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Met a girl at the bar. Said I liked her jacket, pulled her in, peck on the lips, talked for 5 min, got the number, got out.
First date we met for coffee, talked for around an hour, but couldn't bring her home because she was adamant on finishing HW with her friend. On the second date, I met her close to her place since I was around the area, and due to bad logistics (away from my house), I couldn't bring her home. On THIRD date, we had drinks/movie at my place. We started making out/feeling around, and when I went to finger her, her hand came down and said "she wants to take things slow". Fine. Kept messing around, and trying to finger until it was late and she went home.
On the FOURTH date, I suggested movie at my place again. Thought this would be a shoe in. Once again, when I went down to finger her, I got the "I think we should wait. I've made this mistake before with going to fast with guys, etc..."
1) What do you guys do/say when you get resistance? I always feel awkward because I don't have anything to say after a girl says this. I just kind of keep cuddling/making out, etc.
2) Would you leave this girl and move on? I'm on the verge of saying screw it, and just ignoring texts/moving on. But am I walking away too soon? Is there something I can say to let her know if we don't do anything beyond kissing, I'm gone? I told her half-jokingly, in a sarcastic voice and a smile, that maybe we'd be better off as friends. Don't know if this was the right thing to say, as I don't want to sound bitter after getting resistance to sex.
1. When a girl gives me resistance, I just agree with her and continue what I was doing a few minutes later. Not making it awkward. Have you gone the "massage" route? Offer her a massage, touch her body everywhere, get her wet, you should have an easier "opening" to get your fingers (and eventually, hopefully) dick wet.
2. I mean it's going to be 5 dates so far. It's really up to you. If you really want to bang this chick, then no, obviously don't move on. However, are you seeing other chicks? You should be if you're not. Do not half-jokingly, sarcastically, shut this girl down. I doubt she's a virgin and I'm sure she likes the D. You've just got to figure out what makes her wet and want dick. But if you feel like it's a dead-end, then just stop talking to her as much, keep her on the back burner.
"What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others remains and is immortal."
Took me 1.5 months to hop in the sack with my current bed buddy. If u like being around the girl then why not keep trying? In Chris s virginity guide he said that most girls (even slow moving ones) should give it up by 7 dates
There's a lot of play in when she says "I've made a mistake."
Have to think from her perspective what the mistake might be.
My guess is some guy fucked her then dumped her. But that's not you right? You want to fuck her AND keep fucking her. And hanging out too.
I think it's a chick's worst nightmare to be fucked and dumped like a piece of trash. Because most guys can't handle seeing multiple chicks, because they too are pre-programmed to be monogamous. That's good for us.
Here's where being honest is a super-key. It's not that you're going to say "hey, I want to fuck you and keep fucking you" because she's just a piece of meat. That's part of it, but there are enough chicks out there that we should be banging hotties that are cool one in the same. To me, it just ain't worth it to bang a hot chick if she's a pain in the ass.
Think about it from an ease and efficiency perspective, too. Managing some crazy hottie is going to expend a lot more time and energy, that could be focused on developing a cool FB, or potential GF. There's a lot of flexibility on this one I'm learning, depending on how we word things with them in terms of relationship.
Since women are so much more emotional, there's so much flexibility in what they will accept if we as men don't bail on them. We give them the dick, and enough emotional attention, but never agree to a monogamous relationship and let them know that we won't be ending it, but these are the terms. It doesn't fit the usual archetype of total badboy or doormat nice guy. It's loving, strong, honest but you are stating it your way.
Take my advice with a grain of salt. I hate disconnected sex, I like feeling the emotions of it all. But it has zero to do with being monogamous, and it's possible to like several women emotionally (I mean even liking is a form of emotion).
But I digress...
I'm starting to see two chicks right now. One is a polyamorous chick so no needed to do relationship management (though I think she wants me to be her "primary" because all the other guys want to lock her down as a GF (dummies!), the other is not. For the other, I like her a lot and we've only been on one date. I want to bang her brains out, and have a nice conversation after indeed.
If she gives me resistance (which I don't think I'll get too much, she's a bit older) I'll tell her I'm not going anywhere, because I'm not. That's the truth. That I like her and when I sleep with someone once, I want to sleep with them again and enjoy their company. I fucking hate one night stands. I choose to sleep with people I'm both attracted to and are really cool/awesome. So why wait for the inevitable and begin enjoying now? It's going to happen anyway.
Of course that doesn't mean I'm going to be her boyfriend, I can handle liking (even loving I'm starting to see) multiple chicks, but that's my journey. Maybe I'm becoming a fucking poly.
So much love to give, so little time.
The main point here being, I'm following what's true for me.
So what's true for you?
We live in the matrix. A thought-generated one. See it, be free of it.
I agree with what was said before. I think it took almost two months before my ex finally gave her pussy to me. She obviously liked me, and I liked her, so I was patient. I tried to escalate every single time we met, and eventually each time she let me go a little bit further. Once I got my fingers inside her it didn't take more than a couple of dates after that to go all the way.
25 y/o virgin before GLL
Yes. I like the rule, we never lose points for escalating. If we escalate and she isn't leaving, she likes it, even if she isn't ready yet. It she leaves it screens her out, but that's really only at the very beginning of meeting a girl anyways. Women only respect men that advance. It's the pussy boys who wait to long or never make moves that really piss them off. Ask me how I know.
We live in the matrix. A thought-generated one. See it, be free of it.
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