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[the intro doesn't rhyme because i'm cool as fuck and don't even bother with that rhyming shit until later on, son]
check it, check it, it's ya boy Andy coming at ya from the land down under
nuts are healing nicely, little tender but s'all good
lemme throw a little something at ya that I just whipped up
better lock away yo momma cause this beat will make her panties DROP, SON
alright now here we go
*music steps up*
[ALRIGHT NOW WE GONNA RHYME, S'GONNA BE TIGHTER THAN YO MOMMA'S BLOWJOB SKILLZ]
kids are gross and I never wanna have 'em
a doc laid me down, grabbed my nuts and then he stab 'em
cut open my tubes so no sperm can cum out
so now i don't have to have a condom when I spout
yeah, yeah, alright
my life would be over if I ever had a child
i'd much sooner die 'cause that'd be much more mild
all i wanna do is fuck bitches and make cash
so that's why the doc went cut, hack and slash
my boys are still tender but they healing up nicely
can't wait to bend yo momma over & cum in her thricely
she'll be like "damn boy what if you get me preggers?"
I'll tell her something wise about the choosers and the beggers.
Seriously though you guys better hide your mothers, once i'm healed up it's time to wreck some snatch.
Been stuck at home the last week since the big V. Haven't really been in pain, more like my nuts are "tender". Figured I'd err on the side of caution and rest up, so I've barely left the house other than to go to the grocery store.
Healing up pretty well, today I feel pretty much normal. Nuts look normal, no scar (tiny slight scab but it's healing). Tested out the plumbing today by jerking off. Was fucking terrified, to be honest - hardest orgasm I've ever had to have, lol. I kept backing off at the last second, scared my nuts would explode or I'd die or something haha. I had approach anxiety toward my orgasm lollll.
But nothing to worry about. Everything looked normal when I came. Same amount (slightly more than usual since I haven't jerked off in 9 days). Same colour, same consistency, same smell, same taste (just kidding). Gonna rest up a few more days, jerk off a couple more times to make sure it's definitely all good, then get back into cold approaching and banging my fuckbuddies.
It's funny, girls have the worst timing. Since I've been out of action and haven't seen any girls the last 2 weeks... The girl I've been banging for 5 months, Joanne, has texted me a few times over the last 2 weeks - so has the more recent girl I banged. When girls miss you/want your attention, they use ANY random excuse to text you. They write the most irrelevant, retarded shit lol. Joanne told me about some tv show she watched, texted to tell me her sister is having a baby, and other shit. The new girl Jasmine texted to tell me about some building they're putting up across from her apartment, and some video game she saw someone playing. Totally inane stuff. Girls are fucking adorable as shit when they like you. They turn into little kids.
Not from most girls, no. Joanne is about the only exception (she even texts me to say "I miss you"), but that's because she's from Malaysia and VERY conservative, feminine and affectionate.
I'm pretty unavailable with girls - I only see them once a week at absolute most (usually every 10-15 days). I never ever text them first (unless setting up a hangout). I never "chat" to them via text/email (I'd rather chat in person, easier). I always take a few hours to reply to anything they text me, sometimes a day, sometimes I just don't reply at all. Girls aren't dumb, they're pretty good at picking up hints and they pick up pretty quickly that my time and attention isn't something I give out very easily, if at all.
So short answer is I get very few "good morning" texts because I simply ignore them (I only answer her if she asks to hang out, or if she texts me something genuinely interesting or funny - otherwise I ignore completely). If you're getting too many "good morning" and dumb texts, just ignore them and they'll pick up the hint. The texts I referred to above (where the girls told me about TV shows, sister having a baby, etc) I literally just ignored and didn't write anything back. I have a feeling the reason they both tried to get my attention is because I told them both I'd be away for a few weeks - girls can get clingy when you say "You can't see me for a few weeks".
Any time you feel yourself thinking "I'll text you when I feel like it, don't rush me" is a good time to just not reply at all (or reply to set up a hangout in person).
Hi Andy, I enjoyed reading through your AA log and look forward to your future progress. The way you speak + your facial expressions have changed rapidly (for the better) across your VLOG. I think if you can bring that fun you had when doing the AA program (at first) into your cold approaches you will be set for the future.
"F'ing ducks" words to live by.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.