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Red Flag after 2.5 years?
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TOPIC: Red Flag after 2.5 years?

Red Flag after 2.5 years? 07 Apr 2017 23:04 #281709

Been with girlfriend for 2.5 years, we have traveled together and see each other very regularly.
Random guy from college messaging her a lot which she told me about and claimed "it's annoying."
Last night I picked her up from her friend's house and she was drunk, she passed out in my apartment and her phone was going off.

Checked her phone and it was the guy so I looked at the messages (whether that's ethically right or wrong I did it).
They were texting all night and she invited him to come out, flirty messages about drinking and partying, she sent lots of kisses and said they are good friends and will talk tomorrow.

Obviously a huge red flag because us losers know the guy wants to fuck and girlfriend hasn't shut it down/ignored it.
I'm angry and disappointed but looking to approach this in a civil manner without exhibiting jealousy and acting like an insecure beta male.

Advice? and many thanks.
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Red Flag after 2.5 years? 07 Apr 2017 23:13 #281710

yeah, huge red flag. if you're in a committed relationship (monogamous) she obv shouldn't be doing that. i'd probably bail. i'd confront her about it and be like "yo while you were wasted your boy was blowing your shit up, what's up with that?". she'll fumble around for some lame excuse/try to blame you for looking through her phone. inevitable huge fight where you'll probably break up.

alternative plan: do/say nothing about the texts, start looking for other chicks while distancing yourself from girlfriend.
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Red Flag after 2.5 years? 07 Apr 2017 23:19 #281711

Thanks man, appreciate the advice.
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Red Flag after 2.5 years? 08 Apr 2017 00:00 #281713

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Yeah the alternative plan sounds good.

Currently they're "only friends" so if you straight up confront her, there's a lack of evidence and you'll be the piece of shit for going through her phone.
Distance yourself from her so breaking up is easier. Once you have some solid evidence then pull the pin. There is a chance she isn't interested in him so give her a chance to tell him to fuck off before you point the finger.
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Red Flag after 2.5 years? 08 Apr 2017 01:22 #281714

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To me, it seems quite a coincidence for her to pass out at your place and the phone going off all night. Girls are pretty good at hiding this shit., but She's been hyping up the conversation with him for quite a while. While she has plausible deniability, it's obvious what her intentions are.
My suspicion is, she's hoping you create drama, so she can twist it, play the victim and have an excuse to bail out.
Personally I'd downgrade her to fb(whitout verbalizing it) while playing the field and looking for other prospects, so you're not left with nothing.
Relationships can be brutal, and they're always about who has more power in the relationship.
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Red Flag after 2.5 years? 08 Apr 2017 14:34 #281736

At 2.5 years in a relationship, it sounds as if this is a legit boyfriend/girlfriend deal with real feelings and not some casual fuck buddy thing. The fact that you're asking advice tells me I'm guessing correctly.

What she is doing with this guy is not acceptable at this point in your relationship.

I've been through shit and it's not worth it. I'd bail.

I'd distance myself from her by no longer phoning or texting her. Let her be the initiator and be reserved in your responses. She might chase you or cut bait herself.

As I said, I've been through this shit before. I took a line from the song Superman by Eminem and think it's made me a bit smarter when it comes to this shit.

"I'll never let another chick bring me down in a relationship"

Dude, don't let her bring you down.
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Red Flag after 2.5 years? 08 Apr 2017 23:49 #281756

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Rip brother, typical attention whoring chick,
you've got this girl and you've got your self respect, pick which one you're gonna keep.
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Red Flag after 2.5 years? 09 Apr 2017 00:14 #281761

"i'd probably bail. "
Agree. you can't come back from that. She's lining up a new branch to swing to, and as soon as she fucks that guy, she'll dump you in a heartbeat.
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Red Flag after 2.5 years? 09 Apr 2017 15:34 #281794

Bitches love attention. Bitches cheat. Its just what they do. Don't take it personal. Probably half the women I've hooked up with were in relationships or married.
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Red Flag after 2.5 years? 09 Apr 2017 17:55 #281807

Girls start to lose sexual attraction for their monogamous boyfriends at about the 2-3 year mark, so this post doesn't particularly surprise me, especially since ya'll see each other very frequently. Don't feel bad about it, it's just how female sexuality works.

Everyone's right, you have hit the point of no return. It's very likely she either has already slept with this guy, or is about to. It's probably time to find a new gf

There's really no right way to talk to her about it. If you ignore it, she'll still fuck the guy. If you bring it up with her in any way, at most you can delay the inevitable, but she'll end up feeling the desire to cheat even more strongly. You cannot win this situation by acting a certain way
Thanks for everything you guys. It's time for me to move on to bigger things!

So long, and thanks for all the fish!
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Last edit: by Catch You Later.

Red Flag after 2.5 years? 09 Apr 2017 19:35 #281817

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Everyone here is giving you pretty good advice.
I'd just bring it up to her and then break up with her. Then just go start fucking other prettier girls.

You can go about it any way you like, but you should definitely break up with her. Good luck
What you sow is what you reap
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