TOPIC: Women infuriating me on online dating apps - tips to improve reply rates?

Hey all,

I've been on tinder for a number of years now.

I've managed to get 30 lays from it but honestly it's been a HUGE pain in the ass and self-esteem destroyer 90% of the time.

I do not struggle to get matches, but when I do, my matchlist ALWAYS looks like this:


90% of them NEVER RESPOND. No matter what opener I use, whether it's sexual or totally non-threatening, they just don't reply, ever.

I have over 200 blocked numbers in my WhatsApp from girls who ghosted me after a few messages too.

Obviously they liked my looks slightly, otherwise they wouldn't have bothered to swipe at all, but then it makes me think that maybe on first look I seem good looking but then on closer inspection they realise I'm ugly.

I'm fairly tall (6'1 listed in profile but more like 6'2 with boots and shoes on)
Have a good job
Know how to fuck a girl well (only ever received great reviews)
Yet these cunts don't give me the time of day. Yes I'm not 'good looking' I know, but surely in these pics I'm above average. So why won't they respond? I've had thousands and thousands of matches over the years, but I've probably converted less than 1% of those who are usually below average looking.

Is this normal for guys who are just in the 'dead zone' where you're not really attractive and not really unattractive?

Here's my profile for feedback:
imgur.com/a/WvJOe

I may have to start cold approaching in real life, but after such a poor success rate on Tinder it's kind of made me not want to bother, but when I see hot girls IRL I want to approach so bad.

Thanks for any responses / pointers.

I have this problem too. I think getting better pics is the only option but it's annoying af cuz you get lots of matches. Hopefully someone with more experience chimes in.

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Hey man, first off welcome to the forum!

You're definitely a good looking guy but when it comes to online dating it's always been incredibly superficial and the only way to know if you have good enough pics is if you're getting results.

And I know, unless you're super weird over text that it's your pictures that are lacking. Personally, I would use any of your pics (maybe the golf one)

1. Don't take selfies (this rarely work unless you have a very good camera and decent editing skills)

2. Take tons of pictures (tons... typically you'll find 1 that you like for every 100-200 photos you take)

3. The first photo should be a clear pic of your face. Number two should be you showing off your body in a natural way ie. at the beach, on a boat, or playing sports. Third and final pic should be you doing something cool like being in a different country, playing golf or anything that somewhat separates yourself from all the other dudes that these chicks are matching with daily.

Hope this helps.

I used to absolutely kill online, not at all now. My take on it; 1. Dating sites are fake now, very few real people and mostly employees fishing for contact info so they can spam/scam you. 2. Social media afluenza; it's a popularity game, you have to create the most incredible profile/image out all the guys on there. Not an easy task, unless you're already filthy rich, uber good looking, and very popular.

I'm leaning more towards number 1.

They're not fake... It's partly for spam but for the most part it's for getting laid still. Please refrain from trying to convince people that online dating doesn't work anymore... Especially when you haven't shown your face on here and haven't proven that you're successful with online dating. I used to absolutely kill online, not at all now.

I'm not filthy rich, I'm not uber good looking and I'm not that popular. I'm just a decently good looking fit dude that took some good pics.

Oh shit... check this out. Girl I fucked the other day (from tinder) just booty called me.. Must not work ehh. Smh



You're a new user and you're already discouraging people from using dating apps. Don't do that, cause there are several people on here slaying it with online dating who provide proof.

I feel you man.

Online gave me 75% of my 30+ lays over past 3 years. This year I didn't even get a single date from tinder. And that is after investing in professional photographs.

There is no question it is getting more difficult; a lot of friends of mine have noticed the same. Whether the bar is being raised to reach the 'desirable' category for men or the tinder algorithms have changed to make it even more woman-friendly... It could be a combination of both.

Whatever the cause of this, it goes without saying you will need to supplement (or prioritise) another method of getting girls. I assume you don't like night game or social circle for this (if you are like me). Try cold approach. Go all out. See how that works for you. Doesn't work for everyone and the ROI can be painful (for me at least). But don't whack it till you try it.

Good thing about online is if you have had some success, then depending on the calibre of the girls you banged you can expect at least the same quality from cold approach.

OP, your pics suck dick. You're handsome, but those pics look like they were taken with a potato.

Check out this guy's instagram to see what maxed out looks like:

www.instagram.com/magic_fox/?hl=en

yup, bad pics. Handsome guy, but bad pics.

There is a LOT that goes into taking good online dating photos. Tiny little differences in facial expression, posture, and lighting can make all the difference. There's a reason why being a model is an actual job: if being good looking was all it took, every good looking person could become a model (I'm exaggerating, obviously).

There's a lot of skill needed from both the photographer, and the subject to create the perfect pic. You'll need to take thousands of photos in different outfits and locations to find the ones that work. It's okay to get frustrated, it's a frustrating process.

Just like anything else on here, if you put in the work you'll get results. Although it sounds like you're already getting results.

Pics are all garbage. That is your problem.

Get better pictures, and your reply rates will go up multiple fold.

Higher quality, ones without shit boring outfits on (weak rain jacket holding your dog with a half assed smile in a potato quality camera in poor lighting will not cut it).

Never use mirror selfies, or selfies in general.

Get a cheap high quality mirrorless camera like a Sony A6000 for less than $1000. Get a prime lens that goes to f/1.4 or f/1.8 (Sony sells some good cheap prime lenses you can get for a few hundred bucks). Both should run you less than $1000 total.

Get some good lighting, better outfit, and a buddy to take some photos with the aperture set to the lowest number setting, and it'll look like you paid for a professional photo shoot.

Biggest fuck up I made when it came to accumulating good pictures, was not getting a good camera, and more importantly (what nobody really knows and took me a while to figure out), get a good prime lens.

Long-term investment that's well worth it.

This is the exact lens and camera I've been using. Very cheap set up that is formidable to full frame high quality Canons, Sonys and Nikons that you'd pay professional photographers to shoot you with:

Sony A6000: https://amzn.to/2xsdsn8
Sony SEL35F18 35mm f/1.8 Prime Fixed Lens (this one would be ideal on this camera so you don't have to stand so far away, but the 50mm is cheaper): https://amzn.to/2Nlr5z2
Sony SEL50F18 50mm f/1.8 Lens (most cost effective high quality prime lens, but 50mm on an aps-c sensors force you to stand pretty far away to get some shots as it is so zoomed in, which can be annoying, but if you don't mind standing an extra foot away, you can save a couple hundred bucks): https://amzn.to/2Ngqkrf

I think you are exaggerating here, 30 lays thanks to tinder is a great number, so far I have managed to nail 3 and I have “decent” photos. Also you said some of them make booty calls which is also great. You should follow dc7 advice and you will be set.