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Hey bros, I would really appreciate the opinions of some experienced guys. I was just messaging this chick from tinder (she opened me saying something like nice muscles) and I managed to escalate the conversation rather quickly to dirty sex talk. Now when I say dirty sex talk, I mean stuff like I'm going to hold you by the neck tight and smash you deep... words along those lines. She was loving it and we sorted it that she would come over to mine later tonight so we could get down to business. Anyway, she then asks for my snapchat which I only setup like 3 days ago (yes I have been a longtime loser, that shit is changing fast though). We start chatting on snapchat and I send her a full body nude with a lustful look on my face. I thought that was the whole reason why she wanted move the interaction to snapchat. I said: "you're having second thoughts aren't you" as a tease because she made it clear how excited she was for tonight when we were messaging and I thought this chick is so into it she'd be all "hell no, I can't wait, etc". Then she replies she's kinda freaked out and that me sending a nude is "creepy". Trying to steer the ship back on track, I said something like "I crossed the line and I apologise. I want you to be comfortable, how about we meet for coffee or something" (so she knows i'm not a psycho). She then unmatches on tinder and blocks snapchat. I feel sick and totally shit cause I was getting laid again and suddenly i'm not. Wtf, did I do something wrong. Maybe asking if she was having second thoughts planted the seed in her head, I don't know. I just don't see how there is a big jump from dirty sex talk to sending nudes. Any constructive criticism and advice is greatly appreciated.
Yeah, you did a bunch of things "wrong". First off, if she isn't already sucking your dick, then don't assume you'll get laid. Also, sounds like you didn't know what you were doing and instead of filtering the girl you just scared her away. I remember this guy from a website similar to this one, I think his name is Will, anyway, his method for pulling girls from tinder was sending a nude pic, so he could be 100% sure that any girl that met up with him would be dtf, you overdid the whole screening thing and made it weird.
Talking about sex is a big no unless you are super attractive and have tons of matches so it doesn't matter if one girl gets creeped out because you have a bunch of other girls and even then, why do it anyways.
What I do is I act like a normal guy, "hey, cutie, what's up" "cool, yeah, blah blah, whatever" "so how about we hang out and grab some icecream, if we like each we can watch a movie at my place", when you put it like this the girl knows you are not creepy and that you're giving her an out in case she doesn't want to sleep with you after all (tho most of the time it happens anyway). Just be normal bro and don't come off like a horny dog.
Thanks for the reply man. Like I said, i'm super inexperienced and am winging this shit right now until I learn from my failures (fake it till I make it). My ego/self-esteem has recently exploded due to the fact i'm getting my life together, good things are happening and i'm talking to lots of girls and have a few solid prospects. I'm trying to ride it and control it at the same time, this is new ground for me. To be honest I legit just had sex with my second girl in my life last night, drove her home at 4am and then matched with this other chick at like 9am and started messaging each other and we arranged she would drive to mine tonight and we would proceed to fornicate all night. Bro I don't understand, I'm in the position where I am interested in getting laid, so why is it a bad thing to escalate quicker with a girl if I think she is dtf? Does that make sense? I am not being a smart-ass I am simply out of my depth right now until I learn. Also, we were talking very dirty and then I send her a nude and suddenly that's creepy to her. I just don't get how she is telling me over messages that she wants me inside her and then a nude somehow crosses the line. I think I just went overboard and got too excited, all those bulking hormones haha.
1. Never send a dick pic without being explicitly asked for it. Ever.
2. Never bring up or offer a dick pic even if the convo is sexual. Again, have her lead the way on that.
3. Never be the first one to send any kind of selfie or shirtless or sexual picture, period, unless she explicitly asks you for it. If she does, tell her you want one first.
The amount of awkward convos girls have shown me where a dude just pops off with sending her what he believes are sexy pics of himself—out of nowhere—is incredibly high. Happens all the time.
4. Listen to what the other guy wrote about mostly playing it cool before meeting up.
5. Read BIB’s tinder guide for more tips.
What happened in your situation is the girl got turned off by whatever you sent her. No girls wanna see that, especially out of nowhere. Especially if you were making a “lustful face.” Just don’t be a guy who sends shit like that and you’ll avoid these scenarios in the future. Most girls aren’t really visually oriented for things like that in the same way we are.
