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The Very Basics of Prenuptial Agreements
(non-legal advice from the based lawyer)
note: This is not legal advice. Our guest, Mike, is a Los Angeles based attorney but you are not his client. Anything he says should be confirmed with your own attorney. The purpose of our discussion is to provide a decent overview of what you need to know BEFORE you get married and the questions to seek counsel on. For many, including myself, that is years away. But now is the perfect time to learn. This post is subject to our General Disclaimer and the content below is simply our opinions that you should discuss with your attorney.
Perhaps this isn't the typical intelligently immature Good Looking Loser post, but something that I feel ALL guys should know.
It's kind of a big deal and you should know what you are doing.
Foreword (Good Looking Loser)
I'm going to start talking about relationships (committed/uncommitted) in the near future, this is a related topic that I feel EVERYONE should see.
Unlike others in this sphere, I'm not against getting married. I will be one day. You probably will too.
In order to prevent future destruction, it would be a good idea to learn what you are getting into (and potentially out of) - from a legal standpoint.
You've heard the horror stories.
They almost always go like this -
Guy catches his wife cheating with another guy with a bigger dick.
Guy loses half his assets (or more) when he divorces the girl.
(he's offered an hourly job as a live in cuckold, but declines)Guy loses his kids as well.
Guy remains poor and single for the rest of his life, girl continues to get pounded by the bigger, more pleasurable dick and teases her ex-husband via Facebook.
The End.
It happens and it's a bummer.
Let's not let that be you.
Information (aka random opinions), emotional stories and non-professional advice about Prenuptial Agreements is in no short supply on the Internet.
Our general advice is to ignore it, not accept anything as fact and get yourself a real divorce lawyer in your state that can spell out how it works. You will likely find that many of the horror stories (why are you reading those anyway?) are simply the result of not hiring a real attorney or cutting corners to save legal fees.
Since I only spent ~10 days in Law School, I'll turn you over to Michael Cernovich - a Los Angeles Criminal Defense lawyer, creator of Danger & Play, Social Justice Warrior destroyer and hero to gamers everywhere.
(google: Mike Cernovich GamerGate for more information)
This podcast is brought to you by -
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Introduction - How to Get Married and Not Lose
0:00 Say Hi to Mike the lawyer - someone you've never heard of.
(obviously you've heard of him if you read Good Looking Loser)
0:45 Add Good Looking Loser (Chris & Scotty) on Twitter - we are going to get the Twitter rolling. I appreciate it.
1:20 Topic of the day - Prenuptial Agreements
1:50 Disclaimer - Not Legal Advice
1:55 Defining 'Prenuptial Agreement' (you need a lawyer, potential spouse needs a separate lawyer)
2:30 Primary purpose of a Prenuptial Agreement = Protection from Alimony
(contract CANNOT waive child support - a federal law)
2:50 How to think of a Prenuptial Agreement in a single sentence
3:10 Can a Prenuptial Agreement act as a Will too?
3:40 We always think of a Prenuptial Agreement as a legal way to protect our assets (property, cash, investments, etc.), can it also be used to protect from a spouse's debt?
5:30 Who should consider drafting a Prenuptial Agreement? Only rich guys?
(Mike's big picture perspective - excellent)
7:00 What considerations are MANDATORY for your Prenuptial Agreement?
(term discussed: Community Property aka "she gets half")
9:30 What is a prenuptial consideration(s) that guys often get burned on?
(Not getting one signed, men not fully disclosing all assets/"intimidating" girl into signing it without legal counsel - invalid)
11:20 Mike's suggestion for how to smoothly get your potential spouse to consider and sign the agreement.
13:40 'Separate Property' discussed; refers to your assets prior to marriage or inheritance
* 15:10 I meant to say "Community Property" not Separate Property up for grabs, my fault.
16:15 What about if you had a business prior to marriage? What happens to that? (Mike's hypothetical)
18:25 So you got a proper Prenuptial Agreement - is your shit actually safe? What about the guys that get screwed?
(shit = assets)
20:10 Mike is getting married in a year, what is his legal approach? (and what guys should do)
(I'm taking notes here - forgive me)
23:40 Prenuptial Agreement ALREADY exists between you and the state - even if you don't have one
24:50 What if I'm scared to talk to my girl about a Prenuptial Agreement? (and how businessmen handle it)
26:00 Prenuptial Agreements PREVENT conflict and divorce legal fees, not the opposite
27:00 What is a "Sunset Clause"? Prenuptial Agreement that expires in 10-15 years, when to throw the contract out?
29:00 Closing thoughts from Mike, what to do next and getting one written online (see below)
Protect your past and future!
Respectfully discuss the contract with your girl far in advance of your wedding day.
If she is a girl truly worth spending the rest of your life with, she won't have any problem signing it if the terms are fair and explained to her.
