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@ Eric, good advice. I haven't been free nighttimes (working) but April onwards I'll switch to finishing at 9pm. Will spam the "Let's grab a drink tonight" line.
I'm starting back up with the 1 approach a day thing.
I did it a year ago and it was a fucking lifesaver. When I was having a shit day, I still did 1 approach. Rain, hail or shine, I'd do at least 1 approach every single god damn day. I got laid without even really trying, just by being consistent.
A lot of us on here have massive issues with consistency. We go balls-to-the-wall for a few months, then we drop off for months at a time.
My best results came when I was consistently hitting on at least 1 girl a day no matter what.
Good to see you focusing on physique. I had a date on wensday and she couldnt help feel up my muscles, touch my chest etc. Once you see the benefit youll never stop. You will see more dates convert to lays.
killtheinnerloser wrote: A lot of us on here have massive issues with consistency. We go balls-to-the-wall for a few months, then we drop off for months at a time.
Which is probably the reason why most people fail at most of their goals. "New Years Resolution, I'm gonna hit the gym!", then they quit a month later. Someone wants to start a business, then gives up a few months (or a year) in.
I've been really paying attention to this pattern. It's basically ADD. I like starting a bunch of new stuff because the first phase of anything is exciting and easy. It's phase II when it starts to get tough (phase III is when the hard work pays off). I went through this with dieting and gym a couple years ago. Couldn't stick with it, kept going back and forth being really motivated then quitting because I didn't "feel like it". Eventually I got directly present to the fact the guys who reach their fitness goals are the ones who keep going to the gym during those periods when they "don't feel like it". This is literally the moment that separates the successful for from failures.
I think it's important to know and expect this is going to happen. When that period starts where you get obsessed and can't stop, yeah ride that to the end. But when it's over, DON'T QUIT. When you start getting that feeling, remind yourself, "I knew this was coming". In all likelihood, you want to quit because you got past phase I, you're not a total beginner anymore, and you're at the intermediate stage that's where real progress gets made. All the usual tactics for staying focused (i.e. Arnold's suggestion of vividly picturing your goal; he was talking about physique, so he vividly pictured himself with an elite body, and that got him present to how much he wanted that, more than he wanted that bowl of ice cream right now; for us, vividly picturing all the nights bedding a different girl and making her cum), whatever's worked for you before, that's when to to start using it. Be ready for this slump. It's going to happen. There's no way to avoid it. But you can beat it. Remember you're not putting in all this work because you just love hard work. You have a goal. You have a vision.
@playtime: REALLY appreciate you kicking my fucking ass dude, you were more brutal than anyone else. wouldn't have dropped the weight if you hadn't been that honest. Thanks. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to have chicks touch your muscles. I've only ever had like 2 girls do it - and they were fuckbuddies, so doesn't count for as much (fuckbuddies are obviously already into you)
@thechangeup: I almost never drink alcohol. I'll have a drink once every 3 months or so but I never feel good when I drink so I generally avoid it. It's given me health problems in the past (google "candida overgrowth" - I got jock itch, oral thrush, rashes on my face, fatigue, anal itching, bloating, etc... just from moderate drinking.)
I've had a lot of practice losing weight (used to be obese) and I lose it by:
- IIFYM, 2300cals/day, I eat a minimum of 200g protein, and the rest whatever the fuck I want (usually junk food like pizza, donuts, etc)
- walk 4hrs+ per day
- use a standing desk at work
- gym 2hrs day, 6 days a week
Weight comes off without much effort, and the added bonus of getting to eat whatever I want (as long as I stick within 2300 cals).
Yeah dude, I've heard you use the term "goal ADD" before. I have the same thing. Funnily enough, I've succeeded at a lot of goals in the past which required long-term consistency and dedication (did a 365 photography project without missing a day (take a photo every day), lost 35kg of weight, did the AA program, I've had a cold shower every day for the last 7 months even during winter, etc).
Have you read The Slight Edge? Great book about what you said - success is making the right choice when you don't feel like it.
What works for me is building HABITS, and turning this shit into easily-doable simple daily habits. Hence, "1 approach a day", "go to the gym 6 days a week", "stick to 2300 cals/day", etc. As long as you're consistent and just do the habit, then success eventually comes. Success is basically a by-product of keeping up your healthy habits.
Another thing I've noticed with myself is the desire to "make up" for a lack of daily action by "sarging" on goals occasionally, like once per week or month. It never works, I usually psyche myself out before the "marathon" is supposed to start and either do a single day's worth of work, or just none.
There's no substitute for daily action. This is why it's so important to have ONE goal (if you're also working full time or a student). Back in 2015 before I joined GLL, I made an effort to be more productive by using a calendar, so I would schedule hour blocks of all these different activities, all related to different goals. I never came close to succeeding in following that schedule. There's only so much time in a day, chores come up, it takes time to drive places, I have to eat, and I need moments to rest (never gotten anywhere with trying to "drill sergeant" those rest periods throughout the day away). Inevitably one, maybe two, but usually one, planned activity makes it in. That's fine, but that didn't work because it was a different activity each day, so I got nowhere on all of them.
EVERYTHING I've really succeed in, including getting my career going, making the side project app, learning to cook really well, I did by obsessing over it for a few months. With cooking, I remember the three months where I read about cooking all day including at work, I watched the Food Network, I got started on dinner the moment I got home, went grocery shopping first thing in the morning on weekends, etc. It was literally all I was up to at the time.
Ok, shit's slowly getting better. Losing weight, strength in gym still slightly going up.
Got a number off this hot finnish chick, hopefully will have a date with her this week.
Also had a date today with this HOT AS FUCK gym bunny I met outside my gym. When I hit on her, I was thinking "Jesus this bitch is too hot for me" but she seemed really into me, she kept giggling and smiling at me.
We went on a date today, just a quick coffee date in a park. Ended up kissing her twice but she was mad shy. And really nervous to be around me - it was weird. She was trying to impress me, which makes no fucking sense - she is hot as FUCK. She's also pretty damn strong, she's a powerlifter. I got her to give me a piggyback and it was no effort for her.
Here's a couple pics she sent me:
See what I mean about too hot for me???? I have no business being on a date with a girl like this, let alone kissing her, but fucking hell it happened anyway. I don't even care if she sees me for a second date; just being on one date with her was a massive fucking ego boost.
I assumed girls like this wouldn't even look at me, but I guess I was fucking wrong? Time to hit on more girls like this (will still keep hitting on average chicks too).
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.