TOPIC: Captains Log

Attempting another kratom washout starting today. I ended up buying some quality organic india ashwaganda yesterday for this purpose.

So far today ive taken 40 mg loperamide, 1200 mg ashwagandha, maybe 1 gram of phenibut ( eye balled ), 2 grams fish oil, 5000 iu vitamin d, 4 grams vitamin c and probably a whole pot of coffee.

Some guys like to wait until they feel the uncomfortable feelings of withdrawal start to come up and then take there supplements. In my experience its better to start loading up hours before that ever occurs. My main issue is having a legit botanical shop that sells quality kratom only a half hour away from me. Its been so easy for me to rationalize getting more kratom every time bad feelings start to come up. Anyways, this is nothing new.

Ive been reading a lot about Ostarine recently and ive pretty much made the decision I want to run a cycle of this. In the past ive thought about doing roids but the risk / reward never appealed to me. Ostarine though seems perfect.

Going to be skyping with my NLP coach soon so ill wrap this up. Hoping I can stay commited to this washout... im starting to sweat.

Now its only the second day of the washout so things could drastically change by tonight.

But as of right now I feel about 90% withdrawal free after only one day. After doing 25-30+ grams a day for god knows how long. And taking Kratom for 3 years. This is without question the fastest and best ive ever felt doing a washout this quickly.

Now I know that the loperamide and ashwagandha help immensley. As well as the other supplements like curcumin, vitamin C etc etc. But something ive thought about weeks ago and im now believing is the case for why I feel so much better.

EXERCISING AND MUSCLE MASS. Thats the secret. Having more muscle is I believe the #1 reason I can feel this good this quickly.

Another factor im positive about is the weather. Its been 60-65 degrees outside the last 3 days and just being able to walk around outside feels amazing. This is something I planned for as well when thinking about the washout.


Another random tidbit, yesterday was the first time Ive had sore legs in maybe a year? Its pathetic how weak ive gotten but also very motivating just knowing how much I can improve. The testosterone rebound from not having kratom in the system has created a huge sex drive increase. Not gonna lie ive jerked off 5 times in the last 35-40 hours.

I'll end by just saying this, at this very moment I feel like my old self. To keep beating a dead horse I know that weight lifting is answering a lot of problems that have came up. Im confident that as long as I stay consistent with this ( the gym ) that my brain will find the answers im looking for.


Edit- Im going to experiment and see how I do with no supplements today besides vitamin D and C.

I got my 15th lay the other day. A cute, thick ( good thick ) 5'2, 19 year old girl from badoo. I would say shes a 6 for most guys but to me because of her ass, and that im not picky, ill say a 7. We had a lot of fun, ill have the lay report up sometime soon as im sure some new guys can learn from it. I have some creep pictures for the first time but want to make sure they cant be traced back to her somehow ( i get paranoid ) EDIT* TAKEN CARE OF. so if anyone can help me with that please PM me.

I want to say that I believe going to the gym consistently is really paying off and made the biggest difference with this girl.

Other random things. I have a slight fever thats come out of nowhere. It fucking sucks and my energy has disappeared. Hopefully it doesnt last long.

My grandma had a scare and was put in the hospital. I went and spent sometime with her a few nights ago by myself and seeing her hooked up with all these tubes etc was a horrible thing to see. We thought she might have tuberculosis but I guess its something else, the doctors dont really know. In any case when she gets out of the hospital im going to convince my grandpa to get her some curcumin, quality fish oil etc. Obviously im not a doctor but taking some powerful anti inflammatories seems the best way to go and see how she reacts.


Im still not talking to my mom and have her phone blocked.

When I hooked up with the girl on the 16th it was my first time drinking in over 2 months. The urge to drink at all is the lowest its been in as long as i can remember. After doing a lot of thinking about this im almost positive not being in contact with my family is the biggest reason.


about a week ago I was listening to Joe Rogans podcast ( a new addiction ). Him and a guest mentioned this plant called Ibogaine that people use for treating heroine and other addictions. Ever since then ive been researching this stuff like a crazy person. If anyone doesnt know what it is and you are struggling with addictions, or any emotional issue. I urge you to do some research. Basically ive come to the conclusion that in the future, hopefully soon, ill be going to one of these ibogaine retreats in mexico or possibly canada.

So last friday morning my grandma passed away. It was a big shock for everyone as we all thought she was going to make a full recovery and be ok.

Along with that dealing with other family members, mainly my sister has been extremely stressful. Really the last week has been more stressful than I can remember. I know I can become a drama queen and say things like this a lot but really the last week has been horrible. In the last year and a half i've lost 4 elderly family members. I know this is life but its all happening so fast and seeing my dad, uncles and grandfather become so upset is hard to digest.

Sitting at my grandmothers viewing and funeral I was just full of regret and shame. I wanted her to see me as a proud independent successful man. This will haunt me.

Right now im talking to a few people about iboga / ibogaine treatments for my addictive nature and depression. If anyone is struggling with depression, anxiety and addiction then I strongly suggest doing some research on this plant. Until I actually try the stuff I wont talk anymore about it. But people are having amazing results from taking it.

After listening to people on here and reading other material my total focus is going to be on my mental health. I believe I have some sort of depression but im not even sure anymore. My whole life feels like im a dog chasing after its tail and running in circles.

Thankfully very soon ill be experiencing my first Ayahuasca ceremony. The only thing Im hoping to get from this is some sort of direction or answers from deep inside my mind. Something I didnt see before. Other than that Im going in with no expectations.


EDIT- heres a great website explaining Iboga / ibogaine. ibogawellness.com/

I might be going to this place over the summer.

I wish my grandfather was alive