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I've had this issue for a long time and now I'm hell-bent on fixing it.
I want to learn how to go out in clubs/discos and have fun dancing. My goal is to be an above average dancer in an average environment, that is not a (too) upscale club, but not a shitty place either. My questions are as follows:
1. How can I develop the ability (from almost zero) to move my body in a congruent manner to the music's rhythm?
2. How can I become above average in it?
3. What is "above average"? I have no experince in this field. Can you link videos for example? I don't want to be top 0.1%. Just above average.
4. How can I avoid being a creep?
5. What do I need to be able to comfortably dance with average partygirls?
This problem makes me sick to my stomach so any and all help is very much appreciated. I want to have a diverse life and going out is part of it. Videos, advice, any input is welcome.
UPDATE: Thanks to Dogdays I now have a more specific goal: learning to "pulse to the music". Moves and girls and everything can come after that. I will need to tone down the fucking tensness of my body, I move like I'm from GTA San Andreas. I believe that doing the AA program will help me with that as well, albeit indirectly. (Today was D24. Total success)
Dancing is elusive in the sense that it isn't something that can be learned through some kind of acquired knowledge, but its just a matter of LETTING GO and not being so self conscious and self-critical.
I used to think I couldn't dance until one day I just started rocking out and I ended up enjoying myself a lot. I realized that Im actually a good dancer when I enjoy the music, even a better dancer than the average person.
You just have to let go and move your body in a way that feels good.
I'm teaching myself to dance. I also had zero experience in dancing and always hated that I couldn't dance.
I'm teaching myself via random videos on youtube and just practising basic steps until I get them down. Plenty of online tutorials that will teach you virtually any aspect of dance you want to learn. I'm working on the shuffle/cutting shapes right now (plenty of dances do require a certain amount of acquired knowledge before you can just let go and feel the music. Rousseau's right, you do have to let go at some point but knowing a few basic steps to base stuff on is a huge help).
I'm taking some casual group hip hop classes as well. In those classes we typically learn a short basic choreographed dance along to a particular song, as well as practising some basic steps. The routines aren't that useful because by next class you've already forgotten the routine, but it's all practice.
Thank you everyone! I really appreciate that. The YT link is gold, special thanks for that. I'll try and find some more like that. If anyone has got some please don't hesitate to share them.
As for "just letting it go", I simply cannot. Not being able to dance is too deeply ingrained within me to do that. I even tried it dead drunk, didn't go. The only strategy is to let go of my perfectionism (hence the desire to only become decent or above average) and learn some moves. However, I view this whole thing in a somewhat holistic manner, I do believe that changing my personality as such will also affect my ability to "let go" when it comes to dancing. (I'm also doing the AA program, about to obliterate D17, I'm convinced it helps me with all areas of my life)
I need to learn moves, even if they'll become less important later on.
Any more input, thoughts or warnings, anything is very much appreciated. Especially links that are applicabe and won't make me look like a creep
I'd suggest learning salsa. It's real dancing that is practiced by 1/4 of the entire world. You'll learn real rhythm. It's a sexy dance. Girls love it. Go to salsa nights and basically get free insta-dates. After a dance class, some girls will go out for drinks and you're already in their circle.
Salsa tends to be an older crowd and it takes a while to learn the rhythm and transfer it over to the music you enjoy. It's also not that much fun and takes lots of time to get the feeling that you are to dancing to that music.
Are you thinking of taking partner dance lessons?
Did you start counting music yet? I don't think you have to worry about being a creep.
Couple of tips: isolations are good to learn on YouTube, get uncomfortable and put yourself in uncomfortable positions, pulsing to the music is important, counting 8s in the music will set you free, focusing on breathing and posture can help you get out of your head and be in the moment (get used to counting first), if you get a boner when dancing with a girl... Don't be afraid to let her feel it, your body will follow your head, good facial expressions is important, practice by yourself, and also just keep it simple and let her play with the music.
Work on one thing a night and you'll be enjoying the dance floor in no time
Get up to 160lb (145)
Learn West coast swing (novice)
How to dougie. The dougie is a really really simple step that is repetitive as all hell but allows you to just keep that step going and freestyle a bit with the arms and get the feel of the music and rhythm. It's also really low key, the kind of thing you can do at a club dance floor without being over the top. This is exactly what I'd do and feel pretty comfortable doing if I jumped on a dance floor right now (and I've only just started learning).
I really like this style so I'm learning how to do it. This guy is teaching me from the ground up. Find dance styles that you like and enjoy, and find video tutorials on them.
I'm glad OP made this topic. I had a dream or some sort of premonition that I would make a topic about this. I'm thankful to know someone else is also wanting to improve this. I got group-ons for private dance lessons as soon as i get my car fixed I'll start taking them. Also want to learn some hip hop and cutting shapes/shuffle moves.
Embrace the fact that i want to fuck these women and roll with it- Ronin
Yeah Salsa is the one genre of dancing that I'm not comfortable with. I booked a Groupon for classes, but actually never used it. I need to find a local class, not a 40 min drive one to follow through with it.
I'd say for dancing, just going out ALOT with friends over the years who can dance and seeing them is the best starting point just trying to fit in. It's like gym. Sometimes I'll see a weird exercise that looks effective, I'll come back try it out IN THE MIRROR and get down form. Dancing in the mirror would be essential for beginners. If you can't see your moves like you see your form in the gym, then you're kind of blindly taking a stab at things.
I almost gave up looking for videos, but this one is simple and shows casual arm movements. I'd use these moves when you are scoping the scene casually looking for girls to dance with.
Mostly bounce on knees throw hands and elbows around and switch up move after every 2 bars. Don't be the guy doing the same thing over and over.
How NOT to salsa dance, but still swag it out lmaooo:
Salsa is on my list, but it takes more time and is a more specific skill than club dancing. I need that now. I'm starting off in a couple days with counting music and working on my body's tensness (I hope this is a word. I mean my body's vey tense and the way I move is not very "smooth". Not a native speaker of English).
I'll also heve to get used to clubs as such. I find it funny but the other day I walked past a few clubs and bars and it gave me elevated heart rates Just to put into perspective what I'm in for. Next time I'll walk through one, after that I'll have a drink. Bit by bit, little by little. Thank you for your input!
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