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I'm starting a thread to log my Tinder Adventures. I just deleted my profile and recreated it tonight. From my experience I think Big Ape is right about recreating the profiles about once a week or two. I went on a date last Wednesday with a girl who's been responding to my texts so I'm currently trying to set up a second date with her at my place (i.e. for some sexual). I wasn't too impressed with my results though so let's see if I can take it to the next level. My record from last year was 15 real matches in one day, then 10 per day for about another week. I am eager to top that!
Pictures of my current profile (in order) are uploaded
. I would share the description but... we all know that doesn't fucking matter. I'll report back tomorrow with results.
I know, right!? Thanks for the guide by the way, that's solid info. I've gotten action on second dates but never first dates yet.
Crickets so far on this round, only one bot match. I'll give it a couple more days. The motorcycle pic may come off as too try-hard and it doesn't show my face well. I'm gonna take another pic with the bike this weekend.
That profile got me absolutely nowhere. I literally got no matches except two bots and a tranny haha. I can't remember the last time I did that poorly!
Point is not to take it personally, it just means that picture didn't work. So, I deleted the profile on Friday, then recreated it on Sunday night. My
are now: 5 (main), 6, 3, 7. So far I got one real match. We'll see how well this one works over the next couple of days.
Well I got 7 matches yesterday, and one is responding to my messages (she might be fat though, her pics may be hiding it). Not terrible, but I know I can do better.
It’s time to take a step back and think about what’s going on here, because my Tinder game has gone steadily downhill since I hit my first stride almost a year ago. What’s interesting is that streak of success was utterly accidental: I was totally caught off guard, after throwing up pics that made me think, “ehh, these probably won’t work”. The ones I was sure would work never did.
At the risk of sounding like some sort of
, the problem is not that I’m not good-looking enough for Tinder. I have an above average face, a good haircut, at least decent if not above-average style, and I’m in good shape. If I wanted to be absolutely elite, I would need to finish losing this last ~2 lb of fat and put on 10-15 lb of muscle (in progress). But while I wouldn’t object, I’m not trying to bang models here (at least not yet, I couldn’t handle that anyways). I’m just trying to bang girls that are nice-looking themselves (not fat or excessively dorky). I’m already above the level I’m trying to date and sleep with. I need to internalize that.
The problem is that I’m reeking of desperation. I don’t act like I look as good as I do. I act like I have to
prove super hard
that I’m sexually attractive, like I’m a 16-year-old girl trying to win a beauty pageant. I ride my motorcycle out to Palos Verdes with a tripod and a change of clothes to take an obviously staged posed photo because I think that’s what I need to do: to first off show off with my motorcycle, and second off do so in a way that’s thoroughly preplanned. The guitar pics aren't as bad but look (and are) staged too. What kind of guy spends his Sunday morning doing something like that?
A guy with an inferiority complex, that's who. I’ve been going crazy thinking about how I know multiple overweight nerdy “nice guys” who at least got girlfriends off of Tinder (not very attractive ones but still…) while I can’t even get matches consistently. “But I know I’m hotter than him, what gives!?” I would shriek to myself, before doubting whether I was. Well, sure. I am more attractive, so that can’t be the issue. The issue is being way too “try hard”. My pictures are the opposite of nonchalant. I take them just for Tinder.
I could try “faking” nonchalant pictures, but I think it would be better to just actually have nonchalant pictures. I’ve been putting this off for too long. It’s time to build a social life. I haven’t really done so since moving to LA (software engineering pays well but programmers are mostly... weird). Meetup.com has so much cool shit out here I don’t have time for even 5% of it, so it’s time to get out there and do cool shit, and just put up the pictures that result from that. I just need to make sure to look good when I go out, and then I can show off my looks without trying to show off my looks. My main excuse has been to focus on the AA program, but doing something fun once every weekend or two won’t get in the way of that (I honestly end up wasting most Saturdays out of laziness anyways). Besides I’m almost done with the AA drills and am past “basic guy game”.
For the time being, I have some decent social pics that I’ve
. I want to try one experiment: selfie main pic, 2-3 social pics with no concern about “looking sexy” in them (too desperate), then a shirtless mirror selfie. The shirtless mirror selfie could go both ways: it may be too try-hard, or it may be the only way I have right now to show off my body without being try-hard. If I’m going to show it off, I’ll just snap a quick pic when I get back from the gym in my room, instead of setting up a fucking photo shoot. Eventually I’ll get a pic of me playing beach volleyball. I’m not trying to come off as “well-rounded” or whatever, just as a normal person who isn’t totally desperate for female attention.
I’m also gonna try text with more of an asshole “don’t give a fuck” vibe. Experiment, experiment, experiment. My general direction of “prove how hot you are” has given diminishing returns. I gotta get shit like “Tinder is harder in LA” or “the algorithm keeps discounting me” or "it's mostly luck" or whatever out of my head. Good pictures = Get Laid on Tinder, period.
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Kratom is next!
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