Be Aggressive, Not Smooth
I want to give you the mindsets and mentalities that go hand-in-hand with the "Screening" GET LAID 'game' that we embrace and encourage.
If there is any single word that represents the style, techniques, mindsets (and lifestyle) that we have, it would be- AGGRESSIVE.
In terms of hitting on chicks, in short, being "AGGRESSIVE" means sexually-charged dialogue and physical advances. The latter (physical advances) is more important. Everything else is simply small talk. Touching chicks early and often will tell you if she is sexually available and potentially DTF. It's specifically meant to "screen out" the girls that aren't sexually available. In my opinion and experience, it is by far the most efficient and productive style and mindset if you are trying to Get Laid.
Though all the guys we have worked with over the past 2.5 years have different starting points, styles, looks, issues and mindsets- my job is usually the same-
1) Teach them the easiest possible framework to Get Laid on a regular basis and NOTHING more.
2) Clean out ALL of the bullshit, inefficient, unproductive and largely ineffective mentalities/techniques that clutter their brain and slow down their progress and results.
This discussion on "Be Aggressive, Don't Worry About Being Smooth," is characteristic of this.
What is Being Smooth?
Most guys, whether community guys or "normal" (haha) guys, have some sort of definition, image or preconceived notion of what "being smooth" is. There's no official definition, so I'll make one up- 'being smooth' [as related to mainstream 'game'] is interacting verbally and non-verbally with a girl you want to bang while seemingly avoiding mistakes, noticeable awkwardness and rejection, and ideally displaying masculine qualities such as leadership and confidence.
What's the Problem with Trying to Be Smooth?
If you know what GoodLookingLoser.com is all about (screening), you'll probably know right away why I'm not really a fan of telling guys they "need" to be smooth, especially when they are just starting out. Masculine qualities, leadership and confidence is fine. The rest of it is largely 'safe game'. Safe game doesn't get you laid.
Being smooth, in itself, is certainly not a bad thing.
Trying to be smooth, however, when you should be trying to be aggressive, will slow down your results and development.
The entire idea of 'being smooth' is not quite focused on our goal- GETTING LAID. While it's not completely non-congruent, the whole idea of 'being smooth' or 'trying to be smooth' encourages a lot of mindsets and behaviors that I'm trying to erase from your brain.
For one, "being smooth," encourages 'I Hope She Likes Me' game, where your mindset and the actions which follow are meant to get the girl to "like" you, thereby avoiding or delaying rejection. There are numerous problems with this type of mindset. The biggest one is it keeps you from being aggressive in an attempt to avoid or delay rejection. Also significant- it doesn't shed any light on if the girl is sexually available. You need to be aggressive and find sexually available girls if you are going to Get Laid a lot. There's about 789 other problems with the 'I Hope She Likes Me' approach and mindset. Mr. Smooth is usually [trying to be] smooth to impress the girl, usually it's not even his personality (sometimes it is), but 95% of guys trying to be smooth are doing so to get the girl to like them. They'd be better off being aggressive than trying to be smooth, they would get MUCH further MUCH faster. They'd also learn more along the way. It's hard to be aggressive when you focused on being smooth.
Second, "being smooth," doesn't necessarily help you Get Laid. Authentic finesse, or LEGITIMATELY being smooth and physical, can help you Get Laid, but it's not really necessary. If you are smooth, able to seemingly avoid mistakes, awkwardness and rejection- it is meaningless unless you have a legitimate physical sexual dialogue with the girl. If you are "sloppy" and not smooth, but you have an increasingly physical sexual dialogue with the girl, you are on your way to banging her.
I thought about it recently. I've gotten drunk, been discoordinated, been sloppy and nailed more girls than I can (literally) remember. I've also been Mr. Smooth, witty, quick on my feet and had interactions go absolutely nowhere simply because there was no physical dialogue and for all I know- the girl wasn't even sexually available to me or anyone else. It's hard to be aggressive when you focused on being smooth.
