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Most guys think they do - but sometimes they ultimately don't.
It was sort of both for me actually- I was somewhere in between.
Let me tell you about it-
Everyone has the at least a some level of the same needs and desires.
Everyone wants at least a little bit of love, respect, money and sexual gratification. These are innate human needs, not just selfish 'wants'. As you get better with women, you will ultimately decide how much you WANT (not need) them to be a part of your life. You will also decide to what capacity they will be part of your life.
For guys just starting out or guys that have underachieved in their dating and sex life, the desire for emotional and sexual gratification is usually extremely high. Mine was pretty high, even though I had the average sex and dating life into my mid 20's. I knew I was underachieving in my sex life and I reminded myself of that everyday (not productive, unless I took action).
Everyone has different goals when it comes to dating.
I wasn't super big on having as many one-night stands as possible or knowing that I wouldn't see the girl again. But I damn well wanted to date/be sleeping with a handful of regular super hot girls on a weekly basis. I thought that would be one of the most rewarding things ever. It was for about 2.5 years.
After I achieved (and exceeded) all my "dating" goals, my career and other personal goals took priority. Thankfully, I had the skills and persona to attract high quality compatible women into my life and I picked the best one of them to be my girlfriend. I planned to live a "player" lifestyle until I was about 40 years old. I enjoyed it for a while (over 2 years) and met some amazingly cool and hot women while living in the most beautiful city in the country (Los Angeles). But I found that I wanted something different that was more congruent to my overall lifestyle. I had the power to make that happen. For once, I was in a healthy relationship because I wanted to be, not because I needed to be.
Ironically, this is what seems to be happening to the vast majority of guys I know that are in their late 20s or early 30s that are really good with women. Even to guys that may have banged even more girls than I have. I don't know if it's the stereotypical "settling down" or just a welcome change in priorities.
If you've never enjoyed a high level of success with women, you should. Then you can step back and take a look at your life and rearrange things if you want to. A lot of guys spend 20 years on their career, hoping that if they have enough status or money, they can attract high-quality women. This is completely unnecessary and ultimately does not attract quality women with integrity. Walking up to a chick and talking to her and taking her home is far easier.
You can't get good with women easily, but you can get good with women pretty quick.
I do suggest however - before you get into a relationship, you should meet and sleep with enough girls to satisfy your needs. It especially important to fulfill your standards. Knowing you can get it and have it is very rewarding. You won't be emotionally or sexually needy.
You'll know when it's time to look for a keeper. You need to have the ability to attract women, so you have the self-confidence to stand up for yourself in your relationship. It ultimately makes your chick respect you and makes your relationship better. One of the biggest, if not the biggest decision, you'll make in your life is who you marry (if you believe in that). Make sure it's your decision and not just someone that is safe and equally desperate.
Don't decide now "if you really want this," decide after you have banged 40 or 50 hot girls, maybe 75 or 100. Maybe sure you get experience with a fair amount of the SUPER HOT girls that were formerly 'out of your league'. You gotta experience it ALL to have a good perspective of what you really want. When your dating and sex life suck - the rest of your life suffers. When your dating and sex are going well - the rest of your life will fall into place. I'm talking from experience- I've been on both sides of that. It's not all about pussy, but it's a wonderful distraction if nothing else. :)
Marriage? Not recommended in our times. Divorce laws favor women to the point of enslaving men financially. I am not exaggerating for effect. That's just how it is.
Men must educate themselves on this subject before making this extremely high...
Marriage? Not recommended in our times. Divorce laws favor women to the point of enslaving men financially. I am not exaggerating for effect. That's just how it is.
Men must educate themselves on this subject before making this extremely high risk gamble. 99% of men go into it blind. Sleeping around with a lot of chicks definitely helps you think more clearly when making that decision.
Chris,
I said it enough, I love your site. It has some of the wisest, and down to Earth, advices ever found.
I totally relate to this. I am 100% under my standards, feel needy like hell, and thinking about women takes away energy for the rest...
Chris,
I said it enough, I love your site. It has some of the wisest, and down to Earth, advices ever found.
I totally relate to this. I am 100% under my standards, feel needy like hell, and thinking about women takes away energy for the rest of my life. Somehow the idea (more than the action) of getting women has becomen a life-purpose for me. And I think that the need for validation has becomen the same for many wannabe or actual PUA's, loosing sight of what they were looking for-freedom and-of course- women.
My actual goal is to get enough women and satisfy myself so that everything else will fall into place, and I will have my headspace finally free for LIFE.
As a friend of mine said : "you can dominate only what you don't need"
Keep on
AhuraMazda
hahah, thank you- btw you can't say it enough.. I'm further motivated to work on this whole project when I hear that it's helping some guys out. so i appreciate it a lot
yeah, at the end of the day- it's all about what makes you happy and lines...
hahah, thank you- btw you can't say it enough.. I'm further motivated to work on this whole project when I hear that it's helping some guys out. so i appreciate it a lot
yeah, at the end of the day- it's all about what makes you happy and lines up with your other goals.. realizing your goals can be difficult too. some guys (most) don't actually want to bang 100+ hot girls, they just want have a few girls and know that they can do it... I just encourage guys to make that decision AFTER they have a TON of success. That way their decision(s) will be from 'wants' rather 'needs'
Hey GLL,
By any chance you are an asian mix?
yup I am, you're the first who has asked, Greek-Japanese
Hey Chris,
that text of yours was an eye-opener.
I always felt like the type that just wants to settle down but everytime I did, I ended up feeling that I have sold myself short.
I know I can have much more beautiful women and I exactly know...
Hey Chris,
that text of yours was an eye-opener.
I always felt like the type that just wants to settle down but everytime I did, I ended up feeling that I have sold myself short.
I know I can have much more beautiful women and I exactly know the type of woman I want to marry but I am plain afraid of approaching them.
I tell you that after being in the pu community from 2008 to 2010 and having coached a lot of guys that became very succesfull, yet I never got the girls I wanted.
When they were my type, they were psycho or emotionally instable.
When they were of great character, they were unlikely to be close to my type though "other guys" always thought they were hot. (Still: NOT MY TYPE!)
I am stuck in another situation like that and seriously "afraid" to settle since I know she is not what I want for life, no matter how lovely she can be.
I am just emotionally addicted to her affection though she is emotionally unstable AND not my type.
I feel so stupid since I know what I have to do but I am too afraid, not only cause I gained weight (due to make it harder for me to leave her, psychological bs)
As I always considered myself a good looking loser and what I just wrote is basically the story of my dating life so far.
I want to get out of that hell but I don't know how.
Any advice, bro?
Hey Wicked- sorry for the late response weve been having a lot of trouble with the blog and especially processing comments
I'd dedicate the next 2-3yrs. to srictly being and staying single.. you should only consider a relationship for all the...
Hey Wicked- sorry for the late response weve been having a lot of trouble with the blog and especially processing comments
I'd dedicate the next 2-3yrs. to srictly being and staying single.. you should only consider a relationship for all the right reasons (and one of them is: you want it, but dont need it out of insecurity)... in the meantime work hard on your body and put together a cool style (fashion). get used to meeting people and see that you actually have a lot of opinions (provided that you look good and are pretty cool)
I encourage you to sign up for the forum where we can talk more often
Chris
I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.
Thanks again Chris, life would suck without you.
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