TOPIC: Training log, time to stop being fat

I'm fat right now. At 5'9", about a month ago I was pushing 200lbs (AKA obese). Right now I'm about 190lbs.

Why am I in such bad shape? When I was at my lightest,I started binge eating. Like I literally could not control myself, I would eat 4000-6000 calories of junk food, entire jars of peanut butter, loaves of bread, dessert all at once and feel like complete shit afterward. This went on for months and months. I tried to hide it from family and coworkers because I felt ashamed. Even nowadays at my hefty weight I'm honestly still tempted, but I fight it by keeping food out of the house. Also, I stopped going to the gym. Finally, I was under immense stress due to my past relationships (false rape accusations and more), which led to shittons of dessert and stress eating.

I've been doing intermittent fasting (AKA eating lunch and dinner only, no snacks). Also going to the gym at least weekly (I want to go more, have to fit it in with my work schedule).

Me now (really hesitant to put my pics up here on this part of the internet but fuck it...):
[photos edited out]

I used be super lean, as of a few years ago (~2016) (5'9", ~140lbs). Visible abs. I trained tons but still gained little muscle, so I was kind of a twig. At one point I tested my testosterone. It very far below average. I wonder if that has anything to do with it.

[photos edited out]

I have an awkward big face even when lean. I wish I could change it. Oh well.

Anyway, it's time to get back in shape. This will be a log of my progress. Weight loss at first, probably, then hopefully gaining some muscle back.

(If I start binge eating again I will probably have to seek professional help)

Wow, you were really, really lean! Both positively (super low bodyfat) and negatively (not enough muscle).

On the plus side, you're not a twig any more! But yeah, definitely need to get the bodyfat down.

By the way, I don't see anything wrong with your face. But we are our own worst enemies in that regards: my complexion is all over the place + acne scars so I used to hate my face. Now, I dunno if that's big a deal. The skin care routine I'm doing is likely helping and I'm working on acne scar removal.

For you, besides bodyfat, people might say tan and beard. But structurally, your face was hawwwwt when you were lean (no homo).

And nothing wrong with getting professional help, even proactively!

Yeah, your lean face is fine. But if you do not like it.. get more muscle mass. Your head will look smaller when the rest of your body gets bigger. You've got a mass to work with now, use it and when you are done reducing you will look really good!