TOPIC: Captains Log

My #1 goal for the rest of this year and 2015 is going to be improving my social skills everyday. I used to be a pretty charismatic guy ( still can be when drunk ) but the last few years i find it more and more difficult to hold everyday conversations. This has had a big impact on me with women as well every relationship in my life. I fully believe that when i train myself to get better at talking with strangers its going to make the biggest difference in my life at being succesful in whatever i choose to do.

Im going to start keeping a personal log to hold myself accountable for improving my social skills, holding small talk and conversations.

My first rule to myself is going to be giving a compliment to two strangers (preferably hot girls) everyday for 30 days. I know i can do this.

My second rule to myself is to spend atleast 7 hours in public everyday around people for 30 days.

My third rule is to keep this log updated no matter what so that i can learn from it in the future. I dont own a computer right now so if i miss a day ill still have it written down in my journal which ill then rewrite into this log.

Right now im listening to Dale Carnegies How to win friends and influence people on audio tape. Im going to listen and then relisten to each chapter over and over until im losing my mind because thats the only way i learn anything lol.

I also plan on going to some meetups from meetup.com very soon and will try to find atleast 2 that i like enough to keep going back. On second thought ill just look for the two closest to my house. Any social interaction will be good for me even if the people end up being weirdos.

Ill write more later but need to go eat right now


Edit* I'll be changing my goals before the new year. My social skills arent nearly as bad as i thought they were but when i get anxiety / depressed it does make things unmanageable

Good stuff Ramius- I would suggest not limiting the compliments to "hot" girls.

One of the things I'll do to get "warmed-up" when I go downtown is I'll tell anyone and everyone something special.
I tell ugly/fat girls they are beautiful all of the fucking time when I'm in the club. It makes me feel good, and it makes them feel good.
I'll tell guys, usually black guys, when they are walking by me "hey pimp you looking fucking good tonight go get you some pussy" or something like that. It just spreads good vibes and hot girls will see you talking to all of these people.

i gave a few different ugly fat black girls FULL BLOWN HUGS this past saturday- just because they were nervous/shy and standing by the wall. i felt like a million bucks, and they started to enjoy themselves more after that. hot girls SEE THIS

boom, you're no longer like every other guy out that night.


but yeah- this applies to more than just being downtown in a club.
Like chris says- start out with something SIMPLE. don't *make* yourself have to tell hot girls only that they are beautiful
tell the ugly girls that you couldn't even get your cock up to that they are the prettiest girls you've seen all day

i bet if you do that, the next hot girl that comes up you won't be near as freaked out about talking to them
in fact- i'm going to join you on this. i'm supposed to cold-approach 1 girl a day from now on. i've talked 2 two hot girls today but neither were *real* approaches with intent. i need to get warmed up by talking to a bunch of people…



let's tell all the ugly girls they are beautiful
it works (for me for sure)
#spreadgoodvibes #hotgirlsseeyoudoingthis #theiregoisfragileandtheyarejealous

Cool log.

I have always had a knack for talking to people and going out of my way to make others feel good. I literally make sure at least once a day, I tell a random person a compliment. The compliment is always sincere. This typically leads to small talk. It has actually lead to phone numbers and once or twice it lead to lays. No bullshit.

You kind of have to desensitize yourself to talking to people to be able to talk to anyone. I think what you're doing is awesome.

The coolest thing with talking to random people is you get to meet and get to know some REALLY interesting people. You never know who you are talking to until you do.

I'm in the same boat.
What's that meetup.com you're talking about? Ever been to one of their events before?
I wish I knew a place for public speaking (a group where everybody just speaks/presents to the group about anything, everybody with the purpose of getting over the fear/nervousness of public speaking)

Change wrote: I'm in the same boat.
What's that meetup.com you're talking about? Ever been to one of their events before?
I wish I knew a place for public speaking (a group where everybody just speaks/presents to the group about anything, everybody with the purpose of getting over the fear/nervousness of public speaking)

They actually got toastmasters for that. Im subscribed to a dude called playersupreme on youtube and he's constantly urging his subscribers to join toastmasters to get rid of their social anxiety and fear of public speaking. They have different levels to it too, like beginners, intermediate, etc.

Google "toastmasters" which should lead you to their website so you can find different meetups in your area.

KK - I agree totally about not restricting myself to only complimenting attractive girls. Eventually though i wanna be able to get past my AA and i know right now talking to hot girls (while sober) is the most difficult for me. So complimenting any pretty girl for even the smallest thing is a step in the right direction for me. The two compliment rule is just a small step to get the ball rolling and get some momentum for sure.

This quote from Dc7 yesterday hit home for me

Could be a million different things. I know when I was inexperienced I would get girls out on dates with my looks and then blow it because my lack of social interaction with women. It got better every date I went on but I specifically remember one of the first dates I went on when I joined GLL the chick obviously didn't want a second date because she ignored my texts and then I actually heard through the grape vine she said "he was hot until he talked". So looks aren't everything, you need to have social skills as well and killer instinct to actually go for the kill on all of your dates.

Mack - desensitizing yourself to people is definitley true. Its exposure therapy pure and simple. Social skills is a SKILL, it can be learned and unlearned.