I was just messaging this chick from tinder (she opened me saying something like nice muscles) and I managed to escalate the conversation rather quickly to dirty sex talk. Now when I say dirty sex talk, I mean stuff like I'm going to hold you by the neck tight and smash you deep... words along those lines. She was loving it and we sorted it that she would come over to mine later tonight so we could get down to business. Anyway, she then asks for my snapchat which I only setup like 3 days ago
Once you and her agreed on a time for her to come over, I would've ended the conversation there. Unless something last minute came up that affects your ability to meet with her, there's no other reason to communicate with this girl until she is at your door. If she happened to asked for my Snapchat after agreeing to meet up, I either would've ignored the text entirely or just tell that I don't have a Snapchat and stopped responding.
We start chatting on snapchat and I send her a full body nude with a lustful look on my face. I thought that was the whole reason why she wanted move the interaction to snapchat. I said: "you're having second thoughts aren't you" as a tease because she made it clear how excited she was for tonight when we were messaging and I thought this chick is so into it she'd be all "hell no, I can't wait, etc". Then she replies she's kinda freaked out and that me sending a nude is "creepy". Trying to steer the ship back on track, I said something like "I crossed the line and I apologise. I want you to be comfortable, how about we meet for coffee or something"
Well to you, you may have had a "lustful" look on your face, but based on her reaction, your face was anything but "lustful". Number 1 rule of sending nudes to girls is to only take it from the waist down..NEVER show your face. Unless you're a porn star, it's very hard to keep a sexy look on your face while maintaining a hard-on. Actually most people make weird/goofy faces when they're aroused. Also NEVER apologize. If she gave me that reaction..I would've called her on it "Oh don't get scared now girl, all the freaky stuff you was talking earlier". I honestly don't think this girl was DTF to begin with. She might have just been looking for some sexual attention as opposed to sexual intercourse. I can almost guarantee that had she actually came over to your place, she would've pulled a similar stunt the moment you began to escalate on her physically. My advice to you is don't worry too much about this situation. Chalk it up as a lesson in why screening works. The more aggressive you are with women, the more you'll get "rejected".
Never send dick pics. Ever. It's not a turn on. Coincidentally, the other day my main FB showed me her Snapchat with a pathetically long list of dudes who all message her quite often and send her dick pics thinking that it's going to get them laid. Long story short, it doesn't.
Thanks for all the advice and tips guys, I really do appreciate it. I'm currently on day 8 of the AA program and have been a shy guy all my life, scared to talk to any girls let alone hot ones. I'm only coming out of my shell now. I'm the type of person who likes to be the best I can at everything I do and I don't want to let any potential I have go to waste. I am just starting to figure shit out, not just with girls. I have the mindset that failure is a good thing assuming I can learn from my mistakes. Honestly, I think I was just a little too excited and couldn't believe the fact that I just had sex with my second girl, this other chick was supposedly going to come to mine the following night and I have arranged with a third girl to go to hers on Monday (which is today, however I have some sort of throat infection and will have to cancel ) I am not bragging, just giving some background and perspective on how a dude who was a virgin like 3 weeks ago was all of a sudden at that moment in time going to be banging 3 different girls in the space of 72 hours. I hope you can understand my position.
Jake da Dawg - Thanks for the input bro and cheers regarding my success haha. I'm pretty sure you're talking about the guy (Will) who runs a sight similar to this and I read a lot of his shit religiously and have bought all his books and would recommend. He is like Chris and believes in what gets results, not fluffy BS blue pill.
IslandRum - I will refrain from sending dick pics/nudes unless the girl asks. Thanks for recommending BIB's tinder guide, I will check it out. Also, no more lustful faces (cringe). I will play it cool in future .
tjfromnyc - In future, I will end the conversation once time and place details have been exchanged and confirmed. No snapchat either. Once again, no more (cringe) lustful faces (double cringe). I will only take nudes from chest down (I don't train my ass off to only show waist down haha). You are totally right about not apologising and you're suggested response I think would have been the way to go considering if she was actually serious as a pose to just getting off. Lastly, I like the approach of being aggressive with girls who I am either way on as I don't really give a shit if I scare them off and if they are down then cool.
dc7 - Once again, no more dick pics haha. Thanks for recommending that guide,, I am sure it will be an education.
Play_time_is_over - Thanks for your input bro, however I don't think she was "never" going to do it. I went through a similar process (minus all the creepy dumb shit) with the second girl I banged. I am coming to realise there are a lot of freaky chicks out there!
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