If she comments that she doesn't want "it" to be "about the money", then she can have her way -
A Prenuptial Agreement assures that people ARE marrying for love and not money. Not the opposite.
Pour Conclure
I hope you learned something. I did.
Like I said, talking to Mike is literally like "school" for me.
A lawyer would have charged you $200-300 to tell you this same information.
If you are interested in drafting a VALID Prenuptial Agreement, you should see an attorney who is in your state.
You can also use services such as -
I have personally used Legal Zoom for a variety of basic legal matters.
I found the service to be nothing short of excellent.
Remember, it's important that a separate lawyer examines your Prenuptial Agreement and explains it to your potential spouse.
Do me a solid, add us on Twitter if you have it -
Drop your comments or questions below.
We might be able to answer questions if they aren't too state specific.
Please understand that any and all explanations are not legal advice and do not constitute an attorney-client relationship.
You already know that, I've mentioned it 5 times.
awsome, will listen to at the gym tonight
you guys should do a lot more of these they have always been tight
A decade later or if at all, prenuptial agreement is the #1 thing that I would get, then the ring.
Thank you Chris for sharing this podcast and thanks Mike for the ways in which you have been helping me be a better man each day.
Thank you SS
I am actually for prenuptial agreement. But I noticed when this topic comes up in a conversation, girls usually have this mindset that prenups can give the appearance that there is a lack of trust between the partners. What is your take on that...
I am actually for prenuptial agreement. But I noticed when this topic comes up in a conversation, girls usually have this mindset that prenups can give the appearance that there is a lack of trust between the partners. What is your take on that Chris?
yeah, and that is the reason that most guys avoid getting one done - even though they know they should.
re: trust
people change. lives evolve. that is undeniable. deal with the stress and get one signed, if its important to you. if the girl is...
yeah, and that is the reason that most guys avoid getting one done - even though they know they should.
re: trust
people change. lives evolve. that is undeniable. deal with the stress and get one signed, if its important to you. if the girl is faithful, she'll forget about it in a week.
My mom once told me that pre-nup's seem to be a bad way to start a marriage, something about trust blah blah. But I think it's totally different between their time and the generation we have now. That's how I see it anyway but what do I know,...
My mom once told me that pre-nup's seem to be a bad way to start a marriage, something about trust blah blah. But I think it's totally different between their time and the generation we have now. That's how I see it anyway but what do I know, hehe. This article is definitely worth the read(and worth listening to).
it is a different generation and gender - if a prenup is important to you and important to trust in your relationship - have one signed
LOL I remember telling my mom I would never consider marriage without a prenup and she said, "Guess you're never getting married then." Different generation indeed.
I've also heard many unpleasant stories about dudes losing their shit because of divorce and that they wished they should have signed a prenup.
Hey Chris, maybe you could also discuss on how to go about convincing a girl to sign a prenup agreement without hurting her feelings. Coz most girls have such negative opinions when it comes to it. They'll say that if you need to get a prenup,...
Hey Chris, maybe you could also discuss on how to go about convincing a girl to sign a prenup agreement without hurting her feelings. Coz most girls have such negative opinions when it comes to it. They'll say that if you need to get a prenup, you shouldn't be getting married in the first place.
Hey Alvin - how receptive your girl is to a prenup is mainly based on -
1) Her emotional health
2) Her dynamic with you
given that, any "technique" that you use to approach the subject is less significant. That's just something to know up front.
...
Hey Alvin - how receptive your girl is to a prenup is mainly based on -
1) Her emotional health
2) Her dynamic with you
given that, any "technique" that you use to approach the subject is less significant. That's just something to know up front.
I would sit my girl down in private, tell her my concerns about asset protection/debt avoidance - let her know in the event of death/divorce that she will be "taken care of", and tell her that you would be "uncomfortable" without having a contract in place.
There is no reason to yell or try to intimidate her - or even discuss "reasons why we may get divorced".
Reasonable girls will respond just fine to that.
It's polite, genuine and you'll get your concerns handled.
I have a family member with special needs that I need to take care of financially so I need some sort of prenup that sets aside some assets before I get married. I know my girl will understand. Thanks for the tips on how to break it to her.
Very interesting topic. I do think prenups have their place though in this day and age. I agree that prenups protect both parties.
Thanks for a great discussion guys - I dig the focus on the financial part of life, even though for me personally, this particular subject won't be relevant for the next 10-15 years at least ;-)
Chris and Mike check your inbox I'm coming to LA...
Thanks for a great discussion guys - I dig the focus on the financial part of life, even though for me personally, this particular subject won't be relevant for the next 10-15 years at least ;-)
Chris and Mike check your inbox I'm coming to LA for Dec-Jan-Feb and I must meet you no matter what.
Cheers
Thomas
Thanks BT, appreciate it
I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.
Thanks again Chris, life would suck without you.
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