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It's weird how for a couple of years I went out alone (my friends always wanted to Stay home). And I don't have a problem hitting on girls at night but I can't cold approach during the day for shit.
Don't pm me asking questions if you are not going to message me back with a thank you after a lengthy answer or if you are going to debate with my experiences. If you can't say please and thank you, ask your mother to teach you some manners.
Chris, thank you so much or putting out this series. I've wanted to try going out alone for awhile but I'll always been too afraid.
When you wrote this, it is probably the most relatable thing I've ever read on here..I thought I had written it myself. I'm now just realizing how similar your anxiety back in 2005 was to mine today.
"For as long as I can remember -
I ALWAYS HATED BARS AND CLUBS.
I would get anxiety 5+ hours in advance if I knew I was going out that night. Even if it was just with friends.
(looking back on my teenage and college years - I probably had a moderate undiagnosed anxiety disorder)
I don't even know why.
I just took going out really seriously (you tend to do that when you don't Get Laid or go out very much). I felt that I needed to meet at least one girl or the entire night was a complete failure.
Like a lot of people, I would self-medicate with alcohol and I would make certain I was fully intoxicated before I set foot in any bar or club.
But even under the influence, I remember the awful feeling of standing there powerless and staring a hot girls (or just people in general) that I so desperately wanted to talk to.
I just didn't know what to say.
My mind would go blank and I'd immediately turn to one of my friends to talk about sports.
I hated scanning the room and making circles around the bar like a creep.
I hated 'lurking' in high-traffic areas.
I swore everyone was looking at me (or not looking at me - was I attractive enough?).
I hated feeling sweaty.
I hated pushing through crowds to order a drink.
I hated paying $7 to some ungrateful bartender who poured me a weak 5 cent drink.
I hated the loud music and the drunk idiots.
I hated watching other people talk to each other with such ease.
(in hindsight, most people were just talking to their friends)
I hated the ride home when I would be half drunk and have no new prospects to hook up with.
I most hated the 'afterparty' which would be the same 10 guys and no new chicks.
I always remembered thinking -
I wish I had stayed home, not drank these empty calories and lifted weights instead.
I hated it.
But that's not to say that I never got any pussy from the night scene.
I did, but it was very, very random and nothing that I EVER initiated.
Although I had successfully taken girls home in past or got them into a room at an afterparty, it was almost always because my friends met a group of girls and one of them picked me to hook up with.
Mooching girls off my friends wasn't a bad gig, but it was complete luck.
With a few exceptions, these girls were generally "cute" or slightly above-average - not the totally sexy hot girls that I spent thousands of hours in the gym for.
I wanted to hook up with girls I masturbated to.
But my ego was way too fragile and the bar scene was a scary place to risk it."
Word for word, this is exactly how I would explain my experiences with bars..I'm very intrigued with the concept of going out alone now. I'm going to finish reading the series and see how it goes, I have a huge city of opportunity in front of me..
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.