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True, I wanted to feel like I could control/influence something. But this unfortunately means that getting lucky really is just getting lucky. I hate feeling lucky.
Overthinking helps me squeeze more experience out of a single encounter so I can improve faster. There is a balance to it though... Today a Tinder match from long ago who had kept flaking at the last minute surprisingly didn't flake today (I had planned it exactly so I wouldn't be disappointed either way). I wasn't looking forward to it, but she turned out to be way better than her pics. I offered to take better pics for her but it seems she's satisfied with her results so far, lol And we got along quite well. I like to think that it's not just because she wanted to get with me, but also because I spent years getting better at conversation and making chemistry more likely to happen. Making advances was enjoyable this time - always tinged with excitement. She was on her period though so we just made out, but my fingers still smell of her... and I think it's going to be a done deal this week ![]() I should change the way I think then. Instead of "creating chemistry", it is "making chemistry more likely to happen". Instead of "I got lucky" or trying to discount luck altogether (unrealistic), it is "making luck more likely to happen". |
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Last edit: by ritchan.
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First thing is keep hitting on lots of girls, which you are doing, and as you can see, already making progress. You'd be amazed how many problems start to fix themselves as long as you stick to that, along with escalating and actually trying to fuck them consistently (including if you're nervous, it's ok, just try anyways).
So definitely keep doing that, don't stop. As far as luck, hate to tell you this, but it is getting lucky really. Yes you can control it some and improve your odds and success, but that is inherent to the game. It never goes away. So get used to it. Getting attached to girls - I am not sure that ever goes away either. I mean always be strong and discipline yourself, but I'm not sure you ever reach a point where you aren't susceptible to that. I've banged alot of girls and I will still feel that way if I meet a rare one I particularly like. I just ignore it cause I don't want a relationship for now. Banging girls doesn't fix all your problems like some guys seem to think. You're just a regular dude, you are just having sex now. But you still are human. That doesn't change just cause you have alot of sex. You also won't meet many girls you have extreme chemistry with, wheter you bang alot of girls or not. That is just rare in general. If you want extreme chemistry then just hit on lots of girls til you find it and maybe try to hang onto that girl. That's just normal. As far as escalating when you don't feel it, I actually did that for awhile and it did help me in the beginning, but ultimately I don't think that is the place you want to be in. I don't do it at this point. I only escalate when I feel it and I know the difference at this point when I'm just being a pussy vs I actually don't want it. And Ive done it so many times that even though I still have insecurity and nerves, I don't need to prove it to myself or learn it like I did in the past. I know I can do it so I can afford to sit back and chill more sometimes now. I agree with other posters that you are overthinking, you also strike me as a guy who's not as big into just fuck a bunch of girls, you seem to more enjoy emotions and a connection as well, and nothing wrong with that. Taking advice is always a balance of listening to others but also your own individual experience and goals. You are also still holding yourself back with these girls, I don't want to say you can't succeed doing that, but the less you do it the better. Just be vulnerable and try to fuck them. It actually is being vulnerable to try and fuck girls believe it or not. The more of this "playing hard to get" / butthurt bullshit you cut out the better. Doesn't mean don't have boundaries or be weak, but you are a man and you've got to lead the girl by putting yourself out there. You've got give her the chance to reject you basically. You've got to put yourself forward and be the man and take the responsibility for that and not put it on her. She doesn't want you, fine, but you have to put yourself on the line and you'll never regret doing that. You'll only regret it when you don't. Don't try to show girls "I don't need you or I don't need this". That's the wrong mindset. Don't be a pushover or desperate but go for what you want, if you do in fact want it. And let the cards fall where they may. Open yourself up and take some hits if necessary. And I'm sure you will get laid in the process. |
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Last edit: by Taylor1345.
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The vulnerability aspect is fundamental i think. Eventually that's all it really comes down to, can you be vulnerable and make a move, or not. period. lol GOAL: Financial Freedom
13 online lays 3 social circle type lays |
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Check out abbafishead on reddit (
www.reddit.com/user/abbafishhead/
), especially his tinder post on the redpill.
The following user(s) said Thank You: ritchan
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That was useful, thanks. I'm gonna copypaste it here:
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I am happy to say that I got a fuckbuddy from Tinder!
She was one of my first matches but flaked twice/thrice because of lockdown, she got sick, always something or the other. After the first time I simply stopped replying whenever she canceled at the last minute, because seriously, wtf. Her photos weren't anything to drool over anyway. But the funny thing is, after some time, she would always ask if we could try meeting up again. I wonder why - most of the time, women just forget about you. On the third time she actually showed up. She was actually attractive in person, a killer body, she just had shitty pics, but she's a girl so she can get away with it. It turns out that she is in a LTR but recently she wanted to open it up. I asked her why and she says she doesn't really know herself, she just wants to try it out. I think there's something there because she's really hungry in bed... and being tied up to a powermac g5 really turns her on. I sent her some spirituality books. Hopefully she'll figure out what she really wants, and tell me. It's interesting to figure out women... |
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Last edit: by ritchan.
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The aforementioned FB lent me a book, David Hawkins' Letting Go. This is the best self help book I have ever read, here's an excerpt. Dating is sales after all.
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Last edit: by ritchan.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
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Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.
Thanks again Chris, life would suck without you.
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comment 26220 - "How to Pickup Girls if You Are Nervous... (Nervous Guy Game)"