Third, also related to the previous two points, being [or trying to be] smooth, discourages proactive leadership. You will often be on the girl's timetable, waiting for signs and permission to escalate physically or verbally on the girls. 99% of the time, if you are strictly abiding by the girl's timetable, you aren't going to be moving very fast. If you are busy "being smooth," in a natural attempt to avoid rejection, you will often be less proactive and less physically assertive. Trying to be smooth will make you play "safe game" and safe game doesn't get you laid. In order to Get Laid a lot, you need to fully embrace the masculine leadership role and have the girl follow. It's hard to be proactive when you focused on being smooth.
Why Do Guys Think They Need To Be Smooth?
A general misunderstanding of how to Get Laid makes a lot of guys feel that they have to be smooth. I think this is reinforced by the numerous examples in scripted Hollywood movies that try to depict masculine men. Hollywood shows [generally good looking] men "smoothly" interacting with women that already like them and are sexually available. It's not that these examples are totally "wrong," they just don't translate into the aggressive mindsets that are needed to bang HOT girls on a regular basis.
Another reason is that "being smooth" reflects confidence and alpha male qualities. While this is true, so does being aggressive.
How Can I Be Aggressive and Smooth?
Again, 'being smooth' isn't "wrong," it's just not the first priority.
One thing to keep in mind is 'being smooth' is not a mindset, technique or style.
Being smooth is simply a product of LEGIT experience of having and executing a repeatable game plan over-and-over.
This is true of nearly anything skill that looks 'smooth' or effortless.
I like to give sports examples.
If you've ever seen an Olympic swimmer, they look 'smooth' as they swim through the water. They move fast, not a wasted motion, not a breath too many- it's incredible. The only reason they are able to do this is because they have done it 10,000 times in the exact same, repeatable manner. They aren't trying to be smooth, what you are seeing is simply a product of executing a repeatable game plan over-and-over. It is a product of experience, it is not a technique.
This case might be obvious but the same holds true for hitting on girls. It's simply experience and a game plan at work.
I like this baseball example-
The best [most smooth] swing I have EVER seen was that of Ken Griffey Jr.
Needless to say, Ken Griffey Jr. hit a lot of home runs. This was his natural swing from the first time he picked up a baseball bat at 6 years old. He wasn't actively trying to be smooth, he is just repeating a swinging motion that he had done for 30 years.
At the same time, there's guys that hit a lot more home runs than Ken Griffey Jr. They didn't have as smooth/pretty of a swing, but they hit the ball harder and farther than Griffey Jr. If they had tried to be more smooth, they wouldn't have been hitting as many home runs. There's a lot of guys that have a very smooth swing that can't hit the ball out of the infield.
It doesn't matter how it "looks," what matters is the RESULT.
Parallel to this is picking up girls- I know a lot of "Mr. Smooth" guys that don't Get Laid that much, they play it safe and aren't physically assertive. I know a lot of sloppy "naturals" that can get HOT bubble ass every other day because they are aggressive. Don't mistake "smooth" for good. Sometimes a smooth guy is legitimately good, but sometimes he is not.
While you're figuring stuff out, being physically aggressive and figuring out your style and not focusing being "Mr. Smooth," will give you faster progress. Smooth might look good and prevent/delay rejection, but being aggressive gets you laid.
Don't be smooth, Get Laid.
In order to "get smooth," you simply have to figure out, refine and embrace your style while being physically aggressive and do it a bunch of times. This sometimes involves trying new things, purely for experimentation.
My Style (and Scotty's Too)
A lot of my friends have remarked that I'm 'smooth' when they see me moving fast with chicks. Again, what they are seeing is a product of experience, not techniques at work or an active effort to be smooth. Grabbing a girl's hair and pulling it or telling her my dick is big isn't exactly Mr. Smooth game.
Also, both Scotty and I have a "Laid-Back but Physically Aggressive" style, this is sometimes confused for "being smooth" or having a "smooth" game. It's NOT being smooth, it's simply experience and having a game plan. You don't need to be "Laid-Back but Physically Aggressive" to be smooth, you just need to develop your own thing and repeat it over-and-over.
