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I have been having problems with my social skills recently. In middle school, I was really social and unafraid of situation especially with other guys. I was friends with most of the guys and had many girl friends and one girlfriend. But as I progressed, I became more quiet and developed I believe social anxiety. I don't necessarily fear talking to people. I actually like meeting new people rather I can't relate to the students and people at my high school(senior year!!). I can't basically engage my friends to make them invite me to parties. I cant even hold conversations enough with them to invite me or casually invite myself to eat lunch at table with them. I moved from Africa to US this past summer and I don't seem to make friends that are not from my country; I basically hang out with my African friends who are all female and who I don't really relate to in terms of interests.
Anyways, I don't see much of social hierarchical progression at my high school since it is a high school and since I have only one semester left. I want to become more social, not necessarily with women but with guys too, by the time I get to college and have a fresh start. So I have a couple of solutions that I think might help and I hope you provide feedback on my potential solutions or provide better solutions which you think is better.
Solution 1: Get A Job as a waiter at a trendy engaging restaurant that requires meeting new people every second. I am not talking about McDonald's where you stand there and pass on orders and where you don't need to act nice. I was thinking of TGI fridays which is close to my home. Any place I could work you recommend to improve social skills and decrease social judgment anxiety. Do you know a place where co-workers are very close to each other and engage each other and invite each other to parties or is that just in movies? Any place where teenagers work the most that are not dull fast food places? Or any other job other than sales (which I don't want. I hate them. No offense)
Solution 2: Bulk and Develop a Godly Body: I think having a muscular and atheistic body would provide more confidence to me. It will indirectly make me confident. Any insight? I am a thin scrawny guy. I am currently trying to increase weight and I gained 8 pounds this past 1.5 months. Mediocre results, I am seeking better results.
Thanks for anyone willing to help. Please consider the fact that I am a high school student so keep your advice related to me (I am not going to cold approach people on the street for now!). Any advice on first 2 months of college also appreciated
You always want to put yourself in the best positions to succeed. Whether your a social butterfly or not there are things you could do to make it easier. A waiter.. working anywhere where the women outnumber the men, or there are a lot of interaction with he opposite sex would be helpful.
Working at a school , footlocker, joining a club at school or sports league...etc Its a ton of things you can do to make socializing easier.
Aight thanks guys, what restaurants do you recommend that you see a lot of teen/college workers that you know of that are social? I will check out the clothing stores you mentioned too @Sandshark. I will try to try out for Track and Field. I am good at soccer and running so.
1) Which restaurant is trendy to work as a teen where most workers are young?
2) I am trying to talk to people. But I can't relate enough with them to hang out with them without major silences? Maybe I just need to get accustomed to US culture before I can make connections.
Read about social skills and body language online and put yourself in positions to practice them. You will make mistakes but they will become fewer as your skills improve with time. Being an interesting person and having things to talk about helps, also. People come from all sorts of different walks of life, being able to empathize with people no matter what their background is will naturally make your interactions with them go smoother/better.
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