TOPIC: Advice for retention. I suck at it

Hey Guys,

I am having some issues with retention. I have not been able to “retain” any of the girls I’ve wanted to retain. I’m either doing something wrong or this is pretty notmal. I’ll provide some background.

About me:
In pretty good/really good shape (better than 99% of guys in my area), slightly edgy style, have a decent amount of “boyfriend potential.” I like to think of myself as a pretty “decent guy” that just moves a bit (a lot) faster than your average guy.



The girls I’m sleeping with:
Average to above average “cute” girls. Meet them from online or from bars. Most are actually pretty cool too. I have a tendency to attract some pretty reasonable girls. It could also just be where I live (San Francisco). It’s tough to make it out here without a good head on your shoulders.


Experiences:

1. Girl A. Meet from online dating. Sleep with her for 2 nights. I think she’s cool. She said she no longer wants to see me because she was looking for a boyfriend who spoke mandarin (she was Chinese I was not).

2. Girl B: Girl I meet from bumble. Take her home that night. Don’t sleep with her (she didn’t let me but we just made out). but ended up sleeping with her a few days later after taking her out to dinner. (I wanted to). The next day she told me she no longer wanted to sleep with me because it seemed like I was selfish in bed. I didn’t think I was but maybe. I definitely stepped it up in this regard after this experience.

3. Girl C) Meet a girl from bar. Take her right out of there and sleep with her that night. We hung out for a bit but then disappears.

4. Girl D) Meet girl from night club actually. She’s a med student from out of town. We dance that night but we had sex the following day. She seems like she enjoyed it. Says a few words and then leaves. Never hear from her again. This was reasonable as she was not in town for long (only the holidays). Still makes me sad though


5. Girl E) Meet girl from online. She seems very into me. Sleep with her first night and have a great convo. She texted me that she is still hung up on her ex . I liked her 2.



These stories may or may not be helpful but I figured somebody would ask for more detail. There are others though but they aren’t that much different than ^^^.


However. any feedback would be great. Not being able to retain is by far the most frustrating/annoying part of this whole deal and it’s making it difficult to not become really cynical and jaded.

Let me know what information i am leaving out. Your help would be greatly appreciated.

Peace

How good are you at sex, honestly? How long do you last? How big is your dick? Do you make girls cum? Do girls tell you (often) how good you are at fucking?

Obviously there's a couple girls I have a genuine connection with, but I don't have any issues with retention these days and most of the time it's for the simple reason that I lay some good pipe. They want to see me again. Every now and again you'll get a girl who was only down for a one time thing, but the large majority are down to see me again.

If your sex game is lacking, that could be one explanation.

That was my initial thought of course. My dick is average size I guess. I try to give them the best experience possible. Finger, eat out, plenty of foreplay.... I also use cialis to be at my my “full potential.” It also allows me to last forever...

The last girl I was with even claimed to orgasm as I ate her out.

I’m not saying my “sex game” is really good but I do try my hardest (lol). I hope it’s not my dick size... although I honestly doubt it.

Expect every single girl you bring home from a bar/club to be a one-night stand.

I know NSA only met girls from bars for a while, and certainly retained some of them, but most of the time you get IMMEDIATELY slotted into "one night stand/bar guy" category.

This is why I don't ever go out at night anymore. It's a total waste of time if you're looking for fuckbuddies and not just trying to rack up numbers or enjoy the hunt.

The rest of them are all pretty reasonable explanations, and it seems normal to me. I'd say a slight majority of girls you sleep with will ghost or say they're not interested after the first time. But, that's assuming you're meeting them online or during the day.

You probably won't ever get much higher than 50%, that's about as good as it gets. I'm talking about if you average it over many years. Don't care about guys that use small sample sizes like "I fucked 3 girls and they all stayed with me". Those numbers aren't helpful, only LONG-TERM high sample-size numbers are actually useful for observing trends.

Retention is a combination of EVERYTHING. Not just looks, EVERYTHING matters. Your personality, your money, your generosity in bed, what your home looks like, what your career looks like. It's much more about WHO YOU ARE than what you look like. However, the better looking you are relative to the girl, the more likely she'll stick around.

This is where I suspect money really, really comes into play. I can't verify because I'm not rich yet, but I have a strong feeling it helps.

So that's a long-winded way of saying I think you're on a bad streak, but nothing out of the ordinary for where you're at.

Keep improving yourself, your life, your apartment/house, and your social skills.

That’s what I figured. 50% seems about right.

Thanks BIB

Are you suggesting your more likely to find fuck buddies from hitting on them during the day?

senorpeppers wrote: Are you suggesting your more likely to find fuck buddies from hitting on them during the day?

Versus at bars and clubs? Yes, absolutely, 100%.

To clarify: if you're taking numbers from girls at night and then going on dates, your retention will be higher per girl you sleep with (although you'll sleep with far fewer of them since taking numbers isn't very efficient in that sense).

It's really the difference between girls you brought home and fucked right after meeting them, versus girls you went on dates with. Going on dates seems to give you more boyfriend potential, but bringing them straight home from a bar slots you as a "scumbag" type.

Agreed. Every time I’ve done it that way I’ve retained. Especially if I had to try really hard to get them on the first date.

It's funny one of the few girls i got from night time i retained for a month and a half. It was a same night lay thing that turned into fbs.

But the entire time never asked to date so i have a feeling she was just fine having me as a fb. She's like i don't believe in monogamous relationships so you can talk to other girls.

But she is as they say an anomaly not the norm. I think your right bib i should focus on daytime and nighttime should be secondary. Daytime has higher quality as well.

The last girl i pulled in June took her home and that was it. Kinda a bummer. Fbs are nice one night stands can be lonely.

Yeah man one night stands are lonely af. They are good for validation and experience but totally suck from a “happiness” stand point.

why do you need a girl to bring you "happiness?"

Also its just life. People/chicks are going to come and go in your life. I just focus on being the best person I can be and go from there.