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Hello everyone, first post here. Been lurking here now and then and decided to ask help here because this is best self improvent site.
I'm 22 years old and have'been on game since 2011, so I'm not new in this scene. Quick story about me:
I used to be this shy kid who never got attention from girls. I was never bad looking, got lot of compliments that I'm "cute".
I was 18 and virgin, and decided that this need to be changed. Long story short, I found pua community, started cold approaching, started self improvement etc. After lot of effort I finally lost my virginity, started to get ONS:s, fwbs, and finally a girlfriend that I was always wanted. This was 2 years ago when I met her. I got lot of opitons back then, so I was picky about who I would settle with. I started to date her and fell love. I was aware of all this redpill stuff, so I never went beta and I was always leading the relationship.
Few weeks ago she betrayed me brutally. She was refusing sex and not on the mood for last few months, and I was suspicious about if she cheated. I never became insecure about it thought. Anyway, few weeks ago, I was at town going home at night, when I saw her with some dudes. I ran over her and made little small talk, what is she doing now. She said that she is going over these dudes place. I said "no, you came with me", she refused. I told that "well, we dont need to meet anymore then", and she was "ok". I was told to those dudes "wtf this is my girlfriend!", and my gf said "I'm not your girlfriend". One of the dudes said "I'm going to fuck your girlfriend soon". I was raging inside, about to explode, but somehow I got calm because I didn't want anymore problems. This much how she appreciated me after two years, I was always good for her, never lied to her, trusted her, and she did this to me.
Now you imagine that this guy was some 10/10 slayer, but worst thing was: He was ugly, fat and manlet. I was so outside of his league in any aspect, and my gf changed me for him like it was nothing. I spent so much time for looksmaxing and learning socials skills, and this is how it ended. Everything flushed in seconds. I think it wasn't even sex either, I have 7'4 inch penor and always fucked her good.
Now I'm depressed and have no motivation for self improvement, feels like all these 4 years have been wasted. I put so much effort for this, to get girlfriend, and she just changed me for ugly dude and wasn't even sorry about it. I've been nc since for her and fucked few new girls, but it hasn't helped for my mood. How can I overcome this depression and feeling of being betrayed?
Sorry to here that dude. The first time i heard an ex was talking to another guy, i almost died. So i can imagine what you're going through. But you're an alpha, don't forget that. And don't ignore how much you've built yourself over the last 4 years. I think the mistake here was that even though you claim you never went beta, you made your happiness dependent on her and you got burnt.
Gather yourself up and move on. You'll find even more badder chicks than her. You don't want to be with a female like her anyway.
Similar thing happened to me two years ago when I was 18 - I am 20 now.
Three months after the break up--I went full NC--she hit me up and wanted to meet up. I replied to her message, we met up, and I left 20 minutes into the conversation and still regret it to this day. I wish I had just never answered and COMPLETELY forgotten about her.
I think the thing here is you need to decide, in your mind, that the relationship is over. Then and only then can you fully move on, and climb out of the hole you have found yourself in. Forget about her completely and move on. It may not feel like it now, but it will get better, and she WILL contact you.
Believe it or not, when you finally find yourself happy and having fun, you'll glance down at your phone and notice she has texted you. My personal advice: don't answer. It will affect your happiness negatively in the longterm. It might also feel good for a few moments that you have completely moved on and she hasn't, so that's a plus.
Best of luck.
EDIT: Also, to speed up the recovery process faster, I would recommend literally destroying, getting rid of, and deleting every single thing that reminds you of her. It will make it that much easier. Stack your calendar with activities, hit up old friends, hit the gym, and try to have lots of fun.
When I broke up, it was because I was unhappy in the relationship even thought I still loved her. I got over the initial hurt in less than a month. You've been betrayed badly so it will probably hurt even more for you. In a couple months I am sure you will get over it. In the mean time, hit the gym and maybe start boxing. It helps a lot. If she is a human she will feel guilt. If she ever contacts you again ignore her. Try not to start any bad habits to distract you or fill the void.
I write a note in my phone's note app like "Mary-Jane Detachment" and list all the reasons that you're better off without her.
She's done it once she'll do it again
Seeing her prevents me from meeting more quality women
If she was the best I got 4 years ago, just imagine what I can do now
If I got back with her, I will hate myself for accepting her
Objectively she was gaining a few pounds and has weird eyes or whaetever..
Then anytime you catch yourself idealising her in your mind, just take a look at the list you made and remind yourself she aint all that.
When you wake up, read the list. When you sleep, read the list. Delete all her conversations and contact details. All feelings you have will pass. say out loud "these feelings will also pass".
You think you peaked with her at 22? Brah the best it yet to come..
fucking disgusting behaviour she displayed - its good you two split because this is not a human being deserving respect.
as for her why and the bigger reason behind her actions - we'll never know. trust me I know how you feel, it fucking sucks. Guys before me gave good suggestions so I would follow those - and in the meantime suck up the pain and ask yourself what you can learn from it and whats good about it (e.g. becoming a stronger man).
*Verified: Gets Laid
(Approved by Chris/GLL)
Lay count: 60+
Models, flight attendents, students, sorority girls, professional dancers, waitresses, party girls, fan girls, milfs, married women, and what not
"Beautiful women is what you attract by the man you become."
All I can say is, never get into a relationship with a person who has low morals, when you have high morals.
It just doesn't work.
For the next time - If you start a relationship with a low moral person then just get your sexual needs met and quit the
relationship by the next opportunity, otherwise it ends like it ended in your story.
People with high morals are givers & care takers, warm, "good" ... at some point low moral people always
abuse the good-heartedness of these people.
Go out, and find a "Good" high value girl, they are rare but they exist.
Btw, I talk from experience. Before Goodlookingloser i dated 2 girls who looked like pornstars, but both were so flakey and
flirtatious with everybody that I broke the contact with both of em ... both of them were low moral/low value girls, they called me afterwards a couple times but I didn't care. I wish i knew about GLL at the time - I would bang the shit out of them without getting into a relationship with them. Back then, my mindset was about to find a girlfriend, so my whole vibe screamed boyfriend material.
You must know when to bail man, otherwise your giving those "Bitches" room for humilation. I mean, the end of your story - the way she treated you in front of these other guys is just disgusting.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.