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Hey guys! Thank you all for finding time and helping me with my situation. It means a lot!
Before I start, I want to say that I have no desire or intention to become a player or bang 100 chicks a year or have 5 fuckbuddies etc.
I like Success articles from GLL though.
I'm a full time stock trader with my own office. Study finance at the university. I have an apartment. Clear vision for the future. Always positive, working my ass off every single day to accomplish my goals. Making amazing money, travel 3-4 times a year etc..
I'm more into relationships and experiencing all my passions and success with somebody that I love and care about.
Now to my story:
My girlfriend(23) and I(26) have been together for 3 years and 3 months. We would both agree that we were in an amazing and serious relationship. We had plenty of fun, almost no fights, very supportive of each other. I have used our relationship and her positive influence to improve myself in all the parts of my life. 2016 has been the best year of my life. I have been working relentlessly on my business, going back to the university while working part time, working out regularly(although I’ve been working out for 11 years now) and making nice money. Basically, my life is filled with positive energy, lots of hope, discipline, never giving up on my dreams and hard work.
Personally, I really liked that deep inside she was really honest and nice human being, she has always been very supportive of my goals, she would give me lots of attention, help, our sex life has been amazing, etc…
She's basically a complete package except for one thing. She is addictied to coke(socially). She goes out once a week with her friends and does some coke. I've always been supportive of her trying to quit and get some positive habits but she always slips back into it. It's really tough to battle it.
Cheating has never been an issue. She is not a cheater. Our sex life has been amazing. However, she got a rush on somebody else recently and two weeks ago my girlfriend made out with that guy. She told me basically last week when she was breaking up with me.
At that moment my whole world collapsed. I started begging, pleasing, crying, rationalising, asking for explanation. Looked needy and desperate.
It was so surreal. We have been doing so good together. I was devastated.
We have been living together for 2 years so that makes it even worse. Last Wednesday she left abroad to visit her parents at their holiday house for 9 days. She is meant to come back this coming Thursday, although she might stay longer to reorganise her life. She said she will get peace in her mind will think about everything and then will see what's gonna happen.
She felt guilty about the other guy, told me how much she loves me, how amazing we were together.
But wants a fresh start separate. It's so hard to swallow. Especially, after all we have done together, all that support we gave each other...
Now I feel like I lost a purpose in my life. I have to get over it, but am feeling weak as hell.
Is there any way we can turn things around? Is there somebody here with similar experience? How can I rebuild that attraction she had towards me?
PS. Deep inside, I'm a nice guy. I don't want to go out clubbing and bang some drunk chicks. At the end of the day I'm into having a relationship and enjoying life with somebody I love.
Your girlfriend cheated on you dude. And now she's acting like it's for her to decide about this relationship. Have some self respect and don't give her the time of day unless she's begging for you to come back down the line. Tell her that her stuff needs to be out of the apt by the end of the weekend. Be an adult about it, don't get into arguments, tell her what's what and leave it at that. Then if you can get away while she's moving her stuff out that's a good move as well.
Don't be strung along. Don't participate in mind games. Don't be some poor bastard who's waiting to hear the verdict about your relationship from the girl who violated the trust. Be straight up w her that this is done now and maybe in a few months you can talk again and see how you feel.
Time will heal how hurt you are about this I assure you. It might take a while. But it will. And whatever outcome you want from this I promise that you being strong here is the best move. And when you're ready you really do need to meet more girls. It has nothing to do with being a nice guy or not a nice guy. Just for your own emotional health and seeing that a girl
who cheats on you is not some end all be all.
I've been in your shoes, and looking back, I really wish I followed the above advice. Girls want a man who's fine on his own without her. Fake that if you have to. Most importantly for your own well being.
You seem like an intelligent guy with a lot going for you. She seems like a disloyal party girl doesn't care as much about you as you do about her. She isn't the one. Love is like a drug, so I'm sure you're going to disregard our advice for a while and continue trying to get this girl back, but let me tell you two things:
1) She's already made up her mind. She doesn't see a lifelong relationship with you, and that's why shes cutting it off now.
2) You begging her, while SHE is in the wrong.. is the WORST thing you can do. You should have been livid, not begging for another chance. She fucked up, not you. No woman will ever respect a man who lets them get away with something like that, and then rewards there behavior by belittling themselves and begging for a second chance.
The sooner you come to terms with the fact that this relationship is over, the more pride you will be able to walk away with.
You don't need to be going out clubbing to bang some drunk chicks. I didn't start fucking girls at clubs so I could have some crazy body count. The point is that you're learning what your options are. When you're confident enough due to your experience to know you HAVE options, you never allow yourself to settle again.
Give it a shot.
Expert on behavioral psychology & evolutionary psychology.
150+ Successful Penetrations. Travel. Party. Make money. Stay weird.
wow man that's terrible to hear, I can relate since I've experienced things along those lines.
not looking forward to the reactions but I gotta be honest, that "blog post" thing is a bunch of bullshit.
here's the not so pleasant reality man, a true relationship where you'd actually spend your life with someone can't be about playing games and all this stupid pua stuff, I know a lot of people will disagree with me but frankly it's know it all's in their teens and twenties that haven't had a real relationship(no keeping a girl excited for a few years doesn't count).
I can't really even put into words how complicated it all is but basically humans are shitty, lack self reflection and girls are some of the worst offenders.
go ahead and do what the blog says, maybe it will be an interesting experience.
Your lack of experience has brought you to this point. It's obvious that you can't get laid whenever you want, in GLL's terms, so you got yourself into a relationship with a girl who doesn't fit your standards but you are hoping to fix.
You are blind to the situation but this is a good thing for you. Don't get back with her. Start seeing other girls. Gain experience and I can assure you that your next girlfriend will be 100 times better than your last.
GLL says to get a girlfriend after fucking at least 30 girls. Why? Because at that point you have more experience. You are more wise.
Sorry to hear that man, I hope things get better. My advice or opinion is very similar to what has already been said. Of course you're hurt and disappointed but when you think about it what were you doing in a relationship with someone who does coke? Not that that makes her a horrible person but that's a huge life choice and if you don't do coke, or sell coke that's a huge problem to me at-least trying to date someone with that life-style.
I know that you are not perfect, so I'm sure there are things that she may have dealt with to be with you. But doing coke, for example shows there is something about her that probably isn't right mentally. So her having a relationship like you seem to desire would be unlikely. Think about the movie Forest Gump.
I have been in similar situations, when the person you are with doesn't want to or doesn't know how to love you the same way you do them.... Good Luck
Don't pm me asking questions if you are not going to message me back with a thank you after a lengthy answer or if you are going to debate with my experiences. If you can't say please and thank you, ask your mother to teach you some manners.
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Kratom is next!
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