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So I've been wondering lately if it's even worth the copy-paste effort hitting up girls who stopped replying previously.
I'm mainly talking about dating apps; I've hit girls up whose number I got from cold approach who stopped replying after a few text exchanges and I don't remember one time I got a date out of it so IDK if it's the same with dating apps.
And in case I do hit these girls up again, what should I message them?
I've banged 1 girl in my life who had stopped replying. And I'd already been on one date with her, and made out with her. I sent:
"Hmmm, wasn't expecting you to ghost to be honest. Any feedback so I know why? Cheers."
Turns out her phone had broken and she lost all her contacts (including me). We banged, and ended up dating for a year.
Other than that, nobody else has ever turned into a bang. I'm writing an article about this right now, I'll just copy-paste what I've written so far:
Send a "?" (just a question mark and nothing else) to all the girls who stopped replying to see what happens. 95% of the time they won't reply to you. And if they do reply, you most likely won't meet them - they stopped replying to you for a reason. Either they're too busy, or too disorganised, or not serious about meeting a guy, or just not that into you. There's a tiny chance she'll be in a better position to meet you now than she was a few weeks ago - but we're talking 1% chance.
Once a week, go through and unmatch any girls who haven't replied to your last message for over a week. Don't just leave them sitting in your list - that'll only remind you of all the girls who stopped replying to you. Cull your list, unmatch the ones who haven't replied, and move on. You need to focus your attention and time on the girls who are still "live" and might meet you, rather than all the ones who went cold; focusing on those will just depress you.
You need to be always looking forwards, not backwards.
If she hasn't replied to you in a week, you've been buried deep down in her list of messages from 100 other guys, long forgotten. Even if you send her another message, she'll just say, "Who's this guy again?"
"But Andy! Can't I win them back if I send another message?" Ahh, such innocence. You're certainly welcome to try - good luck. For a 6 month period I experimented with everything I could think of to try and get girls to start responding again, including:
"How's your day going today?"
"Didn't your mother teach you it's rude to ignore people? "
...and about 50 other cringe-worthy messages.
Sometimes girls would reply to those texts, only to go cold again - especially when I pitched the meetup. Know how many girls I got to meet me after they'd initially stopped replying? Zero. Yep, fucking ZERO. And I tried on 500+ girls who'd stopped replying. For all that effort, energy and emotional exertion, all I succeeded in doing was waste my own time. Luckily I went through that hell so you won't have to; I'm your guidepost to stop you making the same mistake.
Unmatch girls who haven't replied to you for over a week. Simple.
I've met up with 1, maybe 2 girls who at one point or another stopped replying (could've banged 1 of them, but this was before I knew what I was doing)
You can try on some, but never try too hard. For example, the one that I met up with initially replied "Hello!!!" to my first message, so she definitely gave me a sign of interest at first. She didn't respond to my message after that, but after a while I waited and then messaged her again. After that, she was very very interested and talking to me a lot.
A lot of it has to do with sexual availability. But there obviously needs to be initial attraction. That's why Chris said to message girls you haven't seen for a while, because they move in and out of sexual availability. BUT this only applies to girls who are actually attracted to you and you have preferably had sex with, not girls that have never shown interest or have never met up with you.
Pretty much everything should be done on a case by case basis. There's no perfect "rule" to follow that will get you laid with every girl who you could theoretically laid with, and waste the least amount of time on the ones who will never meet up with you. It's a trade off.
Here's what I would do:
-If the girl has not responded at all after 2 messages, 100% don't bother.
-If she has responded at least somewhat enthusiastically a message from you in the past, you can send her 1, maybe 2 more messages if she stopped responding. If she still doesn't respond after that, probably don't bother.
-If she has met up with you and the date wasn't shit, and especially if she's had sex with you, there is pretty much no limit to how many messages you can send her. There's always a chance she'll be sexually available to you at any given time. It's possible that she'll block your number eventually, but it's up to you to decide how many you send in a row before you delete the number.
-MarkVegas, bro-science extraordinaire
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Like mentioned, a girl who stops replying is lost. There is nothing you can do about it.
An incident that just recently had happened. Look at the screenshot.
Had a (btw very good) date with this girl (from cold-approach) and the next day all of a sudden she virtually stopped replying my messages. I knew something was wrong, instinctively. And I was right, a second date never materialized despite some texting effort (translation of the screenshot text from her: "Sorry I am too busy blabla. ..").
That was not not the first time that something like this happened to me. When a girl has made up her mind not to see you again, she is lost forever.
KillTheInnerLoser wrote: Send a "?" (just a question mark and nothing else) to all the girls who stopped replying to see what happens.
This is so brilliant and exactly what I needed but never thought of it, this dude is a genius.
Do you do this with the girls you've sent your bdsm lines to as well? because most of those stop replying as soon as I tell them what I'm looking for.
Thanks for all the replies guys, just to give a little context to what I'm talking about:
On friday this girl matched with me on tinder and immediately messaged me "heey". We exchanged a few messages and then I pitched a meeting for the next day and she said "I'm not free tomorrow, but I can do Sunday, I can give you my instagram if you want" then I told her Sunday (today) was alright and to give me her number, she didn't reply back.
Now I'm only using this girl as an example (bc this has happened to me like 10 times this month) for a pattern that keeps repeating itself: cute girl will match with me, will message me and then ghost me.
I get it there might be a million things that made them stop replying but since they took the iniative to start the conversation, there must have been at least some interest so I don't lose anything by texting them "?".
Probably messaged about 30 girls with "?", about 6 of them replied out of which I got 2 numbers and no dates.
While I'm obviously not satisfied with the results, I don't regret trying at all, as a matter of fact, I think that with a bigger sample number I might as well gotten a lay, so I'm going to start sending out "?" by default after some time not hearing back from girls because it's so little effort it doesn't bother me.
Bad Idea Bear's advice about hitting on girls you've slept with previously kept bugging me, so I decided to talk to this girl I fucked several months ago and told her we should hang out.
We meet today and end up fucking in the woods, she swallowed and then we hung out a little bit more.
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