom and very strong Sense of Entitlement. And Most importantly - he would apply himself and talk to girls while the rest of us were on the side watching him (hoping he'd strike out).
(this is way back in 2000-2001 when I was pretty jealous of him - even though I was somehow able to steal girls away from him)
Curtis Au Naturale
Curtis was the ultimate 'party boy'.
In his prime, he never really tried to pick up girls. He simply invited them (and their friends) to his parties.
Groups of girls would show up, get drunk with us and one or more would reveal herself to be interested in him.
He would take the new girl to his room under the pretense of, "I want to talk to you." or "Come into my room."
He got laid more often than any guy I had ever seen in his party days.
Curtis was human too.
At times, he was overly sensitive and very quick to flip out on any girl that was rude to him.
(he would routinely tell entire groups of girls to leave his parties, personally escorting them out)
This goes against the retarded pacifist mindset of "Don't Be Reactive".
(it is more congruent to "DO WHAT YOU WANT", the Good Looking Loser mentality)
Despite his insecurities and sometimes disturbing verbal sparing matches with girls that would be lucky to sleep with him - he was absolutely amazing with women.
Curtis (nicknamed, 'Lil Wayne Gretzky') was the type of kid that could build a social circle in 6 hours.
AJ Au Naturale
AJ (not the club promotor that I mention sometimes) was one of my first friends when I moved to Los Angeles in 2008. We started hanging/going to clubs in 2009, when he was single.
Standing an athletic, chiseled 6-4, 215lbs with All-American looks and good social skills, AJ didn't have trouble getting girls. When we would hit the Hollywood bars/clubs, he was one of the only guys I partied with that girls were sometimes equally or more interested in.
AJ had a super hot girlfriend back in Florida. Beautiful. Model, local television reporter, the whole deal.
Every few months, they would "break up" for one reason or another and AJ and I would go out.
Once he got warmed/liquored up, AJ had no trouble talking to the the hottest girls in the place. He'd often go home with one of the girls or another almost as attractive girl.
I loved when he was single (no homo), we were a pretty good team and were trying to hook up with the same caliber of women, but I also saw moments of insecurity that stunned me.
When girls, ironically - unattractive girls, were mean to AJ and he wasn't in a spectacular mood - AJ would want to go home or leave the place. Despite getting a lot of hot girls (mainly from his Hollywood/entertainment circles), AJ would get very upset if a girl didn't at least play along and have a conversation with him.
Most of the girls that were rude to him were simply intimidated by him and thought he had no interest in getting know them.
Largely, they were correct.
But AJ didn't know that.
He often blamed himself when girls didn't want to talk to him.
Turned out, AJ was a nice guy.
A nice guy...
That got a lot of pussy when he really put his mind to it.
(per GLL definition, AJ was a 'good guy' and not actually a 'nice guy'; he was just very sensitive)
Good Looking Loser
The name 'Good Looking Loser' actually comes from my past (7982-2006) when I was considered to be 'hot' by 99% of girls that I talked to. To some girls, I was their perfect 10. The feedback and positive responses I got from girls was amazing.
The only problem was - I didn't talk to that many girls.
I didn't give myself permission.
I was too busy trying to look good/cool and protect my pathetically fragile ego.
(hence the word 'Loser')
Things obviously changed, I'm not as good looking today but all my other fundamentals are lightyears from my former self.
Still, I hardly have immovable confidence.
Maybe sometimes. But definitely not "always".
To this day, I feel less confident about my appearance when my face is bloated (something that was a frequent thing when I used steroids). While the bloat from my HRT protocol (750mg of Test E every 10 days and 250ius of HCG every 3 days) is nothing compared to the days when I'd be a grotesque monster from being on a gram of Test, it is still something that I think about.
I'm also not fully secure with my hair line. Why else would I devote so much money/trial and error to making it look decent?
(see: Hair Loss Prevention Guide - Based on 12 Years of Experience)
I also feel less confident when I'm not dressed my best - even though about 40% of the girls I've picked up during the day were at the gym while I was sweaty and wearing shorts.
Even though some of the hottest chicks I've EVER picked up came when I was wearing sweatpants and an Underamour hoodie (they were dressed to the 10's, I was dressed like a [relative] scrub). When under-dressed, I simply feel less confident than I normally would - even though evidence/experience suggests that I shouldn't care all that much during the day.
Perhaps the most surprising of all -
Despite a lot of success, I never completely got over the "wait" after texting a new super hot girl for the 1st time and just waiting powerless for her reply. Once I get that text - I snap into "Yeah, I got her" mode. But the lead up wasn't always without anticipation. But that's what made it so rewarding.
(this phone/text anxiety dates all the way back to when I first started this stuff in late 2006 - when the girls would reply but I never really got anywhere with them)
I remember several times when I felt immortal, looked great and had amazing natural chemistry with a girl that should have been begging for my dick - only for it to result in NOTHING whatsoever.
I also distinctly remember times when my "game" was beyond sloppy, I looked like I just rolled out of bed and had absolutely no natural chemistry with a girl - only to have her to end up in my bed without any resistance within 48 hours.
There's times, often extended periods of time, where I truly feel 'immovable' and invincible but there are moments of self-doubt. I've succeed (and "failed) under both these conditions.
YOU NEVER KNOW.
(while some girls will engage you if they like you, some girls get quiet if they like you)
The lesson learned is -
Confidence will fluctuate but having above-average (B+) confidence, at least most of the time - is all it takes.