Change- I have gone to one meetup a few months back. It was a spiritual meetup, im into a lot of law of attraction, buddhism etc type stuff so i checked it out. This particular meetup was a little too cultish for my liking though. The people were just a little too friendly so i havent been back to that one but wouldnt discourage anyone else from giving it a try. Personally its perfect for what im trying to do but im just going to find one closer to my house. Like RuggedALAN said google toastmasters, im going on a roadtrip to New york soon but will be looking into that myself when im back.
EDITING

@Ruggedalan
OMG! exactly what I was looking for (I think - I'll see when I'm there )!
thank you!
most of the sites you guys reference (okcupid,...) are USA only, but this ones in Belgium as well (and all around the world)!

EDIT: is there something like this for speaking in smaller groups? (like in a circle) I still get nervous doing that as well.

Did one compliment at barnes n nobles not long ago by telling a lady her boots were cool. She gave me a surprised look and had a bitch vibe about her.

My voice sounded very unconfident, low and monotone. It took a lot of force to blurt out " those are cool boots.."

I'm telling you bro! Start with the less than attractive women FIRST.
That will do what Mack mentioned, desensitize you when you're talking to -people in general-.

Have to drop the mentality that you have to treat pretty girls different. Logically, you should. But that doesn't get you results.
Treat them like you would anyone else and all the sudden they want your cock more than ever.

I put up a new video, at some point in it, I talk about what you're going through right now. And what I'm going to do to be able to approach those hot girls. It isn't very organized, but I basically say what I say here.

Consider every single person you see to be an opportunity for a social interaction. Every. Single. Person.
No one is special to you. (hot girls = fat girls = guys = old people = poor person = whatever. treat them all as one)
You're the special one.

your right KK.. This is the right attitude to have. Puting hot girls on a pedestal has been a problem for me way too long.

Ok im going to go eat some food then head up to my local walmart and go hunt some people to compliment. Its going to be my own little game from now on.

Also any Hot girl i see im going to stop and start walking in her direction making sure i walk past her. Ssk talked about this before as a form of exposure therapy. Ill make sure to try and get some eye contact as well and not look away.

Im going to be the creepiest mother fucker in walmart....

so it seemed the bar was set pretty high for being the creepiest mother fucker at wal mart... my god its like the walking dead in that place.

I ended up saying " Hi " to two girl workers who passed me. One was nerdy and unattractive and the other was mildly cute. They both looked sort of shocked and a little excited i said hi, this was a nice feeling.

I then was looking at the toys clearance section for a minute while this lady was near by. After i made this duck dynasty doll make a noise she asked if i made some other toy make a noise because she tryed to and nothing happened. I said " no it was this duck dynasty doll " , she sort of gave a half hearted giggle at this and for some reason i felt nice. It felt nice she asked me such a simple question... my god ive been a hermit for too long.

There was some pretty hot girls with some redneck looking boyfriends i noticed at wal mart as well.

I then drove across the street to meijer ( a shopping center in michigan similar to wal mart ). After walking around for awhile people watching and looking at random items i finally walked past a lady in her late forties im guessing who obviously just had her hair done ( it looked really good ). She was older and overweight but you could tell she used to be pretty hot. Quickly i went in for the kill. " I like your hair " with sort of a retarded grin on my face. She was definitley caught off guard but i could tell from her voice she was genuinely happy.

Her: " oh thank you " Me: " yeah it looks nice " Her: " thanks "

I left the store and drove away blasting music on my radio feeling fucking great. Its pretty stupid how much better i feel than i did earlier but i really do feel great as im writing this. Sticking to small goals at first is a big thing for me. I used to watch Chris's videos and get super jacked up to go out and talk to hot girls but then realize im scared shitless when i actually see the hot girls. Its much better to just start off with smaller goals. This is going to be good for me.

Captain Ramius wrote: so it seemed the bar was set pretty high for being the creepiest mother fucker at wal mart... my god its like the walking dead in that place.

I ended up saying " Hi " to two girl workers who passed me. One was nerdy and unattractive and the other was mildly cute. They both looked sort of shocked and a little excited i said hi, this was a nice feeling.

I then was looking at the toys clearance section for a minute while this lady was near by. After i made this duck dynasty doll make a noise she asked if i made some other toy make a noise because she tryed to and nothing happened. I said " no it was this duck dynasty doll " , she sort of gave a half hearted giggle at this and for some reason i felt nice. It felt nice she asked me such a simple question... my god ive been a hermit for too long.

There was some pretty hot girls with some redneck looking boyfriends i noticed at wal mart as well.

I then drove across the street to meijer ( a shopping center in michigan similar to wal mart ). After walking around for awhile people watching and looking at random items i finally walked past a lady in her late forties im guessing who obviously just had her hair done ( it looked really good ). She was older and overweight but you could tell she used to be pretty hot. Quickly i went in for the kill. " I like your hair " with sort of a retarded grin on my face. She was definitley caught off guard but i could tell from her voice she was genuinely happy.

Her: " oh thank you " Me: " yeah it looks nice " Her: " thanks "

I left the store and drove away blasting music on my radio feeling fucking great. Its pretty stupid how much better i feel than i did earlier but i really do feel great as im writing this. Sticking to small goals at first is a big thing for me. I used to watch Chris's videos and get super jacked up to go out and talk to hot girls but then realize im scared shitless when i actually see the hot girls. Its much better to just start off with smaller goals. This is going to be good for me.

Toastmasters is good