TOPIC: Should I be on instagram?

So lately I've been thinking on being on instagram more and more. I've noticed that the amount of girls using instagram to communicate is crazy, but that's the thing IDK if these girls actually use instagram to actually communicate (as in setting up dates and whatnot) or to simply "slink off to the sidelines" so to speak and never actually respond your messages, like a soft rejection to put it somehow.

BTW, I'm not talking about getting messages from random girls who want to meet me, I'm merely talking about girls who give you their instagram either in rl or on dating apps.

Has anyone experienced what I'm saying? I know that the best advice in this case is "try and see" but the thing is I stay away from social media because it's too time consuming so I'd rather have some advice before doing anything.

not worth it. get their number or tell them to gtfo

pimpinhos wrote: not worth it. get their number or tell them to gtfo

LOL

"Can I give you my ig instead of my number? This way you can be one of my 2000 followers I do not care about. Bonus points if you like my posts hoping I notice you some day loser"

S3nga wrote: "Can I give you my ig instead of my number? This way you can be one of my 2000 followers I do not care about. Bonus points if you like my posts hoping I notice you some day loser"

I'm afraid this might happen.

Now the reason why I'm asking this is because, like I said, more and more girls are offering their insta instead of their number which might be a soft rejection but some girls will also soft reject you by giving your their number and then not reply, so not much to go by there.

Another thing is that NSA once commented on how girls are now using instagram like an actual means of communication so I wanted to get more input on it.

I might get an instagram just to find out by myself whether there's any merit to having one, but I'd also appreciate more opinions.

Jake da Dawg wrote:

S3nga wrote: "Can I give you my ig instead of my number? This way you can be one of my 2000 followers I do not care about. Bonus points if you like my posts hoping I notice you some day loser"

I'm afraid this might happen.

Now the reason why I'm asking this is because, like I said, more and more girls are offering their insta instead of their number which might be a soft rejection but some girls will also soft reject you by giving your their number and then not reply, so not much to go by there.

Another thing is that NSA once commented on how girls are now using instagram like an actual means of communication so I wanted to get more input on it.

I might get an instagram just to find out by myself whether there's any merit to having one, but I'd also appreciate more opinions.

Honest take on it? We may eventually hit the point of critical mass where its actually more weird to not exchange social media.

However, now? Not at all. We're not even close. My first assumption is always that it's just one of the millions of girls using online dating to build an instagram following. It's in the girl instagram 101 guide. I think you'd be hard pressed to find an aspiring social media influencer who DOESN'T use Tinder as a source of followers.

One day? Maybe. Today? Nah.

Appreciate all the replies guys.

I will make an instagram and will put a lot of effort into it but for a short period of time, that way I will know whether it works or not. I will update it often for a month or so.

I don't like instagram / social media to begin with: I feel like it's a time sink and can be really mentally unhealthy obsessing about followers (unless you're actually trying to make money off it, then go for it and good luck).

I agree with being suspicious of instagram for followers. That doesn't exist on snapchat as far as I know. Another avenue is if they offer instagram, counter with snapchat, facebook, etc.

I've taken ~5 snapchats so far, 1 date.

I've also said I don't have instagram, I'm too old for that shit, let's just do this the old fashion way, and received numbers (2 I think, no dates from that).

2 years ago I would have said fuck IG. Its lame. Its a highly effective way for girls to hyperinflate their SMV with filter trickery and receive 10000% more undeserved male attention than they would otherwise get thereby desensitising themselves to normal men. Thereby being analagous to a male porn addiction.

I feel the same way now. And I believe it is only going to get worse. I believe many problems in the dating market place are due to instagram and similar social media alone.

However.

I think it has potential to work. A good buddy of mine believes it is far more effective than online dating alone as it can act as a sort of 'value amplifier' and convert girls a lot better. If you follow the rules.

First all your wall posts should be online dating grade. In other words photos that would get you matches on tinder. So unless you are super good looking and photogenic like my buddy you need to be uber-picky about your wall posts and edit them to perfection. I often archive photos I look at in retrospect and feel are not up to standard. That is the most important.