Being Smooth Isn't In Your Control 90% Of The Time
Yet another reason I don't want you to focus on being smooth is- it's out of your control most of the time.
If a girl isn't sexually-available your interaction isn't likely to go super smooth.
I saw a good example of this about a year ago at this exclusive club (Playhouse) in Hollywood. I saw a seemingly "super smooth" good looking guy, who probably gets a reasonable amount of ass, approach a super hot girl. He did his little thing and the girl wasn't very receptive, she kept looking elsewhere for someone to come and "save her". The guy, who already had 2 or 3 other girls checking him out, got frustrated and told the girl, "fuck you," and walked off. It wasn't his fault though. How do I know? The girl wasn't sexually available that night. How do I know? Cause I was already fucking her and she came and was going home with me. It had nothing to do with him. Same thing probably would have happened to me if I approached his girl.
What's the saying? "It takes two, to tango...?"
Smooth interactions are a product of experience, a repeatable game plan, the girl being sexually available and also a uncontrollable/unpredictable personality chemistry between you and the girl. Half of that is completely out of your control and 90% of the time it's nothing you could have controlled in the first place.
What The Hell Is This "Game Plan" That You Keep Talking About?
I'm going to expand on this another time. In short, you should have a repeatable game plan EVERY TIME you go out to Get Laid. Having a game plan will take out the guesswork of 'what to do next'. You can be on auto-pilot and stay focused on your goal- GETTING LAID. If you stick to this game plan, your interactions will go/look smooth if the girl is sexually available. The game plan will vary upon your logistics but it's generally the SAME EXACT blueprint.
In general, here's my game plan if I'm trying to Get Laid (in this example, I'm going to this bar that is within walking distance of my place on Sunset Blvd. where I pulled over 30 girls from in a 6-month period)-
1. Approach a girl I want to plow
2. Touch her on the wrist, smile, say the line "Hey, I don't do this too often, but I thought you were attractive and I wanted to come see what you were like."
3. Introduce myself
4. Shake her hand, get her name
5. Bodyguard routine
6. Small Talk
7. Grab her bicep "you gotta a license for those guns?"
8. Small Talk
9. Spin her around and slap her ass
10. Tell her, it's hot, let's go over here (grab her hand and start walking to a private place, which I found ahead of time)
11. Small Talk, Get more physical
12. Kiss her
13. Tell her, it's hot, lets go for a walk
14. Walk right out the front door in the direction of my place
15. Touch her and makeout along the way
16. Tell her, I'm going to grab a drink so I don't spend money at the bar, I'll make you a small one too
17. Take her inside, put her on my bed (either get the drinks or not)
18. Fuck her silly
That seems like a lot of steps, but it's basically just 4 steps- Screen, Escalate, Isolate+Escalate, Leave.
The rest is just details.
It's nothing I even have to remember or memorize. I've done it in 3 steps too- Screen, Escalate, Leave.
Keep in mind this can happen VERY QUICKLY. Sometimes in a matter of 15-20 minutes. The girl is just following along. Since I have a game plan- I look smooth, quick, spontaneous and masculine. Again, she doesn't usually resist since I was pretty aggressive and screened her up front with all the physical stuff. I've repeated this more times than I can remember (I guessed >30) when I lived just off Sunset Blvd. The game plan lets me stayed focus and takes out the guesswork.
Having a game plan can make stuff go smoothly. It also seems spontaneous to the girl and allows you to lead the way, often very quickly. If you execute your game plan, don't be surprised if the girl tells you that you are "smooth," when in reality it's mainly a product of having experience and a game plan. Emotionally healthy hot chicks love being fucked by a seemingly "smooth" guy, so don't tell them otherwise :)
I'll talk more about game plans and logistics later.
Putting together a game plan in advance will help things go smoothly and take out the guesswork.
If you have some good interactions and you're 'smooth'... cool. If not, it doesn't really matter because that's not your focus anyway.
Focus on being AGGRESSIVE, don't worry about being smooth.
Jaime Says-- SCREEN ME!!!
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