TOPIC: It's clear 99% of us are not retaining girls. This is a problem.

There have been several separate threads about this over recent weeks, starting with my own and today Terminators (and others in between).

Based on the replies in these threads it really seems like almost none of us are actually retaining the girls we want to retain. Some of the people who posted in mine had some excellent thoughts, but after reading the replies in the others that have popped up it's just very clear no one really has a solid gameplan for this or is in control of it in a real way. I hope I'm not the only one who agrees this is a huge problem. Any of us who have done this for a little bit know the pain of a girl you had a great time with just ghosting. It sucks.

Is the official GLL community consensus one giant "we don't know", "it's all random," etc?

Chris' article about retention is excellent but it comes from a place of assuming the girl wants to see you again. If she wants to see you again, it's a great guide to make sure she KEEPS wanting to see you again.

But what do we do to increase the likihood of that being the case? Is there anything? A follow up article or a podcast might be very helpful, just on best practice type shit about what usually generates success once a girl walks out that door. Like I would love to know from Chris about after a girl left his apartment, how he handled it. Did he just wait for her to reach out? Did he go radio silent for a week until he wanted to hang out again? What kind of text did he generally send a girl afterwards if he sent any at all? And how was it phrased?

I know people might still say you can't tilt the odds in your favor, whatever happens will happen. But Chris is very specific--down to the punctuation and capitalization of the text you send and the follow up phone call--about what to do after you get a girls number to mostly ensure she does not flake. So there MUST be shit we can all agree on, some sort of very general guide to follow, as to what exactly to text or do with these girls once they walk out our door. To hopefully increase the likelihood of them coming back.

Again it would be great to hear from Chris about this. Cuz it seems to be a huge problem here that none of us have a concrete answer to. And for a community of dudes getting pussy something seems very off about that.

I wanna quote WoodisGood--he posted this in Terminators thread. Things like this is the kind of real insight we need to have more of:

"Not having passionate, in the moment sex will hold you back retention wise. I've noticed girls becoming alot more responsive after putting MAXIMAL EFFORT in bed (good morning texts, heart kissy emojis, i miss youuuu) If you give them the best sex they've had you are in the driver's seat (hmm. is she a keeper or not?) They will pressure you into a relationship --- assuming you are hitting the other categories (fun to be with, thoughtful etc)."

I think it starts with the type of girls you are willing to take on a date

DTF - they want sex and are less willing to invest additional time into you as they have less patience for sex

GF-Quality - take more work for lay, have more patience overall, have less sex, actually looking someone to spend time with

I only go for GF-quality and honestly, I do a good job by screening out girls with "easy" tendencies before the date. I've only taken out one obviously DTF girl on a date and I had no interest in a second date or getting the imminent lay. She actually initiated the first date and she was hot so I couldn't refuse the date the day after matching. She passed the looks and good job criteria, but she was high maintenance, overly alcoholic (took swigs of wine out the bottle in her backseat) and airheaded. She even added me on FB a month later, but I haven't hit her back. I could have wasted more time on her, but I chose to focus on my current prospects who are more retainable

Besides that, I'd say 90% of the girls I had sex with were retainable/retained. The 10% - 2 said they wanted a relationship too early (in order to have sex again) and 1 said she just wanted to keep feelings out of it.

I think it comes down with not wasting time on the easy DTF girls. I have a limited amount of time in my week for dates so I'd rather date 1 solid screened new prospect every week than 3 whothefuckknows??...

Intresting thread. Lets wait for what the rest have to say.

Talked to one of my old lays and she was extremely surprised that I even care about retention. She said she strongly got the vibe from me that all I want is one night stands. Also, I'd like to point out that I'm an emotional trainwreck right now due to unrelated issues, so I wouldn't like any issues I'm having dragged into any kind of general trend on the forum. However, I welcome the discussion.

Maybe we all just need to fuck more girls...

AustinC wrote: But what do we do to increase the likihood of that being the case? Is there anything?

The same stuff you do to get her in the first place. Look like a stud, have great style, be socially free (AKA you are able to be yourself, DGAF, and are a fun guy to be around), you are good in bed, etc.

Granted, there are some instances where there are specific circumstances where there is nothing you can do that would've changed her mind (E.G. there's an ex she's in love with who just got her back, she only wanted a one night stand, etc.) and in those instances its' ridiculous to blame yourself and look at your date like a science equation asking yourself what you did wrong.

The thing is, when we experience success we rarely talk about it, or at least after you start experiencing a consistent amount of it it starts to become less and less important to tell the world about it (at least in my experience). I know the majority of posts are made asking questions when things go wrong, not when things go right, because guys need expertise from other guys to help them fix a problem, correct an error, deal with a mind boggling situation, etc. I used to post every lay I got because I was super excited about it when I first started and it was a big deal to me back then. Now it's a lot less relevant to my goals and isn't nearly as significant of a monumental life achievement as it previously was.

What I'm getting at is, when you are killing it and are simply happy though, you aren't going to be compelled to write thread after thread about it, you might touch on it a couple times, but you are not going to be posting threads daily boasting how awesome things are for you.

The most posts I ever made was when I didn't know wtf I was doing, and when I was traversing this mind fuck of a journey in the beginning.

Everyone has ups and downs, and I've certainly had difficulties retaining girls in certain situations, but I've also had exceptionally easy situations as well where retention was handed to me on a silver platter.

Anytime something goes wrong, you can start to question yourself and start to wonder if you actually know wtf you're doing, but once you do this for years and years you start to realize that most of the time (almost every time) if you are a good looking dude and are a blast to hangout with, it is probably something out of your control that is impacting your situation and isn't something you did wrong at all.