On a side note related to this, 80%+ (100% in my and my buddy's case) of your wall photos should have YOU in it. Keep the impressive view/travel photos/rad skyline panoramas to a minimum - save that for your story highlights.

Second all your followers should be real. After about 1.5 years I have 700 or so followers (my buddy more like 1500 but he puts a lot more time into it), all taken manually from girls on tinder and badoo (and even cold approach). Because they are real they are high quality (especially if they engage with you and themselves have a lot of followers). So it means when you post a photo you will get a good ratio of likes to followers (so if you have 500 followers you should get 100+ likes) and hopefully comments. If you buy useless followers many of whom are bot accounts you might get no likes. Or if you buy likes and end up with more likes than followers thats just as bad. People (women) will know in 2 seconds if you are cheating or not.

You need to engage constantly. That means posting stories often, ideally many times a day like my buddy. This will get girls you recently added noticing you and getting used to seeing you every day (passive gaming as my friend puts it) I fall short in this regard a lot as I can't be fucked doing this and in 99% of my videos I don't look good or photogenic. Girls who liked my photos may easily be put off by these. Again if you are good looking this can work very well. And of course you can see who watched your videos and use apps to see which girls engage with you the most.

Also you want a very good follower to followed by ratio. So I try to follow no-more than 30 people even if I am followed by 700. Every week I will simple unfollow everyone except the people I want to follow (male friends or cool guys I know or girls I am actively trying to fuck or fuck again).

Then there are things that usually don't work. DMing random girls is a waste of time (unless she follows you then she won't see your DM). Girls who are clearly only looking for followers are a waste of time (I unfollow them anyway after a week or so using a 3rd party app). You need to engage with girls you added from tinder or whatever quickly and regularly going for the meeting fast so she doesn't forget you.

Overall I think it has potential. I don't like it. It is indeed a time-sink. It can be demoralising seeing 20 girls unfollow you when you post a new photo or story. I think it is not for the faint hearted or for guys who aren't already getting laid through conventional means. I think it is worth a shot but you need to realise it is a marathon, not a sprint.

I would say since I started seriously using it, Instagram MAY have helped me get laid this year. Most of the 8 girls I banged this year I added to instagram instead of take the number (or in addition to) and I suspect the effort I put in to stories and photos MAY have helped. I cannot be sure. But I suspect it made a small difference. And every bit helps.

@RogerRoger unfortunately, people in my country only use whatsapp and instagram, most people don't even know what snapchat is lol

Thebastard wrote: DMing random girls is a waste of time (unless she follows you then she won't see your DM).

Thanks for the detailed advice, Bastard.

I DMd this girl whose instagram I got from cold approach yesterday but she hasn't even read it, I'm not following her and she isn't following me, what should I do so that my message is read? Should I unsend the message, then follow her and then send her the message again or something else?

Or maybe she read it and no "seen" is shown?

When you message someone who does not follow you there is a message request somewhere in your ig inbox. I do not think girls open it often.
Also it does not show whether they read it or not: unless the girl accepts the request by clicking a button. Then it works like a regular conversation.


Edit:

You need to engage constantly. That means posting stories often, ideally many times a day like my buddy. This will get girls you recently added noticing you and getting used to seeing you every day (passive gaming as my friend puts it) I fall short in this regard a lot as I can't be fucked doing this and in 99% of my videos I don't look good or photogenic. Girls who liked my photos may easily be put off by these. Again if you are good looking this can work very well. And of course you can see who watched your videos and use apps to see which girls engage with you the most.

Stories a cool because it gives a feeling of connection with a girl, even through you do not spend hours wasting time on smalltalking with her. Its also much faster because making one story takes a few minutes a day (considering you do something interesting enough be in your story). However: I am afraid most of the girls do not even watch those. I mean, they just click through them without watching to get rid of unread stories. Or even better, they follow hundreds of shit accounts (to get followers eg) and there is so much boring shit in their stories they do not even care to open it.

@S3nga what about when you follow someone? is that shown as a message in their "main" inbox or something? Her account is public btw.
I just want something that doesn't put me on the back burner so that she knows I'm trying to message her and so that I know whether she's interested or not.