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Been with girlfriend for 2.5 years, we have traveled together and see each other very regularly.
Random guy from college messaging her a lot which she told me about and claimed "it's annoying."
Last night I picked her up from her friend's house and she was drunk, she passed out in my apartment and her phone was going off.
Checked her phone and it was the guy so I looked at the messages (whether that's ethically right or wrong I did it).
They were texting all night and she invited him to come out, flirty messages about drinking and partying, she sent lots of kisses and said they are good friends and will talk tomorrow.
Obviously a huge red flag because us losers know the guy wants to fuck and girlfriend hasn't shut it down/ignored it.
I'm angry and disappointed but looking to approach this in a civil manner without exhibiting jealousy and acting like an insecure beta male.
yeah, huge red flag. if you're in a committed relationship (monogamous) she obv shouldn't be doing that. i'd probably bail. i'd confront her about it and be like "yo while you were wasted your boy was blowing your shit up, what's up with that?". she'll fumble around for some lame excuse/try to blame you for looking through her phone. inevitable huge fight where you'll probably break up.
alternative plan: do/say nothing about the texts, start looking for other chicks while distancing yourself from girlfriend.
Currently they're "only friends" so if you straight up confront her, there's a lack of evidence and you'll be the piece of shit for going through her phone.
Distance yourself from her so breaking up is easier. Once you have some solid evidence then pull the pin. There is a chance she isn't interested in him so give her a chance to tell him to fuck off before you point the finger.
To me, it seems quite a coincidence for her to pass out at your place and the phone going off all night. Girls are pretty good at hiding this shit., but She's been hyping up the conversation with him for quite a while. While she has plausible deniability, it's obvious what her intentions are.
My suspicion is, she's hoping you create drama, so she can twist it, play the victim and have an excuse to bail out.
Personally I'd downgrade her to fb(whitout verbalizing it) while playing the field and looking for other prospects, so you're not left with nothing.
Relationships can be brutal, and they're always about who has more power in the relationship.
At 2.5 years in a relationship, it sounds as if this is a legit boyfriend/girlfriend deal with real feelings and not some casual fuck buddy thing. The fact that you're asking advice tells me I'm guessing correctly.
What she is doing with this guy is not acceptable at this point in your relationship.
I've been through shit and it's not worth it. I'd bail.
I'd distance myself from her by no longer phoning or texting her. Let her be the initiator and be reserved in your responses. She might chase you or cut bait herself.
As I said, I've been through this shit before. I took a line from the song Superman by Eminem and think it's made me a bit smarter when it comes to this shit.
"I'll never let another chick bring me down in a relationship"
Girls start to lose sexual attraction for their monogamous boyfriends at about the 2-3 year mark, so this post doesn't particularly surprise me, especially since ya'll see each other very frequently. Don't feel bad about it, it's just how female sexuality works.
Everyone's right, you have hit the point of no return. It's very likely she either has already slept with this guy, or is about to. It's probably time to find a new gf
There's really no right way to talk to her about it. If you ignore it, she'll still fuck the guy. If you bring it up with her in any way, at most you can delay the inevitable, but she'll end up feeling the desire to cheat even more strongly. You cannot win this situation by acting a certain way
Thanks for everything you guys. It's time for me to move on to bigger things!
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