Many of us are retaining girls just fine, we just don't post about it.

My 0.02

OP how many girls have you fucked in total?

WoodisGood wrote: I think it starts with the type of girls you are willing to take on a date

DTF - they want sex and are less willing to invest additional time into you as they have less patience for sex

GF-Quality - take more work for lay, have more patience overall, have less sex, actually looking someone to spend time with

I only go for GF-quality and honestly, I do a good job by screening out girls with "easy" tendencies before the date. I've only taken out one obviously DTF girl on a date and I had no interest in a second date or getting the imminent lay. She actually initiated the first date and she was hot so I couldn't refuse the date the day after matching. She passed the looks and good job criteria, but she was high maintenance, overly alcoholic (took swigs of wine out the bottle in her backseat) and airheaded. She even added me on FB a month later, but I haven't hit her back. I could have wasted more time on her, but I chose to focus on my current prospects who are more retainable

Besides that, I'd say 90% of the girls I had sex with were retainable/retained. The 10% - 2 said they wanted a relationship too early (in order to have sex again) and 1 said she just wanted to keep feelings out of it.

I think it comes down with not wasting time on the easy DTF girls. I have a limited amount of time in my week for dates so I'd rather date 1 solid screened new prospect every week than 3 whothefuckknows??...

The same girl that is making you wait for sex has fucked or fucked a guy after one date. When you have more experience with girls you will see that girls are not that different from us guys.

Hey Austin, you gotta read from blackdragon website. Most of what you need you'll find it there in regards to retention and relationship management.
Here's an article about women coming and going.
www.blackdragonblog.com/2016/11/21/women...lsnfte-case-studies/

My assumption has always been that, that most women will be temporary in your life.
Personally I've lost most women because I got bored of the sex, and in the cases where we didn't have anything beyond sex between us, I lost touch of them. There's also a few that tried to push for relationship and left when didn't get it from me.

You can only have FULL control of quality and quantity of sex you have in life, not who you have it with.

And to any story that starts with: "There's this one girl..."
Here's the answer:
www.blackdragonblog.com/2016/09/15/theres-one-girl/

Good sex, make her feel good about herself, show that you care, don't annoy her, give her space

ETA wrote: Hey Austin, you gotta read from blackdragon website. Most of what you need you'll find it there in regards to retention and relationship management.
Here's an article about women coming and going.
www.blackdragonblog.com/2016/11/21/women...lsnfte-case-studies/

My assumption has always been that, that most women will be temporary in your life.
Personally I've lost most women because I got bored of the sex, and in the cases where we didn't have anything beyond sex between us, I lost touch of them. There's also a few that tried to push for relationship and left when didn't get it from me.

You can only have FULL control of quality and quantity of sex you have in life, not who you have it with.

And to any story that starts with: "There's this one girl..."
Here's the answer:
www.blackdragonblog.com/2016/09/15/theres-one-girl/

I'm going to have to agree with ETA on this one boys. I know most of you will read Blackdragon and think he's some PUA idiot who never does cold approaching, but what I can say is that:

- I found Blackdragon before GLL
- Since I found GLL, the number of girls I have fucked + the quality of them has DRASTICALLY increased
- Having said the above, my retention rates for girls have dropped from 100% of the girls I fuck from day game to like <20%

In terms of retention vs. mass fucking, I guess it just depends on what you guys want. I'm close to 30 now, so I'm more keen on having a good number of hot girls fucked + retention - there is indeed very little useful stuff on here about retention.

Retention is the whole point of all of this. If you have 400 one night stands but not a single girl wants to see you again or is interested in you as a person then thats depressing to me. Getting good with sleeping with women is the goal to be able to sleep with multiple women where you then have a ecosystem of hot women that you CHOOSE to be around because you have options, and then picking your favorite one or two to go deeper with out of that circle instead of what most guys do which is settling for what you can get because your inexperienced and she giving you sex.. MY OPINION

Now with that said I am very good at retaining women. And I honestly think the key is by NOT retaining them. let me explain. When I see and sleep with someone new, The whole experience is a peak experience for them. I am actively being happy, fun, engaging, and alpha. Sex is open free fun in the moment and talked about. When our time is up wether its that night or the next morning they leave or I do. Now from this point is where it seems like your questions begins.

The biggest key to retaining is TO DO ALL THE RIGHT SHIT WHEN THEY WERE WITH YOU THEN LEAVE THEM ALONE AFTER. Ill text once the next day some shit like "had fun the other night" or "glad we met" something that gives her something but does not need a reply. She is more than welcome to ignore that and it doesn't shit on me because it was a statement not a question. Now they MAJOR key is you need to get her fucking social media. Snapchat is the best instagram is next and then Facebook. Fucking say hey lemme get your snap. And then when she leaves you bet your ass she's watching your shit. SOOO be cool, live a cool life, snap yourself with your friends laughing and leave her alone, I even snap other women that I'm seeing. SHE WILL RETAIN YOU. you'll get texts and calls and she will actively retain you. Women hate needy insecure guys and you cannot be that guy or she will ignore you. Have your own life shit going on and friends and women and you'll be surprised how hard she works to be in it. Now with that said, make it easy for her to do so, don't be a dick and ignore her and make her jump through hoops.

Another little practical thing you can do is, I send them little snapchat emojis or a heart or some bullshit to let them know Im thinking about them but its so no effort and it so doesn't need a response. Dont need anything from her, don't ask her bullshit questions if you still haven't retained her yet. send a fucking heart in the eye emoji on a pic she posted on snapchat. Or a funny gif over text. Offer value and fun. Things that give without needing a response.

And then when you see her again which you will. hold frame and be fun and carefree and fuck her good again. She will chase you forever.