Some days you'll really be ON. (A+)
But some days you'll be OFF. (C or below)
It's simply part of the game/life.
If you can average a B+ cGPA (confidence grade point average), you'll be just fine.
Once you start going out with really hot/any girls, you will see that they are hardly 'immovable' too.
They are human.
They will get nervous if they like you.
Just like you will.
Once you come to peace that you'll never always have amazing confidence - you'll feel more confident.
Just Who Are These Guys?
As I discussed in "10 Misconceptions About Guys that are "Naturally Successful With Women" (see Misconception #6), the guys that get the most, hottest pussy via cold approach ARE NOT unbreakable, 24/7/365 masculine, never hesitant, never shaken 'alpha' males.
They simply have above-average (B+) sex appeal, with above-average (B+) confidence, who can move fast once they know a girl is interested in them (Killer Instinct). They also party a lot and are part of the 'in crowd'. They mainly hook up with girls that are equal/slightly less attractive than they are but will also sleep with super hotties from time to time*. They are usually sleeping with 1 or 2 attractive girls, so it's not a big deal if a girl rejects them.
*How easily they retain the super hotties is simply based on their own boyfriend potential and how much of a challenge they present themselves as (or the girl is up to).
Their confidence is a product of experience.
But immovable confidence is an illusion.
A Hollywood, Fight Club illusion.
(Word is - Brad Pitt shot certain scenes in Fight Club over 300 times, prior to professional editing and special effects)
Confidence vs. Self-Esteem
The guys I mentioned (Danny, Curtis, AJ) have consistently good self-esteem (how they feel about themselves).
Their confidence (how they feel about picking up girls) is also well above-average, but it can fluctuate.
Still, I know some guys that tag a lot of top-shelf pussy who actually have strong confidence, but low self-esteem.
It seems like a rare paradox, but it's actually quite common in the Hollywood scene.
There are plenty of guys in the scene the live absolutely worthless lives.
They have no ambition, no passion, no goals, no strong conviction in anything they do. They know it too.
Some don't even have jobs.
All they do is party and eat cocaine and pussy. For years on end.
In their weaker (more intoxicated) moments, some have confided in me that they loathe their worthless existence and wish God would visit them and point them on a meaningful course.
Yet, they hook up with plenty of girls.
In the scene - THEY ARE CONFIDENT. REALLY CONFIDENT.
But how is this possible?
How can guys with low self-esteem be confident?
They have experience.
They simply know what they are doing because they spend 5 or 6 nights a week doing it. Some also work a side job as a bartender, low-level promoter or some sort of other insignificant nightlife rat.
They feel more at home in a bar or club than they do in their own house.
I'm certainly not suggesting that you try and live this sort of unrewarding existence, but I do want you see that you can succeed even if your self-esteem isn't where it should be.
Work on your self-esteem, but don't think that you need 'immovable' self-worth either.
You simply need to -
- Look as good as you can.
- Talk to girls.
- Try to be aggressive with the ones that like you.
- Have sex with some of them and gain confidence.
Enjoy it too.
You will find that success will exponentially increase your confidence (self-esteem) if you have been on the sidelines for all these years.
How Much Confidence Do You Really Need To Consistently Nail Hot Pussy?
Like all the other fundamentals - you need to have ABOVE-AVERAGE (B+ or higher) confidence to have a consistent hot sex life.
You also need to have ABOVE-AVERAGE (B+) sex appeal so that sexually available women will make it easy for you.
(if you neglect these things or are always "working on your game", it will be an uphill battle for the rest of your life)
If you are looking to nail hot pussy on the same day/night, you'll need a house or apartment within about 10 minutes (on foot) of where hot girls party (or next best: shop/hang out, i.e. beach). Otherwise you'll be relying on your cell phone, "dates" and their 'window' (see 'Window and Maybe Girls'), which becomes nothing but a hassle once you know you can Get Laid.
I could over-exaggerate the matter and tell you that ONLY supremely, immovable confident, top 1% guys can have a hot sex life (so buy my eBook!), but the fact of the matter is - IT'S NOT TRUE.
The reality is -
Once you have above-average (B+) fundamentals, you should GO GET LAID and not "work on your confidence".
Confidence largely comes from experience anyway.
Just go Get Laid, regardless of how confident you are.
This should be good news to all.
You don't have to become the exaggerated, immovable, invincible movie star that so many inexperienced guys picture.
(related: Hollywood knows you are insecure)
You need to be ABOVE-AVERAGE (B+ or higher) at the stuff that matters.
There are VERY FEW guys that are above-average looking and also not scared to talk to girls.
You might know some, but think of the general population.
Once you are ABOVE-AVERAGE (B+), you will be able to get hot girls if you talk to them. After you sleep with them, you'll gain more experience (and confidence).
Maybe you've seen, in-person, moments and examples of a guy with immovable confidence. It happens.
But it's simply only a snapshot in time.
He is human. Just like you.
He just probably has more experience.
If you have -
- Above-Average (B+) Sex Appeal
- Above-Average (B+) Social Freedom (and Killer Instinct)
- Above-Average (B+) 'Swag Factor' (Social Status/Skills)
- Above-Average (B+) "Confidence" (Sense of Entitlement)
The only thing that is separating you from having 3+ attractive girls in your bed a month is a lack of effort or access to women.
Both of which - you can also control.
Confidence isn't overrated, it's one of the primary fundamentals (Sense of Entitlement), but how confident you truly need to be to get results is often exaggerated.
Alright, enough reading.
You're only allowed to stay home on Saturday night if you've already slept with 100 girls.