TOPIC: Online Dating: Sureal's Journal

I had an interesting last few days. I ended up going out with the Asian chick to a few bars on Sunday ( the persian girl flaked) Glad I kept my options open. It was fun she ended up paying for most the drinks and even food. She was really into me. She said she was trying to get me drunk. And she did a pretty good job. Theres was a point where I thought it was going down but should of know it wasnt since she deflected everytime I asked or tried to get her back to the pad. We made out so much and so hard outside. To the point i took her to a little cubby hole outside and tried to bang her outside. Had her on the ground be she stopped me. She may have been playin' but when I tried to reassure her that nothing would happen. she said it was herself she didnt trust. So she ended up going home.

... But I was still horny she just left me all hot and bothered. So I just started texting random girls I had in my phone. And this one white girl I tried to have come over (and never did) responded. We didnt link up that night but we did last night. She was alright maybe a 6.5 but like a 6.5 that really turned me on because of her really big boobs. So we had a few drinks, played some pool. smoke some weed. a listened to some Marvin Gaye... It was really needed. She needed soooo much foreplay. But I did this move where I was making out with her and and rubbng her clit on the outside of her jeans with my knee. Then it was good to go.

Gonna try to see if I can get the asian girl next... or whoever.

Just need to vent... The Chinese girl flaked (admittedly the date wasnt set in stone...) But man I really wanted to see her... and that scares me. When ever I get emotionally attached things start to really suck. Usually I take a break but only after something really gets fucked up (talking about me emotionally) So i have been able to see the recurring signs and am gonna take a break after this week. Trying to make this break a recurring mandatory thing... It feels like theres a build up of emotional tension with the successes and failures and I got to decompress... Take time for only me go play ball all week, finish some homework thats piled up, eat a fucking ice cream cone.

Another thing that I noticed is friends and family look at me so different... I definitely feel a hater vibe especially from women (I dont really mess with girls in my social group) In fact my life really consist of school, work and girls (online dating). Like thats it for the most part. Most of the people I know are from pre GLL (i.e. the time in which no pussy was getting tagged) so its getting harder and harder to relate to them. My guy friends are either married, have committed girlfriends, moved or just flat out have no interest in getting girls (even though I've offered to help with online). Heck even my own brother with whom I live with is sick of hearing me talk about women. This is literally the only place I can talk to fellow like-minded people on this topic (which I am grateful for). I've even been becoming more of an atheist than an agnostic. Religion is bullshit a construct a fallacy ... but I digress..

I guess I'm just having a bad day and tomorrow will be a new one. Just had to get this stuff off my chest