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Girl says no more hookups after we hooked up -- what to do?
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TOPIC: Girl says no more hookups after we hooked up -- what to do?

Girl says no more hookups after we hooked up -- what to do? 19 Feb 2020 21:38 #326689

Fucked this girl, then hit her up again after a couple weeks (that was my bad, shouldn't have waited as long). But she says some shit like "I'm not interested in hooking up". Any advice for what to do? I'm interested in retaining her for as long as possible.

To be fair, before we first banged, she said something similar and I just said some shit like "let's just get a drink, no pressure". And she was all for it when we met. But I'm not sure if I should keep saying the same thing, or be more honest.
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Girl says no more hookups after we hooked up -- what to do? 19 Feb 2020 22:24 #326691

Move on and hit on more girls.
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Girl says no more hookups after we hooked up -- what to do? 19 Feb 2020 22:32 #326692

Damn that was quick.

I'm definitely hitting on more girls. But would you say this one is done? The reason I think I can still hit it again is because she said basically the exact same shit the first time.
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Girl says no more hookups after we hooked up -- what to do? 19 Feb 2020 23:21 #326694

It's your life mate, you can message her if you want.
But she's already said she's not down, so at this point you're trying to convince someone who doesn't necessarily want to be convinced. Do you want to bang a girl you had to convince, or would you rather bang a girl who's super keen? Read this:
markmanson.net/fuck-yes

And bare in mind you did make it really clear to her you're only looking for a hookup (by not messaging her for weeks afterwards, which is never going to feel good). If a girl didn't hit you up for weeks after you hooked up, would you be interested in banging again, or would you feel like "This chick clearly isn't all that into me"?
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Last edit: by KillYourInnerLoser.

Girl says no more hookups after we hooked up -- what to do? 20 Feb 2020 02:00 #326696

I get that. I totally agree with you, I just don't think I'm necessarily "convincing" or coercing her -- her actions seemed completely opposite her words, and I also told her straight up to stop me if I'm going too far.

Edit: I guess what I'm trying to ask is how you (or anyone else with experience) would handle this situation if you were in my position. I've been in the dumps for a while (mentally and physically), so I'm demoting myself back to "newb" status, which is why I'm willing to push it -- I agree with "fuck yes or no", honesty/screening, etc. but I don't want that to become an excuse to keep rotting (which it feels like for me right now), instead of a matter of efficiency (which it should be.). I will take care to hit up other girls at the same time though.
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Last edit: by Thunderwang.

Girl says no more hookups after we hooked up -- what to do? 20 Feb 2020 05:23 #326708

How about this. When you have hit on 10 more girls, “reward” yourself by letting yourself text her again and trying to talk her into sleeping with you.
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Last edit: by Toroidal.

Girl says no more hookups after we hooked up -- what to do? 20 Feb 2020 07:36 #326721

I think the "right" as in non-selfish thing here would be to accept that she's not interested in hooking up. If you're only interested in hook-ups, then she's not the girl for you. If you'd like to pursue something else with her, that's another situation.
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Girl says no more hookups after we hooked up -- what to do? 20 Feb 2020 10:55 #326728

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'On to the next one' is the biggest mental switch you need to make.

I find it hard to maintain as well, its easier when you have options at the time.

Really like Andy alludes to you should be moving on at the first sign of resistance and if she comes back to you she comes back to you.

Also if shes just playing games then you dont need that shit in your life anyway and you can find someone that's chill and no bullshit elsewhere
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Last edit: by Radical.

Girl says no more hookups after we hooked up -- what to do? 20 Feb 2020 20:24 #326735

Thanks guys. Pretty good points. I ended up just telling her honestly what I think. Feels kinda relieving, might as well just say what I mean.

Toroidal wrote: How about this. When you have hit on 10 more girls, “reward” yourself by letting yourself text her again and trying to talk her into sleeping with you.


Not sure what you're trying to say here, so I'll assume you are well-intentioned and tried to give me a helpful answer. Thank you!
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Last edit: by Thunderwang.
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