TOPIC: 365 Days of Doing What I Want Even If I'm Scared Shitless To Do It

hardcore wrote:

slickbackhair wrote:
Here is where I wish I said now looking back and what would’ve moved the convo forward

“It’s okay. Daddy gives you permission.”

But alas I didn’t.

Now come on. You don't want to come off as a creep do you?
You were normal, and that is a good thing.

Dude, come on. Save the "concern trolling". Read this:
killyourinnerloser.com/creepy/

If you want to get laid a lot, you're going to be called creepy sometimes. He was clearly having fun with this girl - in that context his Daddy joke would have been a bit of fun. What we don't need is guys on here - the guys who are supposed to be supportive of each other - adding more "You're creepy!" into the mix and shooting down guys who are going out there and trying to take their shot.

Having talked to Slickbackhair on a Skype call, he's the furtherest thing from creepy. Nicest, most chillest/laid back guy I've met.

Hardcore you just read the words as is but didn't read the context.

If you were there, you would've seen how much we were both giggling and laughing as if we were on the playground. Also, you should probably ask yourself why do you think it's creepy. I admit I have my own hangups about sex. I'm working on them.

But why did it bother YOU so much that I even desire to say something like that?

Worth thinking about.

[Day 5 of 365 days of doing what I want even if I'm scared shitless to do it]
[Or if it even feels like wrong. or I'm a bad person for doing so.]

Today could be summed up in one word.

Assertiveness.

I felt wrong for hitting up one of my colleagues/friends on some work we did. Like I'm bothering him or something.

Honestly, that's dumb. We are making huge money together so I'm sure he doesn't mind.

I also went to the dentist today.

This was more of just biting the bullet because I know I had gum issues. Smoked and drank a lot in my younger twenties. It definitely didn't help the cause. He's scheduling me for periodontal treatment. Luckily, it was caught early.

Could be worse. In a way, I'm thankful. We'll take care of this and get back to pearly whites.

So today, while not that exciting in terms of doing what I want...

It was still more like doing what needed to be done.

I did hit some girl up on tinder saying...

"It's okay. You can tell daddy your sins. I'm firm but fair."

To be truthful, I deleted that message before I sent it but then I said "why the fuck I'm worried about this lol."

Rewrote it send. See if that goes anywhere.

Crazy, I also went to the dentist today - definitely catching things earlier than later will help. You're young enough I bet it won't be too bad.

Honestly, when you first started this challenge, I couldn't make heads nor tails of it. But now I really appreciate you doing this. I should do this in the future. I still wince at hombre's FREEEEEDOM in McD when we were in NYC - even tho no body cared and it was awesome he didn't care either.

Yeah it's all about staying true. Owning myself. Even if I got some weird hangups about it.

[Day 6 of 365 days of doing what I want even if I'm scared shitless to do it]
[Or if it even feels wrong. or I'm a "bad person" for doing so.]

Today, when I woke up...

I decided I was going to do NOTHING.

I felt in my bones that I needed a day for myself. The past three days I've been up working late to get this project done that way - when one of the key guys goes on vaca - we won't be left scrambling.

Everything will be taken care of.

With that done...

I have two other sales letters to get cracking but I decided to say fuck it for today and just chill. I didn't even TRY to do any work. All I really did was clean my place up, clean my emails up, deleted a shitton of things.

Clean up my desktop. And just respond to some messages I got here and there.

But actual work, nah.

Straight up chillen.

I went to my local seafood spot downed two orders of oysters. I can practically taste the sea salt on them. Before, I'd never even think to reward myself for a good job done. But this time, I said screw that.

I want to have a good day to myself to relax and unwind.

Best part, I don't feel guilty for this.

Because I know with this in my system, tomorrow is going to be even better.

[Day 7 of 365 days of doing what I want even if I'm scared shitless to do it]
[Or if it even feels wrong. or I'm a "bad person" for doing so.]

"There's no such things as half-way crooks..."

