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Turns out it's still hard to get them to meet up, outside of an event that we're both going to. Honest to god, I even tell some of them that I have a girlfriend. They're all happy to chat endlessly on Whatsapp though (why would they do that with someone they wouldn't bother meeting with for tea though?)
What are your thoughts? Numbers game? Could it be a social issue? Girls whom I would consider beneath me are happy to be my friend though. Anybody at this stage?
I'm not an expert with social circles, though I'm quite social in general and I have a couple of thoughts about it.
First of all, as much as we'd like to genuinely befriend girls, we live in two different worlds. And when our worlds meet there's almost always some sexual innuendo/undertone to that interaction. It's because of this that girls are reluctant to hang out with you. If you want to befriend them, there's a transition that usually takes place before you can meet alone.
Let's say you're going to a fundraising event and there are lots of girls you've met previously in other events, who are friends of your friends. (You can add them on facebook, to keep the connection indirectly, and you can build on at a later time.)
During this type of event, most of the socializing is very superficial(but still very important). In order for you to build on this, you should set something up for after the event with a small group. You, a couple of guy friends and the girls. Go out to bars/club, then later to eat. At the end of the night, take the same cab or give her a ride if you're going on the same direction, so you can share more time together and get her used to be alone.
Now, all this can be done to get laid, but if friendship is your goal, you just leave it at that. The more you spend time with her with as few people around as possible, the easier is for her to hang out with you alone another day. Something that could help you a lot, is to bring your girlfriend along with you, so she knows you're just being friendly, and women can connect people in ways that guys can't.
If you skip these steps, and invite the girl after the first time you met, and she accepts, chances are that she has entertained the idea of dating you anyway, so you end up friend-zoning her. From what I've seen around me, the long term guy/girl friendships are usually made of one person being hotter/cooler than the other, where the second person deep down is attracted.
When both the guy and the girl are hot/high social status, they either end up hooking up or they only hang out in groups to feed on each other's status(I"m totally generalizing on this one)
One exception is if you built your friendship while in college or at work.
Having said all this, you should always stick to the fundamentals: Look your best, improve your social skills and status, and hit the numbers.
For starters, drinks and coffee are two entirely different things. I'd assume "coffee" would be a type of day event most likely taking part on a patio consisting of small talk and people watching.
"Drinks" however is a night time event usually consisting of excessive alcohol consumption..
Girls aren't going to coffee with you because 1 you're trying to take a drunk girl out during the day and they don't wanna waste there time or their hung over. OR. They truly aren't your friend lol
Now being friends with girls is awesome! They can introduce you to other girls that you can have sex with or actually date. These types of girls are far and in between and honestly speaking it's most likely going to be a girl that you already have had casual sex with.. reach out to a girl that you have a casual relationship with and try to parley a friend of her.
Former drug user not abuser
Very experienced with social interactions
31 and constantly looking for self improvements
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