That's how I felt about today.

I stopped short.

I talked to four separate chicks but each one of them I didn't go the distance. I wasn't honest about what I wanted.

I wasn't honest about my intentions. Just talking yada ya blah blah hippie hoo hah.

And I feel like it bled through to my interactions.

Today...

My takeaway is doing what you want serves you best when you go for it fully 100% balls on the table.

Another thing I learned from today was I found myself constantly imagining the worst case scenario.

That's so shit.

You don't focus on that. Because that's how it ends up happening.

Anything I've done for the past 7 years, I never imagined the worst. I imagined having my goal accomplished. Doing it. Feeling it fully. Enjoying it. Motherfucking thriving. Not feeling shook like a rabbit on the freeway.

Anyways, that's my takeaways for today.

These are my kind of favorite days.

Because it's a correct course to the right path.

[Day 8 of 365 days of doing what I want even if I'm scared shitless to do it]
[Or if it even feels wrong. or I'm a "bad person" for doing so.]

Somehow, I spent $127 on an uber in Syndey Australia.

Obviously, that wasn't me so I had to cancel my card, get a new one, and my plans for today got screwed.

That's the bad news.

The good news is that it made me curious about how I been spending my money so...

I went on google and I found this: docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/15m5axD9H...bLQwOYK-w/edit#gid=0

Above is a spreadsheet that you can use to track how you're spending your money.

Everything from rent, to itunes [aka tinder boosts], to food.

I made one change to the above sheet include Amazon.

This was EYE-OPENING.

In January, I only had about $5,000. I threw away $1,200 on a product that I never even used. How's that for crazy?

That really made me go "oh shit what the fuck was I thinking?"

It also made me look at money a little differently.

Here's what I mean.

See, we have what's known as a cost of living.

It's something I know that I didn't think about much but after this exercise...

I realize we are spending money every month on bare essentials. Rent. Food. Gym. Going out. Etc.

And after doing the above sheet...

Going through all the different accounts I have open...

I'm spending anywhere from 25% to 33% of my monthly income on living costs.

However, before the success I'm having now, I was severely underwater spending MORE THAN 100% of my total income.

Which makes sense because I was laid off at the end of January.

(I had to tap into my savings for that bit.)

Anyways...

My favorite part about all of this is, you can audit yourself.

You can look at your expenses and ask, "is this in alignment with who I am?"

In my mind, I'm a multi-millionaire copywriter/offer owner. I have a beautiful ride or die chick who is more than happy to bring other women into my life. I'm strong, healthy, and jacked.

I have the best family, friends and biz connects any man could ever ask for.

And I can do anything I want without worrying about costs.

Right now...

I see that I've been SUPER AGGRESSIVE with building my war chest/savings. That's necessary because the peace of mind that comes from this is amazing. Point in case, I got to do a $1,050 dentist procedure this Tuesday because of my gums.

I legit said on the phone when she told me the price "...that's it? Let's do it."

And again, that's because I know I have my savings built up.

Saving 50% of my income each month is an action that is aligned with how I see myself. Before you think this is some hippie shit, you should know that in psychology, this is known as "the consistency bias."

In other words...

People love to act in ways that are consistent with their own self-image.

[Which also another reason why I'm so gung-ho about this 365 day challenge. Are you starting to get it?]

Anyways...

That's my progress log for this challenge.

I definitely invite you to click on that link above to run your own finances on it.

I know it could be a little scary because maybe you have to face the fact you were spending money irresponsibly. Maybe you have shit that you bought that you never even used.

I have like $500 in kindle books that I haven't even touched yet!

Trust me dude. I'm not showing this to say I'm perfect. Fuck no. Far from it.

But guess what?

It doesn't matter. Knowing yourself is way more valuable than any false illusion of perfection.

Go get it boys. Have fun with it. Till tomorrow.

Slick

Good thing you got that shutdown quick! I had an issue with uber a while back and yeah it blows but definitely good to have a close eye on things.

I did a similar thing with the budget spreadsheet (but on paper) a few years back. It'd be interesting to see how things change because I know I spend more on food now. And definitely agree Amazon deserves a whole category on its own.

[Day 9 of 365 days of doing what I want even if I'm scared shitless to do it]
[Or if it even feels wrong. or I'm a "bad person" for doing so.]

I mourned today.

I put what happen in the reflecting on the past 7 years of self-improvement log.

Put simply though, I came to terms into why I started doing all of this.

I dove deep into all of it. Felt every single ounce of sadness.

Grief.

And happiness.

Then, I finally let it go.

[Day 10 of 365 days of doing what I want even if I'm scared shitless to do it]
[Or if it even feels wrong. or I'm a "bad person" for doing so.]

Today was nothing crazy.

I had my flight changed.

I asked the company to make my flight for one day earlier so I can link up with a former copy chief I used to write for.

Doing what I want is starting to feel easier and easier.

[Day 11 of 365 days of doing what I want even if I'm scared shitless to do it]
[Or if it even feels like wrong. or I'm a bad person for doing so.]

And just like that...

I know what I must work on next.

I'm not comfortable at all with taking photos. Nor am I comfortable with busting people's chops. Being in a work environvement where I couldn''t really tell who was who for three years, it definitely messed with me.

Today I was in a work environment again and I can tell how much I hold myself back.

Maybe it's for the best.

But I know for certain how uncomfortable I can get with photos or just being chill in other places outside of work.

On a cool note, I got a photo with me inside the delorean.

[Day 12 of 365 days of doing what I want even if I'm scared shitless to do it]
[Or if it even feels like wrong. or I'm a bad person for doing so.]

Have you ever had someone come up and threaten your income?

Let me tell you, you've never felt anything like this before.

Hostile, angry, downright ready to fight.

That's how I felt.

Because someone is competing against my sales letter that's currently bringing in sales. In my mind, I was like okay. Fuck you motherfucker. I'm going to take your ass down right the fuck now. But... then I realized something.

As nice as the money is right now that I'm making, I'm still making it for someone else.

Me and the other guy competing against one another...

Sure, we're going to be sweating it.

But the guy who owns it...

I bet he couldn't be more fucking thrilled. I don't like that. Not one fucking bit. So you know what that means, that means, this next sales letter I'm going to do, I'm going to find a way to put myself in the middle of it and make a fuck ton.

Enough to say fuck you to anyone. Because, seriously, fuck that.

I'm telling you...

Feeling like someone is coming after your income.

It makes you feel like it's a personal attack. Like your livelihood is being taken from you. Like just writing those words right now make me want to go on the offensive. Anyways, this money game is no joke. Get to fuck you. and then, after that...

Don't be afraid to live that shit up.

[Day 13 of 365 days of doing what I want even if I'm scared shitless to do it]
[Or if it even feels like wrong. or I'm a bad person for doing so.]

Today was a day full of doing things I want...

Even though I was uncomfortable as hell.

One of them being actively just messing with people at work. Openly busting their chops. Another was asking people that came in to do testimonial videos for us. We got one good video out of the three. But, it was still cool otherwise.

There was one part that seriously stood out though.

I talked to one of my friends that I work.

I asked her "So is this is what's it like for you on the regular?" because it was really fucking offputting to be checked out constantly by some gay dude. Like seriously fucking wierded out. And she tells me, "oh yeah this is life for me 24/7."

And then she begins to rattle story after story.

Holy shit boys.

Let me tell you. It was mind-blowing.

It honestly makes me want to make a day out of just asking hot women

"Do you get groped? Is this a thing that happens to you?"

And see what they share with me.

Obviously, I'm not going to just ask them straight out. I feel like I have to say this before someone says something dumb or tries something dumb, I'm going to set up the question by telling them about the conversation I have with this girl I work with.

Cool?